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Joined: November 2004 Posts: 4413
| Tonight I got the phone call from my sister that I've been waitng for for over 3 years - my mom is fading fast and won't last too much longer. She hasn't been able to speak and has been bed-riiden for the last 3 years and hasn't recognised me or my brother and sister in all that time. Even tho I've been expecting this call for so long it still comes as a kick in the guts. When you don't know what to do with yourself it's unbelievable how sitting down and playing a guitar for an hour or so can straighten your head out and just - I don't know the words - make you feel better isn't right but it's close. Never underestimate the power of music.
Don't mean for this to be depressing - it will be a happy release for my mom - but I just wanted to say that the guitar you love loves you right back. And don't forget it. |
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Joined: April 2003 Posts: 2503
Location: Fayetteville, NC | Schroeder,
Sorry to her about your Mom. You are correct in that Music has a healing power of sorts. makes us feel better whenever situations get us feeling down. My prayers and thoughts are with you. |
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Joined: March 2002 Posts: 14842
Location: NJ | Schroed;
Sorry t'hear about Mum.
Lost mine last Halloween.
Immersed myself in a little project back then that helped me get through the initial toughest part:
cliff
Member
Member # 116
posted November 02, 2004 01:29 PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Project Progress Report:
Made a last-minute change of plans.
No oil of any kind, just a very well-rubbed waxing with Butcher's Wax.
I had mentioned in a previous post (I believe it had something to do with waxing necks)
that when I was a kid, my mom used to use Butcher's wax on our wood floors (which if
I can recall correctly, MAY have been oak). Mom came from Western Pennsylvania from
strong, Russian-immigrant stock, and it was her belief that the ONLY way that you properly
wax a floor was on your hands and knees, rubbing-in Butcher's Wax with a rag . . . which
was how SHE always did it. This subsequently led to goodly amounts fun by (a MUCH younger)
YoursTruly sliding great distances on heavily-stocking'd feet (along with a couple "knots" on the Noggin') . . . .
I lost Anna last Friday afternoon when she finally succumbed to the ravages of Alzheimer's at age 79.
Spent late Friday night (and early Saturday morning) down in the garage with a bottle of iced Stolichnaya
and had a good cry while Mom and I rubbed a piece of nicely sanded oak to a lustrous shine.
Mounted the hangers, and got it up on wall where I now have five less guitars congregating on the floor
(". . .pick up your toys! . . ").
It doesn't exactly "go" with the fugly 70's panelling (nothing does), and it's not really how I had initially
"envisioned" it, . . but I think she woulda' liked it . . so it's definitely a "keeper".
Thanks for all the Help.
Just know that All of Our Thoughts are with You, and Hope that things go Easily.
Peace. |
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Joined: November 2004 Posts: 4413
| I was dry eyed til then. My mum has Alzheimers too. I really thank you for the thoughts. |
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Joined: May 2004 Posts: 2850
Location: Midland, MI | Sorry to hear, Schroder. Prayers and wishes winging that way... |
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Joined: August 2004 Posts: 604
Location: Tampa, FL | Condolences Schroeder,
You think you have it handled, you think are prepared and then it happens and everything is suddenly not at all what you had envisioned.
Thoughts and prayers go out to you. |
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Joined: February 2005 Posts: 349
Location: Snellville, GA | My Mom's in a similar way, not as far along. Dad went suddenly, not as hard as the knowing and waiting. My thoughts are with you. |
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Joined: June 2002 Posts: 136
Location: Parkersburg, WV | Schroeder,
My thoughts are with you also. I lost my father on April 10. Your comments on playing are right on. You tend to want to spend some quiet time alone and playing seems to be very therapeutic. I wound up checking out this web sight after a long absence and in an odd way seemed to be a positive diversion.
Patsbro |
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 Joined: December 2004 Posts: 4394
Location: East Tennessee | Sorry to hear about your Mom.
My Mother passed away in 1989 and my Dad in1992. Reading the posts brought back some sadness but also a flood of happy times we had. They were both my biggest fans,(along with my wife & kids).
I still miss them, guess I alway will. Someday I'll see them again. I hope I'm in the string section in Heaven's Band. Second Chair. I'll let David Play first chair. |
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 Joined: February 2003 Posts: 2178
Location: the BIG Metropolis of TR | Schroeder & Patsbro,
My thoughts & prayers are with you both and your families as you face these sad times.......
....We are blessed that we have the gift of music to bring comfort and joy to ourselves and the ones we love and also to ease the pain.... |
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 Joined: September 2003 Posts: 9301
Location: south east Michigan | Schroeder said.... "- it will be a happy release for my mom -" I hope the next few days will bring some measure of peace.
The same future is unfolding for my mother. |
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Joined: November 2004 Posts: 4413
| Thanks to all you guys - and my thoughts and prayers go out to those who have just passed through this and those facing a truly distressing time to come.
Chatman's quite right - even when you have had years waitng for the inevitable it still comes as a shock. Anyway, like my brother just said on the phone, she's such a tough old bird she'll probably see this one through as well.
Anyway, off to bed - got a long drive tomorrow.
Thanks. |
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Joined: May 2003 Posts: 4389
Location: Capital District, NY, USA Minor Outlying Islands | I know what you mean about playing the guitar at times like this. Peace. |
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Joined: March 2005 Posts: 417
Location: Cicero, NY | If I may add my condolences as well. I've lost enough of my family to know how deep it strikes when that time comes. My prayers are with you. |
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Joined: March 2002 Posts: 15682
Location: SoCal | Hey man... All our prayers are with you. |
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Joined: September 2003 Posts: 782
Location: Waurika OK | Shroeder,
Sorry for this difficult time in your life.
It is a sacred trust when people allow you to be a part of their most intimate and trying times. You honor us, the fraternity of the OFC, by letting us share this difficult time.
You are right about the music, for probably all here, our music is a constant in the turmoil of life and we find solace in what we know and can cling to. It is okay to say it makes you feel better, because it truly does. |
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Joined: December 2004 Posts: 2150
Location: Orlando, FL | Good luck. Our prayers are with you. |
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Joined: November 2002 Posts: 3666
Location: Pacific Northwest Inland Empire | Endings, and beginnings. Closure, and opportunity. May we all share the journey.
Take care, Schroeder, and all my friends here. |
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Joined: February 2005 Posts: 112
Location: WV | Shroeder,
My deepest sympathies. Just know that all of our thoughts and prayers are with you. |
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Joined: April 2005 Posts: 42
Location: Ohio | Couldn't agree more with the sentiment. I am a novice with guitars, but have owned various other instruments all my life. I have a piano that I have played since it was made in 1962. I recently purchased a FD-14 after I had a 2-year relationship with the instrument. I had never played a guitar and I actually came back to the store about 10 times over a 2-year period. She spoke to me and I said, "yes". I'm getting to know her and learning the wonder of making music with a guitar. More than an object, my guitar is the potential expression of emotion and for that, I have abundant respect and admiration. |
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Joined: May 2002 Posts: 3005
Location: Las Cruces, NM | schroeder et al
I seem to remember after so many years the kinds of music my mother and dad and other close relatives who have moved on to where ever they went, and I am sure it is the better place and they are each totally immersed in their favorite type of music, dance bands for my mother, jazz for my father and country for some of my siblings. We enjoyed it while they were here and it was a way of being close, so you are right about music being a link to those we love and often a strong memory of their enjoyment of music when they were afflicted with other miseries and found escape in a song.
Bailey |
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Joined: August 2003 Posts: 2246
Location: Yucaipa, California | I'll add my prayers to those already ascending and full agreement that during difficult times music can and does help.... |
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Joined: October 2004 Posts: 180
Location: Chicagoland | I'm praying for you too. It's tough, I went through several family deaths myself this year. |
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 Joined: June 2002 Posts: 6202
Location: Phoenix AZ | Dear Schroeder,
My thoughts are with you. Ironic that in the past year so many of us here have lost our moms. I don't mean that to sound like "we've all been there, so get over it". No, everyone is unique and with all due respect to fathers, wives, children and other loved ones - your mother is the most important person in your life, like it or not. Do you get over the loss in time? Yes and no. It's you mother - how do you get ever over that? Dave |
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Joined: May 2002 Posts: 1026
Location: Back in the Valley of the Sun Mesa Az. | Amen. |
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Joined: January 2004 Posts: 1225
Location: Lake Hiawatha, New Jersey | I'm so sorry to hear about your Mother. I'm lucky enough to still have both of my parents alive and healthy. I did however, lose my best friend earlier this year. I would never try to compare the loss of a friend to the loss of a parent, but this was (and still is) a tough thing for me to deal with, especially given the fact that it was a suicide. He had struggled for years with his problems and finally could not fight anymore. I never shared this on this board before, but reading all of your posts every day was, and still is, a nice way to get my mind off of things for a while. |
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Joined: December 2004 Posts: 30
Location: Finland | So sorry to read about your mother Schroeder,
I think we are lucky to have music to express feelings. I have worked with several people during soon twenty years, who have had no ways to go through the sorrow and feeling icy and suffering from anxiety, depression and somatic problems. Music can touch people and help to get touch with the sorrow. Besides that talking about it is very important. These are difficult situations but make us stronger. |
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Joined: August 2002 Posts: 623
Location: Lake Hiawatha, New Jersey | Wishing you and your family peace and healing.
Johnny |
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Joined: July 2004 Posts: 338
Location: Omaha | Schroeder,
My thoughts and prayers for you, your mom and the rest of your family.
My wife's father died two weeks ago; it was a shock even though we knew it would happen "someday" because he'd had several heart attacks, and elected not to put himself on the list for a heart transplant. It still hits you hard.
At his funeral a friend of his sang "You are the Wind Beneath My Wings." Music speaks to us; there was not a dry eye in the place. I had to get up and speak right after that emotional outpouring... |
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Joined: June 2002 Posts: 1614
Location: Converse, Texas | My prayers are with you. |
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Joined: November 2004 Posts: 4413
| What can I say? A million thanks for all the prayers and good wishes.
18 hours after the latest "final" stroke she woke up and started taking fluids. There are of course peoiple out there who will tell you that prayers and kind thoughts amount to nothing. I am not one of those people.
My mum was born in total absolute poverty in 1917, and never weighed more than 110lbs in her life. She's less than 5' tall. She had 3 strapping children all of whom are 2 or 3 times her size. I tell you she is about a million times tougher than me. Or anybody I ever met. |
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Joined: November 2003 Posts: 11039
Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | Schroeder,
I'm just catching up with this thread. I hope that you can find solice in your your family's company, and my sincere wishes for your mother's comfort. |
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