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January 2006
Posts: 1478
Location: Michigan | Since you have a great post going on nose & ear hairs I have an issue with a very SORE HEMORROID at the moment.
I am in severe pain just to sit down and try to get back up.I have to be on my feet most of the day so I am walking a little funny and I am tired of lying to people who ask what is wrong with you and telling them that my back went out.How can I tell someone that I have a HEMORRIOD that is angry at me and is hanging down to my ankles???
Can you guys relate???
What would be the proper way to tell someone that you are having HEMORRIOD problems???
Have anyone of you experienced HEMORRIODS.
To make this a legitimate post I am thinking of using my Adamas high E-string to rip the sucker out.
I am trying to drown out the pain with a Whiskey bottle.GWB |
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July 2005
Posts: 3410
Location: GA USA | Don't believe I'd have told that one, bro. |
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December 2004
Posts: 4394
Location: East Tennessee | HEMORRHOIDS.
They are a pain in the ass. :D
At least you're not on the nightly news.
I remember when Jimmy Carter,(AKA Howdy Doody) was president and he had hemorrhoids. It was all over the 6:00 news. |
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January 2004
Posts: 627
Location: Cherry Hill, NJ | Be careful, the whiskey bottle may inflame the hemorrhoid even more. |
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December 2003
Posts: 13987
Location: Upper Left USA | I may regret this but it would be wrong not to try and help out an OFC'er in dire need. I learned a lot from the post pregnancies of my first wife.
Warm baths and those pads called "Tucks". They are no more than cotton facial pads soaked in the non-alcohol Witch Hazel. Soak one and tuck it between the cheek and, er, other cheek. It is an astringent that will aid in the shrinking of blood vessels.
That and next time you go to have a movement bring a copy of "The Book" or a Stewmac catalog and "T-A-K-E I-T S-L-O-W"!
You can thank me later. :) |
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August 2002
Posts: 8307
Location: Tennessee | Well, OK then. I think you've just figured out what it's like to have PMS.
Tommy, I do believe GWB was putting the whiskey bottle to his lips and letting it do it's work in the normal fashion, as opposed to using the bottle as a direct analgesic. |
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Joined:
January 2006
Posts: 1478
Location: Michigan | 5120 members and I am the only one with Hemorriods !!! BullS*^T
Its time to come out of the closet OFCers...GWB |
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January 2003
Posts: 1498
Location: San Bernardino, California | Tip: Don't eat popcorn when you have hemorroids. |
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December 2003
Posts: 13987
Location: Upper Left USA | You are not alone.
Did you think we were perfect a$$h01es? |
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May 2003
Posts: 4389
Location: Capital District, NY, USA Minor Outlying Islands | There is no proper way to tell people about hemorroids ... so just blurt it out like you got turrets. At least they'll stay away from you and besides, honesty is the best policy. |
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July 2004
Posts: 812
Location: Hicksville, NY | Ana Mantle -- it's only available with a prescription. Ask your physician to prescribe it for you, and relief will be a lot quicker than all them over_the_counter creams.
In the meantime, those Tucks pads (as per MWoody) do come in handy. |
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August 2006
Posts: 3145
Location: Marlton, NJ | I don't know what to say... I'm going to play Stairway to Heaven.... :eek: |
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January 2006
Posts: 1478
Location: Michigan | an4340 , after telling people nobody wants to shake my hand anymore.GWB |
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November 2002
Posts: 3614
Location: Pacific Northwest Inland Empire | Social stigma, pure & simple. Medical condition, needs medical care. Pay me now, pay me later. It's marginally acceptable to discuss your prostate health, but colon function- too anxiety-producing for most folks.
Remember the ol' saw about "The Boss Of The Body"?
Git 'er done, Bud. |
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October 2006
Posts: 5575
Location: big island | I heard about this farmer who raised pigs and loved to eat chittlin's (chitterlings). One of his pigs had a bad case of hemorrhoids so he figured he could always have chittlin's without having to kill the pig. Go figure... |
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Joined:
September 2006
Posts: 347
Location: Reno, NV | Originally posted by Lanaki:
I heard about this farmer who raised pigs and loved to eat chittlin's (chitterlings). One of his pigs had a bad case of hemorrhoids so he figured he could always have chittlin's without having to kill the pig. Go figure... NOOOOOOOOO!!! :eek: |
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August 2005
Posts: 3736
Location: Sunshine State, Australia | Originally posted by CrimsonLake:
I don't know what to say... I'm going to play Stairway to Heaven.... :eek: Or, more appropriately, Johnny Cash - Ring of Fire |
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July 2005
Posts: 3410
Location: GA USA | Lanaki, after 13 posts, you may be my new favorite person. |
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January 2002
Posts: 14127
Location: 6 String Ranch | That just ain't right! |
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April 2006
Posts: 1138
Location: CT | Originally posted by guitarwannabee:
5120 members and I am the only one with Hemorriods !!! BullS*^T
Its time to come out of the closet OFCers...GWB A lot of members, yes, but most of those have ZERO posts. Many just came to look, or had a question answered then went away (or were frightened or offended). It's only the few dedicated OFCers with no social life and nothing better to do at home or at work than stare at this site all day. |
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Joined:
December 2001
Posts: 10582
Location: NJ | Hydrocortisone Cream perscirption strength 3%
be careful it contains steroids
drink plenty of water.
warm baths
fluids and fruits
soups applesauce etc
rest plenty of bed rest |
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January 2004
Posts: 1225
Location: Lake Hiawatha, New Jersey | You may want to put some epsom salts in the bath too. |
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September 2003
Posts: 9301
Location: south east Michigan | I've been home for a couple days with strep throat. After reading this thread, my throat don't seem so bad. |
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Joined:
December 2001
Posts: 10582
Location: NJ | Brad
chicken soup
plenty of fluids
water gatorade etc
no colas or caffienated beverages
no milk or dairy products
aspirin or my personal favorite
robitussin
you can gargle with Cepacol mouthwash also |
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Joined:
September 2003
Posts: 9301
Location: south east Michigan | Thank you Dr. Feelgood!! |
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HEMORRIODS ARE KILLING ME
