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Joined:
September 2003
Posts: 9301
Location: south east Michigan | Hello and welcome...
Brad: Our guest today is the #1 posting member of the OFC. He gigs as one half of the Two Man Group and is an Ovation advocate who speaks his mind. I'd like you to welcome...Cliff.
***applause***
Hello Cliff.... Thanks for joining us today.
Cliff:
Brad: Your very welcome..Now...BrianT and I were practicing last night and the subject of new songs for us to try came up. We thought that a good place to look for inspiration would be the impressive set list of the Two Man Group. In looking over that list, a question came to mind. Is there a song on that list that you absolutly hate to play yet still do because the crowd expects it?
Cliff:
Brad: I see....Conversely, is there a song on that list that you would play 4 times a night if you could?
Cliff:
Brad: Ha ha ha...wouldn't we all!! ... I understand that you get maybe two gigs out of a set of strings. Do you let new strings settle in for a few days before a gig or will you play with a set of strings changed the same day?
Cliff:
Brad: I see...You have mentioned that there are a couple Ovations on your want list to meet your gigging needs. What would those be?
Cliff:
Brad: Interesting...I think we would all agree on those choices....Now Cliff, is there any other Ovation that you would trade, straight up, for your Slothead Adamas?
Cliff:
Brad: Who could argue with that!?!?... Would you like to plug the time and date of your upcoming gigs?
Cliff:
Brad: That's great...and I sure your fabled modesty keeps you from mentioning your upcoming appearence on Chris Matthew's Hardball debating Bob Taylor. I'm sure that will be a blast! (insert interviewer courtesy laugh) We are almost out of time Cliff...is there anything you would like to add?
Cliff:
Brad: Okay...that was great. Come back anytime you like Cliff. Stick with us...after the commercial break we will introduce to you the comedian they are describing as the new Steven Wright...you guessed it. Al Pepiak will be here!!! Stay tuned!
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This is what happens when you are bored to death and there is not a guitar or uke within reach. |
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Joined:
August 2003
Posts: 2246
Location: Yucaipa, California | I especially liked Cliff's comments on banjos....Brad, your reposte was great! |
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Joined:
March 2002
Posts: 14842
Location: NJ | Hello and welcome...
Brad: Our guest today is the #1 posting member of the OFC. He gigs as one half of the Two Man Group and is an Ovation advocate who speaks his mind. I'd like you to welcome...Cliff.
***applause***
Hello Cliff.... Thanks for joining us today.
Cliff: Thanks for having me here today, Brad! And might I say that you carry off that FrenchMaid’s outfit very well? . . . I especially like the FishNets. Oh! and by the way, . . . that digital manipulation that you performed on me back in the GreenRoom was the best I’ve had since that 16-year-old MattressHog back in the Phillippines.
Brad: Your very welcome..Now...BrianT and I were practicing last night and the subject of new songs for us to try came up. We thought that a good place to look for inspiration would be the impressive set list of the Two Man Group. In looking over that list, a question came to mind. Is there a song on that list that you absolutly hate to play yet still do because the crowd expects it?
Cliff: “Practicing”. Is that what you and Brian are calling it now?? Sure, Brad (wink,wink). Let’s see . . song that I absolutely loathe . . . Oh, Yeah!! . . .“SweetHomeFuckingAlabama”. God! I hate that song!! We used to have an “edict” that we wouldn’t play the song unless a female member of the crowd showed us her tits . . . well, last weekend this “cow” lifted her top and I couldn’t hear the floor monitors for the rest of the gig. It wasn’t pretty.
Brad: I see....Conversely, is there a song on that list that you would play 4 times a night if you could?
Cliff: The tune that I hear in my head when the bartender forks over the ca$h. . . . But y’know Brad, . . what I’D really like to know is how IS it that BrianT’s lips don’t move while your singing.
Brad: Ha ha ha...wouldn't we all!! ... I understand that you get maybe two gigs out of a set of strings. Do you let new strings settle in for a few days before a gig or will you play with a set of strings changed the same day?
Cliff: I normally just change the strings in the car while I’m driving to the gig.
Brad: I see...You have mentioned that there are a couple Ovations on your want list to meet your gigging needs. What would those be?
Cliff: A shallow-bowl CustomEliteLX and a nylon string. A CuntryArtist would be nice, but a guitar like that nifty custom job that Moody got would be sweet! And a Mando. And a Fretless Bass. And an O’PalmTreeReso . . . don’t get me started. . . .
Brad: Interesting...I think we would all agree on those choices....Now Cliff, is there any other Ovation that you would trade, straight up, for your Slothead Adamas?
Cliff: A Custom Triple-Neck. But not like that faggot Sambora’s. I want a combination Mandocello/Bozouki/Oud. And I don’t want any of that “BowlPaint” shit on the back of it. I want Tony Murga to stretch Templeman’s scrotum over the bowl . . . God knows his balls are big enough to cover it . . .
Brad: Who could argue with that!?!?... Would you like to plug the time and date of your upcoming gigs?
Cliff: We’re playing TONIGHT somewhere . . . I dunno where . . . some dive probably . . . it’s all shit, and my partner’s a fuckin’ embarrassment.
Brad: That's great...and I sure your fabled modesty keeps you from mentioning your upcoming appearence on Chris Matthew's Hardball debating Bob Taylor. I'm sure that will be a blast! (insert interviewer courtesy laugh) We are almost out of time Cliff...is there anything you would like to add?
Cliff: Fuck Bob Taylor. He sleeps with a NightLight.
Brad: Okay...that was great. Come back anytime you like Cliff. Stick with us...after the commercial break we will introduce to you the comedian they are describing as the new Steven Wright...you guessed it. Al Pepiak will be here!!! Stay tuned!
Cliff: We off the air now?? . . . . hey! Any chance of getting another “handy” behind the curtain before Al comes on?? . . . . |
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Joined:
September 2004
Posts: 1180
Location: Vermont USA | Thank You very much you have convinced me that I am no longer crazy.
Pauly |
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Joined:
December 2003
Posts: 13996
Location: Upper Left USA | Cliff,
Classic!
Brad,
Get up and grab a guitar!!! |
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Joined:
March 2005
Posts: 12759
Location: Boise, Idaho | Brad, you asked for it. |
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Joined:
September 2003
Posts: 9301
Location: south east Michigan | Well...I asked for it! :D
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edit: Ha!!! Mark beat me to it. |
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Joined:
November 2004
Posts: 4413
| Great!
Anyone got a transcript of the FBI interview with cliff? |
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Joined:
March 2002
Posts: 15678
Location: SoCal | Clifford, you gotta get back on your meds! |
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Joined:
December 2003
Posts: 13996
Location: Upper Left USA | I'll be avoiding anything leather fo awhile :eek: |
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May 2004
Posts: 2850
Location: Midland, MI | Jeebuz, that was funny. |
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Joined:
June 2003
Posts: 1792
Location: Rego Park, NY, | This interview has to be done live at OFC Tour 2006 Jam.
Brad-You have more than enough time to get a hawaiian shirt.
Cliff- Don't forget the llamas. |
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Joined:
December 2001
Posts: 10583
Location: NJ | Brad: Okay...that was great. Come back anytime you like Cliff. Stick with us...after the commercial break we will introduce to you the comedian they are describing as the new Steven Wright...you guessed it. Al Pepiak will be here!!! Stay tuned!
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[ [/QB] eh....
they tuned this guitar at the factory...
I put a shallow bowl on one side and a deep bowl on the other. I was in the middle singing mid bowl.
if a llama spits at cliff and he wipes it with his hand and shakes your hand does that mean you need to pick out furniture?
If the ofc makes me crazy will any one show up at my funeral? or just the yard sale when sue sells off my gear.
can we find the painting of witco in his attic and replace the face with cliff's favorite llama?
change strings? I didn't know you had to change chords. |
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Joined:
June 2002
Posts: 6202
Location: Phoenix AZ | Must be "casual Friday" at the office ... |
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Joined:
September 2003
Posts: 9301
Location: south east Michigan | I knew Al could do a good Steven Wright!
Perhaps I should think about giving up guitar and become a straight man. |
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Joined:
March 2005
Posts: 12759
Location: Boise, Idaho | Anyone who wears a French maid's outfit could never be a straight man. |
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Joined:
April 2004
Posts: 234
Location: Phoenix, AZ | Geez, you don't check this for 18 hours and the next you know, OFC stands for O Freakin' Cuckoos Nest! |
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Joined:
June 2003
Posts: 1792
Location: Rego Park, NY, | "Slim Slipkid The Straight Man" :p ;) :eek: |
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OFC Interview with Cliff