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Joined: November 2004 Posts: 1374
| As I was born in Staten Island, NY and raised in Ohio and Illinois and my Beloved was born in Tallahassee, FL and basically never got north of Georgia till we were married, we often get into yankee/rebel debates and observations...
this showed up in my mail from her today. thought it was kinda funny.
Only A Real Southerner Knows
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "have" them, you "PITCH" them.
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess." and we ain't given our secrets away to no Yankees.
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in: "Going to town, be back directly." The Cornish also know this secret, but they 'ain't tellin' either.
Even Southern babies know that "gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
Only a Southerner, both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do "queues," we do "lines"; and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!
In the South, 'y'all' is singular....'all y'all" is plural.
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go your own way.
To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by our Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a Second Language!
And last but certainly not least, for those that are NOT born Southern but have lived here for a long, long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't originally from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."
Bless your hearts, all y'all have a good 'un [blessed day)!
glenn |
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 Joined: July 2005 Posts: 3411
Location: GA USA | Originally posted by Amazingly-Detached..:
Only a Southerner, both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash. So much of this dead-on. It all made perfect sense to me, especially the parts about banana pudding and sweet milk. I would add to the above that a "Southern Gentleman" is one who takes his hat/cap off in a restaurant. Those who leave them on are rednecks.
My mom (rest her soul) was a REAL southern lady. She and my dad made sure I knew that I knew proper respect for ladies and true love for family. My immediate family has never had a divorce, going back generations. Sad that it can't be said of many.
ji |
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 Joined: January 2002 Posts: 14127
Location: 6 String Ranch | This is all true.
Southern children address elders as Sir and Mam and do it the rest of their lives.
Having lived both sides of "the line" i can say I like it much better below it. There's a lot to be learnt by livin down here. |
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Joined: July 2002 Posts: 1900
| I'm still learning the difference between 'cantankerous' and 'persnickety'....Maybe if I use them in a sentence...
Tuning my 6-string can be a little persnickety, but tuning my 12-string can be downright cantankerous... |
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Joined: November 2006 Posts: 2241
Location: Simpsonville, SC | Amazingly..it's nice to know that ya'll married to a girl from round these parts. My mother is a fine Southern Gal, born and raised in Columbia, SC and has the most pleasant southern drawl. I never noticed this, much to her chagrin, until I came home one night after a few beers. She wasn't much appreciative of my teasin.
I can relate to each point of your wife's note. (bless her soul).
Ya'll come on visit anytime, ya hear! We'll even pull out our Sunday's finest and lay out a spread for ya.
Jim :D |
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Joined: April 2006 Posts: 2491
Location: Copenhagen Denmark | GREAT POST ...I really Enjoyed that :)
(I learn somethin`every day )
Thanks for Sharing !!
Vic :cool: |
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 Joined: December 2003 Posts: 13997
Location: Upper Left USA | That is good! This has been a good day.
I'm learning new things and the mountains are out! |
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Joined: November 2004 Posts: 1374
| and now for the flip side:
I googled this one up...
You Might Be a Yankee If . . .
The sound of Fran Drescher's voice doesn't bother you.
You've watched the movie Deliverance and you're afraid to go on a camping trip. Ever.
For breakfast, you'd rather have potatoes than grits.
You can name at least four hockey teams.
You don't know what a moon pie is.
You've never eaten okra.
You wonder why people in restaurants don't talk as loud as you do.
You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun & knife show.
You don't have any problems correctly pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce".
You've never had grain alcohol.
You are familiar with all the rules to Lacrosse.
You have no idea what a polecat is.
Whenever someone tells an off-color joke about farm animals, it goes over your head.
You've never had bangs.
You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.
You'd rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags.
You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.
You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.
You refer to two or more people as "you guys" instead of "y'all".
You think more money should go to important scientific research at our university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.
You prefer a bagel over a donut.
You don't know anyone with two first names (i.e. Joe Bob, Billy Bob,Kay Bob, Bob Bob, Sara Jane)
You get freaked out when strangers in public talk to you.
None of your fur coats are made with real fur.
You don't know what a Piggly-Wiggly is.
You think NASCAR stands for the North American Society for . . . (something)
You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.
Your idea of a perfect meal is "Lahbsta and Clam Chawdah".
You use the horn in your car more than once or twice a year.
Everything you know about the Civil War you learned watching TV.
You don't "reckon".
You're not "fixin" to do anything.
lot's of laughs and smiles this morning, and the sun's out here as well... looks like a....
BEACH/SURF-FISHING/"BIRD"-WATCHING DAY!!!
It's Spring Break Time Here!!!
Cowabunga!!!
Glenn |
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Joined: November 2004 Posts: 1374
| rules of thumb when surf-fishing in prime season:
Floppy Hat, Dark sunglasses, T-shirt on so ya don't scare em, and cargo shorts.
2 or 3 rods set up with lines out and tight to block/maneuver their path of travel.
live bait in aerated bucket, and all fresh catch must be kept live in a 5 gallon bucket so they can come look at it....
if nothing's biting make sure you pull a couple of tilapia out of your front pond or Oscars out of your Aquarium..
Bring your dog with you if allowed... better if dog knows how to fetch and likes the surf.
decent high megapixel digital camera optional.
Glenn |
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Joined: March 2005 Posts: 2793
Location: Atlanta, GA. | The pronunciation of "Worcestershire sauce" is not difficult once you know where the name came from... the South, of course!
Many years ago an old sharecropper had an exceptional 'bumper' crop come in.
Since he'd never had a steak dinner before, he decided to ride in to town and treat himself to one.
Back then it was just called "black sauce".
When his steak was served and the waitress placed the bottle on the table, he picked it up and asked "Whus dis 'chere sauce?"
True story... |
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Joined: April 2005 Posts: 200
Location: Melbourne Fl. | Now if Glenn will only explain what a "trot" line is........... |
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 Joined: November 2005 Posts: 4833
Location: Campbell River, British Columbia | Worcestershire sauce, it's pronounced wooster. Like the town in England from which it hails. |
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Joined: March 2002 Posts: 1380
Location: Central Oregon | MWoody "I'm learning new things and the mountains are out!"
You have to be from Oregon to understand that one. |
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 Joined: February 2005 Posts: 11840
Location: closely held secret | You got that right, Nils. |
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 Joined: December 2003 Posts: 13997
Location: Upper Left USA | I remember Wus-tah-sheer Saw-ss!
I also know that NorthWesterner's need at least four more settings between the heat and air conditioning settings in our SUV.
Same goes for the Wipers!
And the mountains ARE out today!
Good stuff! |
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Joined: November 2003 Posts: 11039
Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | I was born and lived south of the Mason-Dixon in my formative years... before moving to Jersey. Now, I find my self back in the South...
Some of what's been said is true... but, I find a lot of So-Called, "Suthun Hospitality" is only on the surface... go a bit deeper and plenty of those "polite folks" get ugly... quick.
2 or 3 years ago, My friend handed me her Elementary School History book. She'd kept it all these years. She's my age or a bit older and went to school in NC. I couldn't believe what I was reading.... "War of Northern Aggression".... "Treachery of Ni**ers and Carpet Baggers". "The Noble Knights of the Ku Klux Klan"....on and on. I was dumbfounded that this was being taught in my life time... And there are still plenty of folks in these parts that hold on to that sh!t....
It's easy to romanticize the south, but it still has it's dark under belly. |
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Joined: April 2006 Posts: 2491
Location: Copenhagen Denmark | When I was in TEXAS last time,in a souvenir shop,I saw a glass with markings on, from top to bottom,Cowpunchers-Cowboys-Cowgirls.and flush with the Bottom , -Yankees..I bought the glas,having a good laugh,but the eyes of the store attendants showed it was No laughing matter..People were Kind to Me,being a Foreigner,I was called a " Good Yank " in a way ,It`s like that overhere too though,People from Jutland are being Looked Down at ( formal belief has it that Cops are all from Jutland,for Who Else wants a Stupid job ) People from Copenhagen are Inconsiderate,and the List goes on... ;)
Vic :cool: |
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 Joined: November 2005 Posts: 4833
Location: Campbell River, British Columbia | Culturally, we all have our bigotries as 'we' are always going to agree with each other that we are better than 'them.' We practice it here as much as anyone. (though we are much more tolerant than the fans of any of those woodbox gits... :rolleyes: )
Because we're all still very tribal by nature and need some way to define and deliniate them from us.
I'm sure, for instance Jeff, that various 'Sowthrun Foaks' have more than a few pithy, and not completely untruthful, observations of cruelty and ignorance practiced by 'Nowthrunners.'
It's the nature of the beast and can only be reduced not elliminated. I find two beers make it better, 5 beer make it worse....it's all in the dosage :cool: |
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Joined: November 2003 Posts: 11039
Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | Don't hear me saying, the South is culturally inferior than another geography (remember, I do choose to live here) ...we all, everywhere, have our cultural pitfalls.
I was simply remarking on my experience of the south... in addition to the "Politeness" that is commonly attributed to it. |
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 Joined: February 2005 Posts: 11840
Location: closely held secret | Slow down, Jeff, I'm confused by your post at the top of this page.
...you have a friend? |
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Joined: November 2003 Posts: 11039
Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | ...Ok .... Victim, I keep locked in a sound proof chamber behind a false wall...
You say, Tomato, I say, Tomahto... |
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 Joined: February 2005 Posts: 11840
Location: closely held secret | Ah, ok. Was there a cask of Amontillado involved? |
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Joined: November 2003 Posts: 11039
Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | ....Poetentually |
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 Joined: November 2005 Posts: 4833
Location: Campbell River, British Columbia | Now cut that out!
This place is getting way to elite-ist if you're going to start referencing horror-ible poets.
What is that beating, beating, but why will you say that I am mad? |
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Joined: December 2004 Posts: 2150
Location: Orlando, FL | I'm not sure if Florida counts as the south anymore, we have so many transplanted northerners.
It's been my experience that you find a combination of nice people, jerks and bigots pretty much everywhere. But the pace down here is more relaxed and slower than other parts of the country. There are also people who will go out of their way to talk to you, even when you wish they wouldn't. Some of them are nice, some are just nuts! |
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Joined: March 2005 Posts: 2793
Location: Atlanta, GA. | ALL kinds of people everywhere has been my experience also. I've lived from the Deep South to the North, and West Coast to East Coast. They just speak with different accents. No big deal. |
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 Joined: September 2006 Posts: 10777
Location: Keepin' It Weird in Portland, OR | The Decline of the South---
When my Mom & Harry moved to Tennessee in about '83, I used to visit from November to January. Then, everyone waved at you while driving the other way on the road. You must be a Friend, cuz otherwise you wouldn't even be in that County!
Also, whenever I went for a walk on our road (Old Route 2, now SR192) people would keep stopping to ask if I needed a ride. Also, everyone knew who I was (by NAME), and I didn't know any of them. But I was the long-haired Yankee feller, coming home for Thanksgiving. Going to visit them nice Yankee-folks, who live in Mary Pratt's ol' place.
Now--- No-one waves. And even if you break down, you might wait awhile before someone stops.
Bunch of city folks have moved-in, wanting to get back to the land. Now we got Fast Food.
Used to be, we had Chicken, Catfish, and Bar-B-Q. All locally owned. (The owners usually lived within earshot.)
Now we got Meth-labs, instead of Shine-stills and Pot fields.
Used to give directions by Churches. "Ya' go past the Liberty Church Road, and I live right next to the Fairview Pentecostal Church." "Oh! Mary Pratt's old place."
The new Wal-mart Superstore doesn't have "Greeters" anymore. The little old one had a coupla-few nice Old Ladies and Men.
The times, they are a-changin'
Don't know if there is a Starbuck's yet... |
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Joined: June 2006 Posts: 659
Location: Hiram, Georgia | I'd have to say that most of the nicest and genuine people I've ever encountered have been in NYC, NJ, LI area, they either like you or they don't, at least you know where you stand. A New Yorker will help you, if you need help. Plus, the attitude is free! |
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 Joined: January 2002 Posts: 14127
Location: 6 String Ranch | Florida is definately the south. The line does go from Daytona west through Gainsville and out to the gulf. Below that is not the south.
I've found that the true, lay it on thick southern hospitality is usually only extended from one true(as in multiple generations) southerner to another.
It's usually a Yankee that brings up the subject that "They are still fighting the civil war down there "
As said, there are bigots everywhere, but most southerners I've met are well past much of that and pretty much accept people as people. That is until Jesse Jackson opens his mouth and then things get set back 40 years.
Most of any racial hostility that I've felt or seen down here has been black at white, not the white at black as one might expect.
And as with all these racial things, the musicians could care less, just as long as a person can play. There isn't much tolerance for bad playing, whatever color it is. |
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Joined: October 2005 Posts: 5332
Location: Bluffton, SC | As with politics, I find myself with a lot that I would like to say in the "racism" arena but, unlike my tendency to throw in the occasional political jab, I'm going to stay out of this one. I'll just say that it's very troubling and sad to see that we, as great a nation as I believe we are, are having such a difficult time healing that wound. |
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Joined: October 2006 Posts: 5576
Location: big island | i have lived and traveled all over these united states and i have found good-hearted people everywhere. my most recent blessing came from new jersey. mike (crimson lake) sent me an Ovation history book that he located and shipped to me at his expense and then told me he did not want me to reimburse him for it. a public "mahalo" mike! i am thoroughly enjoying it.
**********************************************************
i state my opinion in the hopes of not offending anyone: the world's "elite" ruling class use a subversive divide and conquer tactic that will not allow the wounds to heal. they do not want one nation, indivisible anywhere on the planet. that would be their demise. that is why we in the U.S. supposedly have two major political parties. fool the people into thinking they actually have a choice and that their vote is going to make a difference. both parties are totally under control of the same power even though some of their agendas may seem opposed. smoke and mirrors is all.
they own all the mainstream media which is designed to open the wounds even further.
i know some will disagree, however, this is what i have come to believe through many years of study on the subject and how it fits in with biblical prophecy. |
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Joined: May 2003 Posts: 4389
Location: Capital District, NY, USA Minor Outlying Islands | At a gig a long time ago, I was asked to make an announcement that someone had left their car lights on, so I announced that a blue sedan with plate number JMV 4125 your car is on fire, that is JMV 4125. In New York this is guaranteed laughs. Did the same thing in Florida, and they thought I was disturbed. Looking at me like I was a mental patient. Go figure.
Does anyone else here have gig related stories about the difference between North and South? |
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Joined: May 2004 Posts: 2850
Location: Midland, MI | Originally posted by Lanaki:
i know some will disagree, however, this is what i have come to believe through many years of study on the subject and how it fits in with biblical prophecy. You are me and I am you. Except for the biblical prophecy part. But, why quibble. |
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 Joined: January 2002 Posts: 14127
Location: 6 String Ranch | see how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they run..... |
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Joined: October 2006 Posts: 5576
Location: big island | see how they fly... |
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Joined: November 2004 Posts: 4413
| Gentlemen,
Mah Family and mahself have been enjoyin' the Southern Hospitality of which you speak foh the last three days. Tha gracious folks of The Commonwealth Of Ver-jinn-yuh have been as sweet as molasses, even the janitor who came to our room this evenin' to unjam the john which had become extremely logjammed with a couple o'logs, if'n all y'll follow mah meaning.
I expect a small pause in the politeness tomorrow when we call on a Mr Whitehead of all y'all's acquaintance, but I hope it will resume later in the day as we arrive in Richmond.
As to the yankees - I'll let all y'all know when we git to New York next Thursday. But I ain't hopeful.
I will shortly be changin' mah screenname to Cleetus.
BTW I saw a guy who was the living double of Mark In Boise in DC today. |
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Joined: May 2003 Posts: 4389
Location: Capital District, NY, USA Minor Outlying Islands | Forget North and South, the best weed comes from hawaii. |
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Joined: October 2006 Posts: 5576
Location: big island | "Let's get dirty and smoke Hawaiian..." |
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Joined: March 2005 Posts: 2793
Location: Atlanta, GA. | In late '78 early '79 large bales wrapped in plastic and burlap were found floating in the gulf off Biloxi/Gulfport. Many were picked up before the Coast Guard and other authorities got to them.
Became known as "Seaweed" and as good as any "Maui Wowee" ever.
or, so I was told... :D |
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Joined: March 2002 Posts: 14842
Location: NJ | "StinkWeed", and I had it.
Smelled/Tasted like sh!t, but it got you off . . .
(least it was cheap) |
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 Joined: November 2005 Posts: 4833
Location: Campbell River, British Columbia | "Good thing we didn't step in it!" |
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 Joined: January 2002 Posts: 14127
Location: 6 String Ranch | 10/4 |
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 Joined: September 2006 Posts: 10777
Location: Keepin' It Weird in Portland, OR | That would be a negatory.
We don't do ten-codes no more.
And I ain't yer good buddy! :p |
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 Joined: January 2002 Posts: 14127
Location: 6 String Ranch | 10/4 on that nagatory. Roger that. |
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Joined: October 2006 Posts: 5576
Location: big island | "See ya' on the flip side, good buddy."
"Hey man...watch who you're calling GOOD buddy!!!" |
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Joined: March 2007 Posts: 10
| I am a black Army Colonel's brat, who lived all over the U.S as far north as Alaska and south as Hawaii (the true southern hosipitality is there, bruddah!). I have lived in/visited states as diverse as Michigan/Illinois and Lousiana/Oklahoma. My dad was stationed in places as different as Nebraska and the Pentagon. We've been called names because the person hated blacks in all of those places, north and south, except one: Hawaii. In California, where I live now, I have experienced getting on an elevator in my business suit (forgive me, I'm an attorney) and noticed women clutching their purses a little tighter. And, no, it wasn't because I was an attorney, although I would accept that motive! In Mississippi, we were turned away from lodging - this was 1987 - despite the fact that the place was clearly open. In Maryland, where we lived while my dad was working as a Lt. Colonel in the Pentagon, the "n" word was spray painted on our sidewalk.
Now, contrast that to Hawaii: if you try to fit in, try to become "local" (eat the lomi lomi salmon, brah!) you will be accepted, even the evil tourists who overstay their welcome. I could walk into the tiniest hole in the wall Hawaiian food joint and NOBODY would look at me the way I got looked at say, in Delaware. In fact, what happened all the time was that the people in the restaurant would want to know 1) did I play sports for University of Hawaii and 2) did I have any free football tickets!
I was treated with aloha because I was trying to assimilate. I don't think Sure there are racial prejudices in Hawaii, plenty of different races downright hate other races. But for me, it was far, far less than what I saw on the mainland as a black guy.
So, Hawaii's "southern" hospitality is the best! |
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Joined: October 2006 Posts: 5576
Location: big island | Hawaii is the southernmost state! |
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 Joined: January 2002 Posts: 14127
Location: 6 String Ranch | Let's go there and all sing dirty!
Hey popologuy, welcome! Even if you are a lawyer! |
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Joined: October 2006 Posts: 5576
Location: big island | ya gotta sing in hawaiian though, bill.
assimilate! |
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 Joined: January 2002 Posts: 14127
Location: 6 String Ranch | yeah OK, no problem. You got a word sheet? |
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 Joined: November 2005 Posts: 4833
Location: Campbell River, British Columbia | Let's all start with Arlo Guthries "Ukulele Lady". Lanaki, take the intro.....
and a'one
and a'two.... |
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Joined: October 2006 Posts: 5576
Location: big island | phil...that ain't hawaiian.
that genre is known as "hapa-haole". it is a song about things hawaiian but is written and performed in a "haole" or foreign style.
hey, wait a minute...you know that already! |
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Joined: October 2006 Posts: 5576
Location: big island | Originally posted by cwk2:
yeah OK, no problem. You got a word sheet? file drawers and hard drives full of 'em. where do ya wanna start? |
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 Joined: November 2005 Posts: 4833
Location: Campbell River, British Columbia | Originally posted by Lanaki:
hey, wait a minute...you know that already!
You would be absolutely amazed by what I can claim
to not know. Tommy Smothers is my hero.
and a few others..... |
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 Joined: December 2003 Posts: 13997
Location: Upper Left USA | Good post Popologuy.
My ancestors came from many dispeopled countries and continents, mostly at the nudging of a weapon. Having the right attitude to bloom where you're planted can go a long way!
I want to walk into an Irish Pub with a Papoose guitar and a shirt that says "Kiss me, I'm a Colonist!". |
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Joined: November 2003 Posts: 11039
Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | Welcome to the site Popologuy.
There's getting to be too many Ukes an' Lawyer's round here and I'm still trying to luff-off the traumatic remnants of quartering Redcoats. |
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Joined: November 2006 Posts: 2241
Location: Simpsonville, SC | Glad you joined Popologuy..
This site is a breath of fresh air, I think you will find most everyone good humored and good natured.
I am a newbie too. I have been on board for a few months now and have felt at home since day one.. hope you will feel the same!
Jim |
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Joined: April 2006 Posts: 2491
Location: Copenhagen Denmark | Welcome Popologuy ,....and I thought that racial issues in America belonged to history studies....or in Europe
Vic :cool: |
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Joined: March 2007 Posts: 10
| Thanks for the welcome! Speaking of ukulele, I occasionally play "cha-lang-a-lang" guitar for my friend's hula show, and she plays an absolutely adorable Applause Uke...I wouldn't touch the thing myself, I'm too manly... |
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Joined: May 2003 Posts: 4389
Location: Capital District, NY, USA Minor Outlying Islands | Funny, when I first read "black army colonel's brat," I thought, what is that, like the green berets? I read the rest. Hawaii sounds like a nice place. |
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Joined: October 2006 Posts: 5576
Location: big island | in hawaii, one of the meanings of "popolo" is "very dark". in hawaiian slang it is used to identify a person of very dark color, but primarily of african descent. just like "haole" originally meant any foreigner, but it is now used in reference to caucasian (light skinned) people. both of these terms can be used in a derogatory manner though.
so, yes...one can technically "talk dirty in hawaiian"! :D |
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 Joined: January 2002 Posts: 14127
Location: 6 String Ranch | But you got to SING dirty in Hawaiian. |
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 Joined: November 2005 Posts: 4833
Location: Campbell River, British Columbia | Once we're in Hawaii I think we can pretty much do what we want.
Except drink & drive. |
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