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Joined: November 2003 Posts: 11039
Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | Been laid up the last few days with a nasty bug and to pass time I've been watching some tv...
Have you ever seen a movie that was so bad, you had to watch it out of pure disbelief? You know, HILARIOUSLY BAD!
Well, I've seen some stinkers in my day, But "Legion of Fire-Killer Ants" is simply without peer. Easily the worst movie I have EVER seen. I can't stop watching it I'm laughing so hard. It's soooo bad. It stars the guy who played the FBI captain on X-Files...
Boy, I bet he wakes up every morning regreting this one...
There is just nothing good about this film. Insipid dialogue, rancid acting, totally implausable plot and special effects so laughably bad i can't wait for the next...
Do yourself a favor and watch this if you ever get a chance. You'll bust a gut.
(honestly, how DO these movies ever get made??) |
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Joined: January 2004 Posts: 338
Location: SE Michigan | "Independence Day" The only thing scarier than this film is the fact that it was so popular, just goes to show you the intellectual level of our nation's youth. Kind of like the WWF, do I want to live in a country where the WWF is the most watched sport among teenagers?
The movie starts well enough, great special effects and concept. Then it rapidly flames out in the lamest stupidest most retarded story line imaginable.
Lets see, the aliens can vaporize a city, but Will Smith can out-fly them and then punches one in the nose…..right. Or the mother ship gets attacked by a crop dusting Bi-plane….right…..I get it.
"Anyone hear ever want to fly a F15?"
Easily in the top 10 stupidest movies I have ever seen. |
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 Joined: December 2003 Posts: 13996
Location: Upper Left USA | I am still digesting "Sean of the Dead".
"Quest for Fire" and "Office Space" are still my favorites. |
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 Joined: August 2002 Posts: 8307
Location: Tennessee | Ishtar |
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 Joined: December 2003 Posts: 13996
Location: Upper Left USA | Aye, Ishtar is on the bottom! |
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 Joined: February 2005 Posts: 11840
Location: closely held secret | Surf Nazis Must Die. |
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Joined: October 2005 Posts: 5331
Location: Cicero, NY | Absolutely anything with Patrick Swayze. Really. Pick one. Any one. And this is not negotiable. Leading this list has to be 'Roadhouse' which includes one of my all time favorite STUPID lines -
"Pain doesn't hurt." (And, yes, the delivery of that pearl is not to be missed)
For the love of God, who writes this? |
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Joined: December 2004 Posts: 2150
Location: Orlando, FL | Evil Alien Conquerors. I had to keep watching it just to see if it was really as bad as I thought it was.
It could only have neen worse if Patrick Swayze was in it. |
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 Joined: July 2005 Posts: 3410
Location: GA USA | Supercop with Terrence (Trinity) Hill
Krull
Superman 3 & 4 |
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Joined: March 2002 Posts: 14842
Location: NJ | 2 Words:
Hulk
Hogan |
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Joined: March 2005 Posts: 12759
Location: Boise, Idaho | During the last 10 years or so that we had teenagers in the house, it was almost guaranteed that if we saw one of these that were total POCs, our daughters and there friends had seen it or were going to see it. |
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Joined: January 2004 Posts: 1225
Location: Lake Hiawatha, New Jersey | Speaking of Hulk. What about "The Hulk" movie? I've seen better special effects in an old Atari 2600 game. |
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Joined: October 2005 Posts: 803
Location: Avondale, AZ | How about the Tom Cruise movie were he plays the cocky young guy. |
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Joined: October 2005 Posts: 400
Location: North Texas | I recently saw a Nicole Kidman movie in which she thought a ten year old boy was her dead husband. That had to be one of the most meaningless, idiotic, anticlimactic, insipid, nonsensical movies I've ever watched. Cineblah.
By the way, Tom Cruise is now playing more mature parts, cocky older guys.
I may crazy, but I liked Ishtar. I laughed through the whole movie and enjoyed it very much. |
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Joined: May 2004 Posts: 2850
Location: Midland, MI | Cruise was good in Magnolia or whatever the one was where he was the motivational speaker. Other than that, I don't care for him.
If you want a funny, but totally brain-dead stupid movie, try 'Super Troopers.' 'The Whole Nine Yards' was also a 'so-stupid-its-funny' movie. Just about anything on the Sci-Fi channel that they've produced themselves is bad. |
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 Joined: April 2004 Posts: 13303
Location: Latitude 39.56819, Longitude -105.080066 | The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra...
This is a new movie (2004) that was intentionally made to spoof the sci-fi movies of the 50's (and in b/w).
I HIGHLY RECOMMEND anyone wanting to watch a "so bad it's hilarious" takeoff of the old movies to run out and rent this movie......from the incredible one liners deadpanned into the camera to the visible wires controlling the skeleton, this movie is an absolute classic! |
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Joined: December 2001 Posts: 10583
Location: NJ | at the recommendation of mr templeman, stonge picked up 'team america' ed and karen watched it, they passed it along to sue and I and we passed it along to a friend.....who may not remain a friend much longer.... |
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 Joined: April 2004 Posts: 13303
Location: Latitude 39.56819, Longitude -105.080066 | Ohhhh...good call Al.
That is definately right up there with the best of the worst. |
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Joined: March 2002 Posts: 14842
Location: NJ | I thought TeamAmerica was funny as hell . . . |
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 Joined: April 2004 Posts: 13303
Location: Latitude 39.56819, Longitude -105.080066 | Isn't that the point.....movies so bad that they are enjoyable to watch and make fun of?
Cliff...you NEED to rent The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra... |
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Joined: December 2004 Posts: 2150
Location: Orlando, FL | Lost Skeleton is a GREAT movie. Especially if you ever watched old sci-fi movies as a kid.
And Team America is so wrong, and so funny. |
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Joined: November 2003 Posts: 11039
Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub |
...now that's just plain funny |
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Joined: March 2002 Posts: 14842
Location: NJ | Anybody seen "The Aristocrats"?? |
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Joined: December 2004 Posts: 1116
Location: Keller, TX | MARS ATTACKS has got to be up there. I agree with Ishtar too. |
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Joined: February 2005 Posts: 349
Location: Snellville, GA | The Godfather III! |
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Joined: November 2003 Posts: 11039
Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | I'm dying to see"the aristocrats"...hard to find a place to catch it round these parts |
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 Joined: September 2003 Posts: 9301
Location: south east Michigan | Gee...I kinda liked Independence Day. Then again I also like "The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai-Across the 8th Dimension".
"Team America" was very, very funny. |
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Joined: May 2004 Posts: 2850
Location: Midland, MI | Mars Attacks was *not* a bad movie. Ttenn is now on double-top-secret administrative probation.
EDIT: In the interest of full disclosure, I own two copies of Mars Attakcs, both on DVD. :eek: |
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Joined: December 2004 Posts: 1116
Location: Keller, TX | TWO?? That movie was UNBEARABLE! I'd rather have my fingernails pulled off one at a time that have to sit through that one again. "Administrative probation?" I'd rather be banned and have to play a Taylor that endure/suffer that again.
:p :eek: :confused: |
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 Joined: February 2005 Posts: 11840
Location: closely held secret | Mars Attacks is a classic!! Ack! Ack!
Just for the record, I also like Independence Day... |
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Joined: May 2004 Posts: 2850
Location: Midland, MI | UNBEARABLE???? HERESY! You, you, you, HERETIC!
;)
What was so bad about 'Kak-kak, kak, kak-kak?' Or, the scene where Pierce Brosnan fires up the translator and Nicholson says, 'What are they saying?' And Brosnan says, 'I think they're saying, We come in peace.' Then the Martians start firing on everyone. It's hilarious! Slim Whitman?! What other movie has Slim Whitman in the soundtrack?
Pure Genious!
"I want the people to know that they still have 2 out of 3 branches of the government working for them, and that ain't bad."
Come on, Nicholson's portrayal of Pres. James Dale was prophetic of Bush the Younger! Read the lines, man!
:rolleyes:
Next you'll tell me that you don't think Citizen Kane was the greatest movie ever made.
Pfft.
;) |
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Joined: October 2005 Posts: 400
Location: North Texas | You want bad movies, just watch any sequel to Godzilla. |
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Joined: March 2005 Posts: 12759
Location: Boise, Idaho | Mars Attacks was from the same genre as Beavis and Butthead. Some people loved that stuff. If Americans had any class, B and B would never have been famous. |
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Joined: December 2001 Posts: 10583
Location: NJ | team america had moments that were funny, and I really enjoyed the satire but it was not the roll on the floor slap your knee laugh with fluid coming out of your nose funny film as presented.
but maybe I just don't get out much |
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 Joined: December 2003 Posts: 13996
Location: Upper Left USA | Are we speaking with sub titles? |
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Joined: March 2005 Posts: 2791
Location: Atlanta, GA. | Mars Attacks has to be one of the BEST "tongue-n-cheek" movies ever made... I LOVE IT!!!
Slim Whitman's voice has always made my head feel like it would explode... kinda makes me wonder. |
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 Joined: September 2003 Posts: 9301
Location: south east Michigan | "Team America" triggers that part of the brain that desperatly needs to laugh but is usually subdued because of basic human ethics. |
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Joined: March 2002 Posts: 14842
Location: NJ | "human ethics"
. . . there's an oxymoron for ya'. |
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Joined: August 2003 Posts: 396
| ROADHOUSE with Patrick Swayze. It is so unintentionally funny. At the beginning, the scene where he is stitching his own cut is great.
Yes, local bars do seek out the world's toughest bouncers from around the country just like pro athletes. It's so bad that it's good. Actually, Patrck Swayze could have a couple on the list. |
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Joined: December 2004 Posts: 1116
Location: Keller, TX | Originally posted by Mark in Boise:
Mars Attacks was from the same genre as Beavis and Butthead. Some people loved that stuff. I guess that is why I can't stand Beavus or Butthead.
If Americans had any class, B and B would never have been famous. Um, well, True. |
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Joined: October 2005 Posts: 400
Location: North Texas | I've never seen Beavis and Butthead, so I can't comment. I have a strict policy of never watching any movie with butthead in the title. I did like Mars Attacks. It was wacko, but not a bad movie. In fact, it was a big budget feature film with a stellar cast. It provided plenty of laughs at my house. Spoof movies are designed to be stupid. The more ridiculous, the better. Zoolander? |
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 Joined: July 2005 Posts: 3410
Location: GA USA | Y'know... I said Super Cop. It may have been Super Fuzz. Anyway, it was horrible.
My all time favorite movie is probably on a lot of people's worst list... I love Time Bandits... love it!
I didn't say it was the best movie I've seen. That would be Rear Window. Grace Kelly was gorgeous in that. |
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Joined: November 2003 Posts: 11039
Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | I like everything by Terry Gilliam.
His new one "The Brothers Grimm" should be out next year. |
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Joined: November 2004 Posts: 37
Location: Warwick, RI | Anaconda! So bad, I had to watch it again to make sure it really was that bad. |
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Joined: July 2005 Posts: 176
| Eddie Murphy as a Vampire.
Eddie Murphy as an African prince working in McDonalds.
Eddie Murphy in anything that wasn't 48 hours. |
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 Joined: July 2005 Posts: 3410
Location: GA USA | Eddie was great in Mulan.
Here's a question I thought of:
Is (A) Chris Rock the poor man's Eddie Murphy...
Or is (B) Chris Tucker the poor man's Eddie Murphy...
Or (C) has Eddie Murphy in fact become the poor man's Eddie Murphy? |
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 Joined: September 2003 Posts: 9301
Location: south east Michigan | "C" |
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Joined: February 2004 Posts: 2487
| Quest for Fire had me lauging the whole way through! They should have tried to make that more of a Comedy out of this than an educational film? Or whatever that was?
Randy |
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Joined: November 2002 Posts: 1300
Location: Madison, Wisconsin | I have to agree with the Captain on Time Bandits as well as Willow, The Princess Bride, and Neverending Story (Part 1 Only!) |
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Joined: October 2005 Posts: 400
Location: North Texas | Chris Rock- very funny
Eddie Murphy- with a good script is ok
Chris Tucker- funny
Bad movie- Hurcules in Hollywood. starring Arnie |
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 Joined: February 2003 Posts: 2178
Location: the BIG Metropolis of TR | Any movie with Jean-Claude Van Damme.....what a putz. |
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Joined: December 2004 Posts: 1116
Location: Keller, TX | I hate to say it, since I'm already on the double-secret administrative probation for that whole MARS ATTACKS thing, but I love the Princess Bride. I can almost quote the whole thing (its been a few years since I last saw it). |
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 Joined: September 2003 Posts: 9301
Location: south east Michigan | Did someone put "Princess Bride" on their bad list??? Who??? When??? To put that movie on any "bad" list is...well...it's inconceivable!!! |
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Joined: December 2001 Posts: 10583
Location: NJ | 12 monkeys is another movie I hate
It was filmed in philly and I watched it for the kensington section of phila references but other than that it was unwatchable.
gigli I lasted 5 minutes
ishtar 15 minutes |
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Joined: October 2005 Posts: 400
Location: North Texas | I've never heard of anyone who liked 12 monkeys. A friend warned me not to waste my money so I didn't. |
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Joined: November 2003 Posts: 11039
Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | I liked 12 Monkeys...
....but then, I like Ovations. |
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 Joined: February 2005 Posts: 11840
Location: closely held secret | Princess Bride, Mars Attacks, 12 Monkeys, Disney's the Kid... I love all these.
I refuse to watch anything with Van Damme or Steven Seagal. |
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Joined: November 2003 Posts: 11039
Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | "my name is Enigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die" |
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 Joined: February 2005 Posts: 11840
Location: closely held secret | "Good night, Westley. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning." |
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 Joined: February 2003 Posts: 2178
Location: the BIG Metropolis of TR | Oh yeah, I forgot about Seagal.....He walks like he has a cob up his arse, maybe that explains why he always has that sqinty-eyed,constipated look! |
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 Joined: February 2005 Posts: 11840
Location: closely held secret | Originally posted by Trboy:
Oh yeah, I forgot about Seagal.....He walks like he has a cob up his arse That keeps him from producing methane. Environmentalist, don't ya know. Doesn't want to contribute to global warming. Too bad his movies stink so bad... |
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Joined: February 2002 Posts: 5750
Location: Scotland | Team America has to be one of my favourite movies of all time. The sex scene cracks me up every time. Mars attacks is great too.
I'm surprised that noone has mentioned Ed Wood Jnrs work. He is officially the worst movie director of all time and his films are just painful. Especially the godawful classic "Plan 9 From Outerspace" I bought the DVD boxed set of his entire output on my last trip accross the pond. The Johnny Depp bio pic "Ed Wood" is worth seeing
http://www.edwood.org/ |
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 Joined: April 2004 Posts: 13303
Location: Latitude 39.56819, Longitude -105.080066 | I have his entire collection on laser disc and I agree....also as you mentioned, the Johnny Depp bio pic is excellent. |
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Joined: March 2002 Posts: 14842
Location: NJ | ". . I have his entire collection on laser disc . ."
I have it on Super8. |
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 Joined: April 2004 Posts: 13303
Location: Latitude 39.56819, Longitude -105.080066 | Pirate! |
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 Joined: December 2004 Posts: 4394
Location: East Tennessee | I was watching a show on CMT this weekend about Johnny Cash. They listed Steven Seagal as a musician. Did I miss something in His career? :confused:
Maybe there's hope for the rest of us. :D |
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Joined: December 2001 Posts: 10583
Location: NJ | there is a movie called showgirls or something like that. It is pretty bad except for the topless scenes. not that I would condone watching anything like that ... |
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Joined: March 2002 Posts: 14842
Location: NJ | That's the one with Elizabeth Berkley and Gina Gershon.
(Not that I've seen it . . or know anything about it . . .) |
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Joined: December 2001 Posts: 10583
Location: NJ | cliff
I think you are correct not that I would know anything about it aside from a strictly academic nature. |
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Joined: November 2002 Posts: 1300
Location: Madison, Wisconsin | Sure ruined Ms. Berkley's career! |
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Joined: October 2005 Posts: 64
| Simply stated, Gina Gershon is a goddess. 'Nuff said.
Also, while on the subject, Cocktail (w/ Cruise, Gershon and Bryan Brown) and the F/X (with Bryan Brown and Brian Dennehy) movies are pure cheese, but I ALWAYS watch them.
"Coughlin's Law...." |
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Joined: March 2002 Posts: 14842
Location: NJ | any movie with Adam Sandler in it. |
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Joined: August 2003 Posts: 2246
Location: Yucaipa, California | ...anything with Annette and Tommy in it..... |
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 Joined: February 2005 Posts: 11840
Location: closely held secret | Originally posted by cliff:
any movie with Adam Sandler in it. Ditto. Maybe with the exception of Happy Gilmore. The fight scene on the golf course where he gets his butt kicked by Bob Barker is almost worth sitting through the entire movie. |
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Joined: March 2002 Posts: 14842
Location: NJ | Agreed.
"Mixed Nuts" gets an exception as well, since he only plays a small part - and he's SUPPOSED t'be annoying. |
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Joined: October 2005 Posts: 64
| Any of the 'Vacation' movies, beyond the first installment. |
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Joined: March 2002 Posts: 14842
Location: NJ | The "Christmas" Vacation one is a classic. |
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 Joined: February 2005 Posts: 11840
Location: closely held secret | Oh, yeah.
Eddie: "I don't know if I oughta go sailin' down no hill with nothin' between the ground and my brains but a piece of government plastic."
Clark: "Do you really think it matters, Eddie? " |
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Joined: March 2002 Posts: 14842
Location: NJ | ". . That ain't no friggin' Christmas Stah . . it's the sewage treatment plant . ."
-Uncle Lewis
(R.I.P. William Hickey. You rocked!;-) |
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 Joined: February 2005 Posts: 11840
Location: closely held secret | "Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?" |
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Joined: March 2002 Posts: 14842
Location: NJ | ". . It's a bit nipply in here, isn't it?? . ." |
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 Joined: February 2005 Posts: 11840
Location: closely held secret | Eddie: You surprised to see us, Clark?
Clark: Oh, Eddie... If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am now. |
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Joined: October 2005 Posts: 64
| Originally posted by Waskel:
Eddie: You surprised to see us, Clark?
Clark: Oh, Eddie... If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am now. :D |
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Joined: January 2004 Posts: 1225
Location: Lake Hiawatha, New Jersey | And who can forget the classic "mornin'....the shitter was full" |
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 Joined: February 2005 Posts: 11840
Location: closely held secret | Preceded by...
Ellen: What are you looking at?
Clark: Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn... the clean, cool chill of the holiday air... an ass in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer... |
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Joined: October 2005 Posts: 5331
Location: Cicero, NY | I dare anyone to say those movies were not incredibly funny. Some spots certainly more fun than others but, come on, there's some great writing. And casting - who'da thunk of casting Tim Russert as Cousin Eddie? |
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Joined: November 2003 Posts: 11039
Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | I'm going to say this ONCE, then deny it hereverafter.
The only thing worth wacthing from Adam Sandler, other than getting properly boxed by Bob Barker, was the ukulele serenade for Drew Berrymore in "50 First Dates"
...I feel so dirty. |
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 Joined: September 2003 Posts: 9301
Location: south east Michigan | uke! uke! uke! uke! uke! uke! uke! uke! uke! uke! uke! uke! uke! uke! uke! uke!
Just to stay on topic..."I Robot" was awful. A total disgrace to Asimov. It makes such a big deal of the 3 laws of robotics then proceeds to break them in the first five minutes.
I t - s t u n k! |
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Joined: February 2002 Posts: 5750
Location: Scotland | Any of you guys seen "Extras" on HBO? |
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Joined: November 2003 Posts: 11039
Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | YES!!!
FU@KING RIOT!!! |
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Joined: February 2002 Posts: 5750
Location: Scotland | The DVD of the first season just came out over here, the Ben Stiller, Patrick Stewart and Kate Winslet episodes are incredible. I nearly soiled myself laughing. |
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Joined: November 2003 Posts: 11039
Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | Ben & Patrick S.
Needed to dry clean the sofa cushions. |
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Joined: October 2005 Posts: 64
| Though I watch them anytime they're on...anything by John Hughes.
Molly Ringwald is a cheap whore. |
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Joined: November 2004 Posts: 4413
| The '05 Tour DVD did it for me. |
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Joined: March 2002 Posts: 14842
Location: NJ | Haven't seen it.
(s'It that bad?? :-) |
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Joined: November 2005 Posts: 1126
Location: Omaha, NE | Originally posted by Jeff W.:
Have you ever seen a movie that was so bad, you had to watch it out of pure disbelief? You know, HILARIOUSLY BAD!
"Timeline". They took a reasonably decent Michael Crichton novel and turned it into just about the stupidest thing you could ever imagine.
My two favorite lines (I won't bother setting these up. If you haven't seen the movie, don't bother):
"Wait!!! Be careful!"
and
"It's me!!! It's me!!! It's ME!!!"
Cheers!
Jeff |
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Joined: October 2005 Posts: 64
| Jeff
~I haven't seen one decent Crichton book-to-movie conversion ~ MAYBE Rising Sun. |
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 Joined: September 2003 Posts: 9301
Location: south east Michigan | For a good Crichton movie you have to go waaaaay back to "The Andromeda Strain". |
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Joined: October 2005 Posts: 400
Location: North Texas | Timeline was a good read, have not seen the movie. The sequel to Starship Troopers was pretty cheezy. |
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Joined: March 2002 Posts: 14842
Location: NJ | I read a book called "Timeline" a LONG time ago.
Had t'do with someone in LaJolla, California communicating with someone in England (in the future)utilizing Magnetic Resonance as a carrier wave . . .
We talkin' the same book?? |
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 Joined: February 2005 Posts: 11840
Location: closely held secret | Timeline the film sucked. Maybe it didn't help that I expected it to, after Congo, Sphere, Disclosure, blah, blah, blah. I don't know why someone who writes such good novels lets them be butchered so bad on the screen, except for money.
I used to get excited seeing one of his was going to be filmed, now I just dread it. I hope they don't do Prey or Airframe.
For the record, I mostly enjoyed the Jurassic Park films (except for the cheesy dialogue). Not that they had much in common with the books... |
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 Joined: February 2005 Posts: 11840
Location: closely held secret | Originally posted by cliff:
I read a book called "Timeline" a LONG time ago.
Had t'do with someone in LaJolla, California communicating with someone in England (in the future)utilizing Magnetic Resonance as a carrier wave . . .
We talkin' the same book?? No. This one is time travel, but physically. Great read. Lousy movie. |
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