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June 2002
Posts: 6202
Location: Phoenix AZ | To all my fellow members of the male species - Reminder that Monday is Valentine's Day! And, with very few rare exceptions, bringing a new guitar (or ukulele) into the house and trying to call it a "Valentine's present" isn't going to go over real well. Trust me on this - I know of what I speak. In hind sight, I would have gotten less grief if I gave her a vacuum cleaner.
Rule of thumb: Roses and Jewelry = GOOD, Guitars and sporting goods equipment = BAD. |
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Joined:
January 2004
Posts: 1225
Location: Lake Hiawatha, New Jersey | I think you can get away with it.
Would go something like this:
"Honey, look I bought a new guitar for you"!!!
"I DON'T WANT IT"
"Then can I have it?"
Then it's off the hospital to have the guitar removed from where ever it may have ended up.
On second thought, you're right. Probably a bad idea. |
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Joined:
February 2005
Posts: 36
Location: There's no place like 127.0.0.1 | Now, wait a minute. Hasn't your wife ever said, "If it makes you happy, it makes me happy"? |
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Joined:
April 2004
Posts: 13303
Location: Latitude 39.56819, Longitude -105.080066 | Yeah but that is usually in reply to me placing a piece of jewelery around her neck.
Her: Do you like it?
Him: It looks wonderful
Her: Well, I guess you can buy it for me if it makes you happy! |
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Joined:
March 2002
Posts: 14842
Location: NJ | If anyone's SignificantOther is "into" Roses, a bit of "information" before making what CAN be a fairly significant purchase:
Don't be swayed by the term "Long Stem" Roses.
Growers "grade" different varieties by stem length (in centimeters), and charge accordingly, but just because you're paying more for a longer stem, it doesn't neccesarily mean you're paying for a better rose.
You guys in California'll have a bit of an advantage, as there's some decent locally-grown varieties that you could probably get at a decent price. Everyone else'll probably be looking at stuff that's either being flown-in from California or SouthAmerica (predominantly Ecuador and Colombia . . . some Mexico, but not a lot of roses). A name to watch-out for is "Visa". South American Visa's are crap. They're usually the one's you see for sale at gas stations. They "look" fairly impressive when you first get 'em, as they have big, tight, bullet shaped heads and long straight stems that can be gotten up to 75-100cm's. (we used to call 'em "walking sticks"), but if they're not handled correctly, they usually just keel over at the head or "open" like crap (or both), and don't last. If somebody's offering SA Visa's at $40-50/doz. . . . pass.
It's been a while, and I've forgotten a lot of the varieties, but "AmericanBeauty's" (naturally) and Madame Delbar's are nice varieties that open nicely and (when handled correctly) last a long time.
Try to order 'em in person, ask questions, and appear "picky". You tend to get treated with a better degree of service. If you just pick up the phone with credit card in hand, you're just another faceless order to be filled during a frantic holiday.
You can also possibly get a good deal by going with something other than red. A lot of growers/wholesalers will offer florists really good deals on other varieties/colors because there's so much of a demand for the red ones. One of my personal favorites is a variety called "Lavania" which is a deep lavender color that opens nice, lasts a long time, and actually SMELLS really good (a lot of roses don't even really "smell"). Another one is "Sterling" that has a light lavender/almost "silver-ish" color. These are usually used alot in wedding bouquets and are pretty expensive in the Spring/Summer, so you might find some deals this time of year.
Just DON'T buy 'em from the supermarket!
This is a floral holiday that's a logistical nightmare, so the ONE inexperienced, overworked dweeb that's stuck manning the floral counter isn't gonna have time to properly handle/condition the incoming roses, so they'll endup getting yanked out of the box and dumped into a big bucket of water. Your money would be better spent buying you wife a pound of balogna and some Kraft cheese slices . . .
When all else fails"
. . . . "Lingerie". ;)
(Does Ovation make a crotchless mando??) |
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Joined:
January 2004
Posts: 1225
Location: Lake Hiawatha, New Jersey | "When all else fails"
. . . . "Lingerie"."
I don't know Cliff. Do you think that you have the body for it??
:confused: |
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August 2002
Posts: 623
Location: Lake Hiawatha, New Jersey | You da man, Cliff. Thanks for the info! |
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March 2002
Posts: 14842
Location: NJ | " . . I don't know Cliff. Do you think that you have the body for it?? . . ."
No. But Templeman does. |
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Joined:
September 2003
Posts: 9301
Location: south east Michigan | My wife told me yesterday about this orphan dog she has become aware of. yikes....big yikes.
The last thing we need right now is a second dog. Now I am reminded that Valentines is upon us. This will compound the issue.
Now I don't want to get off on a rant here but this Valentines day thing has become more one sided than a sing off between Shania Twain and Yoko Ono. I like to think of myself as a guy who is conciderate and loving the other 364 days of of the year. Yet no matter how high that bar be set, on Febuary 14th I have to distinguish myself with a nitrious like surge of adoration. Over the years I have fought the system by paying homage a few days before it arrives on the calender. I tell my wife that this demonstrates that my love does not have to wait for an arbritary date decided on by the greeting card political action committee. And besides...the resturants are a lot less crowded. In conclusion, yes...there are 4 guitars and a uke on display in our living room. But when I set my Breadwinner in the corner and say "STAY"...by God it stays there till I say otherwise. My guitars never shed or bring mud into the house. And lastly...how can I take my wife on a romantic get-away weekend in Connecticut (on June 17th) when we have to worry about just who is going to watch the dogs?!?!? |
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Joined:
July 2003
Posts: 1922
Location: Canton (Detroit), MI | Brad, now THERE is a mental picture I am going to enjoy for a long time.....a sing-off between Shania Twain and Yoko Ono..... :D
The Valentine's Day bar is only set as high as your wife demands it. Luckily, my wife understands that the other 364 days are just as important as that one.
Roger |
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Joined:
November 2003
Posts: 11039
Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | Got the Loophole here fellas...
When you bring that new guitar home on Feb 14, Tell her you wrote a song for her that sounds really wonderful on this guitar. I suggest that you write your own tune, or pick a very obscure one penned by someone else...and I would stay away from titles such as, "I'm Your Backdoor Man." :eek: |
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Joined:
June 2002
Posts: 6202
Location: Phoenix AZ | An orphen dog wearing lingerie holding a long stem rose in his snout. That should hold here attention while I sneak by with a guitar case under my arm. Dave |
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Joined:
July 2003
Posts: 1922
Location: Canton (Detroit), MI | Yes, it should...she'll die laughing..... :D
Roger |
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Joined:
May 2004
Posts: 2850
Location: Midland, MI | Hrmm, new song == new guitar. I like it. Let's see if this'll work:
I've been wanting a jazzbox. She actually *likes* the chord-melody treatment of Blue Bossa I've mangled, er, managed to work up. Sounds good on the Elite, ok on the electrics...what I *need* is a jazzbox so I can play it properly for her on the big day!
By golly, yes! Yes! YES! I think that's going to work! Now, where's Al's phone number...wonder if he still has that Artist laying around...
You guys are the best! :) |
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November 2004
Posts: 4413
| So what you're saying is that I should have the chain saw gift-wrapped? |
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March 2002
Posts: 14842
Location: NJ | . . and remove the spark plug. |
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May 2003
Posts: 4389
Location: Capital District, NY, USA Minor Outlying Islands | One thing fellas. Don't do this:
She: Do you think this makes me look fat? :)
He: (Don't say anything that signifies anything near agreement, even if you think it is a compliment, like : ) "wow, you look just like your sisters." :eek:
She: :mad:
The guy who said this, didn't realize what he had said until the words had actually left his mouth. :confused: Why did he do this? A moment of weakness? He was tired? Someone from another dimension made him say it like he was robot? It doesn't matter. It happened in real life, it was not a commercial.
When asked that question disagree with her, because your life depends on it.
Yes, flowers bought in person are good, really good. A new guitar, bad, really bad. If you are planning on bringing home a new guitar for a week before or after valentines, keep it at your office. |
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Joined:
August 2003
Posts: 4619
Location: SoCal | Just had our 36th anniversary on the 8th - she insisted that her present to me was the 2005 Collectors.
Heck, gals can give guys a Valentine gift - Al has a ruby red Adamas SMT??? |
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Joined:
June 2003
Posts: 1792
Location: Rego Park, NY, | Hey Standing O try this.
1-Come home holding a NEW OHSC in your hand.
2-Wait for her reaction.
3-Open the OHSC.
4-Take out the dozen roses and chocolates.
5-receive hugs and kisses.
6-Explain to to her that even though you just
bought an brand new Ovation, you wanted to make sure that her flowers and chocolates arrive safely home. Therefore you left the new Ovation in the car and will get it after she shows you how much she loves her Valentines Day present :rolleyes: ;) :D |
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Joined:
November 2002
Posts: 3666
Location: Pacific Northwest Inland Empire | Thin, but valiant. You're still sleepin' with the fishes. I like the prior idea- play it at the office for a month. |
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Joined:
February 2005
Posts: 36
Location: There's no place like 127.0.0.1 | Better to play it at the office than to have to sleep there.... ;) |
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Joined:
November 2004
Posts: 4413
| of course if you buy her a chain-saw this year, next year the mandocello/collectors/viper is going to be such an improvement.... that is of course if you're still alive next year - or even next week.
Tony - 36 years and she still buys you guitars? I suggest you come down off the fence and decide to keep her. |
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Joined:
December 2001
Posts: 10583
Location: NJ | two things I have learned
first
always buy roses for VD day.
second
no matter how horrible never say "don't you ever feed me crap like this again" |
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Joined:
July 2002
Posts: 280
Location: Waterloo, IL | alpep two things I have learned
first
always buy roses for VD day.
second
no matter how horrible never say "don't you ever feed me crap like this again"
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First - She's allergic to flowers.
Second - Never tell her how bad the food is until after she has tasted it and tells you how bad it is.
Third - Never, ever, forget the card.
:p |
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Joined:
May 2004
Posts: 2850
Location: Midland, MI | I read the following somewhere today (sorry, can't remember where):
100% of marriages end in either death or divorce.
So, I guess it's just a matter of timing.
;) |
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