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 Joined: September 2003 Posts: 9301
Location: south east Michigan | If so I want to meet you and shake your hand.
My Mom is in the nursing / dementia unit at a very nice facility. For unusual reasons I had to be there yesterday afternoon. It just so happened that there was a guy, about 6 ft 4 with a white shirt and red bow tie entertaining a captive audience in the community room. He had a little Fender PA, guitar, a kareokee / care-e-okee / kara-okee /.... sing along machine and a hands free microphone set up.
But here's the thing. The guy played like it was the most important thing in the world he every did. He went up to everyone, held their hands, looked straight in their eyes and sang to them. A few who where able to stand stood up with him and moved their feet as best they could. For the singer, in an extended minute or so, they were the only two people in the room.
I stood an watched in tears. These are people whose bodies have betrayed them and their minds have long ago abandoned them. Yet, the music was able to still reach them. They do not recognize their own children but can sing along to "Let Me Call You Sweetheart". To finish out his set he sang "God Bless America". On the far side of the room I see a woman waveing her arms like a conductor and mouthing the words.
I don't think I'll ever be able to remember this event without getting a little misty.
To you guys and gals who do this, screw Vegas... you have something much more important to do. |
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Joined: October 2007 Posts: 2711
Location: Vernon CT | Very nice story. Thanks for sharing this with us.
My Buddy and I have talked about doing this once we get some one who can sing. We know others who have contributed their time and talents and eveyone of them say it is one of the most rewarding things they have ever done!. |
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Joined: March 2005 Posts: 5567
Location: Blue Ridge Mountains | Brad, Yes I do...Once a month I have chapel services at a large Manor Adult home in Marion, VA and always take my guitar: in fact, not sure thy would let me in without it...lol. I do community singing and take requests...the folks love it and I feel like I'm giving something back.
I have done this since I entered Ministry in 1993 wherever I have been. It is an intregal part of my ministry. "There but for grace go we"...I highly recommend it for any and all. |
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Joined: April 2006 Posts: 2491
Location: Copenhagen Denmark | Nice one Music , and was n`t Tim Chapman doing this on a frequent basis ?...and Lanaki mentioned something like it , if memory serves me right...
Vic |
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Joined: March 2005 Posts: 12759
Location: Boise, Idaho | I appreciate those who do and hope to join that group someday. The last nursing home activities director that I contacted about playing (my neice) quit her job. I don't have the nerve to ask a stranger. |
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Joined: April 2006 Posts: 1017
Location: Budd Lake, NJ | I play once a month for a retirement/assisted living facility; I really look forward to each time we go. I think the rewards definitely outweigh whatever it might cost me in time or travel...and we live in such an "inward" society now ("looking out for #1") that I think anything that turns our eyes outward is a good thing. (I'll be good and sit down and be quiet now.)
--Karen |
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 Joined: December 2006 Posts: 6995
Location: Jet City | Never played music for the seniors. I did play Santa for them for a couple Christmas seasons when I was back in Kansas.
I was perfect for the job due to my stunning physique. |
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Joined: October 2006 Posts: 5575
Location: big island | playing music for and with seniors in the nursing homes has brought me a truly deeper satisfaction than the best play-for-money gig i have ever done, period. and ya' know what, BT717, those folks will never notice that you're not a frank sinatra. you just take your guitar and lead out in some sing-a-longs and the time of your life will quickly become apparent. besides, frank never would have been there to sing for them. |
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Joined: March 2005 Posts: 12759
Location: Boise, Idaho | For those that do, how about a little advice? I figure the seniors wouldn't appreciate any 80's hair band music, which is fine with me. But what would they like to hear? I could do Croce, John Denver, Eagles and a few others (you can see I'm stuck in the 70s). If seniors don't recognize that stuff, but want their older standbys, like hymns and stuff, I'm sunk.
If your answer is they'd appreciate anything, I'm not sure that's right. One of the reasons my neice quit her job was that she couldn't get her seniors to come out of their room for anything. I am much closer to the seniors in age than I am to her, so maybe she couldn't relate. |
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Joined: September 2004 Posts: 1180
Location: Vermont USA | I play at two homes each month and it's awesome. The best part is you don't be a great singer, just willing. And they love you like your some kinda rock star.
Pauly |
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Joined: October 2006 Posts: 5575
Location: big island | mark ~ i find that though they enjoy being entertained, the seniors get much more satisfaction with sing-a-longs. get a few songbooks with the old favorites. songs like "bicycle built for two" and "she'll be comin' round the mountain", etc. work very well. we sing alot of old hymns too. "amazing grace", "in the garden" and "the old rugged cross" are perennial favorites. the best thing is just to show up and share whatever you care to. you will be blessed beyond all expectation. |
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Joined: December 2006 Posts: 6268
Location: Florida Central Gulf Coast | There is a very special place in the afterlife for those that give Love in this manner. You ladies and gents are awesome!
Even if I could play guitar, I don't know if I could provide such a service. Maybe my 'kung-fu' is weak, but I've spent more than enough time visiting loved ones in those institutions.
I'll probably change my perspective when they issue me that 'open-back' gown... |
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Joined: November 2004 Posts: 367
Location: Eaton, Indiana | I do well over 50 nursing home concerts a year. It is ALWAYS a great joy to me to bring a smile to someone there. I have made many friends that way and the residents love to talk and share stories of their lives. To me, I receive the greater blessing...
scott lamperd |
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Joined: March 2005 Posts: 5567
Location: Blue Ridge Mountains | But what would they like to hear? I could do Croce, John Denver, Eagles and a few others (you can see I'm stuck in the 70s). If seniors don't recognize that stuff, but want their older standbys, like hymns and stuff, I'm sunk.
Mark, what Lanaki said is right on point: the main thing is to go and do it! I go again on the 25th and I am looking forward to it. Since I am a Minister, I do some hymns and some contemporary Christian music when I do a chapel service but what you know to do would be great also...again the main thing is to go! They'll love it...just don't get too loud...keep it at a comfortable volume: many have hearing aids and it would bother them if too loud! ;)
To me, I receive the greater blessing... Exactly! :rolleyes: |
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Joined: March 2008 Posts: 2683
Location: Hot Springs, S.D. | I get up to Castle Manor to play when I can. Funny story though--back when I lived in Ct., I played at a "ladies home" in Norwich with my ex-husband. (We're still good friends and love playing guitar together.) Anyway, I play jazz style and my ex plays classical. I was figuring that they'd love my stuff (Chatanooga Choo-Choo, Misty, Over the Rainbow, etc.) and I thought they's TOLORATE the classical that Steve played. Well, it turned out that a couple of the ladies were real classical fans, started making requests, and basicly just humored me when I played, waiting for it to be Steve's turn again. Now, I'll admit Steve is a fabulous guitarist, and I'm proud of him, but let me tell you, it was a humbling experience for me.
For those of you who don't feel up to PLAYING at a rest home, I would suggest going in to visit some time. There is a gentleman here at Castle Manor who is fine mentally, but his body is shot. His son dropped him off there one day with all the necessary paperwork, and he never came back! He wrote to his Dad and told him he had moved out of state and that he'd come back to visit some time. It's been over three years. He has no other family, and he's a treasure to talk to. He looks forward to visits from anyone. I was a perfect stranger, but now I'm his friend. I can only hope that when my turn comes, some kind strager will befriend me. |
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 Joined: January 2002 Posts: 14127
Location: 6 String Ranch | Slipkid,
I know you are being serious.
I'm not.
My answer is not yet. |
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Joined: June 2007 Posts: 270
Location: Yorkshire, England | When I was gigging, quite a few care home jobs came my way - a lot of my counterparts wouldn't do them, I think they thought it may dent their `Rock Star' image - It never really bothered me though, I don't think I any had any real ego to satisfy. I wasn't armed with much sing-along type material (which some of the Agents said I should play for them) but I did play the uke banjo and did a bit of George Formby stuff. When you think about it though, some of the residents may not have been all that old when Flower Power and the `Summer of Love' was at its height. My 60's and certainly 50's type stuff certainly seemed to go down OK. |
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 Joined: July 2003 Posts: 3111
Location: Nashville TN. | I have at 3 places, learn standards.
The folks there love it.
Most of us will be in those places at somepoint.
What goes around comes around |
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Joined: January 2004 Posts: 627
Location: Cherry Hill, NJ | Brad
What a beutiful post. You are the Man. Make people happy with your music dude. |
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 Joined: September 2003 Posts: 9301
Location: south east Michigan | Tommy... it was not me playing there.
To tell the truth, I don't know if I got it in me. |
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Joined: July 2004 Posts: 812
Location: Hicksville, NY | Through most of my life playing guitar, I have/had my share of gigs for worthy causes. Sadly, I must admit that I haven't been consistent with it. One summer in the late 1980s, I had my share of performances in the nursing home where my mother works as a nurse. But stopped doing it when I left for college.
When I used to be employed in a facility for individuals with developmental disabilities, I did it once a month for the adult consumers. I never considered myself as a great musician, but their appreciation was what drove me to keep doing it. I played and sang every song I knew, and every now and then I would receive a request or two. There were times when I was familiar with the song, and would play it to the best of my ability. As for the many songs that I was not familiar with, I'd just have to be honest and let them know that I didn't know the song. As a result of my resignation - unfortunately - I would not even be allowed to go past the lobby, despite my intent to share the gift of music. |
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Joined: October 2007 Posts: 2711
Location: Vernon CT | Originally posted by lanaki:
playing music for and with seniors in the nursing homes has brought me a truly deeper satisfaction than the best play-for-money gig i have ever done, period. and ya' know what, BT717, those folks will never notice that you're not a frank sinatra. you just take your guitar and lead out in some sing-a-longs and the time of your life will quickly become apparent. besides, frank never would have been there to sing for them. |
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Joined: October 2007 Posts: 2711
Location: Vernon CT | OOPS!!! Forgot to add my comment to the above.
Randy, I'm sure you're right, but, between being told most of my life I can't sing and hearing myself sing, I would feel better having someone else do it and me play.
By the way, Frank who??? ;) |
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 Joined: October 2005 Posts: 4067
Location: Utah | Great idea, playing for those who are in nursing homes! Back in high school and college I played several times in a hospital for handicapped kids. Great fun for all. |
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 Joined: December 2004 Posts: 4394
Location: East Tennessee | I play at one nursing once a month. I love to do it. I usually play a lot of the old hymns and some newer material that is usually a slow to moderate tempo.
To those who are interested but don't want to play hymns, etc. Some John Denver, Jim Croce or some of the old Country songs like Hank Williams will do just fine. A 1/2 hour set is long enough.
As mentioned by others before me just go and make an effort. You won't find a more appreciative audience anywhere. |
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Joined: November 2004 Posts: 4413
| Originally posted by Slipkid:
Tommy... it was not me playing there.
To tell the truth, I don't know if I got it in me. Brad if you ain't got it in your big soft ol' heart, who has? |
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 Joined: September 2003 Posts: 9301
Location: south east Michigan | Thanks Clive. But I don't think they want to hear "Ticket to Ride" and "Can't Explain".
Also, for the time being, it hits a little to close to home. |
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Joined: October 2004 Posts: 256
Location: chicago | Wow Brad these posts brought a tear to my eyes,Dad just past away from alzhiemers a month or so ago,knew every word to the l. welk songs but didnt have clue who i WAS> JjEFF |
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 Joined: October 2005 Posts: 4067
Location: Utah | Jeff, I'm sorry for your loss. My father-in-law passed about three years ago from Alzheimers. His body was strong but his mind was gone. He was a brilliant man in his day and a master carpenter for his hobby, building boats and fine furniture by hand. It was tough to see him as he declined and could no longer figure out how to measure a length of board. We had him with us his last two years, and spent many weekends walking mountain trails even though he had no idea who we were or where he was, but he loved every minute of being in the mountains. Old age is a cruel thing, and being in a nursing home has got to make it harder. |
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Joined: October 2004 Posts: 256
Location: chicago | BLESS the people who take care and do that for a living....it must be a calling of sorts. Jeff |
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Joined: August 2003 Posts: 2246
Location: Yucaipa, California | Hey Brad,
Glad to see this thread! I've been doing this every month for almost 6-years now and it just gets better and better.
One side note (no pun intended): Don't worry too much about the songs being out of date.... remember that in just a few more years, Stairway To Heaven will be enough of an "Oldie" for the Senior Baby Boomers who are in Rest Homes to enjoy!
Play, Sing, Visit, Talk with them... do anything anf they will respond with appreciation! |
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Joined: March 2007 Posts: 843
Location: CA | Great story. I recall another one from my days editing a dog magazine (there, the sordid truth is finally out). This was in early '80s, when they were bringing dogs and other animals into nursing homes — and the amazing reactions these visits sometimes made. There was a guy in his 80s in one such facility who had fallen off a ladder 40 years before and never said a word since. They put a puppy in his lap and he looks up and says, "What's its name?"
Thanks again, SlipKid. I have an elderly parent myself and live near a nice assisted care/senior facility where they have 'dance night' every Wednesday. This place has a 'full' four-piece band of older gentlemen, and my 92-year-old father can't wait to get out on the dance floor with the ladies. |
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 Joined: January 2006 Posts: 2120
Location: Chicago | Here's a thought: if 1965 is sort of "ground zero" for rock n' roll, then many who were then in their mid-twenties are now nearing 70. My point being that any day now the "classic" repertoire will be THE ONLY repertoire for the golden years.
"Don't let me hear you say life's taking you nowhere, angel." |
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