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Location: Tennessee | 1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.....
And now, the honorable mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, he man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15.
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The
liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
******A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had. |
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Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | Have I told any of you about the time I burned the end of my nose with a lighter? |
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Posts: 486
Location: North Carolina | Originally posted by stonebobbo:
1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel I gotta tell ya, the first time I ever fired the M-16 I was almost tempted to do this. I couldn't tell if the damn thing had gone off. |
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Location: Orange County, California | I certainly wouldn't admit to anything like that... |
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Posts: 5575
Location: big island | Originally posted by Jeff W.:
Have I told any of you about the time I burned the end of my nose with a lighter? you have now. |
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Posts: 11039
Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | .... there are some choice DarwinianAward details I've failed to disclose in that post . . . . |
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Posts: 486
Location: North Carolina | Originally posted by mtnbikerfred:
I certainly wouldn't admit to anything like that... Well, the difference is it was an implse, not an action. What I did do was look at the target and saw the bullet hole (no where near the rings, but hey, I hit the paper!) |
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Posts: 14842
Location: NJ | We rented/watched this Sunday night:
Darwin Awards
Kinda' stupid, but it DID have it's funny moments . . .
How Stupid?
Two words: David Arquette (thankfully, he's only in a couple bits).
Wynona Ryder's pretty good.
The description of ". . "X-Files" meets "JackAss" . ." pretty much fits it . . .
If you're looking for a couple hours of silliness, it's a good rental. |
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Posts: 4413
| So, anyway, did anyone finally track down Jason? |
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Posts: 1180
Location: Vermont USA | posted by Jeff W
"Have I told any of you about the time I burned the end of my nose with a lighter?"
Somethings are best kept a secret.
Pauly |
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Posts: 2793
Location: Atlanta, GA. | pssst. you're supposed to light the roach BEFORE you take a hit. |
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Posts: 2491
Location: Copenhagen Denmark | Just noticed that Cliff was the Major Poster around here,allways thought that he was the Clint Eastwood type,..Tall & Silent..and somebody give Stonebobbo a beer before he kills me..ROFL :)
Vic |
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OT: 2006 Darwin Awards
