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November 2005
Posts: 4832
Location: Campbell River, British Columbia | A C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve minors." So the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and the G is out flat.
An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, Excuse me. I'll just be a second."
Then an A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor.
Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims, "Get out now. You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."
The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the next night in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender (who used to have a nice corporate job until his company downsized) says, "You're looking sharp tonight, come on in! This could be a major development."
This proves to be the case, as the E-flat takes off the suit, and everything else, and stands there au natural.
Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the
diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility. On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.
The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so patrons, and the sopranout in the bathroom, everything has become alto much treble; he needs a rest, and closes the bar. |
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November 2004
Posts: 4413
| Brilliant. |
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Posts: 13996
Location: Upper Left USA | That raises a theory... |
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Posts: 15678
Location: SoCal | Man, you guys got waaaayyyy tooo much time on your hands.... |
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Posts: 14127
Location: 6 String Ranch | Well done!!! |
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Posts: 11039
Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | I just played that story...
Don't believe a word of it. |
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February 2005
Posts: 11840
Location: closely held secret | One of my favorite 10cc songs.
[A]I bought a [Ab]flat
[Abdim]Diminished responsibili[E]ty
You're de [D9]ninth person to [C]see
To [Bsus]be suspended by a [A7]seventh [Amaj7]major catastro[E]phe
It`s a [Am]minor point but
[G]Gee
[G+]Augmented
By the [G#+]sharpness
Of your
[C]See what I'm going through
[A]Eh, to be with [E]you
In a [Ab]flat
By the [C]sea |
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Posts: 803
Location: Avondale, AZ | This story doesn't work. They couldn't get the bar open. They had all the wrong keys. |
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November 2005
Posts: 111
Location: Southern California | I just couldn't get into the story... it didn't strike a chord with me. |
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July 2002
Posts: 1900
| ...I think we need more dynamics at this point.. |
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November 2005
Posts: 4832
Location: Campbell River, British Columbia | I wish the story had come to me attributed, as I believe this sort of brilliance (?) deserve recognition. Unfortunately the web/internet, having so little regard for intellectual property, often leaves this part off.
I am but the messenger of that very inside piece of humour. Reminds me of the Steve Martin 'plumbers joke.' |
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January 2006
Posts: 208
Location: Illinois | I think we need to get a couple Sopranos with a couple iron bars to play a tune on filhixx's head. |
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November 2005
Posts: 4832
Location: Campbell River, British Columbia | If they aren't Sopranos when they come to town, they will be when they leave.....
:cool:
I'll have to tell you the story one day about when Hell's Angels thought they'd open a chapter here. |
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Three notes walk into a bar.....
