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Location: Florida | One day Sleeping Beauty is visiting her friends Tom Thumb and Quasimodo. She mentions that she believes she's the most pretty girl in the world. Tom says he must be the smallest person in the world. Quasimodo says he must be the ugliest person in the world.
So the three all go over to the Guiness Book of Records offices, and decide to see if thier claims are valid.
After a while Sleeping Beauty comes out, and says "Its true, I'm the prettiest girl in the world!"
A while later, Tom Thumb comes out and says "Its true! I'm the smallest person in the world!"
Finally Quasimodo comes out and says "Who the hell is Camilla Parker Bowles?" |
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Posts: 14842
Location: NJ | There was a recent cartoon where Prince Charles (and Camilla) are railing at his son for the whole Nazi costume thing . . .
(referring to the swastika), Charles asks "How can you go out in public wearing that hideous thing on your arm!??"
Harry looks at Camilla and says "I was gonna ask you the same thing, Dad . . " |
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Posts: 11039
Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | You guys are being pretty harsh...
To her credit, prior to Charles' Polo Match, it was heard remarked that she was the most fetching mount in the stable.
(and that's why I'll only do one show a night.) |
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Location: NJ | I'm just jealous that we don't have a big-earred, clueless, wooden-headed dimwit of a political leader over HERE to make jokes about . . . . |
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Location: Capital District, NY, USA Minor Outlying Islands | An immitation of the king to be:
Pip Pip Cherrio! Time to shag the nag now. Wot!
Wait a minute, speaking of political leaders, remember these bon mots:
I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully
and
We ought to make the pie higher.
I know I shouldn't post stuff like this because it attracts flies like ... but I couldn't resist.
All in good fun though.
PS I was wondering if the off topic lounge is going to come into being some day. I think there should be a strictly ovation section, then say a music section, then a no music no ovation area like this post. Just wondering. |
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Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | Cliff,
An agent looking to book you a gig at camp X-ray? |
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Posts: 1421
Location: Orange County, California | Hey!! Bill made it through the surgery OK.. oh wait, his political career is dead, Hmmmmm. |
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Location: closely held secret | Gosh, Cliff, we had one from 1992-2000, don't be greedy. Maybe you'll get another in '08. |
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Posts: 15682
Location: SoCal | Hey Cliff, I just bought the book "Bush Country -- How George W. Bush Became The First Great Leader of the 21st Century While Driving Liberals Insane" by John Podhoretz.
Wanna read it when I'm done? |
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Location: NJ | Sure.
Does it come WITH crayons? |
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Posts: 11039
Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | No. It's a pop-up |
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Posts: 14842
Location: NJ | Nice! |
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Location: closely held secret | No, no, no... the "pop-up" book was called "My Life"... |
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Posts: 4413
| well, he's supposed to be hung like a horse.... |
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Posts: 417
Location: Cicero, NY | If Bush is supposed to be hung like a horse, I have only one request - can I help? |
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Posts: 4413
| No, hung-like-a-horse is marrying looks-like-a-horse. Pay attention. |
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Posts: 11039
Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | Must...
keep...
from...
imagining...
Royal...
Honeee....moon.... |
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Posts: 14127
Location: 6 String Ranch | Ah yes, joke all we want but the real danger is warming up the broom for a fly at 08. God help us if that bitch gets in, then we'll all wish we still had these guys mentioned above to poke fun at.
serious question, why can't America find a decent, honest, smart, worldly, strong person with INTEGRITY to run? It wouldn't matter which party they were from, they'd win. |
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Location: Florida | Man Al, if it wasn't for that taste in fashion, you'd fit the ticket!
America the beautiful. Not the "Laund of Mauve" for the most part. |
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Posts: 100
Location: Warren, OH | CWK - it seems as if the very nature of the political process involves the sacrificing of your integrity to become a viable candidate. I've been voting for 20 years, and the last couple of elections have really left me disappointed. I really wanted to write in "None of the Above" on my last ballot.
Worse yet, with our media circus, any minor flaws are quickly exposed and exploited. I really wonder if any person can survive all the scrutiny unscathed. |
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Location: San Bernardino, California | "It is not that power corrupts, but rather that power attracts the easily corruptible" -Ben Franklin |
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Posts: 4413
| W2 - the answer is money. America is simply the most extreme case of the need for unbelievably large amounts of cash to get elected. It's the same all over Europe.
As long as such huge amounts have to be raised then the man of integrity is going to have to start selling it bit by bit to raise cash. Neither dairy farmers or arms manufacturers give something for nothing. Nor car makers nor banks.
The only way to stop this is for election funding to be paid for by the government. If it was coming out of your taxes you'd pretty soon put a ceiling on it. The playing field would be levelled up overnight and they might have to start on campaigning on politics instaed of personality.
This isn't a pop at America - things are just the same here, but not yet as extreme.
This idea is not new - it gets run out every election here, but depending which party is having the greatest success at fund-raising at the time, someone always opposes it.
And despite the great strengths of your political system, the downside of presidential politics is that it can be instantly reduced to nothing more than personalities. These days you have to be photogenic - no Churchill; physically fit - no Churchill, no Roosevelt; no drinking - no Chuchill; no interest in sex - no Kennedy; no atheists - no Churchill.
The list goes on and none of these things would stop you running the country - but who wants their life gone over with a fine toothcomb?
We all get the governments we deserve. |
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Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | Originally posted by schroeder:
We all get the governments we deserve. Too true. |
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Location: NJ | A lot of the problem stems from the likelyhood that viable candidates today are in the age-group now that they were youths in the 60's - a volatile, and contoversial period. The circumstances of the times did not produce an inordinate amount of "choirboys". Even the slightest hint of what's now perceived as a potential "skeleton" in your closet is deemed as political suicide. Personally, I could give two shits if a person got stoned and did whatever he did to get out of VietNam. If a candidate came up with the BALLS to admit his actions of his youth and then showed me his accomplishments SINCE, and then showed me a tangiable, viable plan or course-of-action, I'd consider him. The whole "Party" system is a rampant, ridiculous, joke of a MoneyMachine. It's pretty sad when you can A/B between a Presidential "debate" (yeah, right) and "American Idol" and not be able to tell the difference.
- I DO agree with you Bill about "the Witch". :rolleyes: |
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Location: Scotland | Bush got back in largely via the support of the Christian right wing over the smoke-screen issues of stem-cell research & gay marriage, while skirting the subjects of a totaly illegal war and the non-existance of Iraqi WMD. So America seems quite happy that queers can't have rights and medical science is castrated, but quite happy to allow Imperialism, warmongering & the bombing of innocents. And what makes me even more sick is that coward Blair kisses his ass. I fucking despair, I really do.
Now, lets talk about guitars so we don't all get pissed at each other. |
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OT: Some Brit humour
