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Joined:
February 2005
Posts: 11840
Location: closely held secret | Early one day, a C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar. The bartender says: "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them.
After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and the G is out flat. An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.
Later, a D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second." Then an A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor.
Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims, "Get out, now. You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."
The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the next night in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender (who used to have a nice corporate job until his company downsized) says, "You're looking sharp tonight, come on in! This could be a major development." This proves to be the case, as the E-flat takes off the suit, and everything else, and stands there au natural.
Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he's under a rest.
The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.
On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.
The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so patrons, with the soprano out in the bathroom, and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest, and closes the bar. |
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January 2002
Posts: 14127
Location: 6 String Ranch | Genius. |
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September 2008
Posts: 757
Location: Melbourne Australia | I enjoyed that even though it is Tunesday down here :D |
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January 2007
Posts: 672
Location: New South Wales, Australia | All this took place in only ONE bar? :D |
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November 2005
Posts: 4817
Location: Campbell River, British Columbia | practice, practice. practice. |
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June 2006
Posts: 7307
Location: South of most, North of few | You're a sick man, John. Brilliant, but sick. |
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March 2005
Posts: 2791
Location: Atlanta, GA. | You forgot to mention that the bar was owned by a Capo in the Arpeggio (c)rhyme family! |
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September 2008
Posts: 757
Location: Melbourne Australia | Sounds like a Beat up to me...... |
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November 2006
Posts: 3969
| Farcking awesome :cool: |
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December 2003
Posts: 13984
Location: Upper Left USA | Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp staccato. |
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September 2008
Posts: 757
Location: Melbourne Australia | The chinese Triad paid an Impromptu visit with an Introduction to the bar tenor |
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Joined:
February 2005
Posts: 11840
Location: closely held secret | I wish I had written it, but honesty prevails. I just felt it was too good not to share.
As is this song by 10cc...
I bought a flat
Diminished responsibility
You're de ninth person to see
To be suspended in a seventh
Major catastrophe
It's a minor point but gee
Augmented by the sharpness of your
See what I'm going through
Ay to be with you
In a flat by the sea |
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December 2006
Posts: 6268
Location: Florida Central Gulf Coast | Did this occur at the Kaman Bar?  |
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Joined:
March 2008
Posts: 355
Location: Wichita, KS | What about the beat down of the down beat? I heard that there was a bird’s eyewitness, but case was thrown out on a technicality: The warrant was missing a key signature (and some say the judge was a retard). |
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Happy Punday
