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Joined:
April 2004
Posts: 13303
Location: Latitude 39.56819, Longitude -105.080066 | How do you know when a banjo player is knocking at your front door?
The knocking comes faster and faster and he doesn't know when to come in!
:D :cool: :D |
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Joined:
October 2005
Posts: 803
Location: Avondale, AZ | Hey I had posted a response here and now it is gone. What happened? |
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Joined:
December 2004
Posts: 370
Location: Isle of Man, UK | Originally posted by OldLiverJones:
Hey I had posted a response here and now it is gone. What happened? The Banjo Police are onto us! Save yourselves - I'll distract them with a rockabilly version of the Duelling Banjo's whilst you run for it.
I'll be fine - I'll have a double bass player to protect me...
JB |
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Joined:
October 2005
Posts: 33
Location: vienna, west virginia | you sure got a pretty mouth boy..... |
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Joined:
November 2005
Posts: 4827
Location: Campbell River, British Columbia | Originally posted by jb:
Originally posted by OldLiverJones:
I'll be fine - I'll have a double bass player to protect me... How does the double bass player know he's in tune?
A- the tuning pegs all line up
B- the strings are all the same tension
c- the keyboard player quit complaining |
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Joined:
January 2002
Posts: 14127
Location: 6 String Ranch | What is a good pickup to put on a banjo?
a ford. |
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Joined:
May 2003
Posts: 4389
Location: Capital District, NY, USA Minor Outlying Islands | What do you say to a banjo player wearing a suit?
Will the defendant please rise! |
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Joined:
May 2003
Posts: 4389
Location: Capital District, NY, USA Minor Outlying Islands | How many banjo players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They haven't figured it out yet. |
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Joined:
May 2003
Posts: 4389
Location: Capital District, NY, USA Minor Outlying Islands | How do you drown a banjo player?
Close the toilet bowl cover while he's drinking! |
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Joined:
October 2005
Posts: 803
Location: Avondale, AZ | How do you give a banjo player a visectomy?
Kick his sister in the jaw. |
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Joined:
February 2003
Posts: 2177
Location: the BIG Metropolis of TR | What do you get when you cross a banjo player and a groundhog?
Six more weeks of Foggy Mountain Breakdown. |
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Joined:
January 2006
Posts: 175
Location: Eugene, Oregon | Why do I have the urge to go shootin' fur sum food? |
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Joined:
February 2006
Posts: 140
| typical uninformed guitar hackers. |
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Joined:
August 2003
Posts: 2246
Location: Yucaipa, California | Did somebody say Foggy Mountain Breakdown???? :D :D
:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :D |
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Joined:
October 2005
Posts: 803
Location: Avondale, AZ | KG said:
typical uninformed guitar hackers. I too appreciate the banjo. It provides great fills for a richer sound. However these guys sucked me in and I started making bad banjokes. |
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Joined:
October 2005
Posts: 5329
Location: Cicero, NY | Yep, looks like we've lost another one, folks. Tim, I'm not sure if it's the curiosity or it's the fancy headwear that you get 'em with but you certainly get the job done. |
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Joined:
November 2005
Posts: 4827
Location: Campbell River, British Columbia | Biggest weakness for the banjo? You can't play the blues on it!
Biggest strength of the banjo? You can't play the blues on it!
(Used to be able to say y'couldn't play jazz on it too, before Bella Fleck :rolleyes: ) |
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Joined:
December 2003
Posts: 13987
Location: Upper Left USA | Let me attempt to pacify this situation by closing with the following:
The Ballad of Al Pepiak
Come and listen to a story bout a man named Al
A poor guitar player, Bims and Drummers were his pals.
Teaching English to the children where they didn’t speak a word
On the East Coast in Joisey, it was totally absurd
Diction that is, the spoken word.
As time goes by Al is reaping in the dough
On an English Teachers salary, you say it isn’t so
But with the Rock and Roll equipment that keeps rolling on his floor
He’d buy it real high and sell it for much more
Amps that is, Old guitars, shiny dreams.
Well the next thing you know Al is making music pay
He can find those guitars that people love to play
Then one day you can’t imagine what he’d found
A different kind of axe where the back was round
Ovation that is, kind of odd!
These guitars that Al is selling they are different and unique
When he sells them overseas, the Samurai just Freak!
The solidbody parts in his basement that is deep
Go for what the whole darn thing cost when the Factory had a heap!
Unappreciated that is, Feeling no Love!
The next step Al takes is to sell them full time, Wow!
It isn’t always easy (like it seems to be now)
The bills still come in but Ol Al is without fear
You can hear Al say “I’m just an Idjut selling gear”
Amps and things, textured tops too!
Al and Miles, they meet up one day to shoot the $!@# with friends
They have to end their meetin’ wishing it would never end
When a bolt of 110 lighting hits old Miles through the eyes
“Al Gore’s internet” he clamors “We’ll meet there most every night”!
Bulletin Boards, Modem speed, HTML
Well the first meetings there draw a very different crowd
From the Left and the Right, from fields just freshly plowed
If you do a little search you can find them still
You’re dang sure to run into some retired guy named Bill
From a Gas station that is, (or is it GAS to you?)
Time goes by and the Meeting room gets big
Al’s like a god to the Ovation Factory
They’re selling them new aLeX thingies both near and very far
It don’t take long and there’s an “OFC” Guitar
Shrouded in Mystery, Soon to be told!
Well the story isn’t over there’s a lot more to tell
With the Brothers and the Sisters doing very, very well
You can get an education. You can pass the time of day
You can speak your @#$# mind! Just don’t be mean so they say!
Freedom that is, Democracy, even at work!
Y’all come back now! Ya Hear! |
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Joined:
October 2005
Posts: 803
Location: Avondale, AZ | Good job Woody. Now imagine that set to banjo music and you might have a hit. |
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Joined:
October 2005
Posts: 5329
Location: Cicero, NY | ...or get hit. One of the two. :D |
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Joined:
November 2005
Posts: 4827
Location: Campbell River, British Columbia | And don't forget the jug solo when you write the arrangement! |
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Joined:
October 2005
Posts: 803
Location: Avondale, AZ | Forget the jug solo. It's too simple. I always write a lead for my bass odeler(sp). |
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Joined:
January 2006
Posts: 175
Location: Eugene, Oregon | I Love it! |
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Banjoke
