Posted 2008-12-27 2:02 PM (#4959) Subject: Gals and YOUR Guitar habit
Joined: January 2006 Posts: 2120
How has it been for you? Does the gal in your life (girlfriend/wife) like your music and support you or is it a hot spot of contention? Does she like the same music you do and enjoy listening to you play? Does she cooperate in other aspects of the guitar habit? Tell the truth!
PS In my case, the same music, yes. But support runs a bit dry when it comes to band practice and gigs. She says she likes to hear me play, but I suspect she'd rather listen to something else (after 25 years).
Posted 2008-12-27 3:40 PM (#4962 - in reply to #4959) Subject: Re: Gals and YOUR Guitar habit
Joined: February 2008 Posts: 747
My wife used to play classical guitar but doesn't anymore. Won't pick up a guitar at all now and says it would take too much work to get back into it.
We have similar tastes with respect to classical music but she doesn't like the rougher music that I sometimes listen to. For example, if I start playing 32-20 Blues her instant response is George! NO!!
She likes some of the finger picking stuff that I compose myself but gets sick of listening to me play the same thing over and over for hours while I sort it out or practice - which is understandable, I wouldn't want to listen to it that long either if I wasn't playing it.
Posted 2008-12-27 4:17 PM (#4964 - in reply to #4959) Subject: Re: Gals and YOUR Guitar habit
Joined: March 2008 Posts: 2683
Location: Hot Springs, S.D.
Sorry, I know you were asking the guys, but I just had to get in on this. As most of you know, I've been married three times, and also had a few "semi-long-term" relationships. When I was with guitarists, we played different types of music and it caused a problem. Whenever one of us wanted to play, the other would think "good idea", but we could never play together. With my last ex, we just went into seperate rooms, but as we both wanted to play pretty much constantly, we didn't spend much time together.
When I was with non-musicians, it caused an even bigger problem. They wanted to do other stuff and got tired of me always "plunkin' on that d-----guitar". It also cause jealousy problems when I was in bands with (gasp!) MEN!
I'm alone now, and I think it's going to stay that way. I do what I want, when I want, and there's no one around to try making me feel guilty. I'm happier than I've ever been.
Posted 2008-12-27 4:24 PM (#4965 - in reply to #4959) Subject: Re: Gals and YOUR Guitar habit
Joined: January 2006 Posts: 2120
Amazing Cant. I have heard the guitar-jealousy story before. One wife even sneered at her ex that he would go off to have "guitar sex" with his bandmates (men, of course), or that the guitar was his "mistress"!
Posted 2008-12-27 5:03 PM (#4966 - in reply to #4959) Subject: Re: Gals and YOUR Guitar habit
Joined: August 2002 Posts: 8301
Kimby-D is my biggest fan. Very early in our marriage it became a me or music ultimatum. I chose the right path. Now she regrets her jealous demand. But we're not looking back on what could have been; we're looking forward to what will be. If something's right, it will come in time. Our time is coming. I'm glad it'll be with her.
Posted 2008-12-27 5:19 PM (#4967 - in reply to #4959) Subject: Re: Gals and YOUR Guitar habit
Joined: April 2006 Posts: 1017
Location: Budd Lake, NJ
If there were ever 180 degrees of difference in music, it was us. Me, classically-trained clarinetist, then Christian rock band. He, guitar-banjo-mando-fiddle bluegrass and old timey country. I intensely disliked the "through-the-adenoids" singing, he didn't like opera or rock. Finally, 5 years before he died, I began to come around, little by little--took up mando at his request, started to play guitar with his group of friends. Glad I did it before it was too late, because it saved me a whole lifetime of regrets.
I'm like Ali--single right now, and doing the music I love to do (To be fair, Jack was really supportive of my worship leading, though, and that was never an issue.) I do miss having someone to come and listen to me play; I really miss the husbandly feedback (good and bad.)
Posted 2008-12-27 5:32 PM (#4968 - in reply to #4959) Subject: Re: Gals and YOUR Guitar habit
Joined: April 2008 Posts: 2979
Location: Sydney, Australia
SWMBO and I have tried to play together but with limited success. However, this is not so much due to difference in musical tastes but differences along the perfectionist/It'll-be-alright-on-the-night scale. She is at the former end, having played classical piano up to 8th grade and I'm at the latter end, having belted around on the guitar with friends and in church (where you just keep going whatever happens).
As a result, if she makes a mistake (no matter how minor) the perfectionist in her wants to stop and go back, so we never get to go through the whole piece together - or by the time we do, I'm sick of that piece and want to play something else. Also, rhythm is the weak point for both of us, so we both tend to wander out of time a bit.
Posted 2008-12-27 7:01 PM (#4970 - in reply to #4959) Subject: Re: Gals and YOUR Guitar habit
Joined: June 2008 Posts: 74
Location: Agawam MA
My wife and I actually got together because of the guitar. She was asked to sing at a wedding and asked me to play the guitar while she sang. That was so much fun we started playing and singing and ended up gigging together. Love bloomed and 31 years lster we still play and sing together. (OK, she sings I make joyful noises which are usually only useful for keeping the tempo). Infact, in one week we will be performing at my youngest daughters wedding. We will be doing a great love song by Steven Curtis Chapman called "I Will Be Here".
We like alot of the same kinds of music but I have a liking for harder rock that she does.
Posted 2008-12-27 7:30 PM (#4971 - in reply to #4959) Subject: Re: Gals and YOUR Guitar habit
Joined: March 2002 Posts: 15403
I can't count the number of times I've seranaded my wife in the evening or that she's encouraged me to get a guitar that I felt like I shouldn't spend the money on, or hosted parties for my guitar playing buddies at my house. For Christmas she got me a Moody Leather guitar strap (maybe the world's best straps and most expensive!) for a guitar I have coming back from the factory.
Posted 2008-12-27 7:57 PM (#4973 - in reply to #4959) Subject: Re: Gals and YOUR Guitar habit
Joined: October 2006 Posts: 5575
Location: big island
the woman who is now my wife walked in to a venue i was playing music at. our eyes and hearts met at that instant. there was an informal sing-a-long with several friends after the show where we played and sang until the wee hours of the morning. the next evening, she and i performed a song together for the function. not long after we married, she surprised me with an adamas 1688 and has continuously encouraged my music since. we only disagree about one flavor of music; jazz, which i like and she doesn't. other than that, she now accompanies me with her ukulele and we are learning more songs together. she can sing like an angel and my voice is going through some major challenges so i am content to accompany her vocals.
Posted 2008-12-28 8:28 AM (#4975 - in reply to #4959) Subject: Re: Gals and YOUR Guitar habit
Joined: February 2008 Posts: 247
My girlfriend always wants to hear me play. She encourages me to buy the guitars and equipment I think would be useful, and to play whenever I can. We like the same type of music. I try to get her to sing along or do backing vocal tracks, but she doesn't like the way she sounds so she is reluctant to do so. She is working on her percussive rythym so she can join in with a tambourine, cowbell, wood block or shakers. Practice, practice, practice, and it's more fun with her. And of course I look a hell of a lot better with her standing next to me!
Posted 2008-12-28 9:01 AM (#4976 - in reply to #4959) Subject: Re: Gals and YOUR Guitar habit
Joined: December 2004 Posts: 2150
Location: Orlando, FL
I met my wife decades ago at a band practice session. The first thing I remember hearing her say to me was "I like the way you move your fingers" when we finished a song. She was very innocent back then and didn't mean it the way I took it, but she has liked to hear me play ever since then.
The only reason I got back into playing guitar after about about a dozen years off, was because of her encouragement. She said it would be a much needed stress reliever in my life, and boy was she right.
She has talked me into buying a bunch of guitars, that I would never have gotten without her blessing and encouragement.
Amazingly enough, she still seems to like to hear me play. As far as musical tastes go - we agree about 60% of the time. She has a fairly low tolerance for blues, which I love, and she doesn't like some of the heavy metal or prog that is my "guilty pleasure" music. But we do enjoy a lot of the same music.
She is my oldest and best friend. I am a very lucky guy!
Posted 2008-12-28 10:24 AM (#4977 - in reply to #4959) Subject: Re: Gals and YOUR Guitar habit
Joined: November 2004 Posts: 1330
Like Trader Jim my wife likes to hear me play drums but never had much intrest in my guitar playing. What intrest she had she lost after folling me around to gigs for 20 years. Funny thing is most the the girls i dated i met doing something with music. My wife knew i had been into music but only heard me play around the house for the first year or so. Then i took a job with a working artist and our life changed from all our time just me and her to all our time crowded in a van and later a bus with a bunch of other people. She liked the travel, i hate it. I like the time on stage , she was bored with the music after a couple years of it. Now she gos sometimes to hear me, mostly when its out of town and somewhere she likes to go anyway.
Posted 2008-12-28 12:31 PM (#4978 - in reply to #4959) Subject: Re: Gals and YOUR Guitar habit
Joined: November 2005 Posts: 4806
Location: Campbell River, British Columbia
Originally posted by The Artist (FKA Richard): if she makes a mistake (no matter
how minor) the perfectionist in her wants to stop and go back, [/QB]
Tell her all that happens when you do this is that you're rehearsing your mistakes.
Good music is not about how well you play, it's how well you play your mistakes.
My wife didn't know I played when we met. This was in the middle of a period
I put down the guitar 'forever' and three guitars were hidden in the back of a closet.
She wants me to play more and bought me a training program for Christmas
that I absently said; "That looks interesting." as we passed a music store. The only thing
she's not wildly supportive of is GAS, though another good guitar that definitely
does something new is acceptable....if saved for.
Posted 2008-12-28 3:25 PM (#4980 - in reply to #4959) Subject: Re: Gals and YOUR Guitar habit
Joined: September 2005 Posts: 3527
Location: GATLINBURG TENNESSEE :)
OK ... My name is Bryan ... and I'm a Guitar-a-holic. My wife "tolerates" the guitar purchasing within limits. For the longest time she didn't even know how many guitars I had, since I stuck mainly with Ovations and they had simular cases. I would stash them in different places and would NEVER put them all in one place. The gig was up one day when she was cleaning the house and decided to take a count out of curiosity. After a couple heated discussions about finances and priorities, I devised a plan ... Which I called "Scale down and Trade UP". I gradually went from 13 guitars down to 8 and ended up with much higher-quality instruments. As far as she was concerned, the number has decreased to nearly half of what I had, and I told her from here on out I'd only do one out/one in. She is not a musician, and she doesn't like to spend money on herself either, but at least she has listened to the speech about the differences in guitars and the reason for having different ones for different purposes. I think she has just accepted the fact that I only have two real vices ... Guitars and Guns, and she is probably happy that I don't spend my time out smokin', drinkin', and carousin'. (hey ... that sounds like it could be a song)
Posted 2008-12-28 6:21 PM (#4982 - in reply to #4959) Subject: Re: Gals and YOUR Guitar habit
Joined: October 2007 Posts: 2711
Location: Vernon CT
Originally posted by Fridave: My girlfriend always wants to hear me play. She encourages me to buy the guitars and equipment I think would be useful, and to play whenever I can. We like the same type of music. I try to get her to sing along or do backing vocal tracks, but she doesn't like the way she sounds so she is reluctant to do so. She is working on her percussive rythym so she can join in with a tambourine, cowbell, wood block or shakers. Practice, practice, practice, and it's more fun with her. And of course I look a hell of a lot better with her standing next to me!
Actually Fridave, As she is MUCH better looking then you............. ;)
Posted 2008-12-28 8:41 PM (#4984 - in reply to #4959) Subject: Re: Gals and YOUR Guitar habit
Joined: March 2008 Posts: 354
Location: Wichita, KS
My current sweetheart, Debbie, says she'll listen to anything but rap music, but I don't think she's all too fond of the jazz or eclectic rock I sometimes turn on. But I'm not so fond of the country that she likes, so when we're together we tend to stick with classic rock.
Deb says she loves to hear me play. She'll just curl up on a chair or couch and listen while I practice. She claims that I'm better than I admit. I counterclaim that she thinks I'm better than I really am. At any rate, she is much more supportive of my music than my ex...
Posted 2008-12-28 9:20 PM (#4985 - in reply to #4959) Subject: Re: Gals and YOUR Guitar habit
Joined: March 2005 Posts: 12694
Location: Boise, Idaho
We share the same taste in music, with a couple exceptions-she listens to Yanni and Delilah. I haven't heard her sing in years. She said she'd be embarassed compared to me, but she's not bad. She always enjoyed my playing. We bought my first Ovation so I could play it at our wedding and the OFC for our 30th Anniversary celebration. The rest she resisted or tolerated. She doesn't understand why I need so many, but neither do I.
Posted 2008-12-28 9:42 PM (#4986 - in reply to #4959) Subject: Re: Gals and YOUR Guitar habit
Joined: September 2008 Posts: 42
Location: Crossville, TN
I really couldn't ask for a more supportive wife, I lost all my equipment along with my our house including a custom Ibanez electric that she bought for me. I miss that guitar, but I was so very blessed to keep my children and the wonderful wife that I wouldn't trade all the guitars in the world for.
After the disaster my wife insisted I get back on the horse and had me looking for replacements. It took me awhile but I started slowly rebuilding my stable. If there was ever any doubt in my mind about her support it was erased when I went through some health issues the past few years and couldn't play, then have slowly started playing again (with her encouragement again of course). I've always been my worst critic, with a crazy wide range of music tastes, but my sweetie has always supported and encouraged me, She's been one of the only people that truly gets how much I love music and how happy it makes me just to play (even though she laughs sometimes when I go from James Taylor to foo fighters to brad paisley in the blink of an eye lol). I try, but I don't think I'll ever be able to show her how much she means to me.
Sorry to get mushy everyone but she's near and dear to my heart and I don't know how I could have went through everything I've been through without her.
Posted 2008-12-29 1:53 AM (#4987 - in reply to #4959) Subject: Re: Gals and YOUR Guitar habit
Joined: March 2008 Posts: 179
Location: Central Florida
Oooooh…. Tender subject.
That guitar/music jealousy thing that Canterbury and Dobro spoke of is exactly what shut me down for so long.
Sad, ugly story… maybe some late night jam campfire with a few glasses of Cabernet in me… :p
Anyway, cut to the epilogue. After right around 24 years of being pretty much musically dead due to a non-supportive… no… downright oppressive SWMBO, I’m finally regaining a little consciousness and finding that there’s still some notes left in me. Now if someone of the female persuasion wants to help me with those notes or even add some of her own to them, that’s cool. But ain’t NOBODY gonna take ‘em away again!
You guys with the fairy tale better halves, cherish them! You are truly to be envied.
...I'm preaching to the choir here, aren't I? :rolleyes:
Posted 2008-12-29 9:28 AM (#4988 - in reply to #4959) Subject: Re: Gals and YOUR Guitar habit
Joined: June 2002 Posts: 1614
Location: Converse, Texas
Fortunately my wife Lisa is my biggest fan! It didn't start out that way. When I returned from the 2005 factory tour and told her what a great time I had -- and she subsequently met some of you during the 2006 OFC-Texas gathering at Old Magnolia Town -- she started listening to me play and started signing with me. Now when I retreat tot he music room, she comes with me and admires my playing and participates with me. We sign at church together, and we get together with my guitar-playing buddies and she's right there by my side.
Love it! :D
PS: She also encouraged me to buy Tim's Adamas 1 12 string and cannot wait for it to come in so she can hear me play it! :D
Posted 2008-12-29 11:31 AM (#4990 - in reply to #4959) Subject: Re: Gals and YOUR Guitar habit
Joined: March 2002 Posts: 15403
PEZ, you don't look that good at all, but your girlfriend is beautiful (looks like a great person). You are blessed in that regard as many of us are with you female halves.
There's an interesting point being made by people here. And that's that if you're into music, it's good to marry somebody who's into the SAME music. My wife is only one year younger than me. We grew up listening to the same music and as a result, when I pick up my guitar and play for her, she knows the tunes. It's good to have the same reference points in life.......
Posted 2008-12-29 4:13 PM (#4998 - in reply to #4959) Subject: Re: Gals and YOUR Guitar habit
Joined: May 2004 Posts: 383
My G/F of the last 3 years (Terrie), Likes Country music and I like "Classic rock". She has never given me any hard times at all about having too many guitars(I have 61). She does come out once in a while to see me play and has always been very supportive. She is not a musician at all. Can barely play a radio. We've had about as bad of a year, this year, as I can imagine, and she stuck by me no matter what. I tell everyone that she is the best thing that ever happened to me. I mean every word.
Posted 2008-12-29 6:17 PM (#5000 - in reply to #4959) Subject: Re: Gals and YOUR Guitar habit
Joined: January 2006 Posts: 5875
Location: Colorado Rocky Mountains
SWMBO sings for a living. When our schedules permit, I sometimes accompany her. We had a few opportunities over the holidays including "Oh Holy Night" at a large candle light service. Its an honor to play for her, and she appreciates my accompaniment, but I still try to keep her out of the bandroom.
Posted 2008-12-29 9:01 PM (#5001 - in reply to #4959) Subject: Re: Gals and YOUR Guitar habit
Joined: January 2002 Posts: 14062
Location: 6 String Ranch
I've thought about this for the last couple of days. It's like this,
She's waiting for me to grow up and realize there are more important things in life than writing songs and playing guitar.
I'm waiting for her to realize that we've already done those things and they are not more important than writing songs and playing guitar.
Posted 2008-12-29 9:39 PM (#5002 - in reply to #4959) Subject: Re: Gals and YOUR Guitar habit
Joined: November 2005 Posts: 4806
Location: Campbell River, British Columbia
After a long diligent career as a bookkeeper my wife finally realized there are more important things than making scents. (sic) Now she's a full time fabric-artist seamstress, happier than she's ever been and at peace.
Money's still an issue, but no more or less than it was when we had two good sized paychecks coming in. That doesn't seem to change no matter what, so ignore it. (the fear, not the good sense.)
Posted 2008-12-29 10:09 PM (#5003 - in reply to #4959) Subject: Re: Gals and YOUR Guitar habit
Joined: March 2005 Posts: 5563
Location: Blue Ridge Mountains
Like Beal, I also thought about this for a day or so... (since I couldn't do much for several days...)
My wife is not only my best friend, she is my confidant and my critic...she pulls no punches and allows me to indulge my passion as long as it does not take away from our responsibilities...I sold my entire collection to finance her during the year it took for her to go back and forth from Minsk, Belarus to the US Consulate in Warsaw, Poland...7 round trips and all that it took to have records copied in several languages...plus Airfare to the US and all of the fees associated with getting her citizenship...
Over the past four years, she has allowed me to rebuild the collection and supported me in my decisions...
She likes music but (as she puts it): “liked my voice as much or more than the guitar”: it's the message of the song she likes...
I am more than blessed...