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Location: Florida | One day Sleeping Beauty is visiting her friends Tom Thumb and Quasimodo. She mentions that she believes she's the most pretty girl in the world. Tom says he must be the smallest person in the world. Quasimodo says he must be the ugliest person in the world.
So the three all go over to the Guiness Book of Records offices, and decide to see if thier claims are valid.
After a while Sleeping Beauty comes out, and says "Its true, I'm the prettiest girl in the world!"
A while later, Tom Thumb comes out and says "Its true! I'm the smallest person in the world!"
Finally Quasimodo comes out and says "Who the hell is Camilla Parker Bowles?" |
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Location: NJ | There was a recent cartoon where Prince Charles (and Camilla) are railing at his son for the whole Nazi costume thing . . .
(referring to the swastika), Charles asks "How can you go out in public wearing that hideous thing on your arm!??"
Harry looks at Camilla and says "I was gonna ask you the same thing, Dad . . " |
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Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | You guys are being pretty harsh...
To her credit, prior to Charles' Polo Match, it was heard remarked that she was the most fetching mount in the stable.
(and that's why I'll only do one show a night.) |
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Location: NJ | I'm just jealous that we don't have a big-earred, clueless, wooden-headed dimwit of a political leader over HERE to make jokes about . . . . |
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Location: Capital District, NY, USA Minor Outlying Islands | An immitation of the king to be:
Pip Pip Cherrio! Time to shag the nag now. Wot!
Wait a minute, speaking of political leaders, remember these bon mots:
I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully
and
We ought to make the pie higher.
I know I shouldn't post stuff like this because it attracts flies like ... but I couldn't resist.
All in good fun though.
PS I was wondering if the off topic lounge is going to come into being some day. I think there should be a strictly ovation section, then say a music section, then a no music no ovation area like this post. Just wondering. |
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Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | Cliff,
An agent looking to book you a gig at camp X-ray? |
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Location: Orange County, California | Hey!! Bill made it through the surgery OK.. oh wait, his political career is dead, Hmmmmm. |
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Location: closely held secret | Gosh, Cliff, we had one from 1992-2000, don't be greedy. Maybe you'll get another in '08. |
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Location: SoCal | Hey Cliff, I just bought the book "Bush Country -- How George W. Bush Became The First Great Leader of the 21st Century While Driving Liberals Insane" by John Podhoretz.
Wanna read it when I'm done? |
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Location: NJ | Sure.
Does it come WITH crayons? |
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Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | No. It's a pop-up |
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Location: NJ | Nice! |
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Location: closely held secret | No, no, no... the "pop-up" book was called "My Life"... |
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| well, he's supposed to be hung like a horse.... |
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Location: Cicero, NY | If Bush is supposed to be hung like a horse, I have only one request - can I help? |
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| No, hung-like-a-horse is marrying looks-like-a-horse. Pay attention. |
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Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | Must...
keep...
from...
imagining...
Royal...
Honeee....moon.... |
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Location: 6 String Ranch | Ah yes, joke all we want but the real danger is warming up the broom for a fly at 08. God help us if that bitch gets in, then we'll all wish we still had these guys mentioned above to poke fun at.
serious question, why can't America find a decent, honest, smart, worldly, strong person with INTEGRITY to run? It wouldn't matter which party they were from, they'd win. |
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Location: Florida | Man Al, if it wasn't for that taste in fashion, you'd fit the ticket!
America the beautiful. Not the "Laund of Mauve" for the most part. |
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Location: Warren, OH | CWK - it seems as if the very nature of the political process involves the sacrificing of your integrity to become a viable candidate. I've been voting for 20 years, and the last couple of elections have really left me disappointed. I really wanted to write in "None of the Above" on my last ballot.
Worse yet, with our media circus, any minor flaws are quickly exposed and exploited. I really wonder if any person can survive all the scrutiny unscathed. |
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Location: San Bernardino, California | "It is not that power corrupts, but rather that power attracts the easily corruptible" -Ben Franklin |
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| W2 - the answer is money. America is simply the most extreme case of the need for unbelievably large amounts of cash to get elected. It's the same all over Europe.
As long as such huge amounts have to be raised then the man of integrity is going to have to start selling it bit by bit to raise cash. Neither dairy farmers or arms manufacturers give something for nothing. Nor car makers nor banks.
The only way to stop this is for election funding to be paid for by the government. If it was coming out of your taxes you'd pretty soon put a ceiling on it. The playing field would be levelled up overnight and they might have to start on campaigning on politics instaed of personality.
This isn't a pop at America - things are just the same here, but not yet as extreme.
This idea is not new - it gets run out every election here, but depending which party is having the greatest success at fund-raising at the time, someone always opposes it.
And despite the great strengths of your political system, the downside of presidential politics is that it can be instantly reduced to nothing more than personalities. These days you have to be photogenic - no Churchill; physically fit - no Churchill, no Roosevelt; no drinking - no Chuchill; no interest in sex - no Kennedy; no atheists - no Churchill.
The list goes on and none of these things would stop you running the country - but who wants their life gone over with a fine toothcomb?
We all get the governments we deserve. |
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Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | Originally posted by schroeder:
We all get the governments we deserve. Too true. |
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Location: NJ | A lot of the problem stems from the likelyhood that viable candidates today are in the age-group now that they were youths in the 60's - a volatile, and contoversial period. The circumstances of the times did not produce an inordinate amount of "choirboys". Even the slightest hint of what's now perceived as a potential "skeleton" in your closet is deemed as political suicide. Personally, I could give two shits if a person got stoned and did whatever he did to get out of VietNam. If a candidate came up with the BALLS to admit his actions of his youth and then showed me his accomplishments SINCE, and then showed me a tangiable, viable plan or course-of-action, I'd consider him. The whole "Party" system is a rampant, ridiculous, joke of a MoneyMachine. It's pretty sad when you can A/B between a Presidential "debate" (yeah, right) and "American Idol" and not be able to tell the difference.
- I DO agree with you Bill about "the Witch". :rolleyes: |
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Location: Scotland | Bush got back in largely via the support of the Christian right wing over the smoke-screen issues of stem-cell research & gay marriage, while skirting the subjects of a totaly illegal war and the non-existance of Iraqi WMD. So America seems quite happy that queers can't have rights and medical science is castrated, but quite happy to allow Imperialism, warmongering & the bombing of innocents. And what makes me even more sick is that coward Blair kisses his ass. I fucking despair, I really do.
Now, lets talk about guitars so we don't all get pissed at each other. |
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Location: closely held secret | Ok, now that you've vented your opinion about our country, we can talk about O's! |
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| Hey - you started it. If you'd just paid your tea taxes like you should have you could still have a queen. In fact we're about to have a spare one - can we send her and hung-like -a-horse over to you? |
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Location: NJ | That's alright . . .you can KEEP Elton John . . . |
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Location: closely held secret | I hate tea... and taxes... and Hillary would get in a cat-fight with her, as she thinks she's going to be queen. |
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Location: Scotland | More Brit humour....
Camilla tels the Queen that whenever she gives Charles a blow job she gets indigestion. The Queen suggests she tries Andrews. (That may be lost on you colonials)
Q. What's the difference between Arthur Scargill and Michael Jackson? A. It's been 20 years since Scargill has seen a Miners Helmet. |
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Location: NJ | :D |
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Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | :D |
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Location: Snellville, GA | :D |
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Location: NJ | This Just In:
LONDON (AFP) - A red-faced BBC apologised for requesting an interview with Bob Marley, the Jamaican reggae legend who died 24 years ago.
BBC Three, one of the public broadcaster's digital TV channels, sent an e-mail to the Bob Marley Foundation saying it wanted to do a documentary about his hit song "No Woman No Cry".
It said the project would involve Marley -- who died of cancer in May 1981 at the age of 36 -- "spending one or two days with us", and that "it would only work with some participation from Bob Marley himself".
In a statement, the BBC said: "We are obviously very embarrassed that we didn't realise that the letter to the Marley Foundation did not acknowledge that Mr Marley is no longer with us."
Marley would have been 60 last February 6, a date that was celebrated with great fanfare by his legion of fans worldwide.
A BBC press officer, contacted by AFP in London on Friday, confirmed that the gaffe was not an April Fool's joke. |
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Location: 6 String Ranch | whoops! |
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Location: Upper Left USA | RE: "why can't America find a decent, honest, smart, worldly, strong person with INTEGRITY to run? It wouldn't matter which party they were from, they'd win."
Anyone worthy would never allow themselves to be put in that position!
And most Luthiers are already too busy!
W2 - what are you doing in "08"???? Just imagine the Inaugural OFC Ball and White House Tour! |
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Location: Powder Springs, Ga. | This thread started out innocent enough. People making fun of Brits. Nothing offensive, not on topic, but no real waste of bandwidth involved. No harm no foul. How did it go from Brit Politics and Royalty to American Politics I'll never know. BUT IT JUST STOPPED.
FROM THE TERMS OF SERVICE
This board is not intended to be a forum to promote any individual agenda be it from a single person, groups, or commercial or private entity. It is a private community of Ovation enthusiasts from around the world, encompassing a variety of backgrounds, ages, and interests. All opinions and discussions are welcome without fear of censorship, with the only "rule" being to be kind to each other. When said discussions and/or opinions become disruptive and/or repetitive and degenerate into personal agenda, we reserve the right to close threads, remove posts, and ultimately suspend participation.
This is a family oriented board, and as such hurling insults will not be tolerated. The offenders will be warned once and continuation of said behavior will result in the offenders account being suspended.
THIS BBS IS NOT INTENTED TO BY AN OPEN FORUM FOR ANY TOPIC. IT IS AN OVATION GUITARS FORUM. IT IS QUITE OK TO GO OFF TOPIC A LITTLE AS IN THE DIRECTION OF MUSIC, OR IF SOMETHING IS OF INTEREST TO MOST OF US. I AM SORRY IF SOME OF YOU ONLY BELONG TO THIS BBS FORUM AND NO OTHER. YOU ARE MISSING OUT AND MISSING THE POINT.
HERE'S A HINT.
If when you preview your post it containg the name of a religious figure or the name of a politician, then just don't press submit, as it doesn't belong on this website.
(Sorry. I couldn't resist. These are the rules) |
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Location: Midland, MI | I suppose that means we can't post anything containing the name 'Charles Kaman,' as I'm sure he's considered something of a religious figure by some here.
;)
Right...heading for the door just now, I'll grab my coat on the way out. |
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OT: Some Brit humour