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OT: Hardest thing I've ever done
BT717
Posted 2008-12-30 3:44 PM (#4610)
Subject: OT: Hardest thing I've ever done


Joined:
October 2007
Posts: 2711

Location: Vernon CT
Sorry to bring something so personal "here" but I feel a bond with many of you even though we have never meet.
I had to go down to say my goodbyes to my Father. He has Prostrate cancer which went to his bones and 2 weeks ago to his Brain. I told him he could close his eyes and rest. That we will be ok and be there for each other. Very difficult to see a man with the pride he had in that condition. Hospice said could be hours or a day or two. Many of you have gone through this, some recently with a loved one. It's not easy for anyone of us, but with the support we all give each other in "bad" times, it help tremendously.

A special thank-you and shout out to Mike (Crimsonlake) for taking the time to figure out
a song for me, "Short trip home".We were going to play it on Christmas Day for my Dad along with Edelwiess and a few others of his faivorite Holiday songs, but, due to his Illness , never got the chance. I found out today from my sister that we will be playing it at my Father's Memorial service in March. Mike's generosity and selflesness is what makes this group special.
Thank-you for allowing me to express my feelings
and loss.

Bob
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stephent28
Posted 2008-12-30 3:52 PM (#4611 - in reply to #4610)
Subject: Re: OT: Hardest thing I've ever done



Joined:
April 2004
Posts: 13287

Location: Latitude 39.56819, Longitude -105.080066
Sorry to hear especially this time of year.
When my dad passed away I was also able to talk to him and listen to his instructions for taking care of mom. Sad to see someone who was rarely ever sick to succumb to a cancer.

At least you had the comfort of being able to visit with him that one last time. I always feel sorry for those who never properly get to say goodbye to a loved one because of sudden tragedy.

Take care.
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Slipkid
Posted 2008-12-30 3:54 PM (#4612 - in reply to #4610)
Subject: Re: OT: Hardest thing I've ever done



Joined:
September 2003
Posts: 9301

Location: south east Michigan
I'm sorry for your loss.
I hope you find comfort in being able to say goodbye.
It doesn't always happen that way.
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CrimsonLake
Posted 2008-12-30 3:57 PM (#4613 - in reply to #4610)
Subject: Re: OT: Hardest thing I've ever done


Joined:
August 2006
Posts: 3145

Location: Marlton, NJ
Bob,

My heart goes out to you and your family for what you are going through. I went through something similar with my Grandfather a few years ago and it is gut-wrenching to see someone go through such drastic changes so quickly.

Music is something that I - that we all - love and it means so much to me that there is some meaning to it. The fact that you and your Sister will be playing the song will mean so much to your family and will help to keep your Dad's memory alive.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
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Tim in Yucaipa
Posted 2008-12-30 3:58 PM (#4614 - in reply to #4610)
Subject: Re: OT: Hardest thing I've ever done


Joined:
August 2003
Posts: 2246

Location: Yucaipa, California
I feel for you Bob.

I went through that with both parents several years ago and just letting them know that it's "ok to go" can sometimes be the best thing you can do for them. It's also "ok to grieve"...don't swallow it and keep it inside....
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schroeder
Posted 2008-12-30 4:18 PM (#4615 - in reply to #4610)
Subject: Re: OT: Hardest thing I've ever done


Joined:
November 2004
Posts: 4413

I know what you're going through. My sympathies.
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lanaki
Posted 2008-12-30 4:26 PM (#4616 - in reply to #4610)
Subject: Re: OT: Hardest thing I've ever done


Joined:
October 2006
Posts: 5575

Location: big island
aloha bob,
i extend my heartfelt prayers and sympathies also.
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MusicMishka
Posted 2008-12-30 4:27 PM (#4617 - in reply to #4610)
Subject: Re: OT: Hardest thing I've ever done


Joined:
March 2005
Posts: 5563

Location: Blue Ridge Mountains
Bob, I've also been through this w/my Dad years ago...it's tough but you are blessed to have been able to be with him...as Brad said, it doesn't always work out that way...
We will be lifting you and your family up during this difficult time...
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G8r
Posted 2008-12-30 4:36 PM (#4618 - in reply to #4610)
Subject: Re: OT: Hardest thing I've ever done


Joined:
November 2006
Posts: 3969

Bob, you have our heartfelt thoughts and prayers in this tough time. My dad succumbed to pancreatic cancer in the space of 6 weeks. When he was diagnosed he was still walking 5 miles a day (in his early 80's). It's very hard to see such a rapid decline in someone who was such a strong and vital part of you, but take comfort in being able to say your goodbyes, and knowing how proud you made him by how you live your life. Our deepest sympathies.

Serge
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Jeff W.
Posted 2008-12-30 4:45 PM (#4619 - in reply to #4610)
Subject: Re: OT: Hardest thing I've ever done


Joined:
November 2003
Posts: 11039

Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub
My condolences.
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Waskel
Posted 2008-12-30 4:48 PM (#4620 - in reply to #4610)
Subject: Re: OT: Hardest thing I've ever done



Joined:
February 2005
Posts: 11829

Location: closely held secret
Bob, my deepest sympathies as well, and my prayers. In any group like this you will find many who can relate to exactly what you are going through - you are not alone.

Christmas Eve we said goodbye to a very close friend... much more like a sister, whose lymphoma had migrated to her brain. We held a memorial service for her Sunday. I lead the music, and it was one of the hardest days of my life.
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Weaser P
Posted 2008-12-30 4:53 PM (#4621 - in reply to #4610)
Subject: Re: OT: Hardest thing I've ever done


Joined:
October 2005
Posts: 5280

Location: Cicero, NY
Sorry for your loss, Bob. Glad you had a few moments to share with him before he passed.
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Posted 2008-12-30 5:11 PM (#4622 - in reply to #4610)
Subject: Re: OT: Hardest thing I've ever done
Jonmark Stone
Posted 2008-12-30 5:12 PM (#4623 - in reply to #4610)
Subject: Re: OT: Hardest thing I've ever done


Joined:
May 2008
Posts: 1420

Location: Indy
February will be 8 years for me.
Remember the good Bob.
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Trader Jim
Posted 2008-12-30 5:17 PM (#4624 - in reply to #4610)
Subject: Re: OT: Hardest thing I've ever done


Joined:
June 2006
Posts: 7307

Location: South of most, North of few
Bob, you are in my prayers. It was great talking with you tonight. Be strong my friend.
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stonebobbo
Posted 2008-12-30 5:46 PM (#4625 - in reply to #4610)
Subject: Re: OT: Hardest thing I've ever done



Joined:
August 2002
Posts: 8301

Location: California
My dad too fought the valiant fight ... he so wanted to be strong and beat the small cell carcinoma that ate him up. I spent the last five weeks with him at his home and then in hospital. He lived in the Netherlands and I think it was harder for the other family members back in California. I still remember clasping his hand and telling him it was OK if he had to go ... that I would make sure everyone, especially his wife, would be taken care of. I felt a great weight lift from him, and then he was gone. Yes it was hard. But I wouldn't trade the memory for anything.

Both you and your Father are two very lucky men. Peace be with you.
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guitarwannabee
Posted 2008-12-30 5:50 PM (#4626 - in reply to #4610)
Subject: Re: OT: Hardest thing I've ever done


Joined:
January 2006
Posts: 1442

Location: Michigan
We all will grieve with you Bob .That is the nice thing here you have another 7000 friends that are standing by your side.My condolences.GWB
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Bluebird
Posted 2008-12-30 5:57 PM (#4627 - in reply to #4610)
Subject: Re: OT: Hardest thing I've ever done



Joined:
May 2002
Posts: 1443

Location: Nova Scotia, Canada
Very sorry to hear of your loss, Bob.
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CanterburyStrings
Posted 2008-12-30 5:58 PM (#4628 - in reply to #4610)
Subject: Re: OT: Hardest thing I've ever done


Joined:
March 2008
Posts: 2683

Location: Hot Springs, S.D.
Bob, I am so sorry. You are in my prayers.I held my mom's hand while she passed, and I know it was harder on me than it was on her. She was so worried about her 17 year old dog that she couldn't let go. Well, the dog had died earlier that same day, and when I told her "I've got one hand, and Jesus has the other. Go with Him and He'll take you home to see Daddy. And Buttons will meet you there too." She smiled, and then she died. Now I've got to go dry my eyes.
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mtnbikerfred
Posted 2008-12-30 6:04 PM (#4629 - in reply to #4610)
Subject: Re: OT: Hardest thing I've ever done


Joined:
March 2005
Posts: 1421

Location: Orange County, California
Prayers and condolences Bob. I had a customer and friend for years who despite looking and feeling pretty good, found out he was dying of cancer. Saying goodbye sucks.
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TOPDOGJIM
Posted 2008-12-30 6:37 PM (#4630 - in reply to #4610)
Subject: Re: OT: Hardest thing I've ever done


Joined:
February 2008
Posts: 158

Location: South Windsor Connecticut
Sorry to hear that Bob. Stay strong Bob, I will be praying for you and your family.

Jim
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cpotter73
Posted 2008-12-30 6:43 PM (#4631 - in reply to #4610)
Subject: Re: OT: Hardest thing I've ever done


Joined:
September 2008
Posts: 42

Location: Crossville, TN
You and yours are in my prayers and thoughts Bob.
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2ifbyC
Posted 2008-12-30 6:53 PM (#4632 - in reply to #4610)
Subject: Re: OT: Hardest thing I've ever done
Joined:
December 2006
Posts: 6268

Location: Florida Central Gulf Coast
Bob,

My heart aches with your loss. It's so difficult to say 'good-bye for now'!

Peace and rich blessings to you and yours...
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fillhixx
Posted 2008-12-30 6:57 PM (#4633 - in reply to #4610)
Subject: Re: OT: Hardest thing I've ever done



Joined:
November 2005
Posts: 4806

Location: Campbell River, British Columbia
Big hug. Wish we could ease your loss.
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sligoman
Posted 2008-12-30 7:28 PM (#4634 - in reply to #4610)
Subject: Re: OT: Hardest thing I've ever done


Joined:
October 2007
Posts: 283

Location: Portland, OR
It is never easy. Words don't help much except that they impart the message that everyone goes through it.

I think I saw this song posted here last year, but it is particularly appropriate, I think:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8590o8A4iU8
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Capo Guy
Posted 2008-12-30 8:15 PM (#4635 - in reply to #4610)
Subject: Re: OT: Hardest thing I've ever done



Joined:
December 2004
Posts: 4394

Location: East Tennessee
Bob,

My prayers go out to you and the rest of your family.
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BT717
Posted 2008-12-30 8:38 PM (#4636 - in reply to #4610)
Subject: Re: OT: Hardest thing I've ever done


Joined:
October 2007
Posts: 2711

Location: Vernon CT
Originally posted by fillhixx:
Big hug. Wish we could ease your loss.
Wow! Thank-you ALL for your love, condolences and sharing your personal stories of your loss of loved ones.

You ALL have helped ease the "pain" and loss of my Father's eventual passing.
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seesquare
Posted 2008-12-31 12:30 AM (#4637 - in reply to #4610)
Subject: Re: OT: Hardest thing I've ever done


Joined:
November 2002
Posts: 3165

Location: Pacific Northwest Inland Empire
There's not a day, I don't hear my dad in my head, philosophizing about something, or another. Pleasant musings, to be sure. Been 7 years already. Whew.
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Captain Lovehandles
Posted 2008-12-31 7:11 AM (#4638 - in reply to #4610)
Subject: Re: OT: Hardest thing I've ever done



Joined:
July 2005
Posts: 3392

Location: GA USA
Yesterday was my dad's 81st birthday. Unfortunately, he only saw 75 of them. Thoughts and prayers to you, BT.
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Paulcc1
Posted 2008-12-31 9:27 AM (#4639 - in reply to #4610)
Subject: Re: OT: Hardest thing I've ever done


Joined:
September 2004
Posts: 1180

Location: Vermont USA
Praying for you and your family.
Paul
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PEZ
Posted 2008-12-31 4:56 PM (#4640 - in reply to #4610)
Subject: Re: OT: Hardest thing I've ever done



Joined:
July 2003
Posts: 3103

Location: Nashville TN.
Originally posted by BT717:
Sorry to bring something so personal "here" but I feel a bond with many of you even though we have never meet.
I had to go down to say my goodbyes to my Father. He has Prostrate cancer which went to his bones and 2 weeks ago to his Brain. I told him he could close his eyes and rest. That we will be ok and be there for each other. Very difficult to see a man with the pride he had in that condition. Hospice said could be hours or a day or two. Many of you have gone through this, some recently with a loved one. It's not easy for anyone of us, but with the support we all give each other in "bad" times, it help tremendously.

A special thank-you and shout out to Mike (Crimsonlake) for taking the time to figure out
a song for me, "Short trip home".We were going to play it on Christmas Day for my Dad along with Edelwiess and a few others of his faivorite Holiday songs, but, due to his Illness , never got the chance. I found out today from my sister that we will be playing it at my Father's Memorial service in March. Mike's generosity and selflesness is what makes this group special.
Thank-you for allowing me to express my feelings
and loss.

Bob
We are all freinds here and personal stuff happens. nothing to be sorry about.
I truely feel for you.
I lost both my parents to cancer in 2008.
You and your family will be in my prayers.

pez
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FlySig
Posted 2008-12-31 11:25 PM (#4641 - in reply to #4610)
Subject: Re: OT: Hardest thing I've ever done



Joined:
October 2005
Posts: 3866

Location: Utah
Bob, deepest sympathies from my family to yours.

Just today we were talking about my Father in Law, who passed three years ago from complications of Alzheimers. He was a brilliant man with many talents and a strong body that wouldn't quit even when it would have been a blessing. To watch such a man decline mentally and then finally physically was difficult. We had him here with us for the last year and it was a tough but invaluable time for all of us.

At his memorial service his family and friends told stories from throughout his life. I'm sure that he would have wanted us to celebrate as we did, to remember the good things about his life and to not dwell on the difficult parts of his final illness.

I hope you are able to get past these difficult times quickly and can start remembering the good times.
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