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Joined:
June 2006
Posts: 7307
Location: South of most, North of few | Birthday, that is. Happy birthday Mike!! |
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Joined:
October 2006
Posts: 5575
Location: big island | birthday blessings, mikey! |
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Joined:
December 2006
Posts: 6268
Location: Florida Central Gulf Coast | One of my favorite ol' farts... ;)
Many more Mike!  |
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Joined:
November 2007
Posts: 1486
Location: Cincinnati | Happy birthday, Mike! |
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Joined:
October 2007
Posts: 2711
Location: Vernon CT | Happy B'day you.... oops, Old Man!! ;) |
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Joined:
December 2006
Posts: 6268
Location: Florida Central Gulf Coast | In the spirit of Mike's birthday...
WHAAA...?
An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: 'They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!' she cried.
The dispatcher said, ‘Stay calm. An officer is on the way.'
A few minutes later, the officer radios in. 'Disregard,' he says.
'She got in the back-seat by mistake.'
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FAMILY
Three sisters, ages 92, 94, and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters,
'Was I getting in or out of the bath?'
The 94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come up and see.’
She starts up the stairs and pauses, 'Was I going up the stairs or down?'
The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, 'I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood.’ She then yells, ‘I’ll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door.'
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‘I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!'
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day.
One remarked to the other, 'Windy, isn't it?'
'No,' the second man replied, 'It's Thursday.'
And the third man chimed in, ‘So am I. Let's have a beer . . . '
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LITTLE LADY:
A little old lady was going up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say ‘Supersex.’
She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, &n bsp;'Supersex.'
He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, 'I'll take the soup.'
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OLD FRIENDS:
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me. I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it.
Please tell me what your name is. ‘
Her friend glared at her .. For at least three minutes, she just stared and glared at her.
Finally she said, 'How soon do you need to know?'
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SENIOR DRIVING
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, 'Ernie, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!'
‘Heck,’ said Ernie, 'It's not just one car. It’s hundreds of them!' |
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Joined:
November 2006
Posts: 2241
Location: Simpsonville, SC | Many Happy Returns Mike! |
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Joined:
September 2006
Posts: 10777
Location: Keepin' It Weird in Portland, OR | Ignore all them old folks jokes...
As long as you keep-on having birthdays and stay on the right side of the grass, you're cool!
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Joined:
March 2005
Posts: 5563
Location: Blue Ridge Mountains | Happy, Happy BDay Mike! |
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Joined:
December 2004
Posts: 4394
Location: East Tennessee | Thanks guys,
Had a great day. No new guitars,(or capos), :(
Did get a new notebook computer. Had to talk to my grandson for some technical assistance.
iffy, thanks for the call,(and the jokes).
Some of you may not know but it has been a very busy two weeks.
I started back to work part time and have been working 35 - 40 hours/week, Granddaughters visit from Florida,daughter in law in the hospital for back surgery and now she can't walk. She has shown some improvement with therapy. She is able to walk short distances,(with assistance of hand rails). |
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Joined:
July 2003
Posts: 3111
Location: Nashville TN. | Happy Birthday!!1 |
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Joined:
February 2003
Posts: 2177
Location: the BIG Metropolis of TR | Happy Birthday, Mike.......Best wishes for MANY more! |
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Capo guy's got another one
