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Is there ever a nice way of doing this?
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Forums Archive -> The Vault: 2008 | Message format |
ozwatto |
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Joined: January 2007 Posts: 672 Location: New South Wales, Australia | Had to drop a guitarist from our band yesterday afternoon. He didn't take it too well but he just wasn't up to scratch. We've got a gig next week and he was making us sound even worse than what we are. For me, I find it hard to play in a band situation if I have to worry about the bloke next to me. Is he going to get it right, is he going to keep in time, etc etc. What experiences have others had, and is there ever a nice way of telling a fellow musician that he or she is out of the band? | ||
Weaser P |
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Joined: October 2005 Posts: 5327 Location: Cicero, NY | I don't think there's ever a great way to tell someone they're not "good enough" (and that, by the way, can be subjective - maybe they're good enough but just "not right") but, if they're not "fitting in", the discussion has to be had. I was in a band where the bass player was just plain awful and, despite his being a good friend of everyone, we had to move him out. I'm not sure who felt worse. | ||
Gallerinski |
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Joined: May 2008 Posts: 4996 Location: Phoenix AZ | I've had to do it a few times (and it's been done to me a few more times that that). Best not to say it's because he's "not good enough". Yeah that's open to interpretation. I just just go with stuff that can't be argued - you're out because you're polish, black, jewish, smell, gay, whatever. It'll sting for a moment, but the guy has no rebuttal other than to say "well, yeah I am and if you don't like it than I guess I don't belong here." That's it - swift and clean. If you say you've cut him because he wasn't good enough, he'll go on for months wondering "was I good enough or not? am I that bad?" You'll be second guessing as well. I know this sounds whack-o, but seriously it's the best way. Dave | ||
Weaser P |
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Joined: October 2005 Posts: 5327 Location: Cicero, NY | Am I alone here when I say it's amazing that he's still alive? | ||
cliff |
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Joined: March 2002 Posts: 14842 Location: NJ | it's th'JerseyWay. | ||
Joe Rotax |
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Joined: February 2008 Posts: 747 | Originally posted by Gallerinski: The other thing too is that if you tell someone they aren't good enough and can't play worth a toss they might get angry and bring a human rights action against you..lolIf you say you've cut him because he wasn't good enough, he'll go on for months wondering "was I good enough or not? am I that bad?" | ||
stephent28 |
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Joined: April 2004 Posts: 13303 Location: Latitude 39.56819, Longitude -105.080066 | Once again, Witko is a sage. | ||
guitarwannabee |
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Joined: January 2006 Posts: 1477 Location: Michigan | The hardest thing our band had to do was having to get rid of our drummer Pete Best.It wasnt because of a lack of talent it was he did not fit in with the personality of what the band was, so we brought in Ringo :p GWB :D | ||
gulfcoast |
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Joined: November 2004 Posts: 1330 Location: ms | We are phasing out a guy right now. Just taking it slow so no hurt feelings. | ||
TAFKAR |
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Joined: April 2008 Posts: 2985 Location: Sydney, Australia | You could use Gulfcoast's method. Gradually take him out of songs one by one "This song sounds better with just one guitar, how about you sit this one out" and then just do it with more and more songs. Stevie Nicks used to go and change clothes on songs that Fleetwood Mac didn't need her on. An Australian, Frankie J. Holden (Ol' 55) used to drink during the songs he wasn't needed on - made for an entertaining end to the evening. | ||
dobro |
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Joined: January 2006 Posts: 2120 Location: Chicago | I feel for ya.... If you have a "vision" and the others are just "strokin' it", busy with all sortsa a bullsh*t: you must speak the truth! It becomes obvious when the band is no longer a priority: excuses, wives, jobs, problems etc.... The good news is that if YOU are inspired, there will be comrades available to join and fight!! | ||
ozwatto |
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Joined: January 2007 Posts: 672 Location: New South Wales, Australia | Some good suggestions here, and Weaser, no..you're not alone :D I suppose us Aussies aren't always known for our diplomacy but when we're halfway through a song and the guy stops and says to me..."what's a C sharp minor?"...well, there's no easy way of letting him down gently. Who knows, we may have done him a favour and inspired him to go home and put some time into practising. | ||
Mark in Boise |
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Joined: March 2005 Posts: 12750 Location: Boise, Idaho | No one has ever invited me to join a band, nor ever agreed to play in the same room. So this is not a problem for me. | ||
flackster |
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Joined: September 2008 Posts: 757 Location: Melbourne Australia | Watto - do you have to find someone to replace him for your gig next weekend or will you do without and is he going to be there?? | ||
flackster |
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Joined: September 2008 Posts: 757 Location: Melbourne Australia | Hey watto - I can play a C#m - not very well but at least I know what it is :p | ||
muzza |
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Joined: August 2005 Posts: 3736 Location: Sunshine State, Australia | Hang on Oz. You've only got ONE guitarist in your band - YOU. Are you telling me that you're not good enough to play with yourself. (That doesn't sound quite right, but you know what I mean.) | ||
Losov |
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Joined: October 2008 Posts: 489 | Just have everybody else quit and form another band. | ||
dobro |
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Joined: January 2006 Posts: 2120 Location: Chicago | In the 90s I was in a jazz-rock band where the trumpet player forgot to show half the time. We began auditioning other guys. He got the point fast. | ||
ozwatto |
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Joined: January 2007 Posts: 672 Location: New South Wales, Australia | Originally posted by muzza: Some would say that I'm a master at playing with myself :eek: Hang on Oz. You've only got ONE guitarist in your band - YOU. Are you telling me that you're not good enough to play with yourself. (That doesn't sound quite right, but you know what I mean.) But we've been looking for another guitarist for the past six months..just to fill the gaps. This guy (a mate of the bass player) showed up a month ago and said he wanted to play with us. So we gave him the music and told him to learn it. He turned up 45 minutes late on Saturday, buggered around with his amp for another 15 and then went about demonstrating how much practise he HADN'T done. We have left the door open for him if he's willing to put a bit of time and effort into it...but he won't be playing with us on Saturday night. So you're right Muz..I am the only guitarist in the band. | ||
TAFKAR |
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Joined: April 2008 Posts: 2985 Location: Sydney, Australia | Originally posted by muzza: Great Muzz, another image* I didn't want that I have to get out of my head. Out damn you out! Are you telling me that you're not good enough to play with yourself. (*The last one was Iffy's ankle, pre-hospital) | ||
an4340 |
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Joined: May 2003 Posts: 4389 Location: Capital District, NY, USA Minor Outlying Islands | A friend of mine was in a band. The leader wrote all the music, but couldn't play worth sh@t. So the bass and keyboards told him, he sucked, that they were kicking him out, but that they they were going to continue playing his music. The band died. | ||
dobro |
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Joined: January 2006 Posts: 2120 Location: Chicago | Before I had the good fortune of meeting Jeff Burns on this site, I "autditioned" a bunch of guys, hoping to find a partner to do the stuff we do now. The one tune that really made a difference was "Mediterranean Sundance" (fast tempo). They never came back or called.... Too bad. | ||
fillhixx |
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Joined: November 2005 Posts: 4817 Location: Campbell River, British Columbia | Other possibilities; "We've decided to go in a different direction, you go that way..." "We want to play with other musicians..." "We've met someone else, more...well...you know.." Point at drummer; "He says it's either him or you and drummers are harder to find." Or, don't tell him when the practices are or the gigs. | ||
muzza |
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Joined: August 2005 Posts: 3736 Location: Sunshine State, Australia | Originally posted by fillhixx: Or, tell him where the practices are or the gigs, but not your practices or gigs.Or, don't tell him when the practices are or the gigs. | ||
ProfessorBB |
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Joined: January 2006 Posts: 5881 Location: Colorado Rocky Mountains | I figure that if they haven't excused me by the time I've got the gear loaded into the car, I'm still invited back the next week. When you play with real pros, i.e., those who've played all their lives, majored in music in college, had their own jazz band in New Orleans, conduct symphonies, etc., I'm pretty much stretching it every week. Coming up on two years, though, and still hanging in there. | ||
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