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Joined:
October 2006
Posts: 5575
Location: big island | The Origin of Chapstick
The old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the Cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail a few feet in front of the sheriff.
"Howdy, stranger..."
"Howdy, Sheriff..."
The cowboy then moved slowly to the back of his horse, lifted its tail, and placed a big kiss were the sun don't shine. He dropped the horse's tail, stepped up on the walk, and aimed towards the swinging doors of the saloon.
"Hold on, Mister..."
"Sheriff?"
"Did I just see what I think I just saw?"
"Reckon you did, Sheriff...I got me some powerful chapped lips..."
"And that cures them?"
"Nope, but it keeps me from lickin' em!" | |
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Location: Vernon CT | :D :D :D !!! | |
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Location: Florida Central Gulf Coast | | |
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Location: Brisbane Australia | I'll pay that one Randy!! :D
AJ | |
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Location: Capital District, NY, USA Minor Outlying Islands | Actually, that is a classic with many permutations. Always funny though. | |
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Location: 6 String Ranch | Ooooooh! | |
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Location: Steeler Nation, Hudson Valley Contingent | Oh man! I was eating as I read that!  | |
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Location: East Tennessee | An old prospector shuffled into town leading an old tired mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town to clear his parched throat. He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail.
As he stood there brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.
The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed saying, 'Hey old man, have you ever danced?'
The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, 'No, I never did dance, just never wanted to.'
A crowd had gathered quickly and the gunslinger grinned and said, 'Well, you old fool, you're gonna dance now,' and started shooting at the old man's feet.
The old prospector in order to not get a toe blown off or his boots perforated was soon hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet and everybody was laughing, just fit to be tied.
When the last bullet had been fired the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.
The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers back. The loud, audible double clicks carried clearly through the desert air.
The crowd stopped laughing immediately.
The young gunslinger heard the sounds and he turned around, very slowly... The quiet was almost deafening.
The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels. A near trembling fear, now made it hard to even swallow. The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands.
The old man said, 'Son, did you ever kiss a mule's butt?'
The boy swallowed hard and said, 'No. But I've always wanted to.'
There are two lessons for us all here:
1. Don't waste ammunition.
2. Don't mess with old people.
I just love a story with a happy ending. | |
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OT: the origin of chapstick