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Joined:
March 2009
Posts: 20
| Hi everybody! I always start my first post off where ever I post no matter what I post with not for the weak because I just think its a real attention getter! It doesn't necessarally mean anything!
Is anybody here a Glenn Frey fan? I love the song he did called SMUGGLERS BLUES. I'd like to write songs like that but I'm not good enough to do that!
So I sit around in my spare time and rewrite songs that I like for fun. Usually I try and make them funny but sometimes I try and write them to reflect current events.
I think songs truely do reflect life for the most part, and thank God for free speech! How long we'll have that though is anybodys guess, but for now at least we can enjoy that.
Anyway, I'm not here to talk politics, even if some here might feel this song reflects it. I'm just looking for some good feed back on the song to see how people might feel about a song like this. I rewrote it last night and of course I would love to see Glenn frey remake it and sing it on the radio but naturally thats not gonna happen.
I'm not going to tell you what its about. I want to see if on the merites of the words alone if you can figure it out! Just remember to go with the tune of SMUGGLERS BLUES as you sing it! I don't get offended easy so let me have it if you don't like it, just tell me why you don't like it. I know you cannot write or rewrite a song to please everybody and knowing what people don't like about it is just as important as knowing what they liked about it. So with that in mind here it is. I call it the SMOKERS BLUES!
THE SMOKER’S BLUES
They’ll be trouble on the street tonight
I can feel it in my bones
I had a premonition
That she should not quit alone
I knew the pack was empty
But I didn't think she'd kill
Everything exploded
And the blood began to spill
So Lady, here's a new pack
Just hold it in your hand
Here's a brand new lighter
Just incase you can’t quit the way you planned.
She held that pack for hours
But it was more than she could stand
eeeeeeyeah
Well I'm sorry it went down like that
But the odds were that you’d lose
It's the nature of addiction
It's the smoker’s blues
The smokers Blues
Criminals are politicians
With new tax laws
They rip off then they slip off
With money nobody saw
No matter what’s your pleasure
If its chew, puff or snuff
You have to carry a weapon
When you go to buy the stuff
They’ll be lots of shady characters
In back ally tax free deals
Everyone’s a criminal
At least that’s how they’ll make you feel
And every court room Judge Rob’s you like it’s no big deal
Then they hide their crimes away
Behind cold hard bars of steel
Bars of steel
Perhaps you’ll understand it better
When you’re standing in those shoes
It's the ultimate addiction
It's the smoker’s blues
The smoker’s blues
You see it in the headlines
You read it every day
They say it’s gonna kill you
But they sell it anyway
They grow it on the east cost, and out near L.A.
They tax it up and sell it
I mean it’s here to stay
It's propping up the government of the state and federal too
If you complain about injustice
They say there’s nothing' you can do
From the office of the President
Right down to me and you
I said me and you
(shotgun pump)
Well here’s a brand new proposition
And one they can’t refuse
(shotgun blast)
It's the nature of addiction
It's the smoker’s blues
(Shotgun pump)
Smoker’s blues
Eeeeeeeyeah |
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Joined:
January 2009
Posts: 379
Location: Alagoas, Brazil | Welcome then, Mr. BSD! |
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Joined:
March 2009
Posts: 20
| Thank you! |
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Joined:
November 2002
Posts: 3603
Location: Pacific Northwest Inland Empire | Clever rewrite. Will avoid political speculation.
Rhythm seems to hold OK. A bit predictable, though. Needs a few twists & double-entendre', perhaps.
Addiction happens on many levels, eh? |
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Joined:
March 2009
Posts: 20
| Thanks seesquare, I have found in song writing sometimes its hard to stay on topic and not be to predictable. However, I have been playing around with it some and have already changed and modified a few lines. Perhaps that will spice it up a bit while still staying true to the message. At any rate thank you for your honesty! Here for everyone is the modified version. I'll just sit back and see which one the people like the best!
THE SMOKER’S BLUES
They’ll be trouble on the street tonight
I can feel it in my bones
I had a premonition
That she shouldn't try and quit so stoned
I knew her pack was empty
But I didn't think she'd kill
Everything exploded
And the blood began to spill
Now baby, here's a new pack
Just hold it in your hand
Here's a brand new lighter
Incase you can’t quit the way you planned.
She held that pack for hours
But it was more than she could stand
eeeeeeeyeah
Well I'm sorry it went down like that
But the odds were that you’d lose
It's the nature of addiction
It's the smoker’s blues
The smokers Blues
Criminals are politicians
With new tax laws
They rip off then they slip off
With money nobody saw
No matter what’s your pleasure
If you chew, sniff snuff or puff
You have to carry a weapon
When you go to buy the stuff
They’ll be lots of shady characters
In back ally tax free deals
Everyone’s a criminal
At least that’s how you’ll feel
As every court room Judge
Rob’s you like it’s really no big deal
Then they hide their crimes away
Behind cold hard bars of steel
Bars of steel
Perhaps you’ll understand it better
When you’re standing in those shoes
It's the ultimate addiction
It's the smoker’s blues
The smoker’s blues
You see it in the headlines
You read it every day
They say it’s gonna kill you
But they still sell it anyway
They grow it on the east cost, and out near L.A.
They tax it up and sell it
Man, I mean it’s here to stay
It's propping up the government with tax base revenue
But if you complain of injustice
They’ll say there’s nothing' you can do
Smoking for the very rich
And not meant for me and you
Me and you
(shotgun pump)
Well here’s a brand new proposition
And one they can’t refuse
(shotgun blast)
It's the nature of addiction
It's the smoker’s blues
(Shotgun pump)
Smoker’s blues
Eeeeeeeyeah |
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Joined:
July 2005
Posts: 3408
Location: GA USA | Now make a video and post it at OFC ning for us to see!
Welcome! |
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Joined:
March 2009
Posts: 20
| LOL I don't know how tomake a video! Even if I did, I don't think I could do it on this system! Or I would! LOL Maybe one of you guys can do it for me? I'd love to see it! |
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Joined:
December 2001
Posts: 7210
Location: The Great Pacific Northwest | I would have swapped (shotgun pump), (shotgun blast) with (lighter opening), (lighter lighting).
But other than that...
And really, please.. lets not go political on this, I don't think it is... yet.. but does anyone smoke anymore? Kind of rhetorical question as in it's not a poll!!! But in the general sense.
The last few states I've lived/visited, it's been pretty much illegal to smoke but in a few places.
In Maryland, it was kinda fun going to a club to listen to live music, and no smoke (cept from the gof machine). In Washington, the only place one can smoke is in a Casino.
I have to admit, the lack of the smokey dankness in the bar was kinda weird... but you get over it after a couple of beers.
But seriously at $30+ dollars a carton, and only being able to smoke outside, I only know a couple of people that still smoke.
I know if I was gigging again I'd feel a lot better bringing high-end guitars to club now knowing they wouldn't turn yellow from the smoke. |
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Joined:
November 2005
Posts: 4816
Location: Campbell River, British Columbia | Around here smoking is pretty much a non-issue. Few people smoke, you can't smoke anywhere people gather. (it will shortly be illegal to smoke in your car if there are children with you.)
The one smoker I know doesn't even smoke in his own home. It would be like shooting up at the dinner table. |
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Joined:
September 2006
Posts: 10777
Location: Keepin' It Weird in Portland, OR | Yeah, but what about those folks who need a cigarette stuck in the tuning head of their guitar?
Y'know, for that definitive Bluesman prop?
I noticed an Eddie Van Halen clip, him playing with his cigarette stuck in the headstock.
Dude? You played for seven minutes, I think that cigarette is done-for by then.
Disclaimer-- I smoke nasty roll-yer-own cigarettes... Lots of them.  |
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Joined:
January 2006
Posts: 1477
Location: Michigan | our state just turned down the public smoking law again so here in michigan you will smell like a campfire whenever you go out in public.
and $30.00 a carton??? i just heard a co-worker tell me that he is going to have to quit because a carton of smokes are going up to $70.00.
its to bad because it never fails when i am sitting in the no smoking section of a resturant the table that is one away from mine that is in the smoking section will light up a rotten 10 year old white owl cigar and blow the entire resturant out and think its a cool thing to do.smoke destroys everything from your body to your clothes to your equipment.
did ya ever leave your guitar case open at a bar or at someones house when there was alott of smoking going on and open it up the next morning and get that putred whiff of skank.wheeewwwee.GWB |
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Joined:
October 2005
Posts: 4026
Location: Utah | Originally posted by Old Man Arthur:
Yeah, but what about those folks who need a cigarette stuck in the tuning head of their guitar?
Y'know, for that definitive Bluesman prop? Now there's a product idea. The Electronic Bluesman Cigarette. Battery powered with a hi-tech LED glowing in the tip. Fits perfectly stuck on the tuning head of any guitar. I'm gonna sell millions of them to wannabe blues players! Just like wannabe pilots will buy millions of my kerosene scented car fresheners. Easy street, here I come... |
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Joined:
November 2005
Posts: 4816
Location: Campbell River, British Columbia | The music is just that teensy bit better when it's a spleef stuck in tuning head. |
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Joined:
March 2009
Posts: 20
| I know it’s hard for people to understand people who smoke. My advice to anyone is never start smoking. I fully well know now why it’s not a good idea to smoke! It’s too bad one couldn’t know what they know now at the time when they first wanted to start smoking! I guess it’s that way for a lot of things not just smoking. Still people do what they do and believe they have the right to do it. We over threw a government one time simply for over taxing our tea. I’m sure there were at the time people there who could have paid the tax with no problem and even people who didn’t even drink tea. Still, enough did and I know there was more to it than just taxing tea but that was the straw that broke the camels back that lead to revolution and our gaining our independence as a nation!
Who among us will be the first to say their sorry we did that? Who among us will be the first to say our fore fathers were just crazy blood thirsty murders for so willingly killing those who oppressed them? Who among us will be the first to say they were insane for even thinking about killing someone? In order to be free and rule ourselves we had to have men with the back bone to stand up for what they thought was right! I for one am glad they were man enough back then to pay the price it took.
Today history has come full circle! We are lawed, ruled and regulated to death. Any and everything is a crime now days. I am a good man, a good husband, a good father, a good citizen, an all around good guy who would give you the shirt off his back to help you, and have! But even I can have a bad day every now and then. Recently I had a run in with the law myself. Basically it was my own fault, I argued with a store manager at a car parts store who had ordered the wrong part for me three different times! I had already paid the $52 for the part so when I decided that, that was enough incompetence, and that I wanted my money back so I could go else where he began to laugh at me and act like I was silly! This lead to a heated argument where he was going to make sure he won! What ever happened to the customer is always right? I don’t know what possessed me to do it but when I popped, I grabbed the baseball cap off my head and threw it 3 feet across the counter at him and hit him in the face! Now think about it. How bad did I hurt this 6 foot tall 250lb man? He brought 3rd degree assault charges against me like I was a common street thug! That hat throw cost me the $52 which I never got back and $900 for a lawyer and still they stole 40 hours of community service away from me. I could go on for hours about the things I have learned from all this but I’ll hold my peace except to say, this is the kind of America we live in today!
The recent cigarette tax plays such a small part in the larger scheme of things. Still its just one more link in the chain of oppression that is leading us into captivity as a nation. I talked to a cop about the hat throwing thing and he told me that if I had hit him in the face with the hat it would have been a felony! That means I would have lost my right to vote and own a firearm! Think about that! STOP AND THINK! Next time it will be you!
I see you would have replaced the shotgun pump and blast with something else. For me that is the most important part of the song! That to me represents, I’ve had enough, it represents a new way of thinking! It represents a new direction we must go. That is the message I want the song portray! The vote and politics as usual achieves very little. Even a man who enters into politics even with a pure heart wanting to do what is right is still soon corrupted. This song is an exercise in futility; it will soon fall by the wayside. It is more for fun and time consuming! But this new way of thinking among men such as myself is growing. One of the others mentioned that soon it would be against the law to smoke in a car with children it. And he may be right. It’s just like the state to do something like that. So that after 4 or 5 times of being caught doing it they then can take your child away from you and throw it into the foster home system. There they use our tax dollars to pay people to take care of our children who in a lot of cases get abused and raped. No one will take care of your child like you will. For every one child they truly help a 100 more suffer. If you don’t believe me ask some child who’s been threw the cycle. Like the police, the courts, the prisons, the foster care or child services system does not care about right or wrong, keeping the community safe for you and me or the true well being of a child. It’s the flow of money that puts the food on their table that motivates them. The shotgun represents we are tired of it! I hope that explains why I am willing to replace anything in the song as long as it fits better than what I have except for that. Do you have any other suggestion? |
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October 2005
Posts: 5327
Location: Cicero, NY | Miles... |
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January 2007
Posts: 672
Location: New South Wales, Australia | Yeah...talk about guitars |
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October 2005
Posts: 5327
Location: Cicero, NY | Check! please... |
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March 2009
Posts: 20
| Its on me! Have a nice night! |
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Joined:
March 2009
Posts: 20
| Originally posted by ozwatto:
Yeah...talk about guitars sorry, I don't own one but I think their cool! Who doesnt love the sound of a good guitar? |
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Joined:
March 2009
Posts: 20
| Originally posted by Weaser P:
Miles... smiles... |
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Joined:
October 2005
Posts: 5327
Location: Cicero, NY | Most here love the sound of a good guitar. Some even enjoy the sound of a not-so-good guitar which is cool too.
So...exactly why are YOU here? |
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June 2008
Posts: 31
Location: alabama | Anyway, I'm not here to talk politics
Hate to see what would happen if you were... :rolleyes: |
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October 2005
Posts: 5327
Location: Cicero, NY | I would LOVE to see what would happen. ;) |
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March 2009
Posts: 20
| Originally posted by Weaser P:
Most here love the sound of a good guitar. Some even enjoy the sound of a not-so-good guitar which is cool too.
So...exactly why are YOU here? Of all the threads in the world, they had to walk into mine! LOL (Humpry Bogart)
Well weaser if you have to ask me that question it tells me your not reading any of this. Because if its not crystal clear by now, I don't know what I can do to inlighten you.
Lets just say I'm passing through and I'll be out of your hair soon. Then you can go back to the important things in life like talking about guitars and strings and carring case things or what ever you like. I'm just here for some data! |
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Joined:
March 2009
Posts: 20
| Originally posted by WCL:
Anyway, I'm not here to talk politics
Hate to see what would happen if you were... :rolleyes:
Its ok, not everyone is cut out for that sort of thing! |
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Not for the weak
Members Forums -> General Posting
