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Location: south east Michigan | With so many years of having guitars mass produced by so many companys, where do they all go? Are most tucked away in closets? Do enough find their way into the trash for there to a market for replacement? And who is the person and at just what point does he (or she) decide that a guitar needs to be put down? Darn, I have an old Ovation t-shirt that I just can't seem to part with.
In a recent thread, rayjbenet told a great story how his guitar got run over by a car. Okay....that accounts for one.
.
I also wonder where in the hell do all the old fiberglass boats end up. But that's for another bulletin board.
Brad |
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Location: NJ | well it is rather amazing that with all the instruments made and imported into the US that we are not seeing them all over the place. I would venture to say that a large percentage do get trashed. I personally have owned many trashed guitars some that would have been greatly valued, but unfortunately they were damaged. More get damaged than you think.
another thing is that student grade instruments are more likely to get trashed or thrown out than professional grade and that is because they are more prone to being damaged.
another reason is most guitarists own more than one instrument. YOu need an electric, electric 12, electric bass, acoustic, acoustic 12, acoustic bass, arched top, one of each color, one of each brand etc. |
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Location: Yucaipa, California | ... where do they go?.... probably the same place my socks go after they disappear from the dryer! :rolleyes: |
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Location: 6 String Ranch | From a manufacturing point of view we used to ask ourselves this question. It was of concern since if it was going to reach saturation soon we'd like to know. We finally decided that saturation was not going to be reached, ever, and that we really didn't want to know the answer, just so long as they kept going somewhere. |
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Location: Florida | Tim... socks getting lost in the drier is no big mystery, although the appliance industry has kept it more or less a secret since day one.
To generate the heat needed to dry clothes, the industry has deveoloped what amounts to warm fission. The atoms of socks are split, and the resiltant energy release provides the heat to dry the rest of your clothes. In fact, when you plug your drier in, the electricity only makes the motor go round, and the timer function. Of course, one sock can dry many many loads of wet laundry, so you only lose one occasionally. You can easily prove this by running the drier with no heat, and notice that you will NEVER lose a sock unless you turn on the heat, effectively starting the nuclear reaction. |
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Location: Yucaipa, California | .... ok... that explains the socks.... now, what about the fluxuating coat hangers?! One day there are thousands, and the next day none!.... hmmmmm was that a Black Helicopter flying past my house? :eek: |
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Location: south east Michigan | CWK2,
It is interesting that that factory spent time on this issue and came to that conclusion. You would think that at some point you would reach critical mass.
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Well, they are going somewhere. But how many times will old Uncle Franks guitar get passed down? A guitar must get banged up pretty bad to get thrown out.
Brad |
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Location: Canton (Detroit), MI | Brad, where do all the old guitars go????............EBAY!!!!!! :D :D :D
Roger |
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Location: Central Massachusetts | I thought UPS destroyed them all. Guess that comes after eBay. ;) |
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Location: Central Oregon | Originally posted by dvd:
I thought UPS destroyed them all. Guess that comes after eBay. ;)
The first logical explanation I've seen! :)
/\/\/ |
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Location: Fayetteville, NC | Nils,
You're right! It's Logical.
However Most of us likely wish thay all just appeared in our homes. :D
David Copperfield..where are you when we need you? :rolleyes: |
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Location: Las Cruces, NM | CharlieB
I would keep a close eye on anyone following you, I worked at a nucleur facility where many hush-hush R&D projects were conducted. Sock Fission was considered somewhere in the same category as Roswell's visit by the explorers from Heidi Prime who used a similar propulsion method, (the odor of unchanged socks from the cowboy types guided them to that part of the US, my wife expects a second party to arrive every time she does our laundry). Guitar fission was tried by NASA on some unmanned missions but the results were unconclusive as it seemed that only a person as skilled as Chet or Glen could play fast enough to start the reaction, I could do it in the lab on "Orange Blossom Special" but the mandolin was to small to power a full sized spaceship. Suffice it to say the Chechens stole our research and as soon as they can fully separate from the old USSR we may get hit with a stringed WMD of some type, in the meantime they secretly buy, steal, and divert in shipping all those guitars that are mysteriously missing. Sorry to disapoint you WK2, but they seldom buy a new guitar. I think I have said too much already, but the Russkys hit the Chechens with a small guitar bomb in that theater fiasco.
A BLACK KAMAN HELICOPTER IS RIGHT OUTSIDE!!!! |
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Location: south east Michigan | WWoooowwwww......Really? :eek:
That post was so good I read it 3 times.
Brad |
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Location: Waurika OK | Where have all the guitars gone,
After the G.A.S.ing
Where have all the guitars gone,
After the fun
Where have all the guitars gone,
Gone to closets every one
When will they ever learn
When will they ever learn
Put away with strings still tight
And most are rusted
Put away with strings so tight
Some are busted
Put away with strings so tight
Neck is badly twisted
When will they ever learn
When will they ever learn
Where have all the guitars gone
UPS man he got some
Where have all the guitars gone
UPS man, he bust em
Where have all the guitars gone
Gone to graveyards every one
When will we ever learn
When will we ever learn
I could go on, but this is probably more than you can stand at one reading.
By the way if you don't know what melody to sing this to, you are waaaay too young.
noel |
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Location: south east Michigan | Nah....I know that song. Gramps taught it to me. ;)
Brad |
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Location: Upper Left USA | When I was jus' a little bitty boy
Uncle Charlie gave me shiny toy
A carbon top and 12 bright strings
He said it was my Ding-a-ling-a-ling...
Up into my room I'd bring
to go play with my Ding-a-ling-a-ling
The pretty girls would love to sing
while I played with my Ding-a-ling-a-ling
Now to church I bring this thing
with a carbon top and 12 bright strings
...So every time the chior would sing
You'd see me playin with my...
My apologies Mr. Berry |
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Location: Las Cruces, NM | Good Stuff
Unfortunately for me, I know the tune to both of those songs and I thought they were too modern for me when I first heard them.
I'm posting while chained inside a black Kaman Helicopter on a computer that appears to belong to someone who uses the handle cwk2, pilot says he runs the world behind the scenes, strange looking power source that reeks of dirty socks, best I can describe it, it looks like a clothes dryer connected to the main transmission. They took my socks and shoes, but strangely, my shoes were returned. shortly afterwards the chopper hit what seemed like warp speed, I'm a little embarrased as I hadn't changed those socks in 2 weeks as my wife was visiting our daughter, and I just can't operate a washer. The chopper has a strange scoop that seems to sense loose guitars as we pass over houses and sucks them out of closets and attics and feeds them to a robotic version of a young Roy Clark that plays them rapidly and they disappear in a flash of energy that sails through the sky towards Florida, a house there has a monstrous antenna that collects the energy and powers a gigantic Ovation amp and a weird guy there plays Ovations and resophonics through the amp. His whole compound is powered by that energy.
Help, I'm being dragged by the Roy Clark robot towards the clothes dryer power source. Whoopy Whoopy Whoopy HOT in here. |
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Location: south east Michigan | Another insiteful Baily post. This time 1:36 A.M. Why so early? Did the bar have an early last call?
Since we digress...
.
Ohhhhh the cat got dead, we put him in a box
And we dug a little hole and we covered him with rocks.
We picked a couple dandelions and said a little prayer.
Then we all went off to bed cause we really didn't care.
(Heywood Banks)
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Brad |
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Location: Waurika OK | Where have all the ding-a-lings gone
To the Ovation Fan Club, every one
noel |
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Location: Upper Left USA | When will they ever learn
When will they e-e-e-e-ver learn?
Stick a fork in me, I'm done. |
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Location: Central Oregon | Originally posted by Slipkid:
Another insiteful Baily post. This time 1:36 A.M. Why so early? Did the bar have an early last call?
Since we digress...
.
Ohhhhh the cat got dead, we put him in a box
And we dug a little hole and we covered him with rocks.
We picked a couple dandelions and said a little prayer.
Then we all went off to bed cause we really didn't care.
(Heywood Banks)
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Brad
The REST of the story...
The Cat Got Dead
The cat got dead so we put ‘em in a box,
Then we dug a little hole & we covered him with rocks,
Then we picked a couple Dandelions, said a little prayer,
And we all went off to bed cuz we mostly didn’t care.
In the middle of the night the dog started sniffin’,
It was the Labrador retriever that belonged to Mrs. Griffin,
And even though the cat was smelly & stiff,
He thought it would make a nice addition, to Mrs. Griffin’s kitchen....
Throughout the house the dead cat’s curiosity,
With kitty’s on the couch with her coat & her callosity,
Well people gave her kitty gifts but all the dog could afford,
Was a cat he dug up with a case of rigor mortis.
When the woman saw the cat there began the pandemonium,
The dog got the cat with a chunk of the Congolium,
The cat snapped back to life right there on the linoleum,
And shook his shaggy head out of its catatonium.
From the floor to the counter & all around the kitchen,
The cat was chased by the dog & the dog by Mrs. Griffin,
Past the living room couch with the kitty motif,
Through the front door screen & into the street.
Well old John Duke drove the delivery route,
And he happened to be passin’ with a van full of fruit,
He missed the woman & the dog but his face went pale,
When in a flash the cat was corned beef hash with a tail!
Yuck!
Ohh, the cat got dead so we put ‘em in a box,
Then we dug a little hole & we covered him with rocks,
Then we picked a couple Dandelions, said a little prayer,
And we all went off to bed cuz we mostly didn’t care!
/\/\/ |
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Location: Pacific Northwest Inland Empire | Yeah, well......works more reliably than Prozac. Wanna "weigh in" on this one, Mr Wong? |
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Location: Waurika OK | Hey Woody,
Maybe we could write songs together like recording artists do when thy record a duet, different studios never singing together.
If the rest of you think that would be bad, think how much worse it could be if we actually got together!
noel |
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Location: Ontario, Canada | Hi...glad to see other people's opinion of UPS. Took me forever to get my guitar delivered to me when I was home. They never came in the "suggested" times.
Great song noel...I remember the song and I'm not sure I appreciate the gramps comment from one of the replies. By the way it was Bob Dylan's birthday today! (I saw him in concert in 75) |
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Location: south east Michigan | Guy C,
I hope you noticed the little winky face after the gramps comment. No harm intended.
Brad |
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Location: Las Cruces, NM | More good stuff from you guys, and I appreciate it as my life is ruined by the fickle fate finger.
I am still here and alive, thanks to one of our members. just after I was thrown into the sock fission clothes dryer power source by the Roy Clark robot and my shorts were fissioned, I heard a loud PTUII!! and was ejected from the sock fission machine. It seems I had 2 Adamas guitar picks in my Wranglers which made me a part of the organization that was taking over the world as that was their secret ID although you needed 10 to Captain a chopper. I was ejected through the guitar scoop back to my house, where the trobles just began.
As I mentioned, my wife was gone for 2 weeks visiting her daughter. The sock fission machine also used panties and bras when socks were scarce. I was ejected with a load of those and my wife walked in just in time to catch me putting on my pants standing on a pile of used panties and bras, no shorts or socks in sight, and an expression on my face that seemed to indicate sexual satisfaction. TRY TO LIVE THAT DOWN!!
Bailey :eek: |
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Location: Waurika OK | It is obvious that all the important scientific work that once was done in Alamogordo, Sandia Lab, White Sands, Roswell, and Area 51, has been consolidated and confined (that may be the operative word here) to Las Cruces.
The work is done by an organization known as:
S.O.C.K.S.
S. lightly
O. vation
C. razed
K. aman
S. ociety
noel |
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Location: Florida | Wahtever y'all be drinkin'... I'll take a double, straight up if you please. |
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Location: Fayetteville, NC | Ditto!! :D |
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Location: Converse, Texas | Interesting thing.. As I've said in previous threads, I learned guitar on a Harmony Monterey and a Rebel. FUnny thing is ... when I went to "real" guitars, I just can't remember what I did with them. I know I didn't throw them away. ANd the Monterey was a finger-buster. Hmmmmmmmmm... :confused: |
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Location: Central Oregon | I have a good friend that used to live here in Oregon. He worked as a tree faller in the woods until his job was squelched by the tree huggers, then he got a contract & moved to New Mexico to cut down radioactive trees for the gummint for a "tree"mendous amount of money.
Last time he came to visit he said it was too hot to work during the day down there so they cut the trees at night, which is fairly easy since the radioactive trees glow in the dark. Of course the locals make a fortune selling dark glasses to them to keep them from getting night blindness from the glowing trees.
He figures he will be making twice as much money by next year when the extra set of arms that are growing out of his back from the radioactivity finish developing & he will be able to run two chain saws at once.
/\/\/ |
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Location: Upper Left USA | So Nils, the friendly fella was a Faller, for real? Sounds like he accepted his windfall with open arms(s)! A fortunate faller fellow for sure! I have been working around Reactors for years and aside from myself and friends having only daughters the risk is small!
As for Tree Huggers - If you can really hug the tree, as in arms all the way around - the tree should be left standing. Let it grow another 20 years so it will make a good guitar top.
As for the original topic! We tend to broadcast our new aquisitions but our losses and leftovers just quietly slip away. Deaths and dumb mistakes probably take their tolls. |
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Location: Central Oregon | Now there's an atomic benefit I never knew about, all girls you say? Swell! I'm in favor of more girls! :) Being happily married is like being on a diet- when you go into a fancy restaurant you know you can't eat, but it don't hurt to look at the menu!
/\/\/ |
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Location: Las Cruces, NM | I'm still here and I saved my ass, I told my wife I had just returned from Connecticut where I had sponsored a rally protesting the mistreatment of small animals by TV advertisers e.g. the Taco Bell Chihuahua, and all the ladies had ripped off their underwear and thrown it on me.
She said why don't you show me the sort of people you spend your time with at night trying to improve the world, and I showed her a few posts on this board.
DOES ANYBODY KNOW A GOOD LAWYER? |
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Location: Central Oregon | "DOES ANYBODY KNOW A GOOD LAWYER?"
"Good" lawyer? Please define "good".
/\/\/ |
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Location: Upper Left USA | Good Lawyer
Jumbo Shrimp
Government Intelligence
Enough Guitars
Long Vacation
Get the picture? |
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Posts: 14842
Location: NJ | I have a favorite recipe for "Good Lawyer".
The key is to slice them thin enough . . . and don't leave 'em on the grille too long. |
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Posts: 2850
Location: Midland, MI | Originally posted by MWoody:
Good Lawyer
Jumbo Shrimp
Government Intelligence
Enough Guitars
Long Vacation
Get the picture?
I'll take a stab:
You're getting a divorce, then moving yourself and your massive collection of Ovation's to Louisianna bayou country to enjoy fresh seafood and avoid the TLA-that-shall-not-be-named-but-is-responsible-for-GAS. You've finally broken out of your programming, only to realize that you don't need that redwood collector's someone just posted, but instead require some R&R?
Was I close? What do I win?
:cool: |
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Location: Upper Left USA | These are Oxymorons. Not to be confused with Oxycontin although both can be mind numbing.
:) :o :o |
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Posts: 2850
Location: Midland, MI | Originally posted by MWoody:
These are Oxymorons. Not to be confused with Oxycontin although both can be mind numbing.
:) :o :o
I knew that....I think.
:eek: |
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Location: Pacific Northwest Inland Empire | Cruster, and an extra baggage compartment, from what I've heard about that stuff. |
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Location: 6 String Ranch | Is there such a thing as a good lawyer?
Yes, when he's your lawyer and not the other side's. (he'll probably still charge too much) |
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Posts: 2850
Location: Midland, MI | Originally posted by seesquare:
Cruster, and an extra baggage compartment, from what I've heard about that stuff.
Not sure I follow. Hrmm.
If you meant the Remeron, the only side effects I've heard about (and this is second hand, so who knows what else there is) are intense sleepyness (the person I know will sleep 16+ hours at a shot), thirst and something else that escapes my memory, but it was weird. Oh, loss of feeling (like, tactile sense). |
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Location: Pacific Northwest Inland Empire | Cruster, like-50#-in-60-days-type side-effects. Plays havoc with your metabolism. Ask Mr. Wong. |
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Posts: 2850
Location: Midland, MI | Originally posted by seesquare:
Cruster, like-50#-in-60-days-type side-effects. Plays havoc with your metabolism. Ask Mr. Wong.
Holy fiznuckle! Hadn't seen that one. Then again, I don't see the friend who's on it very frequently. Feh, that's nasty. Not sure who Mr. Wong is, though...
I prefer to self-medicate with Bombay Sapphire and a hint of lime juice. Or GeniusBeer(tm). :) |
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Location: Las Cruces, NM | Anybody here know the words to "Snow Blind", they seem appropriate? |
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Posts: 10583
Location: NJ | Snow Blind -black sabbath
What you get and what you see
Things that don’t come easily
Feeling happy in my vein
Icicles within my brain
(cocain)
Something blowing in my head
Winter’s ice, it soon will spread
Death would freeze my very soul
Makes me happy, makes me cold
My eyes are blind but I can see
The snowflakes glisten on the tree
The sun no longer sets me free
I feel there’s no place freezing me
Let the winter sun shine on
Let me feel the frost of dawn
Fill my dreams with flakes of snow
Soon I’ll feel the chilling glow
Don’t you think I know what I’m doing
Don’t tell me that it’s doing me wrong
You’re the one who’s really a loser
This is where I feel I belong
Crystal world with winter flowers
Turns my day to frozen hours
Lying snowblind in the sun
Will my ice age ever come? |
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Posts: 327
Location: Houston, TX | Not sure, but I always thought the last line of 3rd stanza was "I feel the snowflakes freezing me". Anyway, didn't expect that reference to pop up - hadn't thought about that song in years. |
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Where do they go?