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Location: cincinnati, ohio | Okay - we've all had them. What's the worst (or weirdest) gig you've ever played (maybe it's one and the same gig)? The one that makes you cringe or laugh (hopefully) when you think about it now? Maybe it was you, playing and singing one train wreck after another. Maybe it was the equipment - the bad cord that hummed all night, the pick up that kept cutting out. Maybe it was the venue - the redneck bar where things got out of control. Whatever the case, tell us about it.
Mine happened about eight years ago. I played a cozy little place in Colerain Township (can't remember the name - I think I've blocked it out; it's called Brewer's Pub now). Anyway, I went in to play on a Wednesday night. I play a mix of classic acoustic rock from the '60's to the '90's, and selected good acoustic songs from the last ten years. It always seems to go over well, and it did that night. I got a great crowd reaction; the owner was impressed and asked me to come back Saturday night. I thought, "Cool." It was a nice crowd, a mix of young professionals and older folks, they had a great stage, nice ambience. I looked forward to it.
Talk about Jekyll and Hyde (Bubba Hyde)!
When I came back Saturday, the place was transformed. Picture the redneck bar in "The Blues Brothers," only without the protective screen in front of the stage for when they start throwing things at you. The crowd was an eclectic (ha! ha!) mix of bikers and rednecks. There were cowboy hats, John Deere basball caps planted on heads of long, straggly hair, and Harley Davidson leathers. To begin with, the bikers didn't get along with the rednecks on principle. Add to that the fact that I didn't play the type of music ANYBODY wanted to hear...well, the atmosphere was tense and surly. I was getting dirty looks from the Good Ol' Boys playing pool. "Sumbitch don't even know any Merle Haggard!" A huge redneck who was knee-walking drunk and wearing a ten gallon hat like Hoss Cartwright (no joke!) staggered in front of the stage. He stood there swaying unsteadily and bellowed, "HEY, THAR, BIG OL' FAT GUY - PLAY SOME DAVID ALLEN COE!!!"
Then he passed out cold and fell backwards; the room kind of vibrated as he hit the floor.
I played "Please Come to Boston" for him (David Allen Coe wrote that :D ).
I decided to kick it up a notch and played Mellencamp's "Pink Houses" and Stephen Stills' "Love the One You're With" back to back. When I finished, the terrified manager came up to me, her eyes wide. "Can you play something uptempo?"
I stared at her and said, "Annie, that's about as uptempo as I get."
I finished my set, and Annie paid me for the whole night (bless her!) and we mutually agreed to call it a night.
As I was hauling out the last of my gear, one of the bikers decided it was time to crack one of the Good Ol' Boys over the head with a pool cue, and they were off and running. It was a classic brawl - a Good Ol' Boy came flying through a picture window in a shower of glass, got up and went back in through the broken window to rejoin the melee. I just threw the last of my stuff in the back seat and took off as the fight spilled out into the parking lot, and I turned out onto Springdale Road as several Colerain Township police cruisers tore into the driveway with lights flashing and sirens wailing. The police station - convieniently - is within sight of the bar.
What a night!
Anyway that's my worst (and weirdest) gig. How about yours? |
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Location: USA | The club i played was located literally feet from train tracks. I was in the middle of song when i heard a tremendous rumble as the building began to shake. I turned around in song and watched the train go directley by. It was pretty cool and actually spawned a song from the experience. |
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Location: cincinnati, ohio | Ha! That's great! Years ago (about 40 years ago, actually)the first band I ever played in (and we still play together from time to time) was playing in a converted train station in Loveland, Ohio, called "The Station" (how original! :D ). The tracks, of course, were about six feet behind us outside the back window. Only one train came by that night, but it was the timing of that train that struck us. It thundered by while we were playing a new song off a new album by a brand new group called Eagles.
The song?
"Train Leaves Here This Morning..."
There was also a place in Glendale called the "Trackside Deli" that had music on a rooftop patio. Now those trains ran back and forth all night - it was a busy line. And they'd invariably rumble past when I was playing a quiet ballad like "Fire and Rain."
"Fire and Rain and Trains." Trains are cool. |
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Location: Latitude 39.56819, Longitude -105.080066 | Was playing a gig on my 21st Birthday and we were the opening act for a group that some of you may remember called "Bubble Puppy". They had one hit song "Hot Smoke & Sassafras".
The gig was on the far end of town from where we all lived so about a 45 minute drive late at night.
Anyway, I was playing my Dan Armstrong short scale bass and we were into about the 4th or 5th song of a 10 song set when my string broke.
Never before and never since......
and of course, I did not have a spare set of strings cause for christsakes....IT'S A BASS!
Anyway, the other group wasn't there yet so I could not even bum his bass off of him. The set ended early....we did not get paid....and I felt really shitty for the group.....
Carried a spare set of bass strings from that point forward but in 30+ years have never needed them. |
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Location: Spain | Too many!
I once did a gig in a tourist bar in Portugal, where the owner kept coming up to me (mid song!) and saying "why don't you practise more the fucking guitar!!?
At least he had a drink for me in his hand each time.... |
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Location: Hot Springs, S.D. | I just played one the other night that was pretty strange, but a lot of fun. It was a 78 year old guy (Clarence) on accordion, me (Age 57) on banjo, and Maria (age 36) on guitar and vocals. We call ourselves "The Unlikely Trio".
We did everything from jazz to folk to country, but when we did "Orange Blossom Special" with Clarence taking the lead on accordion, we brought the house down. |
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Location: 6 String Ranch | I had a dream that I was playing at the Guthrie Center with all the Usual Suspects, but then I woke up, and with a hangover as well. |
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Location: Latitude 39.56819, Longitude -105.080066 | Did you say the Guthrie Center......
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Location: Boise, Idaho | Since I never had a gig, I'll defer to my brother, who was in bands on the West Coast for years. He thought he got his big chance when they got called to be in LA (from Portland) the next day to back up the Drifters. They made it and found out the Drifters only had one original member and none of them read music, so they just had to fake it.
My brother's a redhead and they had a redhead female lead singer. The Drifters didn't show for a gig in someplace like Watts and they were the only white guys in the bar. They played until the audience figured out the Drifters weren't coming and started getting rowdy. They kept going for awhile until it got dangerous and got out of there.
They did a couple gigs after that with the Drifters, but got stiffed on the last one. He had several other adventures for 8 years before he finally gave up the music biz. Still has his Rickenbacher bass, though. |
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Location: Chicago | Jeff and I went to Fox River three years ago to "play an evening festival in a local town." We ended up hostage in a lousy B&B. The "concert" was played acoustic on the edge of a ratty couch to an audience of ... our wives. The host did not so much as offer us a glass of water. He and his wife looked like homeless squatters who perhaps had a few bodies stashed here and there. Creepy and depressing. As I recall, we did play a great version of "Frevo Rasgado" that night:) |
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Location: Chicago | Or the gig that broke up the trio: Our drummer, Joe, invited us to play to a "concert" at an "inaugural university bash." The "university" turned out to be a glorified rest stop. The "college crowd" numbered about 15, mostly hangers-on and children. Our performance was doused by a fire truck that was trying to relieve the 100-degree heat. The "in-tbetween" music (courtesy Joe) was stale 70s prog rock that nobody knows or cares about. Total mismatch with what we were trying to play.... Joe was in a fever of paranoia at that gig and flew into a rage at mild-mannered Jeff for "ruining" his solo on "Take Five." We realized that an fragile acoustic duo does not need John Bonham with anger management issues.... |
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Location: 6 String Ranch | Yeah Stephent28, it looked just like that.....
but inside there were striped tables with a red stage.... |
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Location: NJ | amateurs
I will tell you my nightmare story when I find the time to type it |
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Location: Latitude 39.56819, Longitude -105.080066 | WOW BEAL......That was a vivid dream! Something like this I imagine...
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Location: The Great Pacific Northwest | I guess this falls under Weird...
It was in the mid 80's and I was playing bass in the 50's band. The gig was in Rock Hall, MD which for those that don't know... you go to the end of the earth... take a left... drive 200 miles and you're almost there....
The gig was upstairs in the firehouse. A large dance floor, all decked out, everyone dressed in 50's garb, bar, food and packed. This was going to be a fun night.
We set up, get introduced, and break into the first song. We sound good... sometimes you just know when it's going to be a good night. Song ends and we get applause... but no one is dancing, no additional noise. It was like an applause track you hear on tv. Everyone sitting at their tables, quiet while were playing... We play the next tune, and when it's done they erupt into applause and cheering... then sit down and quiet again. WTF???? There is a huge dance floor, this is a 50's DANCE PARTY... I repeat WTF???
I should note at this point, being a 50's band we really fed off the audience energy, or tried to. A lot of the banter was based on observations of the crowd and such, but with the lights, we could barely see the crowd as the tables were around this huge dance floor. We just knew they were just sitting there watching us sweat..
Finally 45 minutes are gone and we are in the green room feeling kindof, well... green..
All of a sudden the event coordinator bursts in all apologies. Apparently they have a tradition for these events that the crowd sits out the first set. It's out of appreciation of a band willing to drive to the end of the earth (and then some) to entertain them. For the first set, we get their undivided attention.
We initially thought this was just a polite was of saying we suck, which we didn't so it all just wasn't making sense.
We went out for the 2nd set, and when the lights came up, the dance floor was already full. It really was their tradition to sit out the first set and usually the bands do a shorter first set. That is of course if they know about this tradition.
The gig ended up going great and we ended playing an extra set at the end of the night because everyone was having so much fun. But, this had to be the weirdest gig for me ever. |
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Location: Colorado Rocky Mountains | Kunming, China. Springtime. Very early 90's. Our hosts were AK47 armed soldiers courtesy of the national government. The auditorium had no heat, nor any air circulation whatsoever. It was packed and every single member in the audience was chain smoking. We couldn't see squat and could hardly breathe with all the smoke. We still did a 90 minute show of singing and dancing with a significant amount of intermittent coughing and gagging. At least a third of our young performers were ill at the conclusion of the show, and I think six couldn't even finish it. The entire wardrobe needed to be cleaned to remove the fumes, but no such luck as there were still two weeks remaining on the tour.
I also recall another very awkward moment some years ago when our choral group, the Colorado Symphony Orchestra Chorus, was asked to sing the Alleluia Chorus from Handel's Messiah during the annual holiday lighting of Denver's City and County Building. At the very moment of the opening chord, which is huge, the mayor threw the light switch, the circuit shorted out and everything went totally dark. Of course, the accompanist's electric keyboard and the PA system was also knocked out, so we never got our initial pitch. Our 150 member chorus hit that first note with about 100 different pitches and it went downhill from there. Nobody could see the conductor and we couldn't really hear the other sections since it was outdoors and the PA monitors were out, so our rhythm was out of synch from the very start. Many of us sing the piece from memory, but at least a third couldn't see their scores, so they were lost. Worst rendition of the Alleluia Chorus I've ever heard, and I was part of the mess. Why we didn't quit after the first few measures I have no idea. That was the last time we appeared at the annual downtown Denver lighting ceremony. |
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Location: cincinnati, ohio | Man, these are all great stories! People can't make up stuff like this. Mr. Ovation's is sufficiently strange - "They sit out the first set as a courtesy to the band." But it feels like an insult. Yeah - that is weird.
But we keep going out to play because it's so much fun, and for every weird gig there are a dozen fun ones to make you forget the bad ones.
Keep 'em coming. I'm curious to see alpep's. :D |
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Location: NJ | it was the early 80's I was out of college and we were trying to take our band to the next level. none of us had jobs we played music all day and night borrowed money did odd jobs whatever it took to make the big time. we had some good songs maybe laughable at today's standards but we were all good musicians but just could not get a break.
the drummer lived in a house his parents bought for him and his wife. they married because lisa got preggers. the son was maybe 4 still in diapers and still not talking. the refrigerator would have a bottle of milk some ketchup maybe mustard and that was it. soon taking ketchup packets from the local fast food places replaced buying it. ever have ketchup soup? or ketcup juice? yum..... the kid would often eat roaches out of the ash tray. funny no money for food but plenty for cigs, pot and meth.
we got a fair amount of gigs but wanted to play J.C. Dobbs on south st. If you know Philly then you know south st and you know dobbs. robert hazard, the a's, ken kweeder, the hooters, george thorogood, all broke from that bar. it was our mecca.
for months we would go to the bar and beg for a gig. We gave them tape after tape, the lead singer slept with one of the bar maids, we begged and begged and finally got a date. on a MONDAY night. then we were bumped, rescheduled, bumped again, rescheduled, bumped again, rescheduled etc.over and over well finally ken kweeder was too drunk to do his monday night acoustic solo thing and we got the call. we begged all of our friends and fans to show up and we prepared for the gig.
at the time we had a revolving door of bass players. our favorite one learned slot machine mechanics and got a job on a love boat going to jamaica so he was out. we almost had a different bass player every week at rehearsal. finally we got a kid that was ok he had a p bass and an svt but he was only 17 that was a problem drinking age in jersey 18 but philly was 21 so we had to sneak him into the club.
the day of the gig the bass player was no where to be found. finally a few of us went to his house he was totally wasted his girl friend broke up with him and he wanted to commit suicide. we grabbed his bass and the svt forced him into the van but only after he managed to drop some acid.
the punk could not stand but we needed him. we had a quick meeting before the gig and it was decided the lead singer would play rhythm guitar (he was mildly competent) I would fill in the low notes on the guitar along with playing rhythm and lead. at that time i was the only person with a "pedal board" I used about 8 pedals and my job in the band was more of textures and soundscape than rhythm and lead. I was very influenced by fripp and other electronic music composers then, tangerine dream, gong, kraftwerk, eno etc.
we got onstage and I hung the bass player's bass on him turned his amp on and pulled the cable out of the svt. He never knew the difference. the bass was plugged in the amp on so it looked like he was playing.
we started to play. we had a pile of our friends there but then something magical happened. word got out on the street that there was this new cool band to catch at Dobb's soon it was packed, they called in the barmaid chick to take care of the extra customers then called in another bartender and opened up the upstairs. I never saw that many people there on a monday night.
We could do no wrong that night the crowd loved us we insured our spot in the dobb's line up and were flying high. well especially the bass player. but I digress.
so now it is time to pack up and leave. the hard assed booker comes up to us and hands us $200 additional dollars to the $100 they promised us gushing about what a great gig we had how good we were and how they want us back. I could not believe it our dreams were coming true.
the bass player now peaking rolled his 8 x 10 off the 4 ft high stage to a thunderous crash. management did not like this. I assigned one of the guys to take him outside and sit with him.
the drummer was on cloud nine and much to our surprise started to help us pack up. He mistakenly put the house mics into our bag. The sound guy told the manager we were ripping off the equipment and he come over and went ballistic. Now the conversation went you guys will NEVER play her again you will never play in philly again etc etc etc. we apologized over and over for the mistake but it was a done deal.
as I took the last pile of my gear out to my car, defeated I look over at the bass player who is now sitting in front of the closed store next to Dobb's. He looks like everything typical acid head in every bad movie you ever saw and is rubbing his eyes and holding his head in his hands suddenly he starts screaming. I go back into the bar to try to talk to the booker again but he would not have it.
I come out to a loud ringing bell. apparently the bass player flipped out and punched his fist through the plate glass window of the business next to the bar and now the alarm is going off and he is bleeding like crazy.
I yelled over to the drummer. He is your pal take care of him, I'm out of here before the cops come. cops did not seem to like me much in those days and I was not going to take any chances.
we went back to the bar a few days later and begged for another gig. well we were persona non gratis at this point and never got another gig with that band at that bar again.
I have several more stories like this |
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Posts: 616
Location: cincinnati, ohio | Originally posted by alpep:
I have several more stories like this ...and I hope you share them with us. A wasted bass player...usually it's the drummer.
Q: How can you tell if the stage is level?
A: The drummer is drooling out of both sides of his mouth. :D |
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Posts: 12761
Location: Boise, Idaho | Thanks Al. You've confirmed once again that I made the right choice by giving up my dream of being a rock star. My brother confirmed it many times over the 8 years he was in the business by calling me for advice on how to collect for breach of contract, drafting contracts (usually after he got stiffed by someone), insurance issues (or lack thereof) after someone rolled the van with all his equipment in it and, eventually, divorce. |
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Location: Colorado Rocky Mountains | Great story, Al, although I am sorry it ended as it did. My son plays in a well-respected garage band in San Diego and just today told me about another band with which they shared much of the same fan base. The bass player in this other band liked to do this stunt where he would swing his bass over his head and around his back a few times using the strap like a hula hoop, then end with it falling back in place and continuing with his bass licks. One night, in the middle of this stunt, the strap breaks and the bass goes flying into the audience, nailing a young 17 year old girl in the pit right in her face, knocking out teeth, breaking her jaw and a few more bones in her face, and requiring significant reconstructive facial and dental surgery. He said the venue shut down for good shortly thereafter. |
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Location: Colorado Rocky Mountains | Mark, I agree with your statement that there seems to be a lot of budding musicians not being paid in accordance with an executory contract. Our keyboardist just returned from a tour with another band where they played Austin City Limits, the Los Angeles County Fair and the House of Blues backing a relatively well-respected solo headliner who wrote them a check at the conclusion of the tour. The check bounced, the headliner has changed her telephone number, and they can't reach her. The amount was not insignificant. As Al reflected, it isn't only tough to break into the business, its tough to stay in it when you do find a good gig. |
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Posts: 616
Location: cincinnati, ohio | Originally posted by Mark in Boise:
Thanks Al. You've confirmed once again that I made the right choice by giving up my dream of being a rock star. My brother confirmed it many times over the 8 years he was in the business by calling me for advice on how to collect for breach of contract, drafting contracts (usually after he got stiffed by someone), insurance issues (or lack thereof) after someone rolled the van with all his equipment in it and, eventually, divorce. You don't have to give it up entirely, Mark - you just do it on a more laid back, less complicated level. Coffee houses, wineries, music clubs instead of arenas. And being an acoustic guitar slinger is a lot less stressful
Forty years ago my first band was on the verge of hitting the bigtime. It was the height of the James Taylor/CSN&Y/Eagles acoustic singer-songwriter craze. We fit right in; Warner Bros. put a contract on the table in front of us.
And we freaked out and then chickened out. To this day it's the biggest regret of my life.
Originally posted by Professor BB:
Great story, Al, although I am sorry it ended as it did. My son plays in a well-respected garage band in San Diego and just today told me about another band with which they shared much of the same fan base. The bass player in this other band liked to do this stunt where he would swing his bass over his head and around his back a few times using the strap like a hula hoop, then end with it falling back in place and continuing with his bass licks. One night, in the middle of this stunt, the strap breaks and the bass goes flying into the audience, nailing a young 17 year old girl in the pit right in her face, knocking out teeth, breaking her jaw and a few more bones in her face, and requiring significant reconstructive facial and dental surgery. He said the venue shut down for good shortly thereafter. Gahh! That's terrible, Prof. I wonder how many other horror stories there are like that? That's not the kind of thing parents would expect to have happen to their daughter when she goes to a concert. Man! |
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Location: Flahdaw | This is the most interesting thread in a LONG time... |
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Posts: 12761
Location: Boise, Idaho | Rick, I don't think I could do "laid back." I'd stress out too much and then screw up from lack of sleep.
I keep expecting dark bar to post a video of his performance in his infamous shirt. I looked for it, but I think it been banished from the internet along with OMA's half naked performance. Then of course there was Slipkid's cocoanut bra performance. There is plenty of photographic evidence in the archives of gigs that should have been embarassing to anyone of normal sensitivities, but those people apparently have no shame, or they don't think of those as "gigs". |
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OT: WHAT'S THE WORST (OR WEIRDEST) GIG YOU'VE EVER PLAYED?
