Joined:
September 2003
Posts: 9301
Location: south east Michigan | Wabbit sent me over to Studio-Central.
There is a thread called "The Noob's Guide To Looking Good At Studio-Central"
Here is Chapter One of Three.
For the complete thread, go HERE
-----------------------------------------------
CHAPTER 1 - YOU KNOW BEST, AND WE KNOW NOTHING
Here at Studio-Central, the world revolves around one thing: you. Your ideas, experience, feelings, and well-being trump all else. We owe you quality guidance that addresses you on your level, that you can understand the first time around, and that requires no effort or follow-up on your part. Because you generously paid the price of one email address when you registered, we are forever indebted to you. Thank you for gracing us with your presence.
No matter who you are, you are smarter than everyone else; you may as well declare this any time you can. Affirm yourself often. The only reason others aren’t praising you is because they’re inarticulate fools! Question the expertise of others. You’re a professional too, after all: your band has a MySpace and played 3 gigs in two states last year. Here’s a little-known fact of the industry: once you own a condenser mic, you own a studio. So be sure to call yourself something respectable, like "The Brokenankleknuckle Two World Studios Records Factor Experience," and be sure to communicate that you are a producer for the aforementioned organization.
Don’t read your manual. The information therein is outdated and useless, just like the driver CD that came with your $20 USB interface. Come to Studio-Central and post up your question FIRST. Once you arrive, don’t search the forums either for the same reason you don’t read your manual. Finally, there is no such thing as "The Guide." It doesn't exist. It's a mental crutch.
Guitar center employees are godsends, so pit their advice against the experts here whenever possible. How else would you have found out that you needed a subwoofer? Isn’t music about what you feel? And they always know a good pair of monitors when they hear them: you can easily tell the difference between professional and amateur music on them, thus these speakers are all you need to crank out top-notch tunes.
If for some reason you, in your infinite wisdom, need to ask a question, do not provide a broad range of background information relating to your setup. Speak of the problems you’re having with your FireWire interface. When someone asks you what chipset you have, promptly slam them and inform them that you know what you’re doing. You're not stupid. You can't be: you’re using your FireWire to USB adapter cable, so the problem obviously lies not with the chipset.
Wield your age. When the 40+ year-olds give some input, be sure to tell them you can’t take them seriously because "technological advances have rolled over them.” Their place is in the garden and/or the corner booth at McDonalds, with 3 week-old coffee cups reminiscing about how great vinyl sounds. And when a teenager points out the absurd nature of your posts, quickly retreat to the nearest gathering of equally-knowledgeable adults and commend their “intelligence” and discuss how good it is to be socializing with them (and not some whippersnapper in the mixers forum). It’s not like kids can hop on google and learn how to do anything you could ever do and then some, now is it? Gosh, 50 years of procedural knowledge; you’re a genius! Make sure the kiddies know it.
If you can use the English language in a somewhat effective manner, then flaunt that ability. Nitpick others’ grammar; if their spelling is wrong, then so are they! The other side of the coin is just as important: if you never did learn how to talk; be sure to bash those whose can. I.E. if you’re pretty new to thinking in general and therefore have difficulty expressing yourself coherently, this should be your mantra: ”Watch out for people who try to dazzle you with big words and intellectual double-talk. They want to drag you off into endless arguments that never amount to anything. They spread their ideas through the empty traditions of human beings and the empty superstitions of spirit beings” (Col 2:8, MSG). You cannot be wrong, so expose the cogent arguments of your opponents for what they truly are. Here at Studio-Central, we censor facts, not opinions.
Everyone else is confusing; you cannot be confused. . . |
Joined:
October 2005
Posts: 5332
Location: Bluffton, SC | "Fortunately for the rest of you, I only do about half of the annoying stuff--only because I don't know how to do the other half."
Mark, my wife wanted to know if you're married. I told her about the slew of guitars, the Porsche fetish and that I believe you ARE maried and she still thinks (apparently in comparison to me) there's potential. She'll be in touch. :rolleyes:
(May the Force be with you.) |
Joined:
March 2005
Posts: 12761
Location: Boise, Idaho | Weaser, we celebrated 30 years this year with the purchase of the OFC. It was also my birthday present last year, but she forgot that I used the 30th as an excuse for the 30th CL. Sometimes bad memory is a good thing.
Tell your wife that the newer Porsche is SWMBO's, but she lets me drive it once in awhile. |
A forum with a kindred spirit
