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OT - Way too close to home

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   Forums Archive -> The Vault: 2006Message format
 
schroeder
Posted 2006-06-26 8:15 AM (#249472)
Subject: OT - Way too close to home


Joined:
November 2004
Posts: 4413

At least you'll score points for letting your wife see this.....


15 PIECES OF ADVICE TO BE PASSED ON TO YOUR MUM, YOUR DAUGHTERS OR
>>GRANDDAUGHTERS, NIECES, AUNTS, GIRLFRIENDS, ETC.
>>
>>
>>1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.
>>
>>2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.
>>
>>3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up
>>there.
>>
>>4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.
>>
>>5. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway.
>>
>>6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can
>>tell them apart.
>>
>>7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make
>>some woman miserable.
>! ;>
>>8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself
>>types.
>>
>>9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for
>>it.
>>
>>10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
>>
>>11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
>>
>>12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even
>>in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
>>
>>13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him cheque
>>books.
>>
>>14. Remember a sense of humour does not mean that you tell him jokes, it
>>means that you laugh at his.
>>
>>15. Sadly, all men are created equal.
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xnoel
Posted 2006-06-26 8:43 AM (#249473 - in reply to #249472)
Subject: Re: OT - Way too close to home


Joined:
September 2003
Posts: 782

Location: Waurika OK
You just gave my wife a good laugh to start her day.
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an4340
Posted 2006-06-26 9:31 AM (#249474 - in reply to #249472)
Subject: Re: OT - Way too close to home


Joined:
May 2003
Posts: 4389

Location: Capital District, NY, USA Minor Outlying Islands
And here's a tidbit for boys:
All cats are gray in the dark.
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MWoody
Posted 2006-06-26 10:17 AM (#249475 - in reply to #249472)
Subject: Re: OT - Way too close to home



Joined:
December 2003
Posts: 13996

Location: Upper Left USA
...and they taste like chicken!
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TommyK
Posted 2006-06-26 6:34 PM (#249476 - in reply to #249472)
Subject: Re: OT - Way too close to home


Joined:
January 2006
Posts: 208

Location: Illinois
Some of the adivce is spot on. Most sound a bit chauvanistic to me. :(
But that's our lot in life: take verbal and physical abuse from the wimmen folk. Why? Because that's the way our daddies raised us, never to hit girls.

I think Tom T. Hall said it best,
"
CHORUS
G C D7 G
It's faster horses -- younger women -- older whiskey -- more money!"
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BrianT
Posted 2006-06-26 6:37 PM (#249477 - in reply to #249472)
Subject: Re: OT - Way too close to home


Joined:
January 2004
Posts: 338

Location: SE Michigan
Dear Lord......I'm a Man.......But I can change......If I have to.

(the Man's prayer - Red Green)
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MWoody
Posted 2006-06-26 6:53 PM (#249478 - in reply to #249472)
Subject: Re: OT - Way too close to home



Joined:
December 2003
Posts: 13996

Location: Upper Left USA
"If they can't find you handsome, they should find you handy."

R/G
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Brian T
Posted 2006-06-26 8:27 PM (#249479 - in reply to #249472)
Subject: Re: OT - Way too close to home


Joined:
May 2003
Posts: 425

Location: SE Michigan
And remember....keep yer stick on the ice
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Jeff W.
Posted 2006-06-26 10:34 PM (#249480 - in reply to #249472)
Subject: Re: OT - Way too close to home


Joined:
November 2003
Posts: 11039

Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub
How many men does it take to change a light bulb??


F@¢K the B!cthes, Let 'em cook in the dark!


(PM me for personal apologies)
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Tupperware
Posted 2006-06-26 10:57 PM (#249481 - in reply to #249472)
Subject: Re: OT - Way too close to home


Joined:
January 2005
Posts: 4903

Location: Phoenix AZ
This is a true story. About 1985 I bought my mom a microwave oven with the touchpad digital control. Her previous one had the rotary dial and that greasy probe you stick up the chickens ass. Anyway, I can over to her house and she was all frustrated from trying to use the microwave touchpad/display to balance her checkbook. Dave
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moody, p.i.
Posted 2006-06-26 11:21 PM (#249482 - in reply to #249472)
Subject: Re: OT - Way too close to home


Joined:
March 2002
Posts: 15678

Location: SoCal
Hey Whitehead, you ever wonder why you're single?
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Waskel
Posted 2006-06-27 12:34 AM (#249483 - in reply to #249472)
Subject: Re: OT - Way too close to home



Joined:
February 2005
Posts: 11840

Location: closely held secret
Originally posted by BrianT:
Dear Lord......I'm a Man.......But I can change......If I have to.

(the Man's prayer - Red Green)
Sorry to correct you, Brian, but I believe it's:

"I'm a man, but I can change... if I have to... I guess...
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stephent28
Posted 2006-06-27 12:36 AM (#249484 - in reply to #249472)
Subject: Re: OT - Way too close to home



Joined:
April 2004
Posts: 13303

Location: Latitude 39.56819, Longitude -105.080066
Originally posted by moody, p.i.:
Hey Whitehead, you ever wonder why you're single?
I think it's cause he so f&&king brilliant!
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Beal
Posted 2006-06-27 9:17 AM (#249485 - in reply to #249472)
Subject: Re: OT - Way too close to home



Joined:
January 2002
Posts: 14127

Location: 6 String Ranch
If a man is alone on the moon, is he still wrong?
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Weaser P
Posted 2006-06-27 12:33 PM (#249486 - in reply to #249472)
Subject: Re: OT - Way too close to home


Joined:
October 2005
Posts: 5331

Location: Cicero, NY
Originally posted by cwk2:
If a man is alone on the moon, is he still wrong?
Depends on if he had enough gas to get further away from his mother in law...
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Mark in Boise
Posted 2006-06-27 9:36 PM (#249487 - in reply to #249472)
Subject: Re: OT - Way too close to home


Joined:
March 2005
Posts: 12759

Location: Boise, Idaho
Originally posted by cwk2:
If a man is alone on the moon, is he still wrong?
Don't know, but we sure know he didn't ask for directions on how to get there.
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Jeff W.
Posted 2006-06-27 11:52 PM (#249488 - in reply to #249472)
Subject: Re: OT - Way too close to home


Joined:
November 2003
Posts: 11039

Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub
Originally posted by moody, p.i.:
Hey Whitehead, you ever wonder why you're single?
Never for a moment.
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