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Joined:
December 2003
Posts: 13996
Location: Upper Left USA | Submitted to the Board. My offering as the OFC Tour O-fficial song.
The OFC Jam (done to the tune of “Hot Rod Lincoln”)
You may have heard of that fatal day
When hell broke loose in the month of May
When the folks belong’in to the OFC
Stopped in to play at the Hotels lobby
It started slow, and it started sweet
A little fingerpickin here, a couple chords strummed neat
Couldn’t see where it was headed when the boys began
It was a good beginnin’ for the OFC Jam
~Riff…
See’ Brad and Brian had been practicin’
And since nobody else knew where to begin
We covered 60’s covers in every key
With occasional 3 part harmony
The Hotel Staff were wearing grins
Happy to see Al brought some strangers in
Some were good tippers and most behaved
Most just sat and talked and played
~Riff…
The acoustics ranged in size and style
Slotheads, Pegheads and Custom Filed
Some had holes drilled into their sides
But they all fell hush when in stepped Miles
He was wearing leather and his hair was tossed
He’d driven long at a hell of a cost
On a motorcycle covered in the morning dew
On his belt it said B–M-W
~Riff…
In his left he carried a wearied case
Had wires and cords all over the place
In his right was a handle that lead to doom
He was draggin’ an Amp that filled the room
In a flurry of elbows an wires and skin
He moved with grace, as again and again
He set up jacks that went without end
And when he stopped he said “Let’s get plugged in”
~Riff…
All jaws dropped down, all mouths were open
It was sacrilege that he was hopin’
To get that loud was a cardinal sin
Till Goober stood and said “I’m in”!
Four and Four in the Key of G
A happier Picker you never did see
Foggy Mountain Breakdown an’ Ol’ Mountain Dew
Followed by a chorus of “Love Me Do”
~Riff
Well the dishes rattled and the rafters shook
The Staff was still smilin’ as the Manager looked
To see if they were insured for “Wow” and “Wham”
As the Boy’s broke out in the OFC Jam
Feelin’ inspired and a little bit cool
Moody jumps in to the Picker’s Pool
Playin’ “C” and “G” and a little “D”
He wore himself out and shouted “Whee!”
~Riff…
Then seizing the moment with a little twist
Up jumps Dave in a Martin shirt
Strumming his Uke with a blaze of hands
Damn thing was so small you couldn’t tell which Brand
He didn’t slow down, He didn’t relent
He was playin’ Springsteen like he was workin’ for rent
A little high but clear he was stealin’ the show
Then ended with a little “Jake” crescendo!
~Riff…
Alpep stood up and said “Now yer tawkin”
His fingers started doin a little Moon Walkin’
On a Hockey Stick it looked to me
With a Viper body, it was hard see
Cuz the lights went dim but the breakers held
As Templeman fired up his Compressor from Hell!
Sweat dripping off of some strange Cappo
He stuck a bottle on his finger as he said “Tally Ho”
~Riff…
Squeelin and squallin like a banshee Babe
He made that steel and brass “behave”
He struck it hard and loud and true
The whitest dude that ever played the Blues
Spittin and sparkin and tapping the beat
He played Marley and Costello and “Hail to the Queen”
There was a tear in his eye as he brought it back down
With a medley of Robinson’s “Tears of a Clown”
~Riff…
Sleepy eyes had a devilish smile
Seems he’d traveled many a Jersey mile
Only to find that the room was filled
With acoustic players that were over the hill
He plugged in his Axe (Was a Hamer in fact)
And Dimebag Darrel was once again back
Black hair swaying and rockin’ the room
Then I thought I saw Schroeder dancing with a broom
~Riff
“That’s nice Kid, but distortion won’t do”
“Let me show you some things that I learned in Old School”!
With a big slab of Maple with a Bigsby Root
Miles fired up and made the fireworks shoot
Behind him stood that massive amp
It was seven feet tall and still a little damp
Up til now it was only dialed to “One”
Then Miles said “Let’s have some fun!”
~Riff…
Well the Hotel shook and the Lobby did shake
Doing everthing Elvis and Orbison could make
From “Only the Lonely” to “Blue Suede Shoes”
Then who steps in but “Dubya-Too”
He was grinnin’ a grin, saying “Who’s yer Daddy”
Play’in something like a Hub cap from a 57 Caddie
Slid’in and squeel’in not a note was missed
And they ended on something called “The Wilbury Twist”
~Riff…
Feeling alone and feeling poor
Cliff looked down at “Ol’ 54”
Movin fast and thinkin’ quick
he angled some microphones and flicked the switch
What happened next none know for sure
The stories say it was Nirvana Pure
Confusion reigned in history
As half the two man crew went and strummed a “G”
~Riff
The shock wave went out and on the Eastern Side
Telemetry recorded a “Ninety-Five”
Jets were scrambled and the radar beeped
As Cliff played “As My Guitar Gently Weeps”
NORAD heard and called it a sin
“Find that Bogey and send them in”
We have to find what has that power
Cause we don’t think it’s one of ours!”
~Riff…
All hell broke loose and they cut the power
The world went dark for about an hour
There were sirens wailing and bullhorns callin’
You would have thought that stars were fallin’
But all was still, none were going to jail
For the boys were spent and all were pail
That is until Weaser raised his hand
And said “Al, when’s the next…
…OFC Jam?” |
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Joined:
January 2004
Posts: 799
Location: Athens, GA & Gnashville | Let's follow it with Rocky Top.
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JUST KIDDING!!! |
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October 2006
Posts: 5575
Location: big island | ya' gonna put port orchard on the map, son! good stuff!! |
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Joined:
September 2003
Posts: 9301
Location: south east Michigan | AWESOME Woody!!!!
Flippin' AWESOME!!! |
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Joined:
February 2005
Posts: 11840
Location: closely held secret |  |
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Joined:
December 2003
Posts: 13996
Location: Upper Left USA | Next:
The The Bottom Feeders Guild... |
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Joined:
January 2002
Posts: 14127
Location: 6 String Ranch | !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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Joined:
December 2003
Posts: 13996
Location: Upper Left USA | C'mon Bill. You know you wanna play it... |
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March 2002
Posts: 15680
Location: SoCal | Woodrow, that was absolutely wonderful, but man, you have GOT to get a life..... |
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Joined:
February 2005
Posts: 11840
Location: closely held secret | Your tax dollars at work... |
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Joined:
January 2006
Posts: 1132
Location: NW Washington State | Originally posted by MWoody:
Next:
The The Bottom Feeders Guild... We represent The Bottomfeeder's Guild... |
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Joined:
July 2005
Posts: 3411
Location: GA USA | Waskel, you gotta make a music video of that for the DVD. |
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Joined:
December 2003
Posts: 13996
Location: Upper Left USA | Did I kill Bill?
Was his last move on earth to post on the OFC?
His spelling was off... |
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Joined:
June 2006
Posts: 659
Location: Hiram, Georgia | AWESOME!!!!!!!!! wtg Woody!!!! |
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May 2003
Posts: 4389
Location: Capital District, NY, USA Minor Outlying Islands | Go Woody! Go Woody! Go Wood! ... |
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Joined:
January 2005
Posts: 4903
Location: Phoenix AZ | TOTALLY AMAZING !!! |
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Joined:
November 2005
Posts: 4833
Location: Campbell River, British Columbia | Woody, can you see my bic held aloft and lit from way down there? Good writin', I think you should bring charts for everyone at song camp...I mean... the hotel lobby jam. |
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Joined:
December 2003
Posts: 13996
Location: Upper Left USA | Key of E, 4/4, Stand to take the next Riff... |
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The OFC Jam song