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February 2005
Posts: 11840
Location: closely held secret | How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ...
another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct
19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a light bulb forum
11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum
36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty
5 People to post pics of their own light bulbs
15 People to post "I can't see S$%^!" and their own light bulbs
7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs
4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's
13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"
5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
13 to say "do a search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"
1 to bring politics into the discussion.
4 more to get into personal attacks over their political views.
1 moderator to lock the light bulb thread.
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again. |
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April 2004
Posts: 13303
Location: Latitude 39.56819, Longitude -105.080066 | I think I have a dim bulb :eek: |
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Joined:
April 2004
Posts: 13303
Location: Latitude 39.56819, Longitude -105.080066 | or maybe I am a dimbulb :rolleyes: |
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February 2005
Posts: 11840
Location: closely held secret | Well, you certainly don't know much about Hawaii... |
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January 2002
Posts: 14127
Location: 6 String Ranch | There's a light
That shines on me
Sometimes so bright
That I can't see
Sometimes it's dim
And not so strong
But I'm OK
Long as that light's still on. |
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April 2004
Posts: 13303
Location: Latitude 39.56819, Longitude -105.080066 | "insert slide break"
verse 2 |
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July 2002
Posts: 1900
| ...We're just waiting for the tooth fairy to get permission from the easter bunny so we can begin our investigation of alice, whenever she gets back from wonderland, so until then we will all just put our heads back in the sand and trust our uncle sam to take care of us...
-OFFICIAL RESPONSE FROM THE 911 COMMISSION |
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November 2003
Posts: 11039
Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | This has been posted before |
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February 2005
Posts: 11840
Location: closely held secret | Tried it, Jeff. Gave up after the first three (which I've already heard). |
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January 2007
Posts: 672
Location: New South Wales, Australia | Many hands make light work |
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January 2006
Posts: 5881
Location: Colorado Rocky Mountains | Thanks, Waskel. This makes my day. |
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January 2006
Posts: 1132
Location: NW Washington State | Sometimes the lights all shining on me
Other times I can barely see
Lately it occurs to me
What a long strange trip it's been |
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October 2006
Posts: 5576
Location: big island | Originally posted by The Wabbit Formerly Known As Waskel:
Well, you certainly don't know much about Hawaii... he does now :D |
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April 2004
Posts: 13303
Location: Latitude 39.56819, Longitude -105.080066 | Yes indeedy :cool: |
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Joined:
October 2006
Posts: 5576
Location: big island | this is a funny hair removal story as told by the lady...
All hair removal methods have tricked women with
their promises of easy, painless removal - The
epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax.
My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come
home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom.
It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a
clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together
in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out.
So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax," yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.
With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the one strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my *hoo-hoo* and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!!
I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!...OH MY
GOD!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've
only managed to pull off half the strip. OH NO! What have I done???!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP!! Everything is swirly and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal.
I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair???
WHERE IS THE WAX???
Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on
the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. WHAT?! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair.
Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. My LIFE FLASHES BEFORE ME!!!!!! I hear the slamming of a cell door. *hoo-hoo*? Sealed shut! Butt?? Sealed shut!
I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!" What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??? WRONG!!!!!!!
I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipments - I sit.
Now, the only thing worse than having your nether
regions glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.
So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!!
God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!
I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed
before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter - "So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!"
There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hoo-ha?"
She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I
should be the joke of someone else's night.
While we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!
By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.
My friend is still talking with me when I finally
see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to
remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!!
The scream probably woke the kids and scared the
dickens out of my friend.
It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works!!" I get a hearty congratulations
from my friend and she hangs up.
I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!
So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.
Next week I'm going to try hair color.....Now that's funny . Notttttttttt. |
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April 2006
Posts: 2491
Location: Copenhagen Denmark | But did She change the Lightthingie ..or could She not see the Light through the Dusk at Dawn.. :confused:
Vic :cool: |
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January 2006
Posts: 387
Location: Whitecourt, Ab | How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but it really has to want to change |
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December 2003
Posts: 13997
Location: Upper Left USA | Re: "Waskels light bulb paradigm"
1
14
7
66
2
15
19
11
36
515
7
4
13
5
4
13
1
4
1
1
____+
201... We are Legion!! |
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March 2004
Posts: 629
Location: Houston, Texas | I've been known to change a few. |
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December 2004
Posts: 370
Location: Isle of Man, UK | How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
None - the keyboard player just does it with his left hand.
How many Actors does it take to change a light bulb?
Seven - one to do it, and six to stand around the ladder and say "It should be me up there, dahling".
How many hair-rock lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
Five - one to do it, and four to stand around in a huddle saying "I could do that if I wanted to."
How many Manxmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. We fear change.
Than' you ver' much. I'll be here all week - try the steak.
Apologies to any inadvertantly offended Bass players, Keyboard players, Actors, guitarists who say "I could do that if I wanted", or Manxmen. It's all meant in jest.
JB |
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August 2005
Posts: 3736
Location: Sunshine State, Australia | OK, seeing we're on the topic of 'light'...
Q) What's the difference between 'light' and 'hard' :confused: ??? |
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Joined:
August 2005
Posts: 3736
Location: Sunshine State, Australia | Originally posted by muzza:
Q) What's the difference between 'light' and 'hard' :confused: ??? A) You CAN sleep with a light on. :D |
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October 2006
Posts: 5576
Location: big island | muzza,
is the light on down under? is that why you and richardd are awake posting on the OFC at the same time?
i cannot sleep with a light on. it's almost midnight here and my wife is across from me doing her college homework. think i'll ask her the question you posed and see what... |
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Joined:
August 2005
Posts: 3736
Location: Sunshine State, Australia | Maybe I should re-phrase it to say "it is POSSIBLE to sleep with a light on"? |
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December 2003
Posts: 13997
Location: Upper Left USA | Did you hear about the "_________" that locked his keys in his car?
He had to use a coat hanger to get his wife and kids out... |
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OT- Joke Of The Day
