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Location: SE Michigan | OK, since we're doing great lyrics, let's take a pass at the most terrible lyrics. I'll start:
"There's a killer on the road, his brain is squirming like a toad" (The Doors)
"Alligator lizards in the air" (America)
"I'm hot blooded,check it and see,
I've got a fever of a hundred and three"
(Foreigner) |
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Location: south east Michigan | Anytime someone rhymes "fine" with "wine". |
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Location: Campbell River, British Columbia | Worse, anytime someone rhymes
**ime with
**ine
dime/mine, climb/pine |
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Location: SE Michigan | They headed down to, ooh, old El Paso
That's where they ran into a great big hassle
Billy Joe shot a man while robbing his castle
Bobbie Sue took the money and run
Go on take the money and run
Go on take the money and run
Go on take the money and run
Go on take the money and run
Billy Mack is a detective down in Texas
You know he knows just exactly what the facts is
He ain't gonna let those two escape justice
He makes his livin' off of the people's taxes
Thank you Steve Miller! |
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Location: Campbell River, British Columbia | MAKE IT STOP! PLEASE! I"LL DO ANYTHING!
More Than Words by Extreme
Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
______________________________
what's worse, I could put the melody and harmony work in the guilty pleasure thread... :( |
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Location: Avondale, AZ | "If he loves you more than me,"
Brookland Bridge.
It should be "I". What they are saying is that one guy loves the guy singing not the girl he is singing to. It always bothers me to here this. In pop music they use "I" or "me" according to what rymnes. |
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Location: Campbell River, British Columbia | Originally posted by BrianT:
Thank you Steve Miller! It sounds much better with your shades jammed up on your head like a hairband with a 'j' sticking out the corner of your mouth.....come to think of it. Many things sound better then! :eek: |
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Location: North Carolina | Songs with obvious grammatical errors:
(Johnny)..No, no he'll never do
(Bobby)..No, it isn't him too
"Walking in the Rain" (The Ronettes) |
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| 'scuse me while I kiss this guy..... |
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| ..in this world in which we live in...
the genius that is Paul McCartney. |
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Location: closely held secret | Da do do do, da dah dah dah, is all I want to say to you... |
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| In a gada da vida... (though I always loved the riff). |
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Location: Boise, Idaho | I think the only America song that had lyrics that made sense were I Need You. It's easier to list the good lyrics for America than it is the bad. |
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Posts: 338
Location: SE Michigan | "I'm a cold Italian pizza
I could use a lemon squeezer"
Rolling Stones - Monkey Man
"Every day I get a litte madder
a little sadder, somebody get me a ladder"
Emerson, Lake, and Palmer - Still you turn me on. |
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Location: Phoenix AZ | Originally posted by Mark in Boise:
It's easier to list the good lyrics for America than it is the bad. "Muskrat Love" still freaks me out ... What the hell kind of chemicals were these guys on ??? |
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Location: Snellville, GA | Now the king told the boogie men
You have to let that raga drop
The oil down the desert way
Has been shakin' to the top
The shiek he drove his Cadillac
He went a' cruisnin' down the ville
The muezzin was a' standing
On the radiator grille
CHORUS
The shareef don't like it
Rockin' the Casbah
Rock the Casbah
The shareef don't like it
Rockin' the Casbah
Rock the Casbah |
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Location: SE Michigan | Here come old flattop he come grooving up slowly
He got joo-joo eyeball he one holy roller
He got hair down to his knee
Got to be a joker he just do what the please
He wear no shoeshine he got toe-jam football
He got monkey finger he shoot coca-cola
He say "I know you, you know me"
One thing I can tell you is you got to be free
Come together right now over me
He bag production he got walrus gumboot
He got Ono sideboard he one spinal cracker
He got feet down below his knee
Hold you in his armchair you can feel his disease
Come together right now over me
He roller-coaster he got early warning
He got muddy water he one mojo filter
He say "One and one and one is three"
Got to be good-looking 'cause he's so hard to see
Come together right now over me
Now these are some inspired lyrics....Waiter, I'll have some of what he is having. |
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Posts: 1071
Location: Carle Place, NY | This has got to be at the top of the list:
MacArthur's Park is melting in the dark, all the sweet green icing flowing down.
Someone left the cake out in the rain. I don't think that I can take it, 'cause it took so long to bake it, and I'll never have that recipe again. Oh Nooooo :eek: :eek: Oh Nooooo. |
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Location: Chicago | Nobody gonna take my head
I got speed inside my brain
Nobody gonna steal my head
Now that I’m on the road again
Deep Purple "Highway Star"
yeah, like, wow! |
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Posts: 12759
Location: Boise, Idaho | I had a friend who liked America and I told him the lyrics never made any sense. Horse With No Name was about a heroin trip, he said. "What about Ventura Highway?" "Another acid trip." "Sister Golden Hair?" "Another Acid Trip."
Drugs can explain most anything. |
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Location: Tennessee | That's why I smoke two joints when I get up,
In the car I smoke two joints ...
Oh, never mind. I forgot the rest. |
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Location: ms | Anybody remember the guys name that wrote Muskrat Love.IT somehow made since when he sang it.Every song on that LP was good.Americas version was smooth,his was like a singer,songwriter should be. |
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Location: Canton (Detroit), MI | They didn't write "Muskrat Love".....believe it was David Willis Ramsey???? And I haven't a clue what mind-altering substance he might have been on....
Now....what possessed the Captain and Tennile to cover it?????
As to America.....if you like acoustic 12-string, their first album is ear candy. Don't get no better in my book!!!! Lyrics were never their strong point. Sure played purty, though.
Roger |
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Location: Canton (Detroit), MI | My choice for bad lyrics...
"All I wanna do is go bang, go bang, go bang...."
("Go Bang", The Joykiller)
Thankfully the music saves that song.
Roger |
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Location: NJ | I love this tune but the lyrics drive me up a wall.
Wishbone Ash
- Blowin' Free Lyrics
(Powell, Turner, Turner, Upton) B. Feldman Co., Ltd./ Glenwood Music
I thought I had a girl And all because I seen her. I
thought I had a girl And all because I seen her. Her hair was
golden brown (yes it was) Blowin' free like a cornfield. She was
far away I found it hard to reach her. She told me you can try
But it's impossible to find her. In my dreams everything was all
right - In your schemes you can only try. |
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Location: 6 String Ranch | Steve Miller has some pretty weak words, but as they say, when you're jammin' it in third hammer down, it all sounds better. |
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Location: ms | Old Applause Owner,close but i think it was Willis Alan Ramsey.A great TX songwriter. |
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Location: GA USA | Sometimes when we touch... |
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Location: ms | When i think of you i touch myself :D |
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Location: San Angelo, Texas | better living through modern chemistry? YOU be the judge. |
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Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | "Someone's knockin at the door, Somebody's ringing the bell...
Do me a favor open the door and let em in"
What the fuck was he thinking? |
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Location: Tennessee | "You'd think that people would have had enough of silly love songs"
Yup. |
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Location: Scottsdale, AZ | "She makes me come alive....and makes me wanna drive...."
Don't Worry Baby |
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Posts: 2850
Location: Midland, MI | Two words. John Mayer.
Friends. CHECK
Money. CHECK
Well-slept. CHECK
Opposite sex. CHECK
Guitar. CHECK
Microphone. CHECK
Messages waiting for me
When I get home. CHECK
How come everything I think I need
Always comes with batteries?
What do you think it means?
From "Something's Missing" and I would have to agree. But, hey, he's a blues monster, playing on the big stage with the legends. Lots o' talent and all that. |
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Location: Las Vegas, Nevada | Willis Alan Ramsey wrote "Muskrat Love", by the way. his site: http://www.willisalanramsey.com/ His first album, is a classic in spite of Muskrat Love, which, if you hear him sing it, is another thing (no argument, by the way on the intelligence of the lyrics). Willis inspired careers of Shawn Colvin and Lyle Lovett, too.
My vote for all time stupid and annoying songs is by Heart from All I Want to Do is Make Love to You:
"And in the morning when he woke all
I left him was a note
I told him
I am the flower you are the seed
We walked in the garden
We planted a tree
Don’t try to find me,
Please don’t you dare
Just live in my memory,
You’ll always be there
All I wanna do is make love to you
One night of love was all we knew
All I wanna do is make love to you
I’ve got lovin’ arms to hold on to
Oh, oooh, we made love", etc. ad nauseum.....
That flower and tree stuff is downright wrong. If you look at most of the lyrics to any of their songs, you can easily ask, "What were they thinking"? I remember hearing that tune when the record came out and I am still offended as I was then by the simple stupidity. Most rock lyrics are dumb, that's why we play the instruments so loud, to hide the embarrasment and lack of content. |
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Location: SE Michigan | OK, someone explain this one to me:
I see a little silhouetto of a man,
Scaramouche,scaramouche will you do the Fandango
Thunderbolt and lightning-very very frightening me
Galileo,Galileo,
Galileo Galileo
Galileo figaro-Magnifico
But I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves me
He's just a poor boy from a poor family
Spare him his life from this monstrosity
Easy come easy go-,will you let me go
Bismillah! No-,we will not let you go-let him go
Bismillah! We will not let you go-let him go
Bismillah! We will not let you go-let me go
Will not let you go-let me go
Will not let you go let me go
No,no,no,no,no,no,no
Mama mia,mama mia,mama mia let me go
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me,for me,for me |
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Location: Phoenix AZ | It's what happens when you mix acid and leotards. Trust me on this one. Dave |
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Location: Orlando, FL | In and around the lake,
Mountains come out of the sky and they stand there...
Great song, goofy words. |
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Location: Avondale, AZ | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Someone's knockin at the door, Somebody's ringing the bell...
Do me a favor open the door and let em in"
What the fuck was he thinking?
Well Jeff, he was busy writing the song. Someone was knocking at the door and ringing the bell. He was busy so he wanted someone to do him a favor and let em in. |
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Location: Canton (Detroit), MI | Yep, Willis Alan Ramsey.....hey, it's what I get when I go from memory and don't get the CD out to check the songwriter.....
My wife hates the Heart song "All I Want To Do Is Make Love To You", too....shame, because Heart is our favorite group. I'll shoot from the hip again....I believe that a co-writer of that song is Shania Twain's hubby.....I don't remember his name at the moment, so I won't guess. He produced AC/DC, among others, before he hooked up with her.
Roger |
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Location: Tennessee | John Robert "Mutt" Lange.
An incredible resume. Boomtown Rats, Cars, Def Leppard, John Mellencamp, Heart, Graham Parker, Foreigner, Bryan Adams, Huey Lewis and The News, AC/DC, among others. |
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Location: NJ | He was(is) bangin' Shania Twain too, yes?? |
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Location: North Carolina | Originally posted by Captain_Lovehandles:
Sometimes when we touch... . . . . the honesty's too much
No dumber than a zillion other pop tunes. The problem with this one was the vocal. Who the HELL decided this guy could sing? Who was he, Dan Hill or something? He's in the Terry Jacks league.
How about we start a whole "bad vocal" thread? Nah, it'd last for years. |
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Location: Canton (Detroit), MI | Thanks, stonebobbo....Mutt Lange is Shania Twain's husband (and co-writer and co-producer, if you believe that), and they have a child, so, yes, I would imagine that they have "known" each other in the Bibical sense..... :)
Amazingly, no one has brought up "Yummy, yummy, yummy, I've got love in my tummy".....maybe it's too obvious....
Roger |
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Location: 6 String Ranch | I thought we were only talking about the second place songs? |
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Location: the BIG Metropolis of TR | But don't tell my heart,
My achy breaky heart
I just don't think it'd understand
And if you tell my heart,
My achy breaky heart
He might blow up and kill this man
Ooooooooooooooooooooooo
:D :D :D |
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| Sitting crosslegged on the floor
25 or 6 to 4... |
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Location: NJ | ". . We skipped the light Fandango . ."
(Odd lyrics, but still a GREAT song . . .) |
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Posts: 349
Location: Snellville, GA | "One ton tomato
I ate a one ton tomato
One ton tomaaaato
I ate a one ton tomaato..." |
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Location: Avondale, AZ | Cliff was confussed by: ". . We skipped the light Fandango . ."
(Odd lyrics, but still a GREAT song . . .) That's a term that means dancing. |
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Location: Avondale, AZ | TWA thought the song was saying:
"One ton tomato
I ate a one ton tomato
One ton tomaaaato
I ate a one ton tomaato..."
the song is in spanish.
It is singing about his dear Jean Carmon. |
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Location: Snellville, GA | I give up!  |
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Location: Churchville, NY USA | "Your love is like bad medicine, bad medicine is what I need"
just one example of a whole plethora of horrific lyrics by Jon Bon Jovi |
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Posts: 11840
Location: closely held secret | Originally posted by OldLiverJones:
TWA thought the song was saying:
"One ton tomato
I ate a one ton tomato
One ton tomaaaato
I ate a one ton tomaato..."
the song is in spanish.
It is singing about his dear Jean Carmon.
I think maybe TWA knew that... |
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Location: Atlanta, GA. | Not exactly one of Neil's finest hours...
Song she sang to me
Song she brang to me
Words that rang in me
Rhyme that sprang from me |
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Posts: 1126
Location: Omaha, NE | "one must put up barriers to keep oneself intact".
Actually, anything by Rush will do.
And when you think about it, how did Dylan get away with stuff like:
you walk into a room
with your suitcase in your hand
you see somebody naked and say
who is that man
you try so hard
but you just don't understand
Jeff |
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Location: Chicago | The immortal Wishbone!!! I'm glad someone remembers. |
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Posts: 78
Location: Scottsdale, AZ | Oh poop. You guys have ruined my sandwich song....
One ton o' mayo....
I needa one ton o' mayo....
one ton o' mayo..... |
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Posts: 6202
Location: Phoenix AZ | The King Missles: "I've got a detachable penis ..."
You think I make this up? Look it up.
Dave |
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Location: 6 String Ranch | I like the Jewish one that goes
"Have a, Tequilla; Have a Tequllia; Have a Tequilla, Have one more" |
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Posts: 803
Location: Avondale, AZ | I give up!
Sorry, thought you didn't know. That is what I thought the lyrics were at first. 'One ton tomato'. |
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Posts: 175
Location: Eugene, Oregon | I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand
Walking through the streets of Soho in the rain
He was looking for a place called Lee Ho Fook's
Gonna get a big dish of beef chow mein
Aaoooooo!
Werewolves of London!
Aaoooooo!
If you hear him howling around your kitchen door
Better not let him in
Little old lady got mutilated late last night
Werewolves of London again
Asoooooo!
Werewolves of London!
Aaoooooo! (Repeat)
He's the hairy-handed gent who ran amuck in Kent
Lately he's been overheard in Mayfair
Better stay away from him
He'll rip your lungs out, Jim
I'd like to meet his tailor
Aaoooooo!
Werewolves of London!
Aaoooooo!
Well, I saw Lon Chaney walking with the Queen
Doing the Werewolves of London
I saw Lon Chaney, Jr. walking with the Queen
Doing the Werewolves of London
I saw a werewolf drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic's
And his hair was perfect
Aaoooooo!
Werewolves of London!
Aaoooooo! Draw blood... |
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Posts: 3410
Location: GA USA | Got this on a junk email today. Beautifully ugly lyrics...
Corner of his eye.
He's scared, he thought.
He must sense it.
If his sense and unexpectedly, even for myself, took a heavy mug from the counter and right, Poodle on the left,
and all so that Buzzard could walk between them. |
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Posts: 425
Location: SE Michigan | So you get these wierd emails as well Captain_Lovehandles?
I get them once ot twice a week, I have no idea what they are about or what if anything they are trying to sell. Maybe it's a clue though that they got our email address from this forum. Here's the latest one sent to me:
"In view of your bravery beyond the call of duty, and as an exception,
certain portion suffers from execrable translation. Some works have had the
lips, like he was praying. bright as theirs. True, the same young Jonathan Seagull was there that had again I have no clue what this wierdness is about. |
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Posts: 1889
Location: Central Massachusetts | presumably there's also a web link in there somewhere as well?
It's all about trying to get that link in front of you.
These paragraphs of gibberish are there to thwart the Bayesian SPAM filters a lot of people are using these days. They confuse the spam filters by throwing in lots of words and sentance fragments that "don't look like spam."
A Bayesian spam filter, like the one I use, spamassassin, analyzes every email and tries to guess whether it's spam or not based on the content of the message. It further learns if you reclassify mail as spam that it originally thought was fine. These paragraphs confuse the algorithm, which allows at least some of them to get through to my inbox.
All you can do is hope the spam filters get better. It's like the cold war of spam.. there is no end in sight.. each side keeps outdoing the other.. uggh. I've seen mention that spam represents something on the order of 80% of all email delivered. |
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Location: Rego Park, NY, | Originally posted by OldLiverJones:
I give up!
Sorry, thought you didn't know. That is what I thought the lyrics were at first. 'One ton tomato'. |
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Posts: 425
Location: SE Michigan | These paragraphs of gibberish are there to thwart the Bayesian SPAM filters a lot of people are using these days. But if these messages are SPAM, how come they are not trying to sell me something? There is no product or URL link, so what's the point? |
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Location: Central Massachusetts | If there is no URL or reference to Viagara or something, it could be that on this occasion their script broke and forgot to include the payload. (i.e. the perpetrator is really stupid.) Or it could be that the message is purely meant to break the filters and a message with more useful payload is forthcoming (the perpitrator is really smart.) Or maybe the payload arrived in a format that your email client didn't understand so it got left out. I get several of these a day(!) and they usually mention Viagara, boobs, or mortgages.
Or maybe it's just the NSA trying to send you the latest Soviet submarine coordinates. :) |
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Location: Atlanta, GA. | or sumpin' VILE and UGLY is spawned when the e-mail is opened!!! :eek: |
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Location: closely held secret | David's right, they're either stupid or smart.
Most likely, if you're in a corporate network, there may have been an attachment which was stripped by a firewall, spam filter of virus filter because it was an unacceptable file type, or infected.
Sometimes they're randomly generated, like this one from yesterday:
circumcision be sieglinda may inhale a kelley the roger and proposal not fibrous and spectacle it's proline , neuter some disembowel not maladroit may angus on loam not padlock the pit ! drake try forever the chevron or amygdaloid a cyclotron the redhead a heed it saucepan try carton or actor may
and sometimes they're lifted text, like this one (The Hobbit) from today:
Thorin spoke: Let us try the door! he said. I must feel the wind
on my face soon or die. I think I would rather be smashed by Smaug in
the open than suffocate in here!
Whatever they are, whatever they say, just dump em in the trash without touching. There's some very nasty nasties out right now. |
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Posts: 383
Location: Indiana | Originally posted by Designzilla:
In and around the lake,
Mountains come out of the sky and they stand there...
Great song, goofy words. I always thought the words to "Your Move" were strange. Or any Yes song for that matter. I remember years ago being a huge Yes fan. Now I look back and wonder, why?
Bill |
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Location: Houston, Texas | I always thought the words to "Your Move" were strange. Or any Yes song for that matter. I remember years ago being a huge Yes fan. Now I look back and wonder, why?
Bill You probably don't smoke the same stuff you used to when you listened way back then. :cool: :D
I'm kind of the same way. I loved Yes and Genesis (Foxtrot period) and I simply don't get it now. Although, Yes is more musically pleasing now than the early Genesis. |
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Location: Flushing, MI | When i think of you i touch myself I totally disagree. I think this can be a potentially great lyric when sang by a hot babe! |
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Location: Flushing, MI | Song she sang to me
Song she brang to me
Words that rang in me
Rhyme that sprang from me
DING DING DING DING DING.......
We have a winner!
Don't forget Neil's other lyrical masterpiece "I Am I Said". Remember "No one heard at all not even a chair"......
WHAT??? :eek: |
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Posts: 7237
Location: The Great Pacific Northwest | I really like Kid Rock... and I guess if you're gonna come up with goofey lyrics, like anything else... go big or stay home...
"Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy" |
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Posts: 803
Location: Avondale, AZ | Nah Na Nah Na
Nah Na Nah Na
Hey Hey Hey
good bye |
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Terrible Lyrics