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Joined: November 2011 Posts: 741
Location: Fort Worth, TX | At the urging of Love O Fair, I'm starting this thread to showcase the works of any amateur songwriters who might lurk in these hallowed digital walls. Posting a link to a recording of your work would be great too, and the quality doesn't need to be a studio production. Just you, an Ovation and recording device in your garage is entirely suitable. Don't worry if you're not a singer of Darkbar's caliber, I've learned recently a lot of songwriters hire others with a good voice to record their songs when they're at the end of the long processes involved and are ready to have their songs pitched to an artist. This is just for fun and appreciation of the effort of songwriting. Someone also might make a suggestion for a revsion to a line or two that will be a vast improvement to your composition. The first one I'm posting is what I think falls into the category of a tried and true country theme, the salvation of a drunk. I began writing this song at a jam I attend every Friday with a room full of ancient cowboys whose repertoire is solid gold ancient country music. The following Friday one of the participants gave me a typed page with contributions to the song he thought would fit the direction I wanted to take it. I took his lyrics home, combined them into mine and then did a final rewriting. I scored it as a simple two chord song to make it into a jam friendly piece that has become part of our regular repertoire now. Here it is, it's called JACK and SAM.
At one time the bottle used to own me Whiskey seemed to be my best friend I was the ever lovin' life of the party With me there the good times would never end
All my friends suddenly began to slip away I found myself mostly drinkin' alone I guess the life of the party wasn't fun anymore And all my party friends just went on home
Who needs 'em, let 'em go! I began to cry I'll just have another ice cold beer Then I heard this little voice comin' through his bedroom door My little boy's prayer fell upon my drunken ear
"Daddy has some old friends and no time for me I just want him back so he can play with me We used to be so close he called me his little man Jesus give my daddy back to me He takes Jack Daniels fishin', Sam Adams brings him home And I can't wait to see him but he never stays at home Jesus he's a mess, I hope you see Will you please give my daddy back to momma and me"
He finished his prayer as I leaned against the wall With my head in my hands tryin' not to cry I finally found the courage to say goodbye to it all God helped me tell Jack and Sam goodbye
"Daddy has some old friends and no time for me I just want him back so he can play with me Jesus he's a mess, I know you see Will you please give my daddy back to momma and me"
I said Lord thanks for showin' me it's never too late And bless my boy, bless him Lord for helpin' me get straight Here's the raw recording, which amply demonstrates my comment about not needing to be a good singer to demo your song! https://soundcloud.com/user-566557345/jack-and-sam |
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Joined: November 2011 Posts: 741
Location: Fort Worth, TX | I decided to post this one as well after reading Darkbar's lyrics in another thread about a bar he used to hang out at with his friends. I never hung out at the bar this song is about, I would've been about 10 years old when it was in its heyday. Over the course of 7 months of regularly attending a Friday night jam, I've hear several reminiscing comments made about this bar by 3 of the jam participants. Leon, the old guy who runs the jam and plays solos on his Tele, the old drummer named Howard, and Bill, the bass player, all used to be in a band together over 40 years ago that regularly played at Leon's beer joint on the storied Jacksboro Highway in Fort Worth. Just as an aside, one of the many beer joints was called the 50/50, and legend has it the name came from the fact that once you entered it, you had a 50/50 chance of coming back out alive. Another beer joint opened up next to Leon's that was called The Old Sawmill. They put up a wood fence to keep their customers from wandering next door to Leon's club. After hearing about how people used to climb the fence to get to Leon's, I figured I had enough to write this song and surprise the three old bandmates at the next jam. I wish I had a recording of the blazing solos Leon improvised for it the first time I played it. A very magical moment. Here is The Club Leon. The beer joints in Fort Worth were second to none Everybody's favorite was the Club Leon The ol' Sawmill beer joint lost more customers by far Cos everybody jumped their fence to go drinkin' at Leon's bar
THE MUSIC PLAYED NON STOP WITH THE BEST PICKERS AROUND HOWARD WAS ON THE DRUMS HOLDIN' THE BEAT DOWN BILL WAS ON THE BASS KEEPIN' EVERYONE IN THE POCKET PEOPLE WOULD STAND AND YELL HEY LEON WILL YOU ROCK IT
The dance floor was always full long after midnight Nobody wanted to leave when they flickered the light Goodnight Irene was played after last call Leon's Club was the favorite of one and all (CHORUS)
Everyone knew Leon's gun was right behind the bar He could wing you before you could make it to your car Nobody ever wanted to get involved in a fight Leon's was the place to be on Friday & Saturday night
It was a sad day in Ft. Worth when Leon's closed down Everybody thought it was the best beer joint in town The night life in Texas would never be the same The owner of the best beer joint, Leon was his name (CHORUS) https://soundcloud.com/user-566557345/club-leon |
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Joined: November 2011 Posts: 741
Location: Fort Worth, TX | Okay, before I come off a bogarting my own thread, here's the last one I'll post for awhile. Living in Texas a big part of the cowboy culture I'm surrounded by in my neighborhood, with three lighted roping arenas in sight from my back patio, is the phenomenon of guys with a protruding bulge below their lower lip. When I walk down my rural street to visit neighbors I often see discarded Copenhagen smokeless tobacco cans. It's incredibly prevalent here and I've overheard more than one conversation between women who are disgusted by it. I haven't scored and recorded this one yet, but here are the lyrics I wrote this morning. It's called DOWN TO MY LAST DIP AGAIN.
My woman is determined to get dip outa my life
It causes her resentment & causes her strife
I'll admit that it isn't doing me much good
It's a habit I'd walk away from if I could
(CHORUS)
I'M DOWN TO MY LAST DIP AGAIN, ANOTHER CAN IS EMPTY
I'M HOPING THIS TIME, THE URGE WON'T TEMPT ME
I'LL TRY HARDER THIS TIME NOT TO BUY ANOTHER CAN
I'LL DO MY BEST TO BE YOUR BRAND NEW MAN
SHE SAID THAT RIGHT NOW SHE JUST CAN'T KISS ME
& HERE I AM AGAIN WITH A CAN THAT'S EMPTY
Who am I kiddin', a dip is my friend
It relaxes then gives me energy again
I love the feel of the warm balm in my lip
If I try to quit I know I'll only slip
She said “I see you're dippin' another load of crap
I find it as disgusting as a skunk in your lap”
She said “that stuff's turnin' your teeth yellow
& maybe I need to find another fellow" (CHORUS)
(TAG)
Darlin' if I'm not successful I don't know what I'll do
I'll likely end up spittin' & hardly missin' you
I'll likely end up spittin' & hardly missin' you
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Joined: February 2016 Posts: 1802
Location: When?? | Dave..
Nice selections! What you said about your style being from 50 years back.. I am thinking even further. More like the 1930's. Bob Wills-like. Very cool.. and your sign painting studio sound is great! Don't change it! I put on "Club Leon" in my home office and cranked it loud to echo through the house while I went in and made coffee. Most of Texas family is from there in the DFW area (Arlington.. Mansfield.. Plano). I haven't been down for quite a while to visit, but I totally absorb the culture and always come home with a drawl... and you'd surely bust a gut if you were to see the the lacky attempts they make around here with roadside BBQ. Pathetic.
The final tag on "Down to My Last Dip Again" leaves me to wonder if he is "hardly missin" her in his heart.. or with the actual spit. I'll go with the spit :-)
There isn't much at present, but let me wake up and blow the dust off some lyric files and see what I am can post. Oh, and thanks for heeding my suggestion on the thread. Could be interesting.
Back in a bit.
Edited by Love O Fair 2018-03-22 2:21 PM
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Joined: February 2016 Posts: 1802
Location: When?? | I enjoy writing quick and quippy slapstick. Certainly nothing deep or poignant. Most don’t get saved, but maybe I should start. I mentioned on the other thread about falling in love at a truck stop.. so here’s one that I came up with a few weeks ago after a buddy and I were reminiscing the topic during Superbowl.
A SONG ABOUT THE HEART
He was a truckin' fool from Alabama
With one thing on his mind.
He hauled that freight from coast to coast
Sometimes 'till he was blind.
Late one night he pulled off I-80
And just before he hit the hay,
He found his love in booth number six
At the ol' Gear Jammer’s Cafe.
Every trucker's dream was just sittin' there
Starin' him in the face
So goll dern pretty, so fine and fresh
Turnin' every head in the place.
He took one look and fell in love
The future was lookin’ bright.
It was the finest chow that money could buy
And he took his very first bite.
-*- chorus -*-
There's meat and cheese and mystery spice
Enough mayo to float a boat.
With lots of grease and soggy lettuce
To help it slide down your throat.
It’s bliss on a plate, bound for legend
Of paradise on the road.
The crowning jewel of highway sandwiches
The Trucker's Payload.
-*- optional solo -*-
He finished her up and dabbed his lip
Then headed for his truck.
He'd had the best and life was good
When came a change of luck.
The cholesterol bomb he'd just consumed
Had settled in his heart
He died that night, alone in the sleeper
His aorta blown apart.
-*- repeat chorus -*-
There's meat and cheese and mystery spice
Enough mayo to float a boat.
With lots of grease and soggy lettuce
To help it slide down your throat.
It’s bliss on a plate, bound for legend
Of paradise on the road.
The crowning jewel of highway sandwiches
The Trucker's Payload.
Edited by Love O Fair 2018-03-22 2:46 PM
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Joined: November 2011 Posts: 741
Location: Fort Worth, TX | Love O Fair - 2018-03-22 1:55 PM
Dave..
Nice selections! What you said about your style being from 50 years back.. I am thinking even further. More like the 1930's. Bob Wills-like. Very cool.. and your sign painting studio sound is great! Don't change it! I put on "Club Leon" in my home office and cranked it loud to echo through the house while I went in and made coffee. Most of Texas family is from there in the DFW area (Arlington.. Mansfield.. Plano). I haven't been down for quite a while to visit, but I totally absorb the culture and always come home with a drawl... and you'd surely bust a gut if you were to see the the lacky attempts they make around here with roadside BBQ. Pathetic.
The final tag on "Down to My Last Dip Again" leaves me to wonder if he is "hardly missin" her in his heart.. or with the actual spit. I'll go with the spit :-)
There isn't much at present, but let me wake up and blow the dust off some lyric files and see what I am can post. Oh, and thanks for heeding my suggestion on the thread. Could be interesting.
Back in a bit.
Thanks. Years ago I did a sign for Bob Wills' daughter and wife when they opened the Bob Wills Museum in the Fort Worth stockyards where Billy Bobs is. Bob's bass player was there and came out and held my ladder when I was hanging the sign. My closest brush with legendary Texas greatness.
I feel an explanation might be due of one line in Club Leon. The "Bill was on the bass keepin' everyone in the pocket". In the pocket is a bassist term for playin' in the groove, or, keepin' it in the pocket.
I'm sure it's the spit, but some of those lines will inevitably have to change a little when I score it. |
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Joined: February 2016 Posts: 1802
Location: When?? | Oh.. and please feel free to attach your own music to the above selection and record it at will.
Billy Bob's. Speaking of having a heart pounding experience.. I was at Billy Bob's once on a weekday afternoon when they had the liquor supply cavern opened up to restock the bars. Holy crap. It was like witnessing rapture. Millions of dollars worth of liquid joy stacked up in that room. |
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Joined: November 2011 Posts: 741
Location: Fort Worth, TX | A SONG ABOUT THE HEART. I'd add a comment that's been made about a few of my songs... sounds like a John Prine number. I wouldn't describe it as slap stick at all. It's a story told in a logical sequence. My next one I'll post somebody described as a sexual double entendre on steroids! |
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Joined: November 2011 Posts: 741
Location: Fort Worth, TX | Another one I wrote in my head while driving out of Atlanta, Georgia recently. Hard to remember things you have to keep repeating in your head till you get somewhere to write it down! When I played it for my wife she commented "you have a dirty mind".
GEORGIA IN ATLANTA
I met her in a bar where she sat cryin'
Right out of Atlanta and the sparks were flyin'
She said her name was Georgia and
She's doin' all she can
To get over a low down
Slow drivin' man
She said a slow drivin' man
Can't get her where she wants to go
A slow drivin' man can't
Teach her what she wants to know
I offered her a ride and she took me by the hand, & said
"Baby I'm prayin' you ain't a slow drivin' man"
NOW I'M HAULIN' 'CROSS GEORGIA JUST AS FAST AS I CAN
CHECKIN' OUT THE CURVES WITH A STICKSHIFT IN MY HAND
CRUISIN' DOWN IN A VALLEY WHERE I FOUND A LOT OF THRILLS
SHIFTIN' GEARS I'M RACIN' BACK UP INTO THE HILLS
HAULIN' 'CROSS GEORGIA JUST AS FAST AS I CAN
BABE I GOTTA WARN YA AIN'T A SLOW DRIVIN' MAN
(Bridge)
Through an overpass never touchin' the brake
In an underpass my car began to shake
Bumpin' down a long windin' country road
Prayin' all the while my motor don't explode!
After our ride I drove her back to the bar
She hopped out & said "boy I LOVED your car
If you come back to Atlanta please drop in
I'll be here ready to go ridin' again"
Because a slow drivin' man can't
Get here where she wants to go
A slow drivin' man teach her
What she wants to know
I offered her a ride and she took
me by the hand
Right then she saw I ain't
A slow drivin' man
NOW I'M HAULIN' 'CROSS GEORGIA JUST AS FAST AS I CAN
CHECKIN' OUT HER CURVES WITH MY STICKSHIFT IN MY HAND
CRUISIN' DOWN IN THAT VALLEY WHERE I FOUND A LOT OF THRILLS
SHIFTIN' GEARS I'M RACIN' BACK UP INTO THOSE HILLS
HAULIN' 'CROSS GEORGIA JUST AS FAST AS I CAN
BABY YOU SEE I AIN'T A SLOW DRIVIN' MAN
BABY YOU KNOW I AIN'T A SLOOOOOOW DRIVIN' MAN
I hear this in a rockabilly vein. Or at least with the energy of Delbert McClinton's version of Everytime I Roll The Dice. |
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Joined: February 2016 Posts: 1802
Location: When?? | I'm one foot out the door for a few days in SLC, so I will add one more piece and blast outta here.
Far from "slapstick", I wrote this short ballad in 2010 about my late brother and his career. The single-most fascinating life of anyone I will ever know. Hopefully my wording choices here were hinty enough to explain how he made his living.
“In Stead”
It was a rumble
A big ol’ rumble
It shook the walls, it shook the halls
It nearly made me fall and tumble.
We lived out yonder
So he’d buzz us down
With his four-engine wake-up calls
Schmoe’s back in town.
It was a bender
A big ol’ bender
On the road hotel, with a Reno belle
A hungover morning blitz would render.
They tracked me down
Ma called and said
Go out and see your brother’s new plane
He’s up in Stead.
-*- chorus -*-
There’s a promise to beginnings
Big sadness in the end
If I had known that morning
I’d have begged him to suspend.
A future sought with threats of fate
The miles of scarlet band
That Schmoe and Zero-Niner
Would drop across this land.
It was a dream job
A big ol’ dream job
His trademark style, a daredevil smile
The paycheck made a big gob.
And not one state
On the nation’s list
Would omit his seasoned skill
And the lives it kissed.
-*- solo break -*-
It was a fire
A big ol’ fire
Sixty-one years bred, of all places Stead
The end of Schmoe’s desire.
The left wing flamed
and off it burned
Three men onboard that day
And none returned.
-*- repeat chorus -*- (augmented)
There’s a promise to beginnings
Big sadness in the end
If I had known that morning
I’d have begged him to suspend.
His future life, the years of dare
The miles of scarlet band
That Schmoe and Zero-Niner
Laid across this grateful land.
Lyrical story reference:
“Schmoe” -- The nickname I long ago bestowed upon my brother. His final words as captured on the cockpit voice recorder-- “A big ol’ fire”
“Stead”-- A small town in Nevada, near Reno, with an airfield that serves fire attack aviation. I’d meet up for visits with Schmoe at various dispatch bases around the country, though ironically, I only visited Stead Field twice-- the day after he acquired the plane there, and the day after he died in it there.. many years apart.
Gonzo -- (not mentioned in the song) nickname of Schmoe’s long-time co-pilot. Not only could Gonzo play guitar and sing like a complete pro, his songwriting skills were absolutely stellar. He collected Martin guitars.
”Dream Job” -- Words screen printed on T-shirts made by the ambitious young flight engineer, Zach. The crash was Zach’s first career flight. Age 23. Some dream, ‘eh?
“Zero-Niner” (09) - The tail number designation of the fire tanker my brother piloted across America for 26 years. She was a beloved member of our family, a Lockheed Neptune (outfitted with both jets & props) seen here: http://www.visitingphx.com/ip8e.html
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Joined: November 2011 Posts: 741
Location: Fort Worth, TX | LOF... I'm sorry to have learned about your brother's demise. He sounds like a guy who would've been my hero with a genuinely thrilling occupation. Your song made me remember a newsclip I once watched of a crash involving a C130 aircraft outfitted as a tanker for fire fighting. The scene showed a large hill ablaze. Suddenly the aircraft is seen cresting the hill and rising suddenly above it, at which point both wings snapped off and the plane nose dived into the fire killing all 4 aboard. My guess is, from training I received in the past as a pilot. they were trying to make an intense maneuver to avoid hitting the hill. The stress on the wings, with the plane being fully loaded and heavy, was beyond the envelope of what the plane could handle and resulted in the tragedy.
I think your lyrics are crafted very well in telling the story. As for your previous comments about another plane crash you've been trying to write about for some time, for some reason the first thought I had was the song The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald. That song shows it is possible to write a song about such things and I hope you continue to pursue it.
For now, I have one last song I'm posting lyrics for. This thread isn't getting much participation beyond you and me. I'd have thought there was surely more songwriters on this forum. |
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Joined: November 2011 Posts: 741
Location: Fort Worth, TX | This song is another I have yet to score. Still trying to decide a suitable tempo and vein for what direction to take it in. Suggestions welcomed.
It's called SMALL STEPS
Baby steps, small steps, call 'em what you will
Not moving fast, crawling, or even standing still
I'll give all the time it takes to end up in your heart
Even stopping awhile till it's time again to start
Love at first sight I never believed was true
But here I am now, and the rest is up to you
Turning out the lights, I'll hold you in the dark
Shutting off my car I'll shove the gear in park
IF IT'S SMALL STEPS YOU WANT THEN THAT'S WHAT YOU'LL GET
LAUGHING IN A POURING RAIN AND GETTING SOAKING WET
WE CAN TALK ALL NIGHT TILL OUR FACES BOTH TURN BLUE,
IF SMALL STEPS ARE WHAT IT TAKES TO END UP WITH YOU
I'VE NEVER BEEN KNOWN TO GO THIS WAY BEFORE, BUT
I'LL SLOW MY ROLL IF THAT'S HOW I'LL GET IN YOUR DOOR
(bridge) We just met and you've yet to figure out
What this feeling is really all about
There's no secrets when it comes to me
What you get is truly what you see
The music in this bar makes it hard to hear a sound
There's enough light to see though what I really found
I'm not using any pickup lines on you tonight
All I have to say is I wanna treat you right
Your hand on my knee, laughing, is a really good sign
The smile on your face shows you could end up mine
I'm glad you agreed we need to find a quieter place
If you're falling in love, it's showing on your face (CHORUS)
(tag)
I didn't come here tonight with any plan of what to do
I'm lovin' the jealous looks I get walkin' out with you
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Joined: November 2011 Posts: 741
Location: Fort Worth, TX | STOP THE PRESSES! I really didn't like the last lyrics I posted so I changed it up some with this rewrite. I like the direction of this version better. Retitled to LOVE AT FIRST NIGHT
Shuttin' off the car & put the gear in park
Turnin' out the lights, I held you in the dark
Giving the time it takes to get to your heart
Stoppin' awhile till it's time again to start
We just met & you haven't figured out
What this feeling is really all about
But it's no secret when it comes to me
I'll tell you what it is I'm sure I see
THIS IS LOVE AT FIRST NIGHT
THE MUSIC IN THAT BAR MADE IT HARD TO HEAR A SOUND
BUT WE HAD ENOUGH LIGHT TO SEE WHAT WE'D FOUND
WE WERE FALLING IN LOVE, I SAW IT ON YOUR FACE
I WAS GLAD YOU SAID "LET'S FIND A QUIETER PLACE"
THIS IS LOVE AT FIRST NIGHT
LET ME HOLD YOU BABY TILL THE SKY TURNS BLUE
LOVE AT FIRST NIGHT, BEING HERE WITH YOU
Baby steps, small steps, call 'em what you will
Slowin' to a crawl, or even standing still
There was no need for pickup lines tonight
Here we are now & I'll treat you right
I didn't come here with a plan of what to do
I got a lot of jealous looks leaving with you
I'll admit this never happened before
& I'm glad tonight found me at your door (CHORUS) |
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Joined: February 2016 Posts: 1802
Location: When?? | @DaveKell >>>I'd have thought there was surely more songwriters on this forum.<<<
I think there are, but probably not so inclined to participate on a thread like this is. After all, it is a guitar site, so I expect that topical interest here is more into the instrument itself than the result it produces. Maybe it'll get brought back up from time to time.
>>>As for your previous comments about another plane crash you've been trying to write about for some time<<<
Thanks for your kind words about my bro. He was definitely a one-off type. The other crash I referred to was the bombing of Pan Am 103. I did editorial assistance for several years on a periodical called Truth Quest.. an association publication for victim families. There were 270, though the song I wrote about it focuses more on the 35 students from Syracuse University who were on the flight. Then, oddly enough, thirteen years after that, two of my own family members (aunt and cousin) were passengers on the first plane to crash at the Trade Center on 9/11.. so yeah.. airline terrorism is something I am actually quite well versed in. Just not an easy thing for me to write music for and have it turn out the way I want it to. Maybe eventually. My brother's crash, on the other hand, at least had a bit of glory to its history that could be exemplified in song.
>>>crash involving a C130<<<
You got it right.. a classic study in wing pressure overload. That incident was here in California, and loaned to total upheaval throughout the industry in terms of grounding all the heavy tankers in the USA, not just the C-130s, for a full season and a half. The newest preferred platform is the BAe-146. Much newer and safer than the old heavies were. I knock on wood when I say that since I still have many friends in the business.
>>>Still trying to decide a suitable tempo and vein for what direction to take it in.<<<
Aren't we all. It''s obviously difficult to "hear" what text lyrics have in mind for music.. but your last post definitely rigs true to your traditional Texas and southern style. And it's clear to see why your wife can get jealous about your musical "girlfriends".. or at least curious.. lol. Be sure to let us know when it's available on your sound site so the match up can be made with ears instead of eyes.
So on we go. Maybe someone else will eventually post some pieces on here.
Edited by Love O Fair 2018-03-28 4:33 PM
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Joined: January 2009 Posts: 4535
Location: Flahdaw | Love O Fair - 2018-03-28 5:30 PM
@DaveKell >>>I'd have thought there was surely more songwriters on this forum.<<<
I think there are, but probably not so inclined to participate on a thread like this is. After all, it is a guitar site, so I expect that topical interest here is more into the instrument itself than the result it produces. Maybe it'll get brought back up from time to time.
So on we go. Maybe someone else will eventually post some pieces on here.
Yeah, as much as I like unconventional threads on this forum, THIS one is a bit TOO specific. There are several very good "songwriting" forums on the net (Songstuff, TheSongwritersForum, NashvilleSongwriters, etc) where the interaction and feedplay would be much better for you guys. I think that's why there hasn't been any back and forth, but there has been quite a bit of "views".
But, by all means, continue.....the songs posted so far are really good. |
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Joined: November 2011 Posts: 741
Location: Fort Worth, TX | Darkbar - 2018-03-29 6:01 AM
But, by all means, continue.....the songs posted so far are really good.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for that comment. I was so hoping you'd post a second song so I could write and post Duane's Eyes. |
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Joined: November 2011 Posts: 741
Location: Fort Worth, TX | Here's the raw recording of LOVE AT FIRST NIGHT. Very much still a work in progress! https://soundcloud.com/user-566557345/love-at-first-night Don't worry, I'm done for awhile now. |
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Joined: January 2009 Posts: 4535
Location: Flahdaw | Ok DaveKell....just so you'll write "Duane's Eyes", here's an OLD song I wrote and never did anything with. But it still counts....
20 YEARS AGO (stupid title, I would change that now...)
I ‘m lying here in the dark, remembering a different night
A darkened path along the shore, not another soul in sight
Walking with you hand in hand
To where the ocean met the land
I spread a blanket on the sand, 20 years ago
The end of high school, summer break, we thought the world was ours to take
I met you at a party and I asked you for a date
I picked you up in my father’s car
A quiet movie and a noisy bar
Then that blanket beneath the stars, 20 years ago.
Teenage kids, a summer crush
We took our time, but felt the rush
The weeks crashed by like waves upon the sand
Before we knew it September came, I left for school, you did the same.
We promised that we’d write each day, but then life got in the way
Then someone told me you met a guy
I should’ve called but I didn’t try
And life moved on and time flew by, 20 years ago.
Teenage kids, a summer crush
We took our time, but felt the rush
The weeks crashed by like waves upon the sand
I thought about you yesterday, that’s why I’m writing you today
I searched and found your FaceBook page but I don’t know what to say.
I’m not trying to stir things up
I really don’t expect too much
I just thought that maybe we could get in touch again…
And smile about those days back then…. 20 years ago.
Edited by Darkbar 2018-03-29 4:07 PM
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Joined: August 2002 Posts: 8307
Location: Tennessee | DaveKell - I'd have thought there was surely more songwriters on this forum. There are, but I think no one wanted to interrupt your love fest. Haha. Lots of people wrote songs for the OFC albums that were issued. You should track them down and check them out. There are a number of truly outstanding compositions from some very talented people. Then of course a number of members here write and release music that get published and they get paid for playing in public to audiences and fans. Maybe some of them will chime in here. Much of the art of songwriting we strive for is writing the music parts and making them compliment, -nay, accentuate - the lyrics. I think I work harder at working out all the nuances of the instrumentation and playing all the parts than I do at writing the lyrics. And to be honest, the lyrics that usually make the cut to becoming a real song were all written very quickly ... in many cases measured in mere minutes ... not days, weeks or months. Anyway, if you're interested, here's a link to a page where I post some of my songs. All were self recorded and produced so please excuse the amateurishness that you will encounter. There may be a couple of covers, but nearly all are originals. https://www.reverbnation.com/bobborama/songs
Edited by stonebobbo 2018-03-29 5:22 PM
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Joined: February 2016 Posts: 1802
Location: When?? | @Darkbar - >>>Ok DaveKell....just so you'll write "Duane's Eyes"<<<
HA! Yes! I just knew it would come! Hit it, Dave. You have 24 hours.
In the meantime, Darkbar comes through with descriptive and mindful romance. Nice one there. I hear shades of "Summer of '42" in that one. Very nice.
@Stonebobbo - >>>I think no one wanted to interrupt your love fest. Haha.<<<
Hell, come on in. There's a tub of mazola over in the table if you want any.
Nice job on all your songs! I really liked your instrumental work on "Carmelo". Definitely some high spirit there. I'll be sure to roll it out whilst full moon hooting with buddies at the lake tomorrow night. For your vocals I'm going with "And I Turn" as my fave. Very cool on the spoken spread. I've been thinking of working on pieces like that since my voice is better suited to a narrative mix. I also have a couple dozen voice characters of many genre that I've honed and assimilated into daily life for decades who may sound interesting with musical background.. both serious and comedic.
I'm so new to recording.. and so crappy on singing.. and so stuck on an island with no one.. zero.. to jam and learn with. Thanks to people like you guys and others here who like to record I may just be inspired enough to get off my lazy butt someday soon and actually flip some switches and turn some knobs before the rats and roaches completely take over my studio.
Edited by Love O Fair 2018-03-29 8:33 PM
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Joined: August 2002 Posts: 8307
Location: Tennessee | Thanks for the kind words, LOF. As far as recording goes, you gotta just dive in.
I played a lot of different Ovations on all of those tunes. Carmelo features an Adamas OFC Slot Head (as a nod to Gary Hoey) using the stereo out panned fairly hard left and right along with being miked in center front to give it a cool full effect, and the lead guitar is my all mahogany Viper through a Fender Pro Reverb using the hot bridge pickup. There are no effects except for the tube reverb built into the Fender. I would’ve used my Strat so I’d have a trem, but I wrote it for the Day at the Beach OFC CD so The Viper got its day. I surprised myself with the tone I got and it gave me the more edgy surf guitar tone I was going for. Ovation guitars came through again. I played the bass part on an Ovation EAB68 Viper bass. I put the triangle into the mix as a tribute to Out of Limits by The Markettes (Glen Campbell played on a number of their recordings during his Wrecking Crew days). In some ways, it was harder to write an instrumental. |
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Joined: November 2011 Posts: 741
Location: Fort Worth, TX | stonebobbo - 2018-03-29 5:19 PM
All were self recorded and produced so please excuse the amateurishness that you will encounter.
Uh..... you're kidding, right? Everything in there was excellent. As for the recordings I've posted, 1) they were done with a free program on my shop computer I haven't learned how to use completely, 2) the mic was a cheap gold ball looking usb thing I don't even remember where it came from, 3) I haven't figured out the filters/effects to make my voice into anything even remotely resembling anything people would want to listen to! I just turned 65 and only started singing 8 months ago after I began attending a weekly jam where everyone has to sing the songs they play. While I AM better at it than over half the other attendees, I'm still usually not motivated to attend because of my subpar voice. I mean, some people just CAN'T sing and I'm at the head of that line. I keep going though because of my friendship with the legendary old Texas picker who runs the jam and is teaching me how to improvise solos. It's kind of incredible to watch an 83 year old man take off his cowboy hat to play his Telecaster up behind his head and never flub a note of a long intricate solo.
Really Stonebobbo, you're the type of guy who makes me think entering a songwriting competition was a colossal waste of effort! Thanks for the link to your site. Thoroughly enjoyed it.
LOF and Darkbar... while I have every intention of writing Duane's Eyes, the fact that Darkbar's second submission came days later then the first of the required two in all fairness exempts me from the aforementioned 24 hours to post it. In reality, I'll be spending most of today rehearsing a couple new songs for tonights jam and all day tomorrow I'll be visiting the niece of my friend who passed last year. She needs a little help moving more stuff into her new house an hour and a half drive from me. Rest assured though that Duane's Eyes is already percolating in my mind. |
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Joined: February 2016 Posts: 1802
Location: When?? | >>>in all fairness exempts me from the aforementioned 24 hours to post it.<<<
Okay.. 48 hours. But that's it. If it's no-show in the 49th hour we're calling the sheriff and an attorney. |
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Joined: November 2011 Posts: 741
Location: Fort Worth, TX | I'll apologize in advance for the length of this post. Song lyrics can take up a lot of room, especially when you're presenting for comparison the original as written and the final after revising it and getting the syllables sung to match a melody! This was originally titled Small Steps. Below I'll show how I rewrote it into something better I think. My Nashville songwriter friend said the second version had a good, memorable hook and would appeal more to women whom he said were the current largest purchasers of music (not that I expect anybody to EVER be buying anything I wrote!).
Baby steps, small steps, call 'em what you will
Not moving fast, crawling, or even standing still
I'll give all the time it takes to end up in your heart
Even stopping awhile till it's time again to start
Love at first sight I never believed was true
But here I am now, and the rest is up to you
Turning out the lights, I'll hold you in the dark
Shutting off my car I'll shove the gear in park
IF IT'S SMALL STEPS YOU WANT THEN THAT'S WHAT YOU'LL GET
LAUGHING IN A POURING RAIN AND GETTING SOAKING WET
WE CAN TALK ALL NIGHT TILL OUR FACES BOTH TURN BLUE,
IF SMALL STEPS ARE WHAT IT TAKES TO END UP WITH YOU
I'VE NEVER BEEN KNOWN TO GO THIS WAY BEFORE, BUT
I'LL SLOW MY ROLL IF THAT'S HOW I'LL GET IN YOUR DOOR
(bridge) We just met and you've yet to figure out
What this feeling is really all about
There's no secrets when it comes to me
What you get is truly what you see
The music in this bar makes it hard to hear a sound
There's enough light to see though what I really found
I'm not using any pickup lines on you tonight
All I have to say is I wanna treat you right
Your hand on my knee, laughing, is a really good sign
The smile on your face shows you could end up mine
I'm glad you agreed we need to find a quieter place
If you're falling in love, it's showing on your face (CHORUS)
(tag)
I didn't come here tonight with any plan of what to do
I'm lovin' the jealous looks I get walkin' out with you
AND NOW THE REWRITE TITLED "LOVE AT FIRST NIGHT"
I shut off the car, I put the gear in park
Turnin' out the light, I held you in the dark
We just met & you haven't figured out
What this feeling is really all about
But it's no secret when it comes to me
I'll tell you what it is I'm sure I see
THIS IS LOVE AT FIRST NIGHT, THIS IS WHAT WE FOUND
THE MUSIC IN THAT BAR MADE IT HARD TO HEAR A SOUND
WE WERE FALLING IN LOVE, I SAW IT ON YOUR FACE
I WAS HAPPY YOU SAID "LET'S FIND A QUIETER PLACE"
THIS IS LOVE AT FIRST NIGHT, IT'LL LAST... WHEN THE SKY... TURNS BLUE
LOVE AT FIRST NIGHT, BEING HERE WITH YOU
Baby steps, small steps, call 'em what you will
Slowin' to a crawl, or even standing still
I didn't come here with a plan of what to do
I got a lot of jealous looks leavin' with you
I'll admit this never happened before
& I'm glad tonight found me at your door
(bridge)
We were strangers until this night
Don't question why it feels so right
What we have is truly what you see
There's no other way it could be (CHORUS)
Okay, I'm completely done except for the Duane's Eyes I owe Darkbar. Coming soon.
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Joined: February 2016 Posts: 1802
Location: When?? | Dave, if it's women you want to like the song-- while the part about shutting of the car and turning off the light in the dark with a stranger she just met may sound exciting from a typical drinking man's point of view.. I think it might come off sounding kinda scary-creepy for a typical woman's taste. Then again, if the listener is the type that normally leaves bars and gets into strange mens' vehicles, she may dig it.. lol. Depends on which women you're trying to reach, I guess. You said that you're into wording and phrasing suggestions.. so that's just my $0.02 worth.
Edited by Love O Fair 2018-03-30 11:55 AM
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Joined: November 2011 Posts: 741
Location: Fort Worth, TX | Love O Fair - 2018-03-30 11:35 AM
Dave, if it's women you want to like the song-- while the part about shutting of the car and turning off the light in the dark with a stranger she just met may sound exciting from a typical drinking man's point of view.. I think it might come off sounding kinda scary-creepy for a typical woman's taste. Then again, if the listener is the type that normally leaves bars and gets into strange mens' vehicles, she may dig it.. lol. Depends on which women you're trying to reach, I guess. You said that you're into wording and phrasing suggestions.. so that's just my $0.02 worth.
Since I didn't get married until I was 26 (to a then 19 year old I'm still with 39 years later), I actually came across quite a number of those women. Society as it is all these years later, I'm sure they those women have proliferated to a great extent. And even then, it might appeal to other women's fantasies. |
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Joined: January 2009 Posts: 4535
Location: Flahdaw | "And even then, it might appeal to other women's fantasies."
Exactly! "Good" women habitually read trash novels that usually include some wayward rogue of a man (with a big chest and bulging biceps) who essentially rapes the innocent virgin in a night of half drunken debauchery. They eat that stuff up! |
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Joined: February 2016 Posts: 1802
Location: When?? | Okay, okay.. I should have said "ladies". But you said "women", so I digress to the part of my post that starts with "Then again...".
Or.. a new recommendation. Just reword it with something like, "rapes the innocent virgin in a night of half drunken debauchery". Wow, hey, I think I may be onto penning a whole new tune here! I'll get back to yas.
Edited by Love O Fair 2018-03-30 4:37 PM
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Joined: August 2011 Posts: 887
Location: Always beautiful canyon country of Utah | Only 39 years?? |
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Joined: January 2009 Posts: 4535
Location: Flahdaw | Speaking of "a night of drunken debauchery", I fully expect the song "Duane's Eyes" to be revealing look into the twisted mind and gut-wrenching history of DaveKell. Otherwise I'll be extremely disappointed... |
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Joined: February 2016 Posts: 1802
Location: When?? | >>>twisted mind and gut-wrenching history of DaveKell<<<
Since it's an Allman thing, perhaps something about a whipping post? |
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Joined: January 2009 Posts: 4535
Location: Flahdaw | Now THAT'S funny! |
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Joined: November 2011 Posts: 741
Location: Fort Worth, TX | Here's another of my latest lyrics. It's one I affectionately call DUANE'S EYES. Total time to write 13:11. Realizing it's on a public forum I had to show a lot of restraint (yeah, I know. I was surprised too).
He sat alone in the corner of a smoky dark bar
I watched him in my opioid haze
I said "man I know you from somewhere"
He said "I get that a lot these days"
He invited me to sit and placed his hand on my thigh
I wondered what was goin' on
He said "they call me Skydog & I've never known why"
Before I knew it daylight was gone
He said "let's go to my bus, it's parked out back"
In the dark I saw a sign on its side
With bad letter spacing cos the signpainter was a hack
With the All man Brothers Band I ride
DUANE'S EYES, WHEN HE LOOKED AT ME
I GOT A SHIVER UP & DOWN MY SPINE
IF I WAS TIED TIGHT TO A WHIPPING POST
THE FEELING COULDN'T HAVE BEEN MORE FINE
I TOLD MYSELF NOT TO WORRY, THIS IS ONLY BROTHERLY LOVE
WE DID THE TOUR BUS TANGO INTO THE NIGHT
BUT IT WAS GREGG I WAS DREAMIN' OF
Duane got pissed and said "you're batshit crazy
I'm the brother of your dreams
And if you try to bust my bubble again
Nobody's gonna hear your screams"
Trying to defuse the tension, I picked up his guitar
I said "brother do I have a song for you"
I ripped into one I wrote called Georgia in Atlanta
He said "is that the best you can do?"
I tried to put out his fire with another I wrote
A song called How Did We Get Here
He grabbed his guitar and said "we'll play it like this"
Then he opened me another beer
DUANE'S EYES, WHEN HE LOOKED AT ME
I GOT A SHIVER UP & DOWN MY SPINE
IF I WAS TIED TIGHT TO A WHIPPING POST
THE FEELING COULDN'T HAVE BEEN MORE FINE
I TOLD MYSELF NOT TO WORRY, THIS IS ONLY BROTHERLY LOVE
WE DID THE TOUR BUS TANGO INTO THE NIGHT
BUT IT WAS GREGG I WAS DREAMIN' OF
(tag)
I leaned a lesson that night, one I'm sure will take me far
When I find myself in an opioid haze I'll stay out of any dark bar
Edited by DaveKell 2018-04-01 10:16 AM
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Joined: February 2016 Posts: 1802
Location: When?? | Boy, that's some racy stuff. Good job, Dave! But I can't remember for sure the details of the lyric challenge, so remind me.. was this supposed to be based on true fact.. or no? |
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Joined: November 2011 Posts: 741
Location: Fort Worth, TX | Love O Fair - 2018-04-01 12:53 PM
Boy, that's some racy stuff. Good job, Dave! But I can't remember for sure the details of the lyric challenge, so remind me.. was this supposed to be based on true fact.. or no?
I don't recall stipulations. I incorporated every title Darkbar ascribed to me in another thread into the lyrics. |
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Joined: February 2016 Posts: 1802
Location: When?? | @DaveKell - >>>I incorporated every title Darkbar ascribed to me<<<
Yep. I noticed that. Nice touch. I was kind of thinking you might toss us a curve and make the whole story content about a case of cataracts or macular degeneration.
Edited by Love O Fair 2018-04-01 8:45 PM
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Joined: January 2009 Posts: 4535
Location: Flahdaw | I hate to admit it, and will probably regret saying this, but that was pretty good.
There, now I can go back to taking potshots and hurling subtle insults. Carry on..... |
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Joined: November 2011 Posts: 741
Location: Fort Worth, TX | Darkbar - 2018-04-02 5:41 AM
I hate to admit it, and will probably regret saying this, but that was pretty good.
There, now I can go back to taking potshots and hurling subtle insults. Carry on.....
It was only an exercise in the Sir Paul McCartney method of songwriting. I might have mentioned this before. I saw him being interviewed about it. He said something to the effect of "there are words and phrases swirling around us in the ether we exist in. You just have to open your mind to reach out and grab them", at which point in the interview he was raising his hand in the air looking like he was grasping something. In this case however, I had to wait for specific words and phrases to float by.
The best potshot of all time you took was our previous back and forth about the Allman's where I mentioned every song title on an album save for Little Martha. Of course you spotted it and zinged me good. I still read it when I need a good laugh. |
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Joined: February 2016 Posts: 1802
Location: When?? | Darkbar & DaveKell... y'all crack me up. I can only imagine what it would be like if you two were kid brothers in the back seat on a long road trip. Mom trying to come up with road games and songs to sing, and Dad yearning for the late afternoon moment when a hotel with a bar appears on the horizon. Gotta love this family. |
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Joined: November 2011 Posts: 741
Location: Fort Worth, TX | Love O Fair - 2018-04-02 10:17 AM
Darkbar & DaveKell... y'all crack me up. I can only imagine what it would be like if you two were kid brothers in the back seat on a long road trip. Mom trying to come up with road games and songs to sing, and Dad yearning for the late afternoon moment when a hotel with a bar appears on the horizon. Gotta love this family.
Mom would've liked him best. |
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Joined: March 2007 Posts: 841
Location: CA | Last Gunfighter's Lament
It's a chilly wind that moans tonight
'Neath another dusty moon
Blows me down to a one-horse town
And the Silver Creek Saloon
Another chance to rest up from the game
With another game of chance
Another night to hope some young man
Don't want to do the devil's dance
Well I rode with Frank and Jesse
Back in '68
I was dealing cards when Hickok
Got his aces and eights
I knew John Wesley Hardin
Bill Bonney and the rest
Now the devils' the only one who knows
Which was the very best
Chorus
Well the West it ain't so wild no more
Except Bill Cody's show
The Injun wars are over
And there's no more buffalo
And the men who lived life by the gun
By the gun they fell
There's just one left to know the creed
Just one left to tell
Got my back against the wall
One eye on the door.
One hand 'neath the table
On my nickel .44
Red Eye whiskey's what we're drinkin'
Five-card is our game
And the barmaid she'a a smilin'
Cause someone told her my name
Chorus 2
Then the swinging doors swing open
And I catch the glimpse of steel
I see the smoke and lightning
And I hear the thunder peel
Now the .44's a jumpin
And a body hits the floor
Two lifeless eyes wide with surprise
And I hear the silence roar.
I'll be ridin' out 'for morning
For so long that's how it's been
With a heart a bit more empty
And a soul more full of sin
I know somewhere I pine box waits
And a bullet wears my name
And they'll lay me 'neath a dusty moon
Last loser of the game. |
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Joined: August 2011 Posts: 887
Location: Always beautiful canyon country of Utah | Got a tune to go with it?? |
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Joined: March 2007 Posts: 841
Location: CA | Tune, yes. Never knew much about recording, tho. One of these days... |
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Joined: November 2011 Posts: 741
Location: Fort Worth, TX | Oddball - 2018-04-04 11:32 AM
Tune, yes. Never knew much about recording, tho. One of these days...
All I can say is WOW!!! Being in Texas, I've had some ideas for a western song to write. I don't see much point in it now. This is great. Thanks for getting involved in the discussion. Mind if I try to set it to music to play at my jam this Friday? |
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Joined: February 2016 Posts: 1802
Location: When?? | Good one, Oddball! I enjoyed the lyric read. I hope we get to hear it "one of these days". Kind of reminds me of Glendon Swarthout's "The Shootist", when J.B. Books turned the corner into the 20th century and finally found a bullet with his 19th century name on it.
Speaking of which.. movie buffs may be interested to know that while the film version story took place in Carson City, Nevada.. the original book version was in El Paso, Texas.
Edited by Love O Fair 2018-04-04 12:49 PM
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Joined: November 2011 Posts: 741
Location: Fort Worth, TX | I was at a songwriters circle last night at a local coffee shop and when I went in and heard the first couple of guitarists I instantly felt my guitar would serve me better if it was busted up for kindling wood in my fireplace. As I listened to one of the most awesome fingerstyle players I've ever sat across from playing a song he wrote I was struck by the fact that his lyrics had no impact on me or anybody else there. In fact, every song he "wrote" seemed to be for the purpose of adding background to his incredible guitar chops. I reluctantly played my first song as my turn came and to my surprise the gathering came alive. In fact, a long period of discussion followed it. I was, as I continually am, amazed at the range of praise I get for what I write. Now if I had just learned to pick like THAT guy!
I honestly have no idea why I even attempt this anymore. The world is overpopulated with songwriters and literally thousands of songs collect dust on every publishers shelves in the world. Maybe if I was still a younger guy with a fire in my belly I'd allow myself the thought that this might be worth pursuing. As it is now though I have no idea why this compulsion to write persists. Hell, even at my age if I could sing like Darkbar I might feel there was a point to it.
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Joined: February 2016 Posts: 1802
Location: When?? | Wow, Dave.. was that a suicide note? |
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Joined: November 2011 Posts: 741
Location: Fort Worth, TX | Love O Fair - 2018-04-06 9:42 AM
Wow, Dave.. was that a suicide note?
Haha. THAT is a comment I'd expect from Darkbar! No, it's just me trying to talk myself out of this compulsion I have to keep writing. I see no ultimate purpose for it and have no idea why I continue with it. There is the fact that two people have expressed an interest in including a song of mine on their next recording session, but neither of them are names anybody would recognize with the exception of a rising star in Texas music circles. So what? I've already learned from a friend of over 40 years in Nashville who has had some good songs recorded by top names that there is incredibly little money to be made from the pursuit. Dog grooming is infinitely more lucrative. The old guy who puts on the jam I go to every week got me started on this and at times I'd like to punch him in the mouth for it. Maybe my dad was right when he laughed at me for it. |
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Joined: February 2016 Posts: 1802
Location: When?? | I guess it all depends on if you go into it as an artist or an entrepreneur. Funny thing about art-- so many people consider it as a worthy endeavor only if others see/hear/read/approve it. That's very wrong. At least in my opinion it is. What turns out as my best work is always.. always.. what makes ME happy. If someone else likes how it sounds, then dandy. If not, then it just isn't THEIR fancy. TFB. It's still art. Now, I've read you time and time again as saying that you are not into music to impress others or to gain fortune or fame. So which is it? I mean, haven't you ever painted a sign that just blew your mind in the end, but ended up getting "meh" reviews from others? I'd bet so. But you knew that it was you who was right because they aren't sign painters, right? Same thing here. It sounds to me like you need to take that guitar and go art yourself.
Edited by Love O Fair 2018-04-06 10:44 AM
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Joined: March 2005 Posts: 12755
Location: Boise, Idaho | I basically write for a living and it's really boring. I can also edit my work or someone else's work until I get tired of it or a deadline comes. I could do the same with songs and I'm sure I'd eventually find that to be boring. I agree there are tons of great songs out there already. We have a local songwriter's group that I've considered, but I just don't know that I want to spend the time writing my own stuff. I have figured out that I'm happy playing and I'm happier playing and singing. If performing didn't make me happier still, then I don't see the point, unless performing was a key motivator for me to keep playing and singing.
My point is, if writing makes you happy, do it. If your group motivates you to keep writing, great. If you think at 65 you have time to become a commercially successful songwriter, get real. When I get to be 65 (next week), I want to do what makes me happy. |
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Joined: July 2003 Posts: 3111
Location: Nashville TN. | Good Stuff |
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Joined: May 2008 Posts: 1555
Location: Indiana | Dave, how long did it take you as a sign painter to become proficient? How many years to "as good as it gets"?
I've been following this thread, and your Kerrville post from the perspective of someone who's been in songwriting, publishing and plugging for over 40 years. The majority of my friends are writers. Most have gotten up every day for decades and... written.
Like me, many have been staff writers for some period where it's your job to show up everyday and write.
There is money to be made writing songs. But it's not the sole motivation... and it can't be... it's not a given you will be rewarded for the pursuit.
Writers write.
Keep at it if it's in your gut. You very likely won't see instant gratification though.
You write because you need to, and you have something unique to say.
You have some great Texan writers to aspire to, by the way.
Van Zandt, Clark, Newbury. You can't go wrong going to school on them. |
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Joined: January 2009 Posts: 4535
Location: Flahdaw | PEZ - 2018-04-06 6:23 PM
Good Stuff
See, DaveKell. Now PEZ is a perfect example. Has been living and working at songwriting in Nashville for several years now. Ask him how much money he has made selling his songs so far.
What do ya say, PEZ.....has it been lucrative yet? We all know how hard you've worked at it. |
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Joined: February 2016 Posts: 1802
Location: When?? | @Mark in Boise - >>>If you think at 65 you have time to become a commercially successful songwriter, get real. When I get to be 65 (next week), I want to do what makes me happy.<<<
To Mark-- here's wishing you a pre-happy 65th birthday. Is it what you thought it would be??
To DaveKell-- See above quote from Mark. I fully agree. And it isn't that someone cannot eeek out a tune that sells. Anyone, regardless of age, can do that if the skill set is there and it just happens to meet a specific market demand and, more importantly, the corresponding people and organizations involved, during a given time frame; however, one must also come to full terms with what was said by Jonmark Stone, someone with decades of musical experience-- and I quote--
"It's not a given you will be rewarded for the pursuit. Writers write."
Man, oh, man.. is that ever the truth. I've been writing (non-musical/lyrical) since adolescence, and have half a dozen boxes of pre-digital paper stacked up. When I dig something out, be it for reference or just for posterity grins, I always seem to find myself asking---
"I wrote that? Not bad."
or
"I wrote that? Quick, burn it before someone walks in."
Yep. Writers write.. and there are millions of us. Spin the wheel. The only dimes I have ever collected for it have been from sporadic clients who requested something specific. Nary a cent has ever been collected from anything that has been offered into the blind or complimented by casual observers.
For guys like us it's mostly, if not always, just a case of "Ars Gratia Artis"
Translated-- "Art For Art's Sake"
Edited by Love O Fair 2018-04-07 2:25 PM
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Joined: May 2008 Posts: 1555
Location: Indiana | I will add one more little piece of advice, then I'll go away quietly... and, honestly, I'm not trying to pee on your barbeque, Dave. Watch your wallet closely whenever someone in LA, Nashville or NY tells you you've just written the greatest song ever. For a modest sum, we can record a demo sure to get this placed to artist X.
That's the oldest line in the business. |
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Joined: February 2016 Posts: 1802
Location: When?? | @Jonmark Stone - >>>then I'll go away quietly<<<
Oh, man... just when the plot began to thicken.
Edited by Love O Fair 2018-04-07 11:34 PM
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Joined: January 2009 Posts: 4535
Location: Flahdaw | Love O Fair - 2018-04-06 10:42 AM
Wow, Dave.. was that a suicide note?
No way...it was only two paragraphs long. We'll know it's a DaveKell suicide note when the site crashes |
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Joined: November 2011 Posts: 741
Location: Fort Worth, TX | Jonmark Stone - 2018-04-06 8:38 PM Dave, how long did it take you as a sign painter to become proficient? How many years to "as good as it gets"? Hi Jon... thanks for the reply and perspectives. I labored through the whims of 3 master sign painters for a few years, sweeping their floors and cleaning their brushes before they would teach me anything. I eventually learned effective design and spacing and brush techniques. And yes, I did attain to as good as it gets finally and went out on my own and made a great living I was able to retire from at age 58 after years of owning my own business. I've been following this thread, and your Kerrville post from the perspective of someone who's been in songwriting, publishing and plugging for over 40 years. The majority of my friends are writers. Most have gotten up every day for decades and... written. Like me, many have been staff writers for some period where it's your job to show up everyday and write. My friend of 45 years in Nashville told me his stories as well, beginning as a staff writer in LA and eventually Nashville. The pay for these positions I gather provided enough for a subsisten income, at least he didn't starve. Many album cuts came from it but no hits. I gather it was during this time he had a song on a Garth Brooks album that was the only one Garth didn't write himself. That to me would be enough to hang your hat on. I saw a documentary about the hundreds of people living out of their cars in Nashville down by the river, all of them pursuing the same break. Right now my college roommate from 44 years ago, who owns a big ranch in Utah and also wrote a song for his frined Chris Ladoue, has 4 or 5 songs he's interested in going to Nashville to pitch on his own. He said he has enough money to live there for up to a year to try this and invited me to go along. After the stats I've read about others doing this I'm entirely uninterested. We'd be up against the machine you described and the infinitesmal number of people who overcome that I can easily reason means it would be a futile waste of his money. I've gathered only a handful of writers, guys like Fred Koller, are the ones routinely responsible for the vast majority of what comes out of Nashville. Until you've hit that league, nobody cares if you've written the next monster hit that could provide sweeping change of direction in anybody's recording career. The machine sounds counter productive to me in that regard. There is money to be made writing songs. But it's not the sole motivation... and it can't be... it's not a given you will be rewarded for the pursuit. I've read enough already to be in total agreement with you there. Otherwise why would so many sane individuals go camp in their cars along the river, at least hoping to get a staff position such as you described? Being a song factory minion sounds like a frustarting endeavor to me, but I actually have little insight into it I'll freely admit. I'm sure many feel like they've finally arrived at that point. Writers write. Keep at it if it's in your gut. You very likely won't see instant gratification though. You write because you need to, and you have something unique to say. It seems almost every day I have a song idea I pursue. Yesterday for instance, my wife and I were a vendor at a big, busy craft fair. With several people browsing our offerings, what was I doing? Ignoring all of them and writing a song. I'm about to leave for a big Nascar race my oldest son got great tickets for but in reality, I'd rather stay out in my shop and work on this song! As I've said, I only began this about 8 months ago. In that short time, I'm continually amazed at the response I'm getting at my weekly jam and a songwriters circle I attend weekly. I don't believe the assessment I've gotten of my lyrics being as good as it gets but am totally bewildered by how they're recived. You've read my lyrics I've posted and heard my feebl raw recordings of them, what's your opinion of my potential? Should I continue or just keep painting signs? You have some great Texan writers to aspire to, by the way. Van Zandt, Clark, Newbury. You can't go wrong going to school on them. Funny you'd mention John Townes VanZandt. His grave is about 20 feet away from my mother, brother and sister in a nearby cemetary. I always stop and visit him awhile when I go there. So far, he hasn't shown any inclination to collaborate with me! But if I ever do hear a voice when I'm there I'll keep it to myself and be very encouraged! As for financial renumeration being in my future for songwriting, I don't see that at all in my future. In fact, at this point I'd almost gladly be one of those idiots to give my ownership in a song away to the scoundrels who prey on new writers if it would ever mean I'd get to hear anything I wrote on the radio. I'm finacially set in retirement and live a very good life now. I have no real need to aspire to a songwriting income. My comments about giving it up center around the difficulty in navigating the vast bureaucracy involved in a song ever being cut. So many middlemen involved. Was there ever a time you'd write a song and give it directly to an artist and later hear it being played? A huge industry has gotten in the way of how I think it should work, but I'm certain it grew out of some necessity. I just don't have a motivation to participate in it, but will keep writing anyway. A young, local artist I've known since he was a child gained a lot of airplay on Dallas and Fort Worth country radio in the recent past. He played concerts in big venues as an opening act for many major stars. Right now he's interested in two of my songs for his next album. That would be enough for me. |
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Joined: May 2008 Posts: 1555
Location: Indiana | I'll try and hit on a few high points without quoting your post verbatim. I'm wearing a different hat at the moment finishing a remodel of my house.
The period of my life I spent staff writing was sort of a college/post grad 8 years as a young man. It was perfect at the time but wouldn't be right now. I did find towards the end that I was writing to write and not because I was writing something important. I'm at the stage now where I only write the songs that won't let me sleep. Honestly, I could go the rest of my life and never write another song. But I have to perform live for people.. It's much more important now.
My opinion of what you're doing shouldn't matter a rats butt to you if writing is something you're finding fulfilling right now. My judgment, one way or another, is often questionable anyway. True story, I was fielding submissions for a major artist we were working with many years ago and passed on "Wind Beneath My Wings" about 8 months before the first of many block busting recordings of that song.
Townes was brilliant... and tortured. May even have been a casualty of the business.
Ever a time to write and see it go directly to an artist successfully? Yes. My biggest selling song happened that way. Less than a week from writing to bumping a song off a major album. It was fulfilling. I bought a new car. But, in keeping with the train of thought... that album went gold, but my most cherrished cut sold very little.
My first was recorded by Tennessee Ernie Ford... which flopped, but verified my career choice to my parents and started a long time friendship with a pretty special man.
Carry on. |
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Joined: February 2016 Posts: 1802
Location: When?? | My take on it--
A sharp dressed man in a Cadillac shows up and hands a fat, juicy contract to the guy parked next to me. So I roll my window down, and above the crowd along the river, I say to the man--- "I'm just now finishing up a piece titled "The Ducky Song". It's a ballad about my niece's kid and her endless supply of crayons, beach towels and Pez dispensers. You wanna buy it?"
Annoyed by my intrusion, he says "no"... so I roll my window back up and return focus to my Cup o' Noodles. Just happy to have a song of my very own, and a car radio that picks up baseball games. Could be worse, I guess, since at that moment there could be someone dying somewhere from static electricity charges generated by the dust storm they got caught in while trying to find their lost donkey. I'd think a 1996 Nissan parked along a Nashville river bank would look pretty good to them, even without a guitar. Yep, could be worse. |
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Joined: November 2011 Posts: 741
Location: Fort Worth, TX | Just as an aside to these discussions, here is something I came up with for a comedy song challenge. Total time to write about 15 minutes, and believe me it shows. I call it THE TRESPASSER.
Grandma's in the cellar
Oh my God can't ya smell her
Cookin' pancakes on an old rusty stove
And the matter in her eyes
Keeps drippin' in the batter and
The snot keeps runnin' down her nose
Grampa's in the kitchen
He just got back from fishin'
Now there's fish guts all over the floor
Lickin' worm goo off his fingers
The smell of 'em lingers as he slips
And bangs his head on the door
Grandma comes a runnin'
Grampa's up and cussin'
She plants a big wet one on his cheek
Their odors are outrageous but
Their motors git to runnin'
They go skinny dippin' in the creek
They get spotted that day
The guy quickly looks away
His first thought was to call the law
Cop asks what did you see
He says believe me if I say
It'll only serve to make your skin crawl
They was splishin' and a splashin'
Skinny old butts flashin'
Then they stood & hugged for all to see
They was all over each other
Believe me brother when I say
It's a bonafide case of public indecency
The cop gave the guy a ticket
There was laughter from a nearby thicket
The guy says officer I just don't understand
The cop said I'll explain it to you
This is what I do when I find
Trespassers on my grandparents land |
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Joined: March 2007 Posts: 841
Location: CA | Had the usual teenage dreams of a career playing the guitar and being a rock ***. A scenario captured well in Bryan Adams "Summer of '69". The guys in our high school band also lost interest, life got in the way and, well, that was that. I have enjoyed occasional jams with other guit players over the years, and even more occasional times (counted on one hand) where it all seemed to click and people seemed to really enjoy hearing just me. I don't 'write' songs because I don't read music, but I've made up a bunch of them over the years. No illusions that any will ever see the light of day and that's okay because it was fun just to create them. At my age (a tad north of 65), when the muse knocks, you don't ignore him - or her. These days I must be goaded and coaxed - a lot - to play in front of people. Just where I'm at these days. Keep swearing that THIS year I'm really going to learn GarageBand, looping and all that stuff and record some of my creations. But funny thing about life - it's STILL getting in the way! Thoreau sure nailed it when he wrote, "Most men live lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them." I figure I'm going with a couple albums worth. LOL |
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Joined: February 2016 Posts: 1802
Location: When?? | Dave... call Ray Stevens! I think you have a hit with that one! |
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Joined: November 2011 Posts: 741
Location: Fort Worth, TX | Love O Fair - 2018-04-09 4:22 PM
Dave... call Ray Stevens! I think you have a hit with that one!
I was told the same thing about Ray Stevens after playing my first funny song on two different occasions. This one is pure schlock. |
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Joined: November 2011 Posts: 741
Location: Fort Worth, TX | DaveKell - 2018-04-09 8:04 AM
Just as an aside to these discussions, here is something I came up with for a comedy song challenge. Total time to write about 15 minutes, and believe me it shows. I call it THE TRESPASSER.
Grandma's in the cellar
Oh my God can't ya smell her
Cookin' pancakes on an old rusty stove
And the matter in her eyes
Keeps drippin' in the batter and
The snot keeps runnin' down her nose
So, this first verse is something my dad taught me going on 60 years ago now. I THOUGHT he made it up. After playing this song at a songwriter circle last night, one old guy said he thought he'd heard something like it before. So, I come home and google the first line and, lo and behold, find that this is an ancient old ditty... but just the first verse. It goes into variations of lice on her body end up in rice, hair on her legs end up in eggs, and on and on ad nauseum. The rest of the song is ALL mine, now I just have to do an original first verse so it can stand on its own. Of course, by now, the original old ditty might be in public domain (if it was ever published). |
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Joined: February 2016 Posts: 1802
Location: When?? | Yep, Dave, you're right. And not only that, is was MY own dad wrote it and registered the copyright in 1967.. to whom I am the sole heir to his estate.. which means that this is TWICE now that I have filed in court on you! You're in big trouble, sonny. Big, big trouble. |
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Joined: November 2011 Posts: 741
Location: Fort Worth, TX | Love O Fair - 2018-04-13 6:06 PM
Yep, Dave, you're right. And not only that, is was MY own dad wrote it and registered the copyright in 1967.. to whom I am the sole heir to his estate.. which means that this is TWICE now that I have filed in court on you! You're in big trouble, sonny. Big, big trouble.
I'm in nowhere near the jam Taylor Swift is. Read this morning she's facing a 300 million dollar infringement lawsuit for a recent hit song of "hers" that a guy in Jamaica wrote and recorded back in '98. Identical melody and several lines copied verbatim. A judgement for the full amount would almost wipe out her entire net worth. |
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Joined: August 2002 Posts: 597
Location: Ottawa, Ontario, CANADA | Hey Guys,
I wrote this particular ditty when I was in high school, c.,1974? , and it surprised everybody at the time!
"This Is The Shortest Song In The World!"
Mike S.
Ottawa, ON.,
CANADA
Edited by Mike S. 2018-04-14 4:03 PM
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Joined: February 2016 Posts: 1802
Location: When?? | @DaveKell - >>>I'm in nowhere near the jam Taylor Swift is<<<
If that ends up being true and goes to settlement.. ouch!
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Joined: February 2016 Posts: 1802
Location: When?? | @Mike S. - >>>"This Is The Shortest Song In The World!"<<<
Oh, great. Now I have it stuck in my head... over and over and over. Gee, thanks, Mike. |
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Joined: August 2002 Posts: 597
Location: Ottawa, Ontario, CANADA | Hey, Love O Fair,
You're Welcome, I think? The hook is supposed to do that, so guess it still works, some 40 years later. I never even copyrighted it, or published it at the time, because it was just basically a fill-in between songs that my sisters, and I, were singing at a banquet, for my late Dad. I couldn't find my capo for the next song I was actually supposed to be playing, so one of my sisters said, "DO SOMETHING until we find it, and do it NOW!" That's when the song came out, and it got a laugh, so then we sang it at every banquet for my Dad, for the 10 years, until we all finally got sick of it. Still, whenever my sisters and I get together for a visit, guess what song they want to sing?...
Mike S.
Ottawa, ON.,
CANADA |
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Joined: November 2011 Posts: 741
Location: Fort Worth, TX | My attempt at something other than the ancient country sounding songs. I call it Gettin' Off This Train
AIN'T FEELIN' IT TODAY, SO WHAT'M I TO DO?
FEELIN' LIKE A HAMMER, TRYIN' TO DRIVE A SCREW
LIFE'S PASSIN' BY, BUT I DON'T SEEM TO CARE
I FEEL LIKE A TRAIN THAT AIN'T GOIN' ANYWHERE
Woke up this mornin', nothin' on my mind
Diggin' in a drawer, no socks left to find
Lookin' in my closet, no pants on the rack
Feelin' like a train that's run outa track
Wife said it's over, she ain't gonna stay
Yep, it's really shapin' up to be a fine day
Wearin' dirty clothes again, socks that stink
The pantry's empty, no coffee to drink
Feelin' like a dog that wants to be fed
Now a depression's takin' over my head
Ring, ring, ring, I can't find the phone
Couldn't give a flip, just leave me alone
AIN'T FEELIN' IT TODAY, SO WHAT'M I TO DO?
FEELIN' LIKE A HAMMER, TRYIN' TO DRIVE A SCREW
LIFE'S PASSIN' BY, BUT I DON'T REALLY CARE
I FEEL LIKE A TRAIN THAT AIN'T GOIN' ANYWHERE
Rackin' my brain, hopin' for a resolution
I'm really only reachin' this conclusion
This day's gonna suck, I need it to end
Feelin' like a car that won't steer around the bend
LIFE'S PASSIN' BY, BUT I DON'T REALLY CARE
GETTIN' OFF THIS TRAIN, IT AIN'T GOIN' ANYWHERE
GETTIN' OFF THIS TRAIN, IT AIN'T GOIN' ANYWHERE
Edited by DaveKell 2018-04-16 3:41 PM
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Joined: November 2011 Posts: 741
Location: Fort Worth, TX | Here's a new one I wrote this morning. I'm sure some of you can relate. It's called OLD GUITARS.
The old bluesmen from down in Mississippi
With Sears & Roebuck guitars from the thirties
Wailin' away with their plaintive sound
Created a style that's still around
The hillbillies from the Appalachians
All the way south down to the Cajuns
With Martin guitars, fiddles and banjos
Created their style so the story goes
Young kids with electric guitars
Singin' about girls, surfin' and cars
When you reach the push comes to shove
Created a style we all love
OLD GUITARS ON THE WALL TELL A STORY
THEY'RE STILL IN THEIR DAYS OF GLORY
MILLIONS BEGAN PLAYIN' 'EM IN '64
AFTER THE BEATLES CAME TO AMERICA'S SHORE
SO MANY OLD GUITARS ARE STILL AROUND
SCARRED FROM HARD NIGHTS ON THE TOWN
AND YOU KNOW THE WORLD STILL SINGS
TO MUSIC FROM OLD GUITAR STRINGS
Old guitars all down through the ages
Have been played on so many stages
From Carnegie Hall south to the Ol' Opry
That's where the best pickers wanna be
Local bars to weekend jam sessions
Millions of pickers who never took lessons
Playin' melodies with chords one, four & five
Keepin' their dreams of stardom alive
Even though most will never get there
Guitar music they still wanna share
Old guitars become their lifelong friends
Here's hopin' their music never ends
OLD GUITARS ON THE WALL TELL A STORY
THEY'RE STILL IN THEIR DAYS OF GLORY
MILLIONS BEGAN PLAYIN' 'EM IN '64
AFTER THE BEATLES CAME TO AMERICA'S SHORE
SO MANY OLD GUITARS ARE STILL AROUND
SCARRED FROM HARD NIGHTS ON THE TOWN
AND YOU KNOW THE WORLD STILL SINGS
TO MUSIC FROM OLD GUITAR STRINGS
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Joined: February 2016 Posts: 1802
Location: When?? | Good one, Dave. I like the gist. Too many people never bother to acknowledge and thank the equipment they use to pursue life's endeavors. I guess most people feel it's silly to show personal praise and gratitude to inanimate objects. Not me. It bolsters the emotional confidence, and I've been kissing things like competition figure skates, downhill racing skis, precious guitars, trusty vehicles, work tools, etc, etc, for as long as I can remember. Importantly heartfelt associations along the way, I'd say, since I’ve only been just half of the equation of what has been enjoyed and accomplished with those types of items. The other half is completely dependent upon them and our partnership; hence, the reason I chose the OFC screen name I did. Your song reminds me of that.
And thus ends today’s spiritual pontificate of testimony.
Amen.
Time for a beer :-)
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Joined: November 2011 Posts: 741
Location: Fort Worth, TX | Love O Fair - 2018-05-10 12:41 AM
Time for a beer :-)
There's a song title. Gonna work on it. |
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Joined: February 2016 Posts: 1802
Location: When?? | @DaveKell - >>>There's a song title. Gonna work on it.<<<
Heck yes. Quench me, man! And when the royalty checks from Coors and Bud start rolling in, don't forget where you heard it first! |
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Joined: February 2016 Posts: 1802
Location: When?? | Call it mean.. call it cold-hearted.. whatever.. but here's what I have for today. It only took about the last 15 minutes to write, and I guess it could have been better, but all I had for the prior 12 hours was a pencil and paper and I didn't feel like going that far.
"Power On"
She sped with a careless bliss
that none before had known.
When ejected from the car last night
she exposed her blood and bone.
The rest of us, asleep in snore
missed morn-ing buzzer calls
‘cause the tower she hit came crashing down
and cut the juice inside our walls.
Not just a wooden pole, oh no,
these babes are steel and girth.
At eighty feet their humming lines
hang high above the Earth.
But not so far a drunk dumbass
in a Caddie Escalade,
can’t bring them down with a high speed punch,
man, what a mess she made.
::chorus::
You’re dead now lady, and thanks a lot
for a fire that burned the park.
Not to mention tens of thousands,
with twelve hours in the dark.
I hope you enjoyed that final drink
ya shoulda passed out on the lawn.
But we don’t care about your fate
as long as the power’s back on.
The cops blocked sixteen driveways,
“Just stay inside your home”
Fire trucks had to spray some kind
of non-conductive foam.
Two heli-copters were required
to lift the mangled mess
It was well past noon before the town
could let their lives pro-gress.
:: repeat chorus::
You’re dead now lady, and thanks a lot
for a fire that burned the park.
Not the mention tens of thousands,
with twelve hours in the dark.
I hope you enjoyed that final drink
ya shoulda passed out on the lawn.
But we don’t care about your fate
as long as the power’s back on.
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Joined: November 2011 Posts: 741
Location: Fort Worth, TX | https://soundcloud.com/user-566557345/gettin-off-this-train This is the raw recording of the last lyrics I pposted. It just went over great at a songwriter circle tonight. |
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Joined: July 2003 Posts: 3111
Location: Nashville TN. | Here is my latest song The Cheathem County Blues .... https://youtu.be/AEhZjFofNco?t=55m53s |
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Joined: November 2011 Posts: 741
Location: Fort Worth, TX |
I love this type of story song. I played a new one last night at a songwriter circle with a big audience last night that went ove great and got a lot of laughs. There was a guy there with a piece of electronics that made my voice and guitar sound absolutely phenomenal. It was called a TCHELICON. Made it possible to sing harmony with myself and add reverb and other tweaking that made it sound like I could actually sing, not as good as Darkbar but none of us can have it all. A friend of my songwriting buddy in Nashville told me not to worry about my voice, the singer will do their own thing with it anyway. I recently got John Prine's wife to accept a friend request because of being mutual friends with my buddy in Nashville. Now if she'd turn John onto my songs and he'd call me......... doesn't hurt to dream, right? |
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Joined: November 2011 Posts: 741
Location: Fort Worth, TX | This one popped into my head on the road trip with the ill fated accident. Not admitting if it's a true story or not.
The second verse in this references an 83 year old incredible Telecaster player at my regular Friday jam session. He plays all the lead solos on songs.
Every single time I grab my guitar... my woman
grabs her keys and runs to her car
She says "don't expect me to stick around... and
be subjected to that awful sound"
I GOT THE BAD PICKER BLUES... YEAH
THE BAD PICKER BLUES
WHEN IT CAME TO LESSONS... I
SNOOZED AND LOSED... I GOT
THE BAD PICKER BLUES
Every Friday night I come to this place
Leon shoves his pickin' in my face
Playin' lead on songs he never heard before
& everybody always wants to hear more (CHORUS)
I'll never get better pickin' at this rate... bein'
a bad picker seems to be my fate
When it comes to Leon if I could play like that... you know
I would gladly eat my hat! (CHORUS)
You know I'd pick better if I only could... but my
guitar's better at bein' kindling wood
If you're still listenin' to me it's your own damn fault
This place has a door thru which you can walk (CHORUS)
Edited by DaveKell 2018-06-24 7:04 PM
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Joined: February 2016 Posts: 1802
Location: When?? | @DaveKell - >>>Not admitting if it's a true story or not.<<<
I guess that depends on whose life you're living. I've had the bad picker blues my whole damn life! Known a few Leons, too. I guess guys like me are why they invented the devil and the crossroads, but I've never been there (yet). Liked your song though. |
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Joined: July 2003 Posts: 3111
Location: Nashville TN. | I get royality from ASCAP a few grand. |
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Joined: July 2003 Posts: 3111
Location: Nashville TN. | Darkbar - 2018-04-07 9:09 AM
PEZ - 2018-04-06 6:23 PM
Good Stuff
See, DaveKell. Now PEZ is a perfect example. Has been living and working at songwriting in Nashville for several years now. Ask him how much money he has made selling his songs so far.
What do ya say, PEZ.....has it been lucrative yet? We all know how hard you've worked at it.
You never actually sell a song. You publish it and get the writers and publishers share of the royalty and if recorded you get mechanical royality as well. I been lucky to get co-writes with few Hit writers you make small money till you get a big hit. It takes time. I have gotten to write with a woman who has a diamond record. In general in Nashville no takes you seriously till been more than 2 years. |
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