The Ovation Fan Club
The Ovation Fan Club
Forum Search | Statistics | User Listing Forums | Calendars | Albums | Language
Your are viewing as a Guest. ( logon | register )
NEW in 2026 Searches both the Ovation FanClub and Ovation Tribute websites

Random quote: "One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain." - Bob Marley



Jump to page : 1
Now viewing page 1 [25 messages per page]
Completely OT, but Funny

View previous thread :: View next thread
   Members Forums -> General PostingMessage format
 
G8r
Posted 2009-10-23 12:45 AM (#393562)
Subject: Completely OT, but Funny


Joined:
November 2006
Posts: 3969

At the risk of re-igniting the Mac vs. Win debate, I found this hilarious (originally posted on Slashdot ):


I get the impression that the Windows 7 launch is a lot like seeing an old girlfriend suddenly show up on your doorstep wanting to get back together. She's had some work done, apparently: stomach stapling to take off some of the weight, breast augmentation, and a radical nosejob to make her look as much like your current girlfriend as medical science will allow.

She's pretty, of course, almost too pretty. She still wears far too much makeup and carries that desperate look in her eyes. The fragrant haze around her is the perfume she overuses to mask the scent of failure.

But standing there in that low-cut top, you'd almost forget for a moment what a psycho she was- how she used to shut down in the middle of a date and forget everything you were talking about and how she was only happy when you were buying her things. You'd almost forget about carrying around her legacy baggage or those nights when, for seemingly no reason at all, she would simply stop speaking to you and when you asked what was wrong she'd just spit a string of hex code at you and expect you to figure it out.

You complained about her for years before finally deciding to get rid of her, and here she is again. Though, somehow she seems like a completely different person now.

"I'm up here," she says when she catches you staring at her chest.

Tempted though you may be, you know that over time she'll get bored and slow down on you just like she always does. And then you'll be right back where you started: trapped. She keeps you by convincing you that you don't have a choice. You're just not smart enough for one option or rich enough to afford the other.

"But I'm different now," she says, batting her eyes innocently. "I've changed."

Indeed she has. Apparently, she's really into Cabala now or something like that. It's helped her discover loads of untapped potential in herself. But it also means that you'll have to buy all new furniture to fit with her understanding of feng shui. That's not the only change she has in store for you. The minute you let her move in, she'll have a new alarm system put in that succeeds only in preventing your friends from coming over on poker night.

She doesn't love you, but she doesn't hate you, either. The truth is that she couldn't care less one way or the other. She's here because she doesn't want to be alone. Like all human beings, especially those well past their prime, she wants to feel wanted and, after a string of lost jobs and bad investments, she needs a place to stay.

But all in all, she's OK. She's a seven. She'll do, I guess.
Top of the page Bottom of the page
FlicKreno aka Solid Top
Posted 2009-10-23 12:47 AM (#393563 - in reply to #393562)
Subject: Re: Completely OT, but Funny


Joined:
April 2006
Posts: 2491

Location: Copenhagen Denmark
Okayyy ... Yet !! .. I Wish ...
Top of the page Bottom of the page
TAFKAR
Posted 2009-10-23 1:46 AM (#393564 - in reply to #393562)
Subject: Re: Completely OT, but Funny



Joined:
April 2008
Posts: 2985

Location: Sydney, Australia
I like it!
Top of the page Bottom of the page
stephent28
Posted 2009-10-23 2:49 AM (#393565 - in reply to #393562)
Subject: Re: Completely OT, but Funny



Joined:
April 2004
Posts: 13303

Location: Latitude 39.56819, Longitude -105.080066
Good stuff.....

and so is Windows 7

I have been using it trouble free for about 6 months now and have been so impressed that I went out and bought it today.

Didn't even feel the need to wait for Service Pack 1 (which has always been my religion).

Oh yeah....I also went 64 bit which is a beautiful thing.
Top of the page Bottom of the page
Old Man Arthur
Posted 2009-10-23 3:21 AM (#393566 - in reply to #393562)
Subject: Re: Completely OT, but Funny



Joined:
September 2006
Posts: 10777

Location: Keepin' It Weird in Portland, OR
Haven't tried Windows 7.

If you search, I complained alittle about Vista, But I complained about XP, And 2000. And 98.

I'm just an Old Fart... Now that I know how to work Vista, I ain't changing until I have to. :rolleyes:

But that is an intriguing piece of prose.
Top of the page Bottom of the page
Trader Jim
Posted 2009-10-23 4:57 AM (#393567 - in reply to #393562)
Subject: Re: Completely OT, but Funny


Joined:
June 2006
Posts: 7307

Location: South of most, North of few
I must be the only person on the planet that hasn't had a bit of problem with Vista. My HP runs extremely fast and (so far) is as reliable as tomorrow.
Top of the page Bottom of the page
Darkbar
Posted 2009-10-23 6:57 AM (#393568 - in reply to #393562)
Subject: Re: Completely OT, but Funny



Joined:
January 2009
Posts: 4536

Location: Flahdaw
I want to fool around with 7, just for old times sake.
Top of the page Bottom of the page
FlySig
Posted 2009-10-23 9:33 AM (#393569 - in reply to #393562)
Subject: Re: Completely OT, but Funny



Joined:
October 2005
Posts: 4081

Location: Utah
Never sleep with or fight with someone crazier than you are. That was my Father-in-Law's advice to me. (shoulda' listened to what he was trying to say).

So there is no way I'd be getting back in bed with that old flame, even if she's a 7 now.
Top of the page Bottom of the page
kotadawg
Posted 2009-10-23 11:42 AM (#393570 - in reply to #393562)
Subject: Re: Completely OT, but Funny


Joined:
November 2007
Posts: 1486

Location: Cincinnati
XP is the best windows system. Why don't they just fix the problems and forget the new systems?
Top of the page Bottom of the page
Mark in Boise
Posted 2009-10-23 12:15 PM (#393571 - in reply to #393562)
Subject: Re: Completely OT, but Funny


Joined:
March 2005
Posts: 12761

Location: Boise, Idaho
Unlike mechanics, they don't make money fixing the old systems.
Top of the page Bottom of the page
Gallerinski
Posted 2009-10-23 12:33 PM (#393572 - in reply to #393562)
Subject: Re: Completely OT, but Funny
Joined:
May 2008
Posts: 4996

Location: Phoenix AZ
For the 90% of the world that is teathered to Windows I hope that 7 is a raging success. You've suffered long enough and if the hype is true then perhaps 7 will be your salvation.

Personally I'd rather shove a burning torch up my ass.
Top of the page Bottom of the page
Darkbar
Posted 2009-10-23 12:58 PM (#393573 - in reply to #393562)
Subject: Re: Completely OT, but Funny



Joined:
January 2009
Posts: 4536

Location: Flahdaw
Originally posted by Gallerinski:

Personally I'd rather shove a burning torch up my ass.
G8r left that tempting bit of foreplay out of his software fantasy
Top of the page Bottom of the page
Mark in Boise
Posted 2009-10-23 1:21 PM (#393574 - in reply to #393562)
Subject: Re: Completely OT, but Funny


Joined:
March 2005
Posts: 12761

Location: Boise, Idaho
When I hear a song with vivid imagery, I sometimes relate and I sometimes wonder what the hell the writer was going through to think of that. With Dave, it's usually the latter.
Top of the page Bottom of the page
Jump to page : 1
Now viewing page 1 [25 messages per page]
Jump to forum :
Search this forum
Printer friendly version
E-mail a link to this thread

This message board and website is not sponsored or affiliated with Ovation® Guitars in any way.
Registered to: The Ovation Fanclubâ„¢ Copyright (c) 2001
free counters
(Delete all cookies set by this site)