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Location: UK | My son has a huge amount of natual talent for music bursting out of him , just like his mum , however he is reluctant to practice , i have tried nailing his shoes to the floor next to the piano , chaining him to the guitar , forbiding all food or play until he has played for an hour or two, i have even threatened to duet with him at school in front of his class but to no avail , any suggestions ....... |
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Location: Upper Left USA | Younglings learn best from someone just a slight bit older and cooler than they are. Having a Teacher they look up to and who is not their Parent might help.
Many talented people didn't have the ability to sit still and learn the disciplines in the main-stream method (farmer style; plant them in rows, feed, water, fertilize and harvest).
Use an incentive program that has acheivable goals and rewards. For instance, when certain goals are met you may have to get a better instrument or sound system.
I find that "Jam Sessions" with other Musicians helps to hold my short attention. |
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Location: New Jersey, USA | Does he LIKE music and have a passion for it? I hated to practice in the traditional sense as a kid, and still do. But music calls me constantly, so I was motivated to learn on my own as a kid - and now as an adult I live for the moment in my day when I can finally pick up a guitar.
Talent and motivation are not necessarily partners. Does he have the spark? Is he on the right instrument? |
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Location: Omaha, NE | My God, is this a serious question? How old is he? |
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Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | Paste a picture of boobs to the soundboard... |
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Location: CT | heh, heh, heh... he said boobs... |
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Location: NJ | Find a nubile female teacher with an inherent disdain for undergarments.
If that doesn't keep his attention, sign him up for a course on flower arranging . . . |
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Location: Capital District, NY, USA Minor Outlying Islands | Yeah, how old is he ...
Younger kids will play to be like the cooler kids and adults ..
Older kids will play because they are making art ...
Slightly older kids will play because it can get them laid ...
Then there are those who get paid ...
Some play to bring them closer to God ...
You'll have to figger out which niche fits your son.
The worst thing you can do is force him to practice. As Lincoln said, if you conquer your foe with force, you've only conquered half of him. The more you force him the more he'll hate it. |
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Location: Atlanta, GA. | Lincoln had trouble getting his kids to practice too??? |
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Location: Upper Left USA | They were always playing with those little log thingies! |
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Location: UK | He is 8 , think the older cooler thing would work , just need to find an unsuspecting teenager to show him the ropes , he loves listening to music and has fantastic sense of rhythm but the attention span of a small rodent |
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Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | well then... Cheese in the soundhole....
I know a ten-year-old in Kent who can play the whiskers off a Flamenco... He may be for rent. |
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Location: Utah | IMO the big thing is to make it fun. It doesn't compute with a kid when you tell him that he has to practice to get better.
He has to have a fun teacher who makes the lesson fun as well as challenging. A good teacher will let a lesson go in random directions as long as it remains constructive. For example, the student wonders when the first guitar was invented. Assuming the teacher knows, he/she should engage in a brief discussion on the history of the instrument.
The student ideally should get a mix of theory, technique, and learning new songs. Hopefully his teacher can push a complete program while making it fun.
Getting him involved in some kind of performance situation might improve the fun factor of his practice. If he's good enough, get him involved in a real band. If not, then maybe he could do small performances for family, school, church, etc.
Finally, is there someone he might relate to that could be a role model? Could you take him to a concert? Would he be interested in a biographical book or dvd about a musician that he likes?
Here's a video of my 11 yr old son's last recital. He actually played it much better in warmups, but performance jitters got to him a bit.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=CX46dWOGpmA
When he started feeling some pressure to learn the piece for the recital, his practice time went way up. He also performs regularly with a couple of different bands, which drives his practice. Even so, his discipline ebbs and flows from week to week. |
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Location: Utah | Just saw your post that he's 8. At that age, it is pretty tough to get them to practice. I don't think that you can expect him to be self-motivated. The best you can do is be sure that his instrument fits him and that he wants to learn it.
What instrument is he learning? |
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Location: Capital District, NY, USA Minor Outlying Islands | I hope I'm not too harsh, but I think you're expecting too much from him at age 8. Let him be a kid. He should be playing football with his friends and playing tag, building models and playing video games.
Set a good musical example, have friends come over and play with you, take him to see your friends bands and play with their children, things like that, and if he comes around, he'll come around. Try again at age 10. Good luck.
I think the duet thing might work, but do it in a low pressure atmosphere like with family. |
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Location: big island | you've got a sharp and talented young man there, flysig. that vivaldi piece is not an easy one to play. he done well! |
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Location: Scotland | I've spent a significant proportion of my professional life as a music teacher. In my experience the kids who do well at an early age are self-motivated, but they are VERY rare. Pre-teens who are forced or coerced to practice tend to resent it, give up early and often never go back. By all means give your children access to instruments and encourage exploration and creativity, but avoid structured learning and practice regimes until they are capable of understanding the importance of it for themselves. They'll let you know when that time comes. |
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Location: Keepin' It Weird in Portland, OR | Lucky You! You've got yourself a budding Genius! :rolleyes: As a child with "Above-Average" intelligence, I can attest to the inherent problems of ADHD! How to keep your mind focused when there is so much else to do.
[I can also warn you that we get dumber with age!]
The real down-side of this is that you won't be able to make him understand that it is SO much easier to learn when you are a Child... Music, and Language are best learned young.
Nor will you be able to tell him how much easier it is Now, than when he is 14, 16, 22, then 50!
That said, show him a Young Eddie Van Halen. And maybe find him some tween/teen musicians to play with.
Don't know if you go to Church (I should) but if you could hook-him-up with a Youth Ministry band... CCM music, or Christian Metal, or Rock or whatever his musical tastes are... In that environment, he would be exposed to music and people that share his Love of music. PLUS, he would get an opportunity to Play Live!
Then one of the older boys could tell him how much Girls Love Guitars!
[long-winded, but you get my point] |
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Location: Scotland | Originally posted by Old Man Arthur:
Don't know if you go to Church (I should) but if you could hook-him-up with a Youth Ministry band... CCM music, or Christian Metal, or Rock or whatever his musical tastes are... In that environment, he would be exposed to music and people that share his Love of music. PLUS, he would get an opportunity to Play Live!
How would you feel if I suggested that this child would get a better grasp of music if he learned from an athiest such as myself. Now that would be silly, wouldn't it? Let's keep religion and the indoctrination of the young, off this board, PLEASE. |
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Location: Simpsonville, SC | Andrea, give him time and he will find his own way, if that's what he wants. Pretty sure that's the way we all learned. My son (when young) hated when I pulled out the guitar and attempted to play for someone, ashamed even. But then I found the 'ol git in his room a few years later. He plays well now and loves it when I play with him, even though I feel he does it just to make fun of me. |
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Location: Utah | Paul, I'm an athiest also, but I play in a church band with my teenage daughter. I won't defend Old Man Arthur's post or offer an interpretation of it - I leave it to him to respond if he wishes.
However, from my perspective I would say that if Andrea's family are churchgoers, a youth ministry band is an excellent suggestion for a youngster.
First of all, perfection is not required or expected! There is much less pressure than in a school band or a recital performance. Secondly, there will be a variety of ages represented, offering the chance for an older kid to become a mentor or role model. Thirdly, the kids get a lot of positive feedback from the audience. Fourth, the band performs frequently, which provides frequent reward.
Another positive is that it presents an opportunity for the parent to be involved with the child in a performing group. Presumably this has benefit for the child, but it is also very enjoyable for the parent, at least it is for me. |
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Location: Scotland | Flysig, A youth ministry band is little more than an opportunity for an open mind to be pointed in a closed direction. I will make no further comments here., other than to repeat that "this board is about Ovation guitars, there are other sites for religious philosophy" so after my my request of "let's keep religion off this board" why did you feel the need to stir the shit? |
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Location: Keepin' It Weird in Portland, OR | "How would you feel if I suggested that this child would get a better grasp of music if he learned from an athiest such as myself. Now that would be silly, wouldn't it? Let's keep religion and the indoctrination of the young, off this board, PLEASE."
Wouldn't care, so long as the Atheist took the time to mentor my kid in music and did it for Free!
I was merely suggesting where young people play music, and share instruction...
Being as they don't really have music programs in school anymore.
I prefaced the remark with, "Don't know if you go to Church"...
Just a suggestion.
[But I am pleased that I gave y'all an opportunity to "vent"] |
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Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | There's- "Athiest" and then... There's- "Flaming Athiest"
There are those of us who think that exposing children to religion or religious doctrine, as a matter of faith, is the moral-equivalent of giving them crack... |
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Location: Scotland | Originally posted by Old Man Arthur:
Wouldn't care, so long as the Atheist took the time to mentor my kid in music and did it for Free!
I get paid for 14 hours a week to teach music business, studio production and music theory at my local college. I do at least another 6 hours teaching guitar for those that need it and want it and I do it for for free. I do it simply because I can and I have the skill and the available time. Some of my students I guess may be beleivers, but I don't hold that against them. |
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Location: Keepin' It Weird in Portland, OR | Very Good. Music is a gift that should be shared. |
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Location: Capital District, NY, USA Minor Outlying Islands | For godsakes don't make him learn christian metal music. I beg you. And he's not really mature enough for bluegrass gospel ....
Now if you want something interesting, and that will bring him closer to god, they have santaria or voodoo music classes the kid might like. Lot's of that in NYC. Do they have it England?
PS Christian Metal. Those are two terms that should not meet |
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Location: Scotland | "the devil has all the best tunes" and christian music is proof of that. |
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Location: enid, ok | Try leaving him alone. This analytical (emphasis on anal)crap from some of you is giving me a headache. |
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Location: North Carolina | Leave him alone. Let me rephrase that. Leave him alone.
I have encountered several people who are the result of parents "making" them practice piano, guitar, etc. They are each as good as their last lesson. |
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Location: Marlton, NJ | Let him find a song he really likes and learn it at his own pace. He'll come into his own. I don't ever bother my son, Nicky. He's always asking me to teach him songs that he likes. He even shocked me and got up and played at one of the OFC gatherings. This is supposed to be fun... I know I forget that sometimes, but if the kid isn't having fun, he will never learn. |
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Location: Utah | Originally posted by FlySig:
if Andrea's family are churchgoers, a youth ministry band is an excellent suggestion for a youngster. I was not trying to stir any pot of shit or push church on anybody. Nor would I push Atheism on anyone. Whatever anybody wants to believe is none of my business, as long as they don't try to kill me for my beliefs. |
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Location: UK | Thanks for all that advice , loads of much appreciated suggestions , i have now unchained him from the piano though i am still tempted to force him listen to me playing " stairway to heaven " as a kind of fear thing .... this could be you in 30 years .... shame we dont live in Kent Paul or i might be super glueing myself to your door step for some of those free lessons !! :D |
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Location: Colorado Rocky Mountains | During my show biz heyday, I was practicing (primarily learning new material) and rehearsing about 20 hours a week, then performing 8 shows a week, although only about three minutes at a time, mostly in my pre-teen years. Funny thing, I don't remember having all that much passion for dance, but remember that I just couldn't get enough of my guitar. If the two (passion, what a child loves, and skill, what a child is really good at) can come together in the same activity, music, sports, art, writing, whatever, the results can be remarkable. |
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Location: Tychy, Poland | ok. i'm still young and i think i still remember how to think like young person.
1) if you'd force me to do something - i would hate it
2) if you want to make me learn to play, you have to give something unexpected from yourself - for example: learn his favourite song, and when he'd not expect that - play it. he might catch it and might want to learn it too. and from this point way would be much easier
3) don't buy him crappy instruments for the beginning. the worst thing parent can do is buy cheap guitar for his child, because he's not sure if he will learn to play it. If he won't - you'll lose max 30-40% of what guitar is worth by selling that guitar in almost unused condition. if you'll buy cheap guitar - you won't resale it, because virtually no one wants to buy used entry-level, crapy guitar
4) i don't think religion AND music should go together at early stage. if he will want to sing for the lord, he will from his own will, not because parents ordered him to do this for his 'good'
5) even techno / dance music can be played on guitar (i don't know what kind of music he likes)
6) remeber that he has his own will and own personality, and he has the same rights that any of us here. no one should be forced to do anything only because someone else wants that person to do a certain thing. |
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Location: Slightly northwest of Trader Jim | try asking him what kind of music he would want to play. I was 8 years old when I took lessons, they tried to push thier music down my throat. Of course I gave up! 40 years later I'm very sorry I did. But how do you explain that to an 8 year old? |
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Location: New South Wales, Australia | Just let him have fun with it for now. I was forced into seven years of piano lessons as a youngster and hated every minute of it. Now that I'm older I'm thinking about learning to play again.
I have a 12 year old son and a 10 year old daughter and every few months they express a desire to learn the guitar. So we fool around for a few days and then they lose the inspiration. But it's no big deal. When they're ready and really want to learn to play I'm sure they'll find the time and the desire. |
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Location: Phoenix AZ | We forced both of my children to take piano lessons for two years from ages 6-8. No discusion about it. It was just like reading or math or any other academic subject, you had to do it weather you liked it or not and nothing less than 100% effort would be accepted. They kicked and screamed, but did it and did well. Two years TO THE DAY, they quit lessons.
Fast forward 15 years, my son graduates from university gets a job and gets his first apartment. The FIRST piece of furnature he buys is a piano. Sleeping on a mattress on the floor, eating on TV trays, but he plays the damn piano every single day. Same with my daughter, she comes home from college for xmas break and before she even unpacks or makes sure we didn't clean out her room, she's at the piano playing up a storm.
Dave |
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Problem with kid practising