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Ho Ho Ho

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   Forums Archive -> The Vault: 2006Message format
 
schroeder
Posted 2006-12-04 8:19 AM (#228687)
Subject: Ho Ho Ho


Joined:
November 2004
Posts: 4413

No, not a call to the ladies of downtown Detroit but:-

You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually
either male or female.


Here are some examples:

FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can
see right through them.

PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off, it takes a while to
warm them up again.
They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed,
but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong
buttons.

TYRES: Tyres are male, because they go bald easily and are often over
inflated.

HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go
anywhere, you have to light a fire under their arse

SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain
water.

WEB PAGES: Female, because they're constantly being looked at and
frequently getting hit on.

TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for
picking up people.

EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts
to the bottom.

HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at
all, and are occasionally handy to have around.

THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would
be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost
without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just
keeps trying.
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Jeff W.
Posted 2006-12-04 8:53 AM (#228688 - in reply to #228687)
Subject: Re: Ho Ho Ho


Joined:
November 2003
Posts: 11039

Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub
What's a "TYRE"
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brainslag
Posted 2006-12-04 9:53 AM (#228689 - in reply to #228687)
Subject: Re: Ho Ho Ho


Joined:
April 2006
Posts: 1138

Location: CT
I guess thats how it's spelled across the pond.
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Trader Jim
Posted 2006-12-04 9:59 AM (#228690 - in reply to #228687)
Subject: Re: Ho Ho Ho


Joined:
June 2006
Posts: 7307

Location: South of most, North of few
Originally posted by Jeff W.:
What's a "TYRE"
I beleive thats "tire" in most areas of the US, except down here where I live, where it's called a "tarr".
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cliff
Posted 2006-12-04 10:00 AM (#228691 - in reply to #228687)
Subject: Re: Ho Ho Ho


Joined:
March 2002
Posts: 14842

Location: NJ
Leave 'im alone.
He's probably been up all night, and is quite . . . tyred.
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Waskel
Posted 2006-12-04 11:06 AM (#228692 - in reply to #228687)
Subject: Re: Ho Ho Ho



Joined:
February 2005
Posts: 11840

Location: closely held secret
I suppose when he drinks too much coffee he gets wyred.
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schroeder
Posted 2006-12-04 11:12 AM (#228693 - in reply to #228687)
Subject: Re: Ho Ho Ho


Joined:
November 2004
Posts: 4413

You're all fyred.
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Weaser P
Posted 2006-12-04 11:18 AM (#228694 - in reply to #228687)
Subject: Re: Ho Ho Ho


Joined:
October 2005
Posts: 5327

Location: Cicero, NY
Fyne. Just fyne.
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Jeff W.
Posted 2006-12-04 11:19 AM (#228695 - in reply to #228687)
Subject: Re: Ho Ho Ho


Joined:
November 2003
Posts: 11039

Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub
Btye me.
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schroeder
Posted 2006-12-04 11:20 AM (#228696 - in reply to #228687)
Subject: Re: Ho Ho Ho


Joined:
November 2004
Posts: 4413

That kinda missed.... :D
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jb
Posted 2006-12-04 12:27 PM (#228697 - in reply to #228687)
Subject: Re: Ho Ho Ho


Joined:
December 2004
Posts: 370

Location: Isle of Man, UK
Ah, two countries separated by a common language!

Thanks for the giggles, Schro - hope that everything is still on the up (so to speak...)

JB
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FlicKreno aka Solid Top
Posted 2006-12-04 7:39 PM (#228698 - in reply to #228687)
Subject: Re: Ho Ho Ho


Joined:
April 2006
Posts: 2491

Location: Copenhagen Denmark
"Two Countries Separated By a Common Language "....Male or Female.. :confused:
:rolleyes:
Vic
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rededdie
Posted 2006-12-04 8:26 PM (#228699 - in reply to #228687)
Subject: Re: Ho Ho Ho



Joined:
January 2006
Posts: 387

Location: Whitecourt, Ab
What about guitars?... Female because they like to get plucked
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