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November 2004
Posts: 4413
| Today is my 25th Wedding Anniversary which should be a reason for celebration, but it's clouded by the fact that my mother died last Thursday and her funeral is this coming Friday.
In the midst of life.....
This is several members who have lost a parent this year - I guess it's a sign that we're all getting older. Those of you that still have parents - enjoy them while you can. |
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March 2002
Posts: 15678
Location: SoCal | True words.....
Wish I was there, Schro', to toss a few back with you.. |
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December 2004
Posts: 4394
Location: East Tennessee | schroeder,
Sorry to hear of your loss. You'll always have her in your memories.
Happy 25th Anniversary. |
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February 2004
Posts: 1634
Location: Warren,Pa. | Did you and your wife get away like you planned? |
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November 2004
Posts: 4413
| We did - and luckily it was the week before my ma took a turn for the worse. We had a great time - would recommend Budapest to anyone looking for a great place to walk, eat and drink (Hungarian wines are wonderful). A fabulous city, despite the Russians best efforts at destroying it by neglect for 40 years. |
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June 2005
Posts: 231
Location: N.J. | schroeder,
Congrats on 25 years on hoping for another 25.
I am sorry to hear of your loss. I have been there {as you know} so if you feel the need to scream from across the pond I'm all ears. |
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February 2005
Posts: 11840
Location: closely held secret | Originally posted by bauerhillboy:
Did you and your wife get away like you planned? Despite the best efforts of Scotland Yard's finest... |
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September 2003
Posts: 171
Location: Indiana | Schroeder,
ditto on what has been said above. Just a week ago, I was thinking about dad and got a little down. Then, that night I started going through a box of old 45's I found after he died. Him and my grandparents had a small family owned diner when I was a kid that had a jukebox. On Sundays, I'd go out and help stock shelves, clean grease traps (fun job) and buff the floors. Dad would put some money in and we would listen to music as we worked. Those 45's came from that jukebox. In it I found an early Johnny Cash single on the Sun Records label, Chet Atkins-Boo Boo Stick Beat, Merle Travis-That Tennessee Beat, Jerry Reed...and so many others that I realize now were the roots for my love of the guitar. I ran to the attic to find the box my turntable came in (which I bought to play my old beatle albums on) and found the 45 adapter taped in side. I cleaned those records and played every one of them. I could feel dad smilin down and telling me not to give up the guitar because of an injured hand...do as cliff said...adapt...both to the injury...and life's many challenges in general. I realized then dad was still with me and always will be...as your mom will be with you. Mourn the loss...but also celebrate the life. You are in our thoughts, my friend...take care!
mark |
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September 2003
Posts: 9301
Location: south east Michigan | Happy Anniversary to Mr. & Mrs. Schroeder.
I'm sorry to hear about your Mum, Clive.
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I'm not trying trump anyone here but I have a philisophical point to make.
A couple months ago my Mother-In-Law passed the day before Good Friday. Eighteen years to the day that her husband died. The next day, Good Friday, we get the call that my 28 year old nephew and God-child, my brother's only son, died of complications from a common out-patient surgery. The funeral services were on the same day. I attended the first day of visitation for Pam's Mom, then caught a red eye down to Florida to be with my brother.
Two weeks ago my own Mothers health got to the point where she had to move into a nursing home.
Throw the OFC Tour into the middle of all that.
My point is....when things are "up" my world reaches from horizon to horizon and can encompass everything and everyone within that space. When the other side of life strikes it feels like the world stops just an 1/8 of an inch outside my own skin and that nothing will ever be joyful again.
In between these extremes lie the other 99.9% percent of daily life. Remembering those "other" days, the good and the bad can make today much more than just a date on the OFC calendar. However, I have had enough life lessons lately to last quite a while. |
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May 2004
Posts: 2850
Location: Midland, MI | PM sent, so you better check it, bub. |
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March 2005
Posts: 1421
Location: Orange County, California | Wow,
Good times and bad...
I knew about your anniversay Didn't know about your Mother, though. Celebrate her life. She "made you", and we all love you!! :D |
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June 2002
Posts: 863
Location: Central Florida | Schroeder,
I know all too well the bittersweet feeling of loosing a parent while in the midst of celebration. I lost both my parents (25 years apart) during the Christmas season. My mom died (when I was just 19) on December 27th, 1979, and my dad on new year's eve, 2004.
My dad was such a presence in my life for so long that in many ways, it seems like he's still here. But, every now and again I'll have one of those "reality-check" moments, when I realize I'll never again sit and watch a ball game with him, or pick up the phone and hear his voice on the other end. Those are sad moments, to be sure. But thankfully, I have the hope that comes with knowing that I will see him (and mom) again on the other side of Heaven. The sad moments come, but then they pass after a tear or two, and then the memories are sweet and pleasant once again. Cherish those memories and they will sustain you.
God bless you and your family... |
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November 2004
Posts: 1330
Location: ms | I lost my mother when i was 8 and my father when i was 11. I moved in with my grandmother but lost her at 14, been on my own since age 15. I lost alot early but i still think it can be just as hard if not harder to loose a parent when your older. When i was 5 my mother too ill to go out, ordered me a drum kit from sears. I had a 45 record player and a copy of " burning ring of fire' and some "Monkeys" to play along with. She tryed to make it normal. After she passed my father never got over her, he drank bad, but helt a powerful state goverment job and finished law school at the same time.He passed on a love for music and motorcycles, i think you never complety get over the loss. I just try to remember the good and learn from the bad. Sunday was 18 years for me and my wife, we have 3 kids life still stings sometimes but mostly i`m blessed, just have to remind myself of it daily. |
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February 2006
Posts: 60
Location: Berkeley, CA | This weekend my extended family is having a reunion / 50th wedding anniversary. The one that's putting the whole thing together (really, the one who tends to keep the family in touch) has been fighting breast cancer for a while, and she's taken a beating with her treatment. Between her battle, and the age of some of the other relatives... I'm sensing a quiet, bittersweet understanding that this is the last time everybody's gonna be together. But you never know, it may not be. |
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July 2004
Posts: 474
Location: Anchorage, Alaska | If I could see through the tears in my eyes I could write more. Like what has already been said, "enjoy them while you can" and celebrate the good times when they are gone but they will always be with you... |
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March 2002
Posts: 15678
Location: SoCal | My dad's mother was the great matriarch of the family. She died 1976 and we all flew in from around the country for her service and then a gathering at my folks house. We cried at the service but the laughter started at my folks house, telling stories about her and the family. That's the way to be remembered.
I've got two funerals to go to in the next couple of weeks. I hate them.
When I go, I've got instructions to have a bagpipper play Amazing Grace at the service (only way to get people to cry when I die) and to have unlimited margaritas served at the party afterwards (only way to get people to stay).
When my father in law died, nobody mourned him much. He had alienated most of the family and at his graveside service, all the priest could do was to talk about his successes in business, not about who he was as a person. I later told my folks who were there that when I die, I don't want to priest to talk about business. Just say "He loved his family and did the best he could by them, and in return, they at least tolerated him". I don't think you can ask for more in life. |
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March 2005
Posts: 12759
Location: Boise, Idaho | Everything I could say has already been well said by several. It all comes down to family. |
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December 2004
Posts: 370
Location: Isle of Man, UK | I'm with Mark - it's all been said here.
Schro - have a good anniversary, sir, and all the best for another 25 for you and your good lady.
Laughter and tears are the best way to remember. I'm sure there will be plenty for you, and the collective Clan Schroeder to come. I will raise you a cup of tea tonight, and again on Friday for you (I don't do stronger than tea...)
We're with you, matey.
JB |
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Joined:
December 2004
Posts: 370
Location: Isle of Man, UK | Originally posted by jb:
I'm with Mark - it's all been said here.
Schro - have a good anniversary, sir, and all the best for another 25 for you and your good lady.
Laughter and tears are the best way to remember. I'm sure there will be plenty for you, and the collective Clan Schroeder to come. I will raise you a cup of tea tonight, and again on Friday for you (I don't do stronger than tea...)
We're with you, matey.
JB |
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Joined:
November 2004
Posts: 4413
| Thank you all for congratulations and commiserations - I should have made it clear that this was a happy release for my mum and she's lived/existed the last 5 years in a state that she would never have chosen.
I wrote because like everybody else I thought my parents were invincible as I grew up - it never occurred to me that one day they would be gone. I used to say to my dad "leave me your greenhouse in your will" but never put the idea together with him actually dying. And then it happened - but my mum was always a fraction of his size but 10 times tougher (girls are like that if you hadn't noticed) and I just assumed she would be with us forever. It was absolutely heartbreaking when her mind left us years before her body did. For my sister, brother and me all that died last Thursday was her body - we'd said our goodbyes a long time ago.
Our loss has been gradual and therefore easier to deal with - I was just reminding those with healthy happy parents to make sure they enjoy their company. It is true - nothing is forever. |
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November 2005
Posts: 4832
Location: Campbell River, British Columbia | Schreder; sorry for your loss. Had a friend go though that with his mom not that long ago. It's tough on a family.
But the good endures. |
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November 2003
Posts: 11039
Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | hey Schro ...you know...
Can't wait to see the Mrs. |
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April 2003
Posts: 2503
Location: Fayetteville, NC | Schroeder;
I'm really sorry about your loss. Just want you to know i'm thinking about you.
in the midst of loss there is still much to celebrate.. You have life and a family that really loves you. Plus 25 years with a wonderful wife.Like moody, Wish i could be there to knock back a few with you. I agree with you by the way, My dad still is in in Intensive care after a 10and a half hour heart surgury on june 2nd. they have been unable as of yet to get him off the respirator.I cherish each and every moment i can spend with my dad and my mom too. they are not invincible though like you said, we'd like to belive they are. thanks for the reminder. |
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July 2004
Posts: 812
Location: Hicksville, NY | Sorry about your loss Schroeder, but at the same time, I'd like to congratulate you and your wife's 25th anniversary.
Thank you also for reminding me ... you're absolute right that life is too short to dwell with such negative things about the family. With Father's Day just around the corner, I'll be giving him a call and reconcile our differences, even if it's just for the moment ...
My wife and I just celebrated our 7th year anniversary yesterday, but this time we didn't do much. She had a surgical procedure performed last week that resulted with some complications during the process. She's doing alright but recovering very slowly, that I asked her to give herself (at least) one more week to rest and recuperate. |
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June 2004
Posts: 580
Location: NW NJ | Schroeder:
Thanks for the reminder my friend. You just helped me decide to go to Virginia and hang out with my elderly parents for a while. It is just too easy to let life and other "good things" get in the way. Guilty as charged. |
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Ups and downs - that's life
