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Joined:
July 2003
Posts: 3111
Location: Nashville TN. | http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ZHm4LWWklM
feedback wanted |
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Joined:
April 2010
Posts: 1227
Location: Connersville, Indiana | Hey brother, great song. Now I'm just being me, I would like to see it finger picked and slowed down just a pinch, but that's just me. Other than that, the story line and lyrics a good and the guitar sounds great. Keep it on brother. Good Job! :) |
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Joined:
July 2003
Posts: 3111
Location: Nashville TN. | I do not finger pick at all. She really did clean out a bunch of guys at poker. The trucker was registered sex offender with knives a gun and rape kit. She really did get struck by lightning
If your on facebook there Shooter BD party in my photo albums. |
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Joined:
January 2009
Posts: 4535
Location: Flahdaw | Might be kinda cool if you changed it to an ex-con girlfriend playing poker, dropping her cards and coming after you with a .357 while you're singing at her birthday party.
I've got lots of ideas, if you need 'em. |
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Joined:
September 2003
Posts: 9301
Location: south east Michigan | I can't tell you how much I enjoyed that tune. |
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Joined:
July 2003
Posts: 3111
Location: Nashville TN. | Originally posted by dark bar:
Might be kinda cool if you changed it to an ex-con girlfriend playing poker, dropping her cards and coming after you with a .357 while you're singing at her birthday party.
I've got lots of ideas, if you need 'em. OK I bet you got lots of ideas......... LOL |
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Joined:
February 2005
Posts: 11840
Location: closely held secret | Originally posted by dark bar:
coming after you with a .357 while you're singing at her birthday party. Or because. |
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Joined:
August 2002
Posts: 8307
Location: Tennessee | Way to go PEZ. Writing new songs is always hard, posting them up for others is even harder, but somehow you make it look easy. You've definitely got your own sound ... which is important to have as you become more famous. You want everyone to know it's a PEZ tune the same way you know it's The Beatles when you hear them.
Feedback? Only this ... you might want to consider dropping a minor chord in the middle of the verse as a little bridge ... the lyrics should support it and it adds a little tension to the situations that Shooter keeps finding herself in ... then come back strong into the major key for the chorus. And try altering your strumming patterns through the different parts of the song to add to the drama.
Just a thought from someone who DOESN'T have a gazillion youtube hits. ;) |
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Joined:
January 2009
Posts: 4535
Location: Flahdaw | Good idea Bobbo. Pez, on the chorus play C,G,D,Em instead of C,G,D,G. Makes it slightly more interesting. Yeah, and the strumming needs some work. |
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Joined:
April 2010
Posts: 1227
Location: Connersville, Indiana | Hey Pez, I posted your song on my Facebook page. Good Job! :) |
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Joined:
July 2003
Posts: 3111
Location: Nashville TN. | Originally posted by stonebobbo:
Way to go PEZ. Writing new songs is always hard, posting them up for others is even harder, but somehow you make it look easy. You've definitely got your own sound ... which is important to have as you become more famous. You want everyone to know it's a PEZ tune the same way you know it's The Beatles when you hear them.
Feedback? Only this ... you might want to consider dropping a minor chord in the middle of the verse as a little bridge ... the lyrics should support it and it adds a little tension to the situations that Shooter keeps finding herself in ... then come back strong into the major key for the chorus. And try altering your strumming patterns through the different parts of the song to add to the drama.
Just a thought from someone who DOESN'T have a gazillion youtube hits. ;) Thank you for the kind words. I'll see fit a minor see how it sounds... It took 5 months to write it. I don't mind sharing it kinda like showing off a new kid..... Online a critic can not hurl cue ball as commentary. |
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Joined:
July 2003
Posts: 3111
Location: Nashville TN. | Thanks Kitmann!!!!!! |
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Joined:
July 2003
Posts: 3111
Location: Nashville TN. | The song seems to to have taken off........ 2063 Views in just 5 days........
Kinda a little frustrating I had bought youtube promotions for 4 other songs and counter barely moved on them. Put this one up it takes off. Oh well...... The lady who the songs is about loved it! |
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New Song "They Call Her Shooter"