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Joined:
January 2007
Posts: 672
Location: New South Wales, Australia | Feel free to add your ideas or thoughts. These words came to me in a 30 second moment of inspiration and then....nothing....the story of my songwriting efforts through the years.
I once was a beggar
I murdered for love
She lived alone at 22
Her parents lived above
And when she came for breakfast she was like a piece of string
So elegant and reckless
And all those other things |
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Joined:
November 2005
Posts: 1126
Location: Omaha, NE | "so I shot her" |
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Joined:
January 2007
Posts: 672
Location: New South Wales, Australia | Short, sweet, and to the point...I like it :D ...but I think I need something in the middle to get to the blood and guts part |
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Joined:
August 2006
Posts: 3145
Location: Marlton, NJ | For one brief, shining moment
She said I was the one
'Til the day that I walked in
And found that she was gone
I stood there in despair
My love had up and left
Nothing but a letter
Addressed to "My Love, Jeff"
This rocked me to the core
Like a hammer to the head
My blood began to boil
Cause my freakin' name is Ed!
Take it away.... |
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Joined:
December 2003
Posts: 13996
Location: Upper Left USA | I once was a beggar
I murdered for love
She lived alone at 22
Her parents lived above
And when she came for breakfast she was like a piece of string
So elegant and reckless
And all those other things
Chorus
I didn't see it coming
like a six o-clock train.
How do I keep from running
but here I remain
In over my head by Sunday
like a shot with no pain.
No turning around, no looking behind.
No serious plan or a way to rewind.
Just don't hit fast-forward and ruin the day
It's all in the shuffle and not in the play.
...so I shot her... |
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Joined:
February 2004
Posts: 2487
| Is this a song or are the "local authorities" going to be knocking on your door soon? I would have said "The Police" but that would have opened these guy's up to way to many easy one liners. |
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Joined:
June 2007
Posts: 3084
Location: Brisbane Australia | All women have strings attached!!!
He should have known better
AJ :D |
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Joined:
May 2003
Posts: 4389
Location: Capital District, NY, USA Minor Outlying Islands | The lyrics could be set to the verse in louie louie. |
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Joined:
May 2003
Posts: 4389
Location: Capital District, NY, USA Minor Outlying Islands | I once was a beggar
I murdered for love
She lived alone
Her parents above
She came for breakfast
Pulling those strings
So elegant and reckless
And all those other things
She asked my why
I had no job
She told me her Daddy
Said I was a clod
I told her that
Gimme no mo' crap
Or yo' gonna make me
Shut yo' trap
Go ahead ya, Big man
Ya got no guts
My Daddy'll come down
and kick you, butt.
Pulled out the gun
Shot her three times
Cops said why
You gonna pay for your crimes
So I'm in jail
a long time, now
But I'm so glad,
I shot that bad bitch down |
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Joined:
December 2006
Posts: 6996
Location: Jet City | Originally posted by AussieJames:
All women have strings attached!!! Yes.... monthly |
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Joined:
November 2005
Posts: 1126
Location: Omaha, NE | Got a real tear jerker there... |
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Joined:
January 2004
Posts: 1225
Location: Lake Hiawatha, New Jersey | Originally posted by Damon67:
Originally posted by AussieJames:
All women have strings attached!!! Yes.... monthly |
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Joined:
March 2005
Posts: 2791
Location: Atlanta, GA. | Are y'all talkin' about the misplaced dental floss? |
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January 2002
Posts: 14127
Location: 6 String Ranch | xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx |
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Joined:
March 2005
Posts: 12759
Location: Boise, Idaho | If only. |
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Joined:
March 2007
Posts: 843
Location: CA | A man had giv'n all other bliss
And all his worldly worth for this
To lose his heart in just one kiss
Upon her perfect lips
... and then he shot her. |
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Joined:
September 2008
Posts: 757
Location: Melbourne Australia | You have probably seen this before Watto but consider it a refresher.....
A Blues Way Of Life
Sometimes people want to join The Blues Excuse. Naturally, we test them to make sure they really understand what the blues are all about. Do you understand the blues yourself? Are you living a proper blues lifestyle? Try our quick test:
How To Write A Blues Song
Blues are about basic stuff like "woke up this morning" or "I got a good woman." But the blues also needs trouble. So if you've got a good woman then you'd better stick something bad in next (eg: "I got a good woman with the meanest dog in town"). Then keep repeating that line until you think of something that rhymes. For example:
I got a good woman with the meanest dog in town.
Yeah, I got a good woman with the meanest dog in town.
He got teeth like an alligator and he weighs 500 pounds
Blues Stereotypes
The blues are not about limitless choice. In fact, the blues are butt-deep in stereotypes. For example:
Transportation: Blues cars are Chevies and Cadillacs. (Not BMWs. Or Volvos. Ever.) Other acceptable blues transportation is a Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Walkin' shoes also play a major part in the blues lifestyle.
Age is also rigidly controlled. Only adults can sing the blues. Blues adulthood means being old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.
Acceptable blues colors are black and blue. Colors that don't belong in the blues are violet, beige and mauve.
Blues attire: No one will believe it's the blues if you wear a suit. Unless you happen to be an old black man.
Blues Locations
You can have the blues in New York City, but not in Port Douglas. Chicago, St. Louis and Kansas City still get good blues mileage. But hard times in Noosa or Margaret River are just a little depression. In the blues, it's always New Orleans that everybody goes "all the way to." But the French Quarter is a blues no-no. The only hard times there are when the ATM is down.
You can't have the blues in an office or a shopping mall (the lighting is wrong). But good places for the blues include the highway, the jailhouse or an empty bed.
Blues Rights
Do you have the right to sing the blues? Yes if:
You're blind
You shot a man in Memphis
You can't be satisfied
But the answer is no if:
You have a trust fund
You were once blind, but now can see
You're deaf
You're dead
Blues Food and Drink
It's been well established that if you ask for water and your baby gives you gasoline, it's the blues. Other blues beverages are:
Cheap wine
Any kind of whiskey
Muddy water
Blues beverages are not::
UDL premixers
Bailey's or Midori
Cafe latte
Although Rubber Biscuits and the Wish Sandwich are famous blues snacks, better stick to common blues grub:
Greasy food
Fatback and beans
Kraft cheddar
Blues food is never a:
Club sandwich
Sushi
Crème brule
Quiche
Blues Life and Death
If it occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it's a blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is a blues way to die. So is the electric chair, substance abuse, or being denied treatment in an emergency room. But it's not a blues death if you die during a liposuction treatment. Short of actual death, "fixin' to die" is well regarded in the blues.
Blues Names
Some good blues names for women:
Sadie
Big Mama
Bessie
Some good blues names for men:
Joe, Big Joe, Little Joe
Willie, Little Willie
Lightnin'
Persons with names like Jason, Kylie, Tabitha, Alexis or Gwenyth will not be permitted to sing the blues no matter now many men they shoot in Memphis.
How To Create A Blues Name
Mix and match from the following.
Nick name: physical infirmity (blind, cripple, asthmatic)
First name: add a fruit (Lemon, lime, melon etc)
Last name: a US president (Jefferson, Johnson, Lincoln, Roosevelt).
Eg: Blind Melon Jefferson
and of course you can find a way of throwing in what appears to be a common line..... and then he shot her
:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: |
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Joined:
January 2007
Posts: 672
Location: New South Wales, Australia | Plenty to think about there Chris. Thanks for that in-depth look at the blues.
It seems, from most responses, that I'm going to have to introduce some sort of firearm into the song.
Shotgun?...handgun?....machine-gun?....bazooka?...speargun maybe?... |
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Joined:
September 2008
Posts: 757
Location: Melbourne Australia | Set yourself a challenge Watto and go for the lot - just like the great aussie song "I've been everywhere" !!! Don't wimp out on us....
Cheers
Deaf Mango Ford |
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Anyone want to add to this