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Posts: 11840
Location: closely held secret | Originally posted by schroeder:
You know who you are. I wouldn't be so sure of that. |
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November 2004
Posts: 4413
| :D
Cleverest joke of the year. And there have been some good ones. |
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February 2004
Posts: 2487
| Pacing myself
Around Body
Five Large and Counting
Keeping up with Cliff
Never saw a thread I did not like!
I'd play guitar but it is too far away from my computer!
I might be using a lap top in the bathroom right now but here's my two cents.......... |
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February 2005
Posts: 11840
Location: closely held secret | Thanks, Schro... how about this one?
A redneck family from the hills was visiting the city and they were in a mall for the first time in their lives. The father and son were strolling around while the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, "Paw, what's at?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I dunno. I ain't never seen anything like that in my whole life, I ain't got no idea'r what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a large old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular number above the walls light up sequentially.
They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Then the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24 year-old blonde woman stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, "Boy......go git cha Momma". |
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November 2004
Posts: 4413
| A woman in her late twenties is sitting in a wine bar and gets talking to a very good looking guy her own age. They have a couple of drinks and she's thinking maybe this is THE guy for me. Not normally the type to get carried away, she realises she's never felt this way about a guy on first meeting.
They go back to his apartment for a nightcap and he shows her round - beautifully decorated, great art and when he shows her the bedroom she's amazed by his three long shelves of teddy bears. The bottom shelf has scores of small bears, the middle shelf dozens of middle sized bears and the top shelf half a dozen huge bears. She's touched by his willingness to show his feminine side and she marvels at how long he must have spent arranging them.
They have a couple more drinks and he takes her in his arms and kisses her. She responds more fully than ever before in her life. He sweeps her up into his arms and carries her to the bedroom. Once there they make love beyond her wildest imaginings. She finds herself responding to him with a passion and creativity that shocks her.
Later as they lay in a soft embrace she asks him "was I good?"
He smiles, strokes her cheek and says "Yes - help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf." |
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November 2003
Posts: 11039
Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | Carneys... give me the willies. |
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November 2004
Posts: 4413
| You're MY woman now..... |
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November 2003
Posts: 11039
Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | I don't like elevators either... |
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March 2002
Posts: 15680
Location: SoCal | Originally posted by Jeff W.:
I don't like elevators either... My Uncle Otis says that they are very safe.... |
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November 2003
Posts: 11039
Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | so does my Aunt Kona |
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November 2007
Posts: 42
Location: Battle Ground, WA. | Now wait a minute!!!! |
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November 2007
Posts: 42
Location: Battle Ground, WA. | If Ella Fitzgerald married Darth vader....
She'd be Ella Vader |
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November 2007
Posts: 42
Location: Battle Ground, WA. | This is what happened to the last people who made fun of elevators......
mmwwwwaaahhhhhhaaaaaahhhhaaaaaaa
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mKv1GITD14&feature=email |
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November 2007
Posts: 42
Location: Battle Ground, WA. | hey....
mmmwwwwaaaahhhaaaa (the quintessential evil laugh)could work as a name for Dave, especially while observing his mind control thread play out. |
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January 2005
Posts: 4903
Location: Phoenix AZ | Originally posted by schroeder:
You're MY woman now..... Very few here will get that one. Good one. |
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October 2005
Posts: 5332
Location: Bluffton, SC | I'm so sorry I missed the meat of this thread.
Well done. |
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July 2005
Posts: 1609
Location: Colorado | sorry - my bad takacollimartadamova |
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June 2003
Posts: 1792
Location: Rego Park, NY, | Sun Devil
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November 2005
Posts: 4833
Location: Campbell River, British Columbia | Dr. More-O |
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Posts: 15680
Location: SoCal | Weird-O? |
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Posts: 1017
Location: Budd Lake, NJ | TuppOvare
StanTupp
--Karen |
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Posts: 1180
Location: Vermont USA | Thefaceonthebarroomfloor
or
Thefaceonlyamothercouldlove |
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Posts: 3736
Location: Sunshine State, Australia | FactoryReconditionedUsername |
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Posts: 4413
| My vote goes to Weird-O. |
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January 2005
Posts: 4903
Location: Phoenix AZ | Some great ones. I'll let this run for a bit and then select the best 5-6 and put them in a poll. You guys are amazing. In terms of tongue-in-cheek appropriateness I still can't stop laughing at 'gallerina'.
Dave |
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New Name Suggestions for Standingovation, Tupperware, ...
