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Posts: 1374
| As I was born in Staten Island, NY and raised in Ohio and Illinois and my Beloved was born in Tallahassee, FL and basically never got north of Georgia till we were married, we often get into yankee/rebel debates and observations...
this showed up in my mail from her today. thought it was kinda funny.
Only A Real Southerner Knows
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "have" them, you "PITCH" them.
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess." and we ain't given our secrets away to no Yankees.
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in: "Going to town, be back directly." The Cornish also know this secret, but they 'ain't tellin' either.
Even Southern babies know that "gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
Only a Southerner, both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do "queues," we do "lines"; and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!
In the South, 'y'all' is singular....'all y'all" is plural.
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go your own way.
To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by our Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a Second Language!
And last but certainly not least, for those that are NOT born Southern but have lived here for a long, long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't originally from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."
Bless your hearts, all y'all have a good 'un [blessed day)!
glenn |
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Posts: 3411
Location: GA USA | Originally posted by Amazingly-Detached..:
Only a Southerner, both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash. So much of this dead-on. It all made perfect sense to me, especially the parts about banana pudding and sweet milk. I would add to the above that a "Southern Gentleman" is one who takes his hat/cap off in a restaurant. Those who leave them on are rednecks.
My mom (rest her soul) was a REAL southern lady. She and my dad made sure I knew that I knew proper respect for ladies and true love for family. My immediate family has never had a divorce, going back generations. Sad that it can't be said of many.
ji |
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Posts: 14127
Location: 6 String Ranch | This is all true.
Southern children address elders as Sir and Mam and do it the rest of their lives.
Having lived both sides of "the line" i can say I like it much better below it. There's a lot to be learnt by livin down here. |
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Posts: 1900
| I'm still learning the difference between 'cantankerous' and 'persnickety'....Maybe if I use them in a sentence...
Tuning my 6-string can be a little persnickety, but tuning my 12-string can be downright cantankerous... |
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Posts: 2241
Location: Simpsonville, SC | Amazingly..it's nice to know that ya'll married to a girl from round these parts. My mother is a fine Southern Gal, born and raised in Columbia, SC and has the most pleasant southern drawl. I never noticed this, much to her chagrin, until I came home one night after a few beers. She wasn't much appreciative of my teasin.
I can relate to each point of your wife's note. (bless her soul).
Ya'll come on visit anytime, ya hear! We'll even pull out our Sunday's finest and lay out a spread for ya.
Jim :D |
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Posts: 2491
Location: Copenhagen Denmark | GREAT POST ...I really Enjoyed that :)
(I learn somethin`every day )
Thanks for Sharing !!
Vic :cool: |
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Posts: 13997
Location: Upper Left USA | That is good! This has been a good day.
I'm learning new things and the mountains are out! |
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November 2004
Posts: 1374
| and now for the flip side:
I googled this one up...
You Might Be a Yankee If . . .
The sound of Fran Drescher's voice doesn't bother you.
You've watched the movie Deliverance and you're afraid to go on a camping trip. Ever.
For breakfast, you'd rather have potatoes than grits.
You can name at least four hockey teams.
You don't know what a moon pie is.
You've never eaten okra.
You wonder why people in restaurants don't talk as loud as you do.
You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun & knife show.
You don't have any problems correctly pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce".
You've never had grain alcohol.
You are familiar with all the rules to Lacrosse.
You have no idea what a polecat is.
Whenever someone tells an off-color joke about farm animals, it goes over your head.
You've never had bangs.
You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.
You'd rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags.
You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.
You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.
You refer to two or more people as "you guys" instead of "y'all".
You think more money should go to important scientific research at our university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.
You prefer a bagel over a donut.
You don't know anyone with two first names (i.e. Joe Bob, Billy Bob,Kay Bob, Bob Bob, Sara Jane)
You get freaked out when strangers in public talk to you.
None of your fur coats are made with real fur.
You don't know what a Piggly-Wiggly is.
You think NASCAR stands for the North American Society for . . . (something)
You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.
Your idea of a perfect meal is "Lahbsta and Clam Chawdah".
You use the horn in your car more than once or twice a year.
Everything you know about the Civil War you learned watching TV.
You don't "reckon".
You're not "fixin" to do anything.
lot's of laughs and smiles this morning, and the sun's out here as well... looks like a....
BEACH/SURF-FISHING/"BIRD"-WATCHING DAY!!!
It's Spring Break Time Here!!!
Cowabunga!!!
Glenn |
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November 2004
Posts: 1374
| rules of thumb when surf-fishing in prime season:
Floppy Hat, Dark sunglasses, T-shirt on so ya don't scare em, and cargo shorts.
2 or 3 rods set up with lines out and tight to block/maneuver their path of travel.
live bait in aerated bucket, and all fresh catch must be kept live in a 5 gallon bucket so they can come look at it....
if nothing's biting make sure you pull a couple of tilapia out of your front pond or Oscars out of your Aquarium..
Bring your dog with you if allowed... better if dog knows how to fetch and likes the surf.
decent high megapixel digital camera optional.
Glenn |
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March 2005
Posts: 2793
Location: Atlanta, GA. | The pronunciation of "Worcestershire sauce" is not difficult once you know where the name came from... the South, of course!
Many years ago an old sharecropper had an exceptional 'bumper' crop come in.
Since he'd never had a steak dinner before, he decided to ride in to town and treat himself to one.
Back then it was just called "black sauce".
When his steak was served and the waitress placed the bottle on the table, he picked it up and asked "Whus dis 'chere sauce?"
True story... |
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Posts: 200
Location: Melbourne Fl. | Now if Glenn will only explain what a "trot" line is........... |
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Posts: 4833
Location: Campbell River, British Columbia | Worcestershire sauce, it's pronounced wooster. Like the town in England from which it hails. |
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Posts: 1380
Location: Central Oregon | MWoody "I'm learning new things and the mountains are out!"
You have to be from Oregon to understand that one. |
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Posts: 11840
Location: closely held secret | You got that right, Nils. |
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Posts: 13997
Location: Upper Left USA | I remember Wus-tah-sheer Saw-ss!
I also know that NorthWesterner's need at least four more settings between the heat and air conditioning settings in our SUV.
Same goes for the Wipers!
And the mountains ARE out today!
Good stuff! |
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Posts: 11039
Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | I was born and lived south of the Mason-Dixon in my formative years... before moving to Jersey. Now, I find my self back in the South...
Some of what's been said is true... but, I find a lot of So-Called, "Suthun Hospitality" is only on the surface... go a bit deeper and plenty of those "polite folks" get ugly... quick.
2 or 3 years ago, My friend handed me her Elementary School History book. She'd kept it all these years. She's my age or a bit older and went to school in NC. I couldn't believe what I was reading.... "War of Northern Aggression".... "Treachery of Ni**ers and Carpet Baggers". "The Noble Knights of the Ku Klux Klan"....on and on. I was dumbfounded that this was being taught in my life time... And there are still plenty of folks in these parts that hold on to that sh!t....
It's easy to romanticize the south, but it still has it's dark under belly. |
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Posts: 2491
Location: Copenhagen Denmark | When I was in TEXAS last time,in a souvenir shop,I saw a glass with markings on, from top to bottom,Cowpunchers-Cowboys-Cowgirls.and flush with the Bottom , -Yankees..I bought the glas,having a good laugh,but the eyes of the store attendants showed it was No laughing matter..People were Kind to Me,being a Foreigner,I was called a " Good Yank " in a way ,It`s like that overhere too though,People from Jutland are being Looked Down at ( formal belief has it that Cops are all from Jutland,for Who Else wants a Stupid job ) People from Copenhagen are Inconsiderate,and the List goes on... ;)
Vic :cool: |
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Posts: 4833
Location: Campbell River, British Columbia | Culturally, we all have our bigotries as 'we' are always going to agree with each other that we are better than 'them.' We practice it here as much as anyone. (though we are much more tolerant than the fans of any of those woodbox gits... :rolleyes: )
Because we're all still very tribal by nature and need some way to define and deliniate them from us.
I'm sure, for instance Jeff, that various 'Sowthrun Foaks' have more than a few pithy, and not completely untruthful, observations of cruelty and ignorance practiced by 'Nowthrunners.'
It's the nature of the beast and can only be reduced not elliminated. I find two beers make it better, 5 beer make it worse....it's all in the dosage :cool: |
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Posts: 11039
Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | Don't hear me saying, the South is culturally inferior than another geography (remember, I do choose to live here) ...we all, everywhere, have our cultural pitfalls.
I was simply remarking on my experience of the south... in addition to the "Politeness" that is commonly attributed to it. |
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Location: closely held secret | Slow down, Jeff, I'm confused by your post at the top of this page.
...you have a friend? |
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November 2003
Posts: 11039
Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | ...Ok .... Victim, I keep locked in a sound proof chamber behind a false wall...
You say, Tomato, I say, Tomahto... |
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Posts: 11840
Location: closely held secret | Ah, ok. Was there a cask of Amontillado involved? |
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Posts: 11039
Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | ....Poetentually |
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Posts: 4833
Location: Campbell River, British Columbia | Now cut that out!
This place is getting way to elite-ist if you're going to start referencing horror-ible poets.
What is that beating, beating, but why will you say that I am mad? |
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December 2004
Posts: 2150
Location: Orlando, FL | I'm not sure if Florida counts as the south anymore, we have so many transplanted northerners.
It's been my experience that you find a combination of nice people, jerks and bigots pretty much everywhere. But the pace down here is more relaxed and slower than other parts of the country. There are also people who will go out of their way to talk to you, even when you wish they wouldn't. Some of them are nice, some are just nuts! |
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OT: North vs South..
