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MWoody |
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Joined: December 2003 Posts: 13986 Location: Upper Left USA | Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth. On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years. A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!' The husband said, 'Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?' 'Doesn't matter,' she said. 'Just get out.' | ||
stephent28 |
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Joined: April 2004 Posts: 13303 Location: Latitude 39.56819, Longitude -105.080066 | Funny stuff Woody...thanks for the early brightening of my day! | ||
Captain Lovehandles |
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Joined: July 2005 Posts: 3410 Location: GA USA | One day Porter Wagoner heard a voice telling him "Go to Vegas", but an eagle swooped down and flew off with his golf ball. | ||
2ifbyC |
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Joined: December 2006 Posts: 6268 Location: Florida Central Gulf Coast | Originally posted by Captain_Lovehandles: "How much is that new?" One day Porter Wagoner heard a voice telling him "Go to Vegas", but an eagle swooped down and flew off with his golf ball. Ahhh, the memories! | ||
Trader Jim |
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Joined: June 2006 Posts: 7307 Location: South of most, North of few | Originally posted by 2ifbyC: yup!Originally posted by Captain_Lovehandles: "How much is that new?" One day Porter Wagoner heard a voice telling him "Go to Vegas", but an eagle swooped down and flew off with his golf ball. Ahhh, the memories! | ||
Oddball |
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Joined: March 2007 Posts: 841 Location: CA | "I'm not saying my wife talks a lot, but the last time we went on vacation, her tongue got sunburned." — Alan King | ||
Waskel |
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Joined: February 2005 Posts: 11840 Location: closely held secret | Two men are out just fishing quietly and drinking beer. Almost silently, so as not to scare the fish, Bob says, 'I think I'm gonna divorce my wife. She hasn't spoken to me in over 2 months.' Charles continues slowly sipping his beer then thoughtfully says, 'You better think it over, Bob. Women like that are hard to find.' | ||
edensharvest |
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Joined: March 2006 Posts: 1634 Location: Chehalis, Washington | Originally posted by MWoody: Nice Mike, as always...that just made my night! :DFifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth. On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years. A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!' The husband said, 'Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?' 'Doesn't matter,' she said. 'Just get out.' | ||
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