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HEMORRIODS ARE KILLING ME

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   Forums Archive -> The Vault: 2006Message format
 
Jeff W.
Posted 2006-12-01 10:31 AM (#229323 - in reply to #229298)
Subject: Re: HEMORRIODS ARE KILLING ME


Joined:
November 2003
Posts: 11039

Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub
". . . . Paging, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard, Dr. Pep . . . ."
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Mark in Boise
Posted 2006-12-01 10:40 AM (#229324 - in reply to #229298)
Subject: Re: HEMORRIODS ARE KILLING ME


Joined:
March 2005
Posts: 12758

Location: Boise, Idaho
Thank you for not posting pictures.
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alpep
Posted 2006-12-01 10:54 AM (#229325 - in reply to #229298)
Subject: Re: HEMORRIODS ARE KILLING ME


Joined:
December 2001
Posts: 10582

Location: NJ
the alcohol content of robitussin was so much higher in the old days... not that I would know anything about that.
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JohnnyMac
Posted 2006-12-01 10:57 AM (#229326 - in reply to #229298)
Subject: Re: HEMORRIODS ARE KILLING ME


Joined:
February 2003
Posts: 99

Location: St. Petersburg, FL USA
MWoody is absolutely right - speed KILLS. Take a stack of reading material into the bathroom & never rush again.
Also, drink water - lots of it. This is crucial for the long term as well.

I think if you tell people you have "reasons" for not wanting to sit down they'll get the hint. I wish I had something funny to say about this, but I've been thru it too & it's no laughing matter...
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Jeff W.
Posted 2006-12-01 11:07 AM (#229327 - in reply to #229298)
Subject: Re: HEMORRIODS ARE KILLING ME


Joined:
November 2003
Posts: 11039

Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub
Originally posted by JohnnyMac:
I think if you tell people you have "reasons" for not wanting to sit down they'll get the hint.
You can just feel this one hanging out there in the air... waiting to get pounced on
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Waskel
Posted 2006-12-01 11:09 AM (#229328 - in reply to #229298)
Subject: Re: HEMORRIODS ARE KILLING ME



Joined:
February 2005
Posts: 11840

Location: closely held secret
Originally posted by Jeff W.:
You can just feel this one hanging out there in the air... waiting to get pounced on
Jeffy, you have such a way with words.
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Jeff W.
Posted 2006-12-01 11:30 AM (#229329 - in reply to #229298)
Subject: Re: HEMORRIODS ARE KILLING ME


Joined:
November 2003
Posts: 11039

Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub
;)
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fillhixx
Posted 2006-12-01 4:19 PM (#229330 - in reply to #229298)
Subject: Re: HEMORRIODS ARE KILLING ME



Joined:
November 2005
Posts: 4827

Location: Campbell River, British Columbia
What ever you do, don't let the cat see it! :eek:


(song selection for this thread, Killing Me Softly With His Thong!)
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Jeff W.
Posted 2006-12-01 4:34 PM (#229331 - in reply to #229298)
Subject: Re: HEMORRIODS ARE KILLING ME


Joined:
November 2003
Posts: 11039

Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub
There went my water...


(noooo, I was drinking it)
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guitarwannabee
Posted 2006-12-01 7:08 PM (#229332 - in reply to #229298)
Subject: Re: HEMORRIODS ARE KILLING ME


Joined:
January 2006
Posts: 1478

Location: Michigan
I am doing a correction on my H-ROIDS,
I went to the Dr. today and I have a bunch of INNIES not outies that are causing my problems plus IM NOT having any B.M.s. ( A RELEASE OF THE HOSTAGE )
I now have to put these bullet shaped things into my Virgin backwoods hole and they are not accepting them well.
They melt..
They pop out
There has to be a better way.
This is the latest update.
To Mark in Bosie, ( pictures live at 10:00 ) GWB
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FlicKreno aka Solid Top
Posted 2006-12-01 7:20 PM (#229333 - in reply to #229298)
Subject: Re: HEMORRIODS ARE KILLING ME


Joined:
April 2006
Posts: 2491

Location: Copenhagen Denmark
Now , Pastor BRAINSLAG..I do have a social life..and this is the " hang out " where I socialize.. :D ;)
:cool:
Vic
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cruster
Posted 2006-12-01 7:59 PM (#229334 - in reply to #229298)
Subject: Re: HEMORRIODS ARE KILLING ME


Joined:
May 2004
Posts: 2850

Location: Midland, MI
I'm sorry to report that the MidMichigan Contingent is 'roid free. Although I do have an ex-wife.
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alpep
Posted 2006-12-01 8:12 PM (#229335 - in reply to #229298)
Subject: Re: HEMORRIODS ARE KILLING ME


Joined:
December 2001
Posts: 10582

Location: NJ
i have one word for you


vegetables
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gulfcoast
Posted 2006-12-01 8:12 PM (#229336 - in reply to #229298)
Subject: Re: HEMORRIODS ARE KILLING ME


Joined:
November 2004
Posts: 1330

Location: ms
You have to use something to plug the hole to keep those bullets in! get creative...
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cruster
Posted 2006-12-01 8:16 PM (#229337 - in reply to #229298)
Subject: Re: HEMORRIODS ARE KILLING ME


Joined:
May 2004
Posts: 2850

Location: Midland, MI
Originally posted by alpep:
i have one word for you


vegetables
That's for the ex-wife?
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alpep
Posted 2006-12-01 8:30 PM (#229338 - in reply to #229298)
Subject: Re: HEMORRIODS ARE KILLING ME


Joined:
December 2001
Posts: 10582

Location: NJ
Originally posted by cruster:
Originally posted by alpep:
i have one word for you


vegetables
That's for the ex-wife?
no for guitarwannabe
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guitarwannabee
Posted 2006-12-01 8:35 PM (#229339 - in reply to #229298)
Subject: Re: HEMORRIODS ARE KILLING ME


Joined:
January 2006
Posts: 1478

Location: Michigan
Hey Al, I think I found out a use for those Ovation Air Locks that you sold me a few months back.I just have to pick the correct size out.Thanks.GWB
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cholloway
Posted 2006-12-02 4:20 AM (#229340 - in reply to #229298)
Subject: Re: HEMORRIODS ARE KILLING ME


Joined:
March 2005
Posts: 2791

Location: Atlanta, GA.
GWB, start with the smallest.

Everybody else, DON'T BUY ANY USED AIRLOCKS FROM GWB!!!

Haven't the Docs in MI heard of "banding"?
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Capo Guy
Posted 2006-12-02 8:01 AM (#229341 - in reply to #229298)
Subject: Re: HEMORRIODS ARE KILLING ME



Joined:
December 2004
Posts: 4394

Location: East Tennessee
Prune Juice? :confused: :D
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ignimbyte
Posted 2006-12-02 8:14 AM (#229342 - in reply to #229298)
Subject: Re: HEMORRIODS ARE KILLING ME


Joined:
July 2004
Posts: 812

Location: Hicksville, NY
Try taking some fiber. If you can't take the chalky like substance, take them in pill form. The "B.M. s" should be taking place at any time.

If it's more of an innie thing instead of an outie, check out Ana Mantle, and ask the doctor to prescribe it (hopefully, he/she has some samples too).
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Mark in Boise
Posted 2006-12-02 12:02 PM (#229343 - in reply to #229298)
Subject: Re: HEMORRIODS ARE KILLING ME


Joined:
March 2005
Posts: 12758

Location: Boise, Idaho
This is one topic that it's probably a good thing if you don't know what you're talking about.
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lanaki
Posted 2006-12-02 2:23 PM (#229344 - in reply to #229298)
Subject: Re: HEMORRIODS ARE KILLING ME


Joined:
October 2006
Posts: 5575

Location: big island
Not long ago, when I was doing a Bible study, I happened upon 1 Samuel, chapters 5-8, where the Philistines were struck with a plague of hemorrhoids ("emerods in their private parts") for mis-handling the Ark of the Covenant and worshipping their pagan god, Dagon. Not only were they afflicted, they then made golden images of their hemorrhoids as a reminder of their affliction! Too bad they didn't have those bullet shaped wax suppositories then!
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guitarwannabee
Posted 2006-12-02 3:43 PM (#229345 - in reply to #229298)
Subject: Re: HEMORRIODS ARE KILLING ME


Joined:
January 2006
Posts: 1478

Location: Michigan
I can barely walk today.Every move is pure torture. I am finding a comfortable spot and not moving until I have to MOVE something which will most likely kill me anyway.I cannot take pain killers for they plug you up so I have been in and out of the tub 4 times today with very little relief.It was nice hanging with you guys.
Please bury me me butt up so everybody will no what an asshole I was.GWB
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tdeej
Posted 2006-12-02 4:56 PM (#229346 - in reply to #229298)
Subject: Re: HEMORRIODS ARE KILLING ME


Joined:
November 2004
Posts: 286

Location: North Idaho
Sorry to hear your so uncomfortable. Many years ago, I popped a hemi while at work. Not having any prep-h and with unbelievable burning in my posterior, I went out in the machine shop and grabbed the first thing I found--a tube of very thick, black moly-lith multipurpose grease. Out of desperation, I made a hasty application and, to my surprise, got nearly instant relief. I've been fortunate not to have any flareups since, but my wife has used it since several times and thrown away the tucks and prep-h. I can't vouch for the safety, but it works. Note: You will have to throw away your shorts cause it sure don't wash out.
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willard
Posted 2006-12-02 5:22 PM (#229347 - in reply to #229298)
Subject: Re: HEMORRIODS ARE KILLING ME


Joined:
November 2002
Posts: 1300

Location: Madison, Wisconsin
I believe this forum has sunk to an all time low. I just hope there's nobody from the Acoustic Guitar board looking in. Vaginal warts anyone?
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