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Joined: May 2007 Posts: 166
Location: Veedersburg, Indiana | I hope no one here takes exception, but I enjoy this forum and the easy friendly feeling that shows thru each posting. My world just came crashing down and I'm really having a tough time right now. I found out Friday that my wife had advanced cancer of the breast and quite possibly cancer was present in her lungs, bones and liver. That was confirmed yesterday morning and shortly after 6 pm yesterday I lost her. My whole reason for making music at this point has ceased to be. We are both Christians, so I'm dealing with a lot much easier than I would have and I'm sure at some future date I'll play and praise the Lord again.
I know none of you know me and didn't know her, but what I'm asking for here is just some prayer and support. Thanks for letting me share. |
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Joined: September 2003 Posts: 9301
Location: south east Michigan | If I were to suffer a loss like that I don't know how I could manage it.
But it happens, and somehow we go on.
My condolences. |
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Joined: November 2008 Posts: 1119
Location: Michigan | Alan,
I don't know what to say except I am very, very sorry for the loss of your wife. I cannot imagine the pain and grief. I am speachless. You will be in my prayers brother. May God's peace find you and comfort you.
Rich |
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Joined: January 2009 Posts: 379
Location: Alagoas, Brazil | I´m deeply sorry. You are on my prayers. I´m sure she wants you to go on playing. |
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Joined: January 2009 Posts: 4535
Location: Flahdaw | Alan,
Pray to her AND play to her.....she wants to hear both from you. |
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Joined: December 2006 Posts: 6268
Location: Florida Central Gulf Coast | Alan,
My saddened heart and soul reach out in support for you! May you continue to gather strength from our God and those here that share in your pain.
Prayers and thoughts of loving comfort to you and yours! |
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Joined: October 2007 Posts: 2711
Location: Vernon CT | Alan,
My deepest sympathies and condolences go out to you and your family.
You say "My whole reason for making music at this point has ceased to be". Let your music continue and honor her life & memory. As a survivor of cancer and one who just lost his father to it 3 weeks ago, I am there for you if only in spirit and thoughts.
Bob
Bob |
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Joined: May 2008 Posts: 4996
Location: Phoenix AZ | My deepest sympathies.
You certainly might not feel motivated right now but in time it will come back and in the long run it will probably be music that makes each day a little bit easier. |
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Joined: November 2007 Posts: 1486
Location: Cincinnati | My condolences to you and your family, Alan. In time you will be playing music with more emotion than you did before. |
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Joined: January 2006 Posts: 387
Location: Whitecourt, Ab | Alan,
Thanks for sharing in what must be a terribly difficult time for you. "he won't lead you to it if he can't lead you through it"
My thoughts and prayers go out for you and your family,
Ed |
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Joined: November 2006 Posts: 3969
| Alan,
I cannot imagine the terrible loss you have suffered. Be assured that your brothers and sisters here share your pain and sorrow. Our deepest condolences, and as others have said, when the time is right play for your wife again. She will smile for it.
Serge |
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Joined: January 2009 Posts: 29
Location: Citizen of the Galaxy | Stuff happens. It's how we deal with it that defines us.
Somebody\'s Prayin\' -- Ricky Skaggs |
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Joined: October 2005 Posts: 5327
Location: Cicero, NY | Alan, my sincere condolences on your loss and I am glad you posted. If we can help make one day a bit easier for you with words of support, we're all the better for it. |
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Joined: October 2005 Posts: 4028
Location: Utah | Our deepest sympathies to you for your loss. |
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Joined: September 2008 Posts: 42
Location: Crossville, TN | So sorry to hear of your loss, You and yours are in my thoughts and prayers. |
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Joined: November 2005 Posts: 4820
Location: Campbell River, British Columbia | So very sorry for your loss.
Even if you can't play right now, hold the guitar.
(when there are no friends and family to hold.) |
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Joined: June 2008 Posts: 129
Location: UK | Keep playing Alan, it's a part of you she is likely to have loved a lot.
My deepest sympathy.
Kevin |
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Joined: February 2008 Posts: 247
Location: Delaware | Alan, My deepest sympathies and prayers go out to you and your family.
Dave |
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Joined: June 2006 Posts: 7307
Location: South of most, North of few | Alan, we will be praying for you and your family. God bless. |
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Joined: December 2004 Posts: 4394
Location: East Tennessee | Alan,
My condolences to you and your family. We will pray for strength for you and your family. |
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Joined: August 2003 Posts: 13
| My condolences, Alan. And prayers for you and your family.
I watched a dear uncle suffer with cancer, and it was some time before I felt like playing again, but when I did, I found some solace. Music can heal. |
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Joined: August 2002 Posts: 8307
Location: Tennessee | The shock and loss you are feeling right now weighs heavily on me. My heart and prayers are with you. Feed yourself and your memories and your own relationship with God right now ... the guitar will be true and wait for you to feel it once again. And when you do I know you hve a new passion for what you can express, and the essense of your playing will take you to a whole new place. I am terribly saddened by your loss. |
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Joined: April 2006 Posts: 1017
Location: Budd Lake, NJ | Alan, PM sent.
Those of us who have been there know what it's like--and our hearts go out to you.
The music really helped me let the grief out; find a place to release it--on a friend's shoulder, in a woodshop, a long walk, stroking the family pet. There will be a point when the music will come back; when the time is right, it will.
You know that I'll surely be praying for you.
--Karen |
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Joined: May 2008 Posts: 1553
Location: Indiana | Originally posted by alan814:
what I'm asking for here is just some prayer and support. Consider it done. |
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Joined: December 2001 Posts: 7211
Location: The Great Pacific Northwest | My condolences. I don't know what happens after we die. I don't care to speculate. But I believe the best way to honor their life is to continue living the way THEY would want you to.
While I'm sure she'd expect you to be sad and grieve for awhile, she'd also expect you at some point to pick yourself up, dust off, play music, and get back doing ALL the things you used to do, and live a happy life with her memory close. |
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Joined: March 2005 Posts: 12750
Location: Boise, Idaho | Alan,
I've often wondered whether condolences from a total stranger could do any good for someone like you who has to be experiencing grief that I've never had to experience yet. I probably wouldn't have responded because others have said everything I could say, but I read your post as my wife and I sat in our favorite chairs after coming back from church and I felt your shock and grief.
I'll say something that some may think is weird: Thank you for sharing your loss with us. For at least a few minutes, and I hope much longer than that, you made me stop and appreciate my loving, wonderful wife and reflect on how much she means to me. Maybe you can take some comfort in realizing that your request for prayer and support helped support some of us. |
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Joined: March 2005 Posts: 5563
Location: Blue Ridge Mountains | Alan,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss; Since you shared your Chrisitanity with us, I trust that will see you through to the place where you can once again play...for now, be assured you are being lifted up as well as that peace will eventually find you again...
Phillipians 9:14...
Blessings,
Mike |
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Joined: December 2008 Posts: 1453
Location: Texas | alan814,
True, we may not have met you in person, but I think many folks here share a common bond that extends beyond round-backed guitars. The fact that you posted the message you did at this difficult time tells me that you already sense that, whether you are conscious of it or not. You can feel that bond in the outpouring of support by members in the preceding messages.
In my short time as a member here, I already feel that I've made many good friends that I just haven't had the good fortune to meet in person yet.
So, we offer our prayers and whatever support we can to you. Play when you're ready, take comfort in the music, and know that she will always be listening… |
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Joined: October 2006 Posts: 5575
Location: big island | aloha alan,
i offered up prayers for you in the wee hours of this morning just after you posted. i was unable to post a response as i sensed the pain of your grief and words would not form. please know you are well supported here. may our concern and encouragement be very tangible for you.
Numbers 6:24-26,
randy |
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Joined: August 2006 Posts: 3145
Location: Marlton, NJ | Alan - I am so very sorry for your loss. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Mike |
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Joined: April 2005 Posts: 200
Location: Melbourne Fl. | Alan,my thoughts and prayers go with you in your time of loss.I'm sure everyone here will say the same,and hopefully your burden will be lightened by the sharing........ |
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Joined: February 2003 Posts: 2177
Location: the BIG Metropolis of TR | Alan, I'm wiping the tears away as I type this....The sadness I feel for your lost I know cannot come close to the sadness and pain you're going through right now. Just remember you have many friends here and we all pray that you'll get through this,and with time you'll find that your music will be what keeps your wife's memory alive in your heart......
My deepest condolences |
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Joined: December 2004 Posts: 1673
Location: SoCal | Alan, Please accept my deepest condolences on the loss of your wife. My thoughts are with you. |
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Joined: April 2008 Posts: 2985
Location: Sydney, Australia | Alan,
I think the suddenness of this must make it incredibly hard. My Dad died after an 8 year battle with cancer. This gave everyone (him included) time to come to grips with it. You must feel like you've been slapped around by a heavyweight boxer.
Hang in there, it'll hurt like hell for quite a while, but eventually it will start to get better and you'll plan a life somewhat different from what you had in mind before all this. |
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Joined: January 2002 Posts: 14127
Location: 6 String Ranch | your guitar will get you through |
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Joined: January 2006 Posts: 1477
Location: Michigan | Our prayers are with you and call on any of us here for anything to help you thru this tough time.GWB |
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Joined: March 2004 Posts: 629
Location: Houston, Texas | Music is emotion. It can express tremendous joy and tremendous pain. I know you're numb right now with grief, but let the music help to heal.
I can't imagine where I'd be now, if I didn't have the ability to express emotion through music.
When it's time, you'll surely work up some good blisters.
My sympathies. |
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Joined: April 2004 Posts: 13303
Location: Latitude 39.56819, Longitude -105.080066 | Comforting thoughts and prayers sent your way. Time eventually heals all. |
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Joined: October 2007 Posts: 283
Location: Portland, OR | Alan:
Not much to add. Sometimes music helps, sometimes not. While it's true that you had not much time to say goodbye, it's also true that she had not much time to suffer from this awful thing. From what you said, I'm sure you know that the souls of the just are in the hands of God. They may seem to our eyes to be dead, but they bask in God's love.
There is a brotherhood of man, this thread proves it. John |
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Joined: July 2003 Posts: 3111
Location: Nashville TN. | Originally posted by alan814:
I hope no one here takes exception, but I enjoy this forum and the easy friendly feeling that shows thru each posting. My world just came crashing down and I'm really having a tough time right now. I found out Friday that my wife had advanced cancer of the breast and quite possibly cancer was present in her lungs, bones and liver. That was confirmed yesterday morning and shortly after 6 pm yesterday I lost her. My whole reason for making music at this point has ceased to be. We are both Christians, so I'm dealing with a lot much easier than I would have and I'm sure at some future date I'll play and praise the Lord again.
I know none of you know me and didn't know her, but what I'm asking for here is just some prayer and support. Thanks for letting me share. First I am sorry for you lose.
Her suffering is over and she with Jesus.
All that she gave is still there.
I lost parents to caner in the last year.
I feel for ya.
hang in there
pez |
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Joined: December 2003 Posts: 13984
Location: Upper Left USA | Alan,
I am sorry for all that you had to go through in a very short time. You are not alone, by any means and while the pain is real but the comfort is present as well.
Pete Seeger and the Byrds had a glimpse of it when they quoted Ecclesiastes.
To everything there is a season... |
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Joined: March 2008 Posts: 2683
Location: Hot Springs, S.D. | I am so sorry for your loss. You will be in my prayers. |
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Joined: November 2002 Posts: 3604
Location: Pacific Northwest Inland Empire | "I want to be left alone, but not be alone."
Grief. Don't stray off too far, & stay in touch.
Your guitar is the vehicle- choose to drive. |
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Joined: March 2005 Posts: 1421
Location: Orange County, California | You got our (and many others') Prayers Bro. |
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Joined: May 2006 Posts: 4221
Location: Steeler Nation, Hudson Valley Contingent | I truly can't say anything that hasn't already been said. I can only offer my sincere condolences. And of course, you are in my prayers. |
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Joined: January 2006 Posts: 2120
Location: Chicago | In Eastern Orthodox tradition: "Memory Eternal!"
(My dear one and I have not even hit the 25th anniversary but we've known each other for longer. I can't IMAGINE what you've been through.) |
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Joined: April 2008 Posts: 30
Location: Indiana | Over at peaveyt60.com we went through a period of time where it seemed like everybody was losing a friend, family member.......and the wonderful warmth and support of the folks there sustained many of us. It is almost 2 years since I lost my father to multiple myeloma at a time when I was just starting to write a song that was partly about him but more broadly about Veterans of "The Forgotten War" in Korea (of which he was one). When he passed, it took me a couple months before I could even keep writing it and more before I could start playing/recording it. Each step was painful, but as I look back on it this was part of my own way of grieving. There will always be an emotional reaction with that song, but in the wee hours of Veterans Day, 2007 I was able to get it out on my MySpace player. The reaction has been positive from both family and many veterans or sons/daughters of Korean War veterans. (And my Ovation guitar was the sound of the song....)
So what in the world has this to do with your loss......maybe you can and maybe you can't write a song about your loss, but music is a great "equalizer" IMHO in our lives and I just want to say maybe you can find a song that allows you to express yourself in this regard. It could be mournful if that's what you feel or perhaps something that helps you remember better times.
It's already been said that your lost loved one deserves it, so I'll suggest that YOU deserve it. FIND that right song, maybe even *more* than one and just play it and let it carry you through. It will be hard at first but in the end, you'll know when you've gotten it right.
As we might say over at the T60 board "prayers and mojo to ya".......
Duane |
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Joined: January 2005 Posts: 161
Location: Atlanta GA | Alan |
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Joined: January 2005 Posts: 161
Location: Atlanta GA | Alan
I am deeply saddened for your loss. I can't begin to understand your feelings of loss and saddness. Although I will say from first hand experience that "time heals all wounds", so every day you trudge on, is another day closer you will get to the point where "normal" feels normal.
My thoughts and prayers are with you. |
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