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Is there ever a nice way of doing this?

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ozwatto
Posted 2008-11-01 7:04 PM (#13882)
Subject: Is there ever a nice way of doing this?


Joined:
January 2007
Posts: 672

Location: New South Wales, Australia
Had to drop a guitarist from our band yesterday afternoon. He didn't take it too well but he just wasn't up to scratch.

We've got a gig next week and he was making us sound even worse than what we are. For me, I find it hard to play in a band situation if I have to worry about the bloke next to me. Is he going to get it right, is he going to keep in time, etc etc.

What experiences have others had, and is there ever a nice way of telling a fellow musician that he or she is out of the band?
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Weaser P
Posted 2008-11-01 7:20 PM (#13883 - in reply to #13882)
Subject: Re: Is there ever a nice way of doing this?


Joined:
October 2005
Posts: 5327

Location: Cicero, NY
I don't think there's ever a great way to tell someone they're not "good enough" (and that, by the way, can be subjective - maybe they're good enough but just "not right") but, if they're not "fitting in", the discussion has to be had. I was in a band where the bass player was just plain awful and, despite his being a good friend of everyone, we had to move him out. I'm not sure who felt worse.
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Gallerinski
Posted 2008-11-01 7:42 PM (#13884 - in reply to #13882)
Subject: Re: Is there ever a nice way of doing this?
Joined:
May 2008
Posts: 4996

Location: Phoenix AZ
I've had to do it a few times (and it's been done to me a few more times that that). Best not to say it's because he's "not good enough". Yeah that's open to interpretation. I just just go with stuff that can't be argued - you're out because you're polish, black, jewish, smell, gay, whatever. It'll sting for a moment, but the guy has no rebuttal other than to say "well, yeah I am and if you don't like it than I guess I don't belong here." That's it - swift and clean. If you say you've cut him because he wasn't good enough, he'll go on for months wondering "was I good enough or not? am I that bad?" You'll be second guessing as well. I know this sounds whack-o, but seriously it's the best way.

Dave
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Weaser P
Posted 2008-11-01 7:50 PM (#13885 - in reply to #13882)
Subject: Re: Is there ever a nice way of doing this?


Joined:
October 2005
Posts: 5327

Location: Cicero, NY
Am I alone here when I say it's amazing that he's still alive?
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cliff
Posted 2008-11-01 7:55 PM (#13886 - in reply to #13882)
Subject: Re: Is there ever a nice way of doing this?


Joined:
March 2002
Posts: 14842

Location: NJ
it's th'JerseyWay.
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Joe Rotax
Posted 2008-11-01 7:59 PM (#13887 - in reply to #13882)
Subject: Re: Is there ever a nice way of doing this?


Joined:
February 2008
Posts: 747

Originally posted by Gallerinski:
If you say you've cut him because he wasn't good enough, he'll go on for months wondering "was I good enough or not? am I that bad?"
The other thing too is that if you tell someone they aren't good enough and can't play worth a toss they might get angry and bring a human rights action against you..lol
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stephent28
Posted 2008-11-01 8:00 PM (#13888 - in reply to #13882)
Subject: Re: Is there ever a nice way of doing this?



Joined:
April 2004
Posts: 13303

Location: Latitude 39.56819, Longitude -105.080066
Once again, Witko is a sage.
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guitarwannabee
Posted 2008-11-01 8:11 PM (#13889 - in reply to #13882)
Subject: Re: Is there ever a nice way of doing this?


Joined:
January 2006
Posts: 1477

Location: Michigan
The hardest thing our band had to do was having to get rid of our drummer Pete Best.It wasnt because of a lack of talent it was he did not fit in with the personality of what the band was, so we brought in Ringo :p GWB :D
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gulfcoast
Posted 2008-11-01 8:20 PM (#13890 - in reply to #13882)
Subject: Re: Is there ever a nice way of doing this?


Joined:
November 2004
Posts: 1330

Location: ms
We are phasing out a guy right now. Just taking it slow so no hurt feelings.
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TAFKAR
Posted 2008-11-01 8:25 PM (#13891 - in reply to #13882)
Subject: Re: Is there ever a nice way of doing this?



Joined:
April 2008
Posts: 2985

Location: Sydney, Australia
You could use Gulfcoast's method. Gradually take him out of songs one by one "This song sounds better with just one guitar, how about you sit this one out" and then just do it with more and more songs. Stevie Nicks used to go and change clothes on songs that Fleetwood Mac didn't need her on. An Australian, Frankie J. Holden (Ol' 55) used to drink during the songs he wasn't needed on - made for an entertaining end to the evening.
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dobro
Posted 2008-11-01 8:28 PM (#13892 - in reply to #13882)
Subject: Re: Is there ever a nice way of doing this?



Joined:
January 2006
Posts: 2120

Location: Chicago
I feel for ya.... If you have a "vision" and the others are just "strokin' it", busy with all sortsa a bullsh*t: you must speak the truth!

It becomes obvious when the band is no longer a priority: excuses, wives, jobs, problems etc....

The good news is that if YOU are inspired, there will be comrades available to join and fight!!
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ozwatto
Posted 2008-11-01 10:56 PM (#13893 - in reply to #13882)
Subject: Re: Is there ever a nice way of doing this?


Joined:
January 2007
Posts: 672

Location: New South Wales, Australia
Some good suggestions here, and Weaser, no..you're not alone :D

I suppose us Aussies aren't always known for our diplomacy but when we're halfway through a song and the guy stops and says to me..."what's a C sharp minor?"...well, there's no easy way of letting him down gently.

Who knows, we may have done him a favour and inspired him to go home and put some time into practising.
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Mark in Boise
Posted 2008-11-02 1:27 AM (#13895 - in reply to #13882)
Subject: Re: Is there ever a nice way of doing this?


Joined:
March 2005
Posts: 12750

Location: Boise, Idaho
No one has ever invited me to join a band, nor ever agreed to play in the same room. So this is not a problem for me.
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flackster
Posted 2008-11-02 1:58 AM (#13894 - in reply to #13882)
Subject: Re: Is there ever a nice way of doing this?


Joined:
September 2008
Posts: 757

Location: Melbourne Australia
Watto - do you have to find someone to replace him for your gig next weekend or will you do without and is he going to be there??
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flackster
Posted 2008-11-02 2:58 AM (#13896 - in reply to #13882)
Subject: Re: Is there ever a nice way of doing this?


Joined:
September 2008
Posts: 757

Location: Melbourne Australia
Hey watto - I can play a C#m - not very well but at least I know what it is :p
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muzza
Posted 2008-11-02 4:18 AM (#13897 - in reply to #13882)
Subject: Re: Is there ever a nice way of doing this?



Joined:
August 2005
Posts: 3736

Location: Sunshine State, Australia
Hang on Oz. You've only got ONE guitarist in your band - YOU.

Are you telling me that you're not good enough to play with yourself.

(That doesn't sound quite right, but you know what I mean.)
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Losov
Posted 2008-11-02 5:13 AM (#13898 - in reply to #13882)
Subject: Re: Is there ever a nice way of doing this?


Joined:
October 2008
Posts: 489

Just have everybody else quit and form another band.
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dobro
Posted 2008-11-02 9:26 AM (#13899 - in reply to #13882)
Subject: Re: Is there ever a nice way of doing this?



Joined:
January 2006
Posts: 2120

Location: Chicago
In the 90s I was in a jazz-rock band where the trumpet player forgot to show half the time. We began auditioning other guys. He got the point fast.
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ozwatto
Posted 2008-11-02 4:53 PM (#13900 - in reply to #13882)
Subject: Re: Is there ever a nice way of doing this?


Joined:
January 2007
Posts: 672

Location: New South Wales, Australia
Originally posted by muzza:
Hang on Oz. You've only got ONE guitarist in your band - YOU.

Are you telling me that you're not good enough to play with yourself.

(That doesn't sound quite right, but you know what I mean.)
Some would say that I'm a master at playing with myself :eek:

But we've been looking for another guitarist for the past six months..just to fill the gaps. This guy (a mate of the bass player) showed up a month ago and said he wanted to play with us. So we gave him the music and told him to learn it.

He turned up 45 minutes late on Saturday, buggered around with his amp for another 15 and then went about demonstrating how much practise he HADN'T done.

We have left the door open for him if he's willing to put a bit of time and effort into it...but he won't be playing with us on Saturday night.

So you're right Muz..I am the only guitarist in the band.
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TAFKAR
Posted 2008-11-02 7:26 PM (#13901 - in reply to #13882)
Subject: Re: Is there ever a nice way of doing this?



Joined:
April 2008
Posts: 2985

Location: Sydney, Australia
Originally posted by muzza:
Are you telling me that you're not good enough to play with yourself.
Great Muzz, another image* I didn't want that I have to get out of my head. Out damn you out!

(*The last one was Iffy's ankle, pre-hospital)
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an4340
Posted 2008-11-02 7:52 PM (#13902 - in reply to #13882)
Subject: Re: Is there ever a nice way of doing this?


Joined:
May 2003
Posts: 4389

Location: Capital District, NY, USA Minor Outlying Islands
A friend of mine was in a band. The leader wrote all the music, but couldn't play worth sh@t. So the bass and keyboards told him, he sucked, that they were kicking him out, but that they they were going to continue playing his music. The band died.
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dobro
Posted 2008-11-02 10:23 PM (#13903 - in reply to #13882)
Subject: Re: Is there ever a nice way of doing this?



Joined:
January 2006
Posts: 2120

Location: Chicago
Before I had the good fortune of meeting Jeff Burns on this site, I "autditioned" a bunch of guys, hoping to find a partner to do the stuff we do now. The one tune that really made a difference was "Mediterranean Sundance" (fast tempo). They never came back or called.... Too bad.
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fillhixx
Posted 2008-11-03 12:45 AM (#13904 - in reply to #13882)
Subject: Re: Is there ever a nice way of doing this?



Joined:
November 2005
Posts: 4817

Location: Campbell River, British Columbia
Other possibilities;
"We've decided to go in a different direction, you go that way..."
"We want to play with other musicians..."
"We've met someone else, more...well...you know.."

Point at drummer; "He says it's either him or you and drummers are harder to find."

Or, don't tell him when the practices are or the gigs.
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muzza
Posted 2008-11-03 4:45 AM (#13905 - in reply to #13882)
Subject: Re: Is there ever a nice way of doing this?



Joined:
August 2005
Posts: 3736

Location: Sunshine State, Australia
Originally posted by fillhixx:
Or, don't tell him when the practices are or the gigs.
Or, tell him where the practices are or the gigs, but not your practices or gigs.
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ProfessorBB
Posted 2008-11-03 1:18 PM (#13906 - in reply to #13882)
Subject: Re: Is there ever a nice way of doing this?



Joined:
January 2006
Posts: 5881

Location: Colorado Rocky Mountains
I figure that if they haven't excused me by the time I've got the gear loaded into the car, I'm still invited back the next week. When you play with real pros, i.e., those who've played all their lives, majored in music in college, had their own jazz band in New Orleans, conduct symphonies, etc., I'm pretty much stretching it every week. Coming up on two years, though, and still hanging in there.
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