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Location: Boise, Idaho | Alan,
I've often wondered whether condolences from a total stranger could do any good for someone like you who has to be experiencing grief that I've never had to experience yet. I probably wouldn't have responded because others have said everything I could say, but I read your post as my wife and I sat in our favorite chairs after coming back from church and I felt your shock and grief.
I'll say something that some may think is weird: Thank you for sharing your loss with us. For at least a few minutes, and I hope much longer than that, you made me stop and appreciate my loving, wonderful wife and reflect on how much she means to me. Maybe you can take some comfort in realizing that your request for prayer and support helped support some of us. |
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Location: Blue Ridge Mountains | Alan,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss; Since you shared your Chrisitanity with us, I trust that will see you through to the place where you can once again play...for now, be assured you are being lifted up as well as that peace will eventually find you again...
Phillipians 9:14...
Blessings,
Mike |
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Location: Texas | alan814,
True, we may not have met you in person, but I think many folks here share a common bond that extends beyond round-backed guitars. The fact that you posted the message you did at this difficult time tells me that you already sense that, whether you are conscious of it or not. You can feel that bond in the outpouring of support by members in the preceding messages.
In my short time as a member here, I already feel that I've made many good friends that I just haven't had the good fortune to meet in person yet.
So, we offer our prayers and whatever support we can to you. Play when you're ready, take comfort in the music, and know that she will always be listening… |
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Posts: 5575
Location: big island | aloha alan,
i offered up prayers for you in the wee hours of this morning just after you posted. i was unable to post a response as i sensed the pain of your grief and words would not form. please know you are well supported here. may our concern and encouragement be very tangible for you.
Numbers 6:24-26,
randy |
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Location: Marlton, NJ | Alan - I am so very sorry for your loss. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Mike |
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Posts: 200
Location: Melbourne Fl. | Alan,my thoughts and prayers go with you in your time of loss.I'm sure everyone here will say the same,and hopefully your burden will be lightened by the sharing........ |
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Location: the BIG Metropolis of TR | Alan, I'm wiping the tears away as I type this....The sadness I feel for your lost I know cannot come close to the sadness and pain you're going through right now. Just remember you have many friends here and we all pray that you'll get through this,and with time you'll find that your music will be what keeps your wife's memory alive in your heart......
My deepest condolences |
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Location: SoCal | Alan, Please accept my deepest condolences on the loss of your wife. My thoughts are with you. |
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Location: Sydney, Australia | Alan,
I think the suddenness of this must make it incredibly hard. My Dad died after an 8 year battle with cancer. This gave everyone (him included) time to come to grips with it. You must feel like you've been slapped around by a heavyweight boxer.
Hang in there, it'll hurt like hell for quite a while, but eventually it will start to get better and you'll plan a life somewhat different from what you had in mind before all this. |
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Location: 6 String Ranch | your guitar will get you through |
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Location: Michigan | Our prayers are with you and call on any of us here for anything to help you thru this tough time.GWB |
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Posts: 629
Location: Houston, Texas | Music is emotion. It can express tremendous joy and tremendous pain. I know you're numb right now with grief, but let the music help to heal.
I can't imagine where I'd be now, if I didn't have the ability to express emotion through music.
When it's time, you'll surely work up some good blisters.
My sympathies. |
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Location: Latitude 39.56819, Longitude -105.080066 | Comforting thoughts and prayers sent your way. Time eventually heals all. |
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Location: Portland, OR | Alan:
Not much to add. Sometimes music helps, sometimes not. While it's true that you had not much time to say goodbye, it's also true that she had not much time to suffer from this awful thing. From what you said, I'm sure you know that the souls of the just are in the hands of God. They may seem to our eyes to be dead, but they bask in God's love.
There is a brotherhood of man, this thread proves it. John |
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Posts: 3111
Location: Nashville TN. | Originally posted by alan814:
I hope no one here takes exception, but I enjoy this forum and the easy friendly feeling that shows thru each posting. My world just came crashing down and I'm really having a tough time right now. I found out Friday that my wife had advanced cancer of the breast and quite possibly cancer was present in her lungs, bones and liver. That was confirmed yesterday morning and shortly after 6 pm yesterday I lost her. My whole reason for making music at this point has ceased to be. We are both Christians, so I'm dealing with a lot much easier than I would have and I'm sure at some future date I'll play and praise the Lord again.
I know none of you know me and didn't know her, but what I'm asking for here is just some prayer and support. Thanks for letting me share. First I am sorry for you lose.
Her suffering is over and she with Jesus.
All that she gave is still there.
I lost parents to caner in the last year.
I feel for ya.
hang in there
pez |
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December 2003
Posts: 13984
Location: Upper Left USA | Alan,
I am sorry for all that you had to go through in a very short time. You are not alone, by any means and while the pain is real but the comfort is present as well.
Pete Seeger and the Byrds had a glimpse of it when they quoted Ecclesiastes.
To everything there is a season... |
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Location: Hot Springs, S.D. | I am so sorry for your loss. You will be in my prayers. |
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Posts: 3603
Location: Pacific Northwest Inland Empire | "I want to be left alone, but not be alone."
Grief. Don't stray off too far, & stay in touch.
Your guitar is the vehicle- choose to drive. |
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Location: Orange County, California | You got our (and many others') Prayers Bro. |
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Location: Steeler Nation, Hudson Valley Contingent | I truly can't say anything that hasn't already been said. I can only offer my sincere condolences. And of course, you are in my prayers. |
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Posts: 2120
Location: Chicago | In Eastern Orthodox tradition: "Memory Eternal!"
(My dear one and I have not even hit the 25th anniversary but we've known each other for longer. I can't IMAGINE what you've been through.) |
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Posts: 30
Location: Indiana | Over at peaveyt60.com we went through a period of time where it seemed like everybody was losing a friend, family member.......and the wonderful warmth and support of the folks there sustained many of us. It is almost 2 years since I lost my father to multiple myeloma at a time when I was just starting to write a song that was partly about him but more broadly about Veterans of "The Forgotten War" in Korea (of which he was one). When he passed, it took me a couple months before I could even keep writing it and more before I could start playing/recording it. Each step was painful, but as I look back on it this was part of my own way of grieving. There will always be an emotional reaction with that song, but in the wee hours of Veterans Day, 2007 I was able to get it out on my MySpace player. The reaction has been positive from both family and many veterans or sons/daughters of Korean War veterans. (And my Ovation guitar was the sound of the song....)
So what in the world has this to do with your loss......maybe you can and maybe you can't write a song about your loss, but music is a great "equalizer" IMHO in our lives and I just want to say maybe you can find a song that allows you to express yourself in this regard. It could be mournful if that's what you feel or perhaps something that helps you remember better times.
It's already been said that your lost loved one deserves it, so I'll suggest that YOU deserve it. FIND that right song, maybe even *more* than one and just play it and let it carry you through. It will be hard at first but in the end, you'll know when you've gotten it right.
As we might say over at the T60 board "prayers and mojo to ya".......
Duane |
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Location: Atlanta GA | Alan |
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Location: Atlanta GA | Alan
I am deeply saddened for your loss. I can't begin to understand your feelings of loss and saddness. Although I will say from first hand experience that "time heals all wounds", so every day you trudge on, is another day closer you will get to the point where "normal" feels normal.
My thoughts and prayers are with you. |
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OT - Passing
