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| No, she wasn't a famous musician, although she did at one time have a small measure of that.
She passed away early this morning, peacefully, in her sleep. I felt the best way to honor her memory would be to tell her story to those whom I consider my extended family.
As a young woman in a small coastal fishing village in Cuba she was courted by my Dad, who would show up in full military dress, and they would sit (apart) on the veranda of my grandfather’s home, watched over by a "dueña" (chaperon) to prevent any hanky-panky. Often that dueña was her next elder sister (there were 6 girls and 2 boys in the family), who wound up marrying my Dads next elder brother after many double dates.
Before marriage she enjoyed modest renown as a live radio singer. The picture of her below is a publicity shot from that time. She had a beautiful voice, and I've always attributed my musical abilities - limited as they are - to her and her influence.
My parents were the archetypal immigrant family in America. Since my father stood 4th in line to inherit the family farmstead - which was eventually seized by the Communist government anyway - they chose to come here and chase their dreams.
You can imagine the struggles of moving to a vastly different culture, learning a new language, and raising a family. Dad eventually started his own business, achieving the American dream of working for himself, beholden to no one.
Mom, meanwhile, stayed home until I was of school age, caring for other children to bring in a few extra dollars. While we were by no measure wealthy we never wanted for anything. When I went off to college, Mom kept working menial jobs and sent me all her money, so that I could concentrate on my studies and not have to worry about a job.
The phrase “family values” gets tossed around far too much as an epithet, especially by self-serving politicians who are later found to be engaging in deviant and reprehensible behaviors. Mom and Dad lived real family values. Putting the health and happiness of their children, 5 grandkids, and 2 great-grandkids above their own needs and wants, quietly toiling and sacrificing with never a complaint, they taught by example what are the real family values.
Mom and dad were married for 57 years when he passed away 4 years ago. Through all those years, struggles and hardships Mom never lost her sense of humor, her zest for life or her smile, a smile that lit up a room and chased away the clouds. Soon after Dad's passing, Mom’s health started deteriorating, and we reluctantly had to place her in a nursing home for the last year and a half. She’d been barely conscious for the past 3 weeks, like a clock winding down, and though I don't think she recognized me near the end, her last glimmer of consciousness was a hint of a smile at hearing the voice and feeling the touch of her youngest grandson, my 2 year old. True to form.
Mom, thank you for showing me the value of honesty, commitment, perseverance, education and humor. Thank you for giving me perspective on what’s truly important in life. And most of all, thank you for the music.
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Location: Florida Central Gulf Coast | Serge,
What a wonderful and beautiful tribute!
Thank you for sharing your memories. You and yours will be in our thoughts and prayers! |
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Location: NW of Philadelphia | My deepest condolences to you and yours. |
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Location: Portland, OR | Very nice tribute. I'm sure she's pleased. |
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Location: Vernon CT | G8r, My Deepest and most sincere Sympathy and condolences to you and your Family, Beautiful picture of your Mom. Thank-you for sharing this with us. |
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Location: big island | what a beautiful saint she is, serge. and an awesomely warm tribute. |
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Location: Avondale, AZ | I'm sorry to hear of your loss. g8r said "Mom, thank you for showing me the value of honesty, commitment, perseverance, education and humor. Thank you for giving me perspective on what’s truly important in life. And most of all, thank you for the music." She was a wonderful mother. |
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| The fact hat you could write that speaks volumes for her.
My condolences to you and your family. |
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Location: Brisbane Australia | Serge,
Thankyou for sharing
Sincere condolences from all Downunder
AJ |
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Location: south east Michigan | That is a wonderful story.
Thank you. |
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Location: NJ | WellDone, and MyCondolences for YourLoss. |
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Location: Yucaipa, California | Thank you for including us Serge. My deepest condolences and well wishes. I've been there with both parents.
Beautiful tribute to a Beautiful Woman. Thank you. |
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Location: big island | and you've got your mom's eyes. |
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Location: Colorado Rocky Mountains | A beautiful story in commemoration of a talented, caring and obviously beautiful person. You are blessed. Thanks for sharing it with us, Serge. |
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Location: Marlton, NJ | Serge - I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom. Our deepest sympathies go out to you and your family. That's a very beautiful story - thanks for sharing it with us.
Your Friend,
Mike |
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Location: Cicero, NY | So sorry for your loss, serge. And, just to echo what has been said, what a stunning memorial by a son. Thanks for sharing. |
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Location: SoCal | All our prayers, Serge..... |
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Location: Capital District, NY, USA Minor Outlying Islands | My condolences.
What a wonderful woman. |
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Location: Central Massachusetts | What a great tribute. She raised you right. Sorry for your loss. |
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Location: Copenhagen Denmark | My sincere condolences ,
A Wonderful and Beautyful Tribute indeed , Good thoughts are on the way to you and your family.
Vic |
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Location: East Tennessee | Serge,
I'm very sorry to hear of your loss.
Thank You for sharing Her story. My prayers go out to you and your family. |
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Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | My Condolences, Serge. |
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Location: Slightly northwest of Trader Jim | Serge,
I'm so sorry for your loss. I can only hope that her going peacefully is some measure of comfort to you and your family. Knowing you is somewhat like knowing what she must have been like.
GOD BLESS. |
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Location: South of most, North of few | Serge, thank you for the heartwarming story, and please accept my condolences for your loss. We too will be praying for your family. |
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Location: Boise, Idaho | Nothing more or better can be said. There's nothing like a Mom's love for her kids. For years I wanted to sing "Momma" by B.J. Thomas for my mother and it was one of the reasons I picked up the guitar after many years. Sing it for her, Serge. |
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Location: Campbell River, British Columbia | My deepest sympathies and greatest thanks.
I am one of many honoured to be included in
this private moment that is so large in your heart.
May her inspiration continue to bless your life. |
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Location: Steeler Nation, Hudson Valley Contingent | There is little more I can say other than Thank You for sharing with us. May she be welcomed home. |
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Location: 6 String Ranch | Tough one but a blessing.
Doesn't make it easier though.
Our thoughts are with you.
We'll dedicate the song (topic is Secret)at the Mermaid to her tonight. "Behind her lips is a Secret" I imagine She knew a few and shared a few with you Serge.. |
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Location: Keepin' It Weird in Portland, OR | My Sympathies G8r.
Thank You for sharing. |
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Location: Cincinnati | I'm sorry for your loss, Serge. |
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Location: Michigan | Serge that is a beautiful tribute to your Mother & your family.It says alot about the way you were raised and the real family values that alot of families have forgotten in todays world.
Your were blessed with a beautiful family that looked after each other.Keep those memories of your Mother & Father fresh everyday.
My deepest sympathies.GWB |
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Location: Budd Lake, NJ | A wonderful mom is a blessing beyond measure; those of us who have also lost a great mom know how deep such a loss truly is.
Thank you for the chance to get to know her even just a little bit.
I'll be praying you and all your family.
Hugs for all,
Karen |
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Location: Hot Springs, S.D. | What a beautiful woman she was, inside and out.
This is the second time today that I have wiped away tears for my friends on this board. First I cried for joy that OLJ is playing guitar again. Now I'm crying for your loss. No matter how old we are, once we have lost both of our parents, we feel a little lost, and like, well, orphans. I will keep you in my prayers. |
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Location: Lisbon, Portugal | I'm just a noobie around here, but I would like to send you my condolences for your loss.
I cannot even imagine what you fell at this moment, so I'll just shut up... |
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Location: Latitude 39.56819, Longitude -105.080066 | Serge, having met you, your wonderful wife, and son I can honestly say you have carried on all the family values instilled in you by your parents.
All my best and I look forward to seeing you again in the near future. |
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Location: Jet City | Serge, thanks for sharing that wonderful story. She lives on in you, that's very apparent.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. |
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Location: Sydney, Australia | Serge, deepest sympathies. Your Mum sounds like a wonderful woman who gave you both a good sense of values and a great musical talent. |
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| Our deepest and sincerest thanks to all of you for your kind words, thoughts and prayers. It's never easy to lose a loved one, but her passing has been on the horizon for a while now. She lived a full, productive and useful life, and left this world with no regrets and a little better off by her presence. I made my peace with her, and thanked her with many of the words and thoughts I posted. Everyone, please do the same with your own parents if you can, while you can. Her passing is bittersweet, but I have no regrets for things left unsaid or thanks not expressed.
Beal, thank you so much for the dedication. Some of the secrets she let on about in her last years would definitely have raised eyebrows and offended sensibilities ;) |
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Location: SoCal | Ok Serge, I gotta ask.... How could your mother look so much like you, but be so beautiful????? Obviouisly, you married your wife to try to get back some of the beauty into the family that was lost with you.
Well done son, both on picking great parents and a great wife. You are blessed...... |
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Location: Cicero, NY | "Obviouisly"
Is that LA speak for "obviously"? |
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Location: Upper Left USA | Thank you for sharing her with us! |
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Location: big island | Originally posted by g8r:
Some of the secrets she let on about in her last years would definitely have raised eyebrows and offended sensibilities ;) like why she wasn't posing with an Ovation in that photo... ;) |
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Location: Simpsonville, SC | Serge, a grand tribute to your mother and wonderful opening of your heart about her.
Her ways have, obviously, been passed down to you.
Sandy and my thoughts and prayers will be with you and your family.
Jim |
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Location: Nashville TN. | My thoughts are with ya |
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Location: Orlando, FL | Serge, very sorry to hear of your loss. Condolences from our family to yours.
Thanks for sharing your Mom's story. Wonderful story and a great photo!
Take care and God bless.
Steve and Donna |
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| Originally posted by moody, p.i.:
Ok Serge, I gotta ask.... How could your mother look so much like you, but be so beautiful????? Kinda like Steven and Liv Tyler in reverse...
Obviouisly, you married your wife to try to get back some of the beauty into the family that was lost with you. Bingo! |
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Location: Central Florida | There was no beauty lost in Serge. He carries his mother's spirit very well. We are all fortunate to call him friend.
My heart is with you tonight, brother.
Otto
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Location: Florida Central Gulf Coast | Sergio,
May I ask where Patty and I can send a memorial donation? Also her name please.
Thanx! |
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Location: SoCal | Originally posted by g8r:
Originally posted by moody, p.i.:
Ok Serge, I gotta ask.... How could your mother look so much like you, but be so beautiful????? Kinda like Steven and Liv Tyler in reverse...
Obviouisly, you married your wife to try to get back some of the beauty into the family that was lost with you. Bingo!
30 years ago when my grandmother, the great matriarch of my family, died, we all came in from around the country for her service and we all cried. We then went to my parents house and started telling stories about her and the laughter went on until the early morning hours.
That's the best way to be remembered and honored.
And one other thought Serge, when my other grandmother was old and in a convelecent hospital, I was bad about going to see her (more like scared). Jerrie, my wife, and I were newly engaged. Jer's a nurse and insisted that I take her to see my grandmother. When we got there, my grandmother was, to me, not aware that we were there. Jer instantly started checking her condition, combing her hair, and talking with her, introducing herself. Later, I told Jer that she wasn't heard. Jer told me I was wrong, that my grandmother knew we were there. She was right and that's when I started crying.
Serge, in the last few weeks, your mom knew you were there and I have no doubt that it meant the world to her. |
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Location: Blue Ridge Mountains | Serge,
The best part of her and your Dad will continue to live on through you and your children...knowing you tells me that...
You and your family are in my families thoughts and prayers... |
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| Paul, you certainly did get a smile out of me, and I appreciate it.
Johnny, that's a lovely, 'tho unnecessary gesture. But if you insist, Mom was a lifelong avid gardener, and could make cacti grow underwater and rainforest orchids thrive in a desert. One of her favorite places of all time was our local botanical garden, so any memorial donation would best go to:
Kanapaha Botanical Gardens
4700 S.W. 58th Drive
Gainesville, FL 32608
In memory of Sebastiana Catalina Caballero, although she went by "Cathy" to everyone who knew her.
Once again, THANK YOU to all my OFC family for your support and kindness. |
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Location: Florida Central Gulf Coast | For those that want to memorialize Cathy ... |
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Location: Sunshine State, Australia | Serge, a beautiful tribute to a beautiful person.
My condolences for your loss. She's in a better place. |
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Location: New York, NY | "May you stay forever young."
-Bob Dylan
A beautiful life, well lived. My deepest condolences for your loss. May she be in a better place (I agree with muzza). |
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Location: Rego Park, NY, | My deepest condolences Serge. |
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Location: Flushing, MI | I'm so sorry for your loss. What a wonderful lady your mom was. That was a wonderful tribute to her too. |
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Location: GA USA | Very sorry, Serge. It's hard, but the good memories make it easier. |
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Location: Phoenix AZ | Serge, Really sorry for your loss. From the photo I can clearly see where you got your love of slotheads from ...
When my own mother passed away several years ago it puzzled my wife why I didn't really show any grieving for a woman I was so close to and loved so dearly. But I explained "I knew her for 48 years and today is the only bad day we ever had."
I hope your memory too is filled with wonderful rememberences of your mother and by all accounts she has left quite some impression on this world.
Kind regards, Dave |
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Location: Round Rock, TX | My deepest condolences for what has to be a painful loss. What a blessing, however, that you have such warm and loving memories of her and can honor her ins such a beautiful way. |
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Location: Atlanta GA | Please accept my most sincere condolences... |
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Location: Delaware | My deepest sympathy goes out to you and your family. She must have been a wonderful woman and mother, we must all count our blessings, everyday.
Dave |
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Location: 6 String Ranch | Got you a first Serge.
I'll send the $$$ to the place. |
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Location: closely held secret | My condolences, Serge, and my best wishes to your family.
Sounds like you have trunks of wonderful memories to hold very dear.
...and way to go, Beal! |
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Location: the BIG Metropolis of TR | Serge, As I read your loving tribute to your beautiful mother and scrolled down to see the picture of her......your resemblance to her is obvious!
Forever hold her in your memory......
Thanks for sharing her story....My condolences |
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Location: Blue Ridge Mountains | Thanks for the link Iffy; and Beal: nicely done! |
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Location: Michigan | Really sorry to hear about her death but I am uplifted by your story of her life. It sounds like the world was a better place because of her and all of us should be grateful for that. |
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Location: Burbank | G8r, I am sorry to hear about your mother, I send my sympathy to you and your family. Writing a beautiful tribute to her as you have is good for you. It puts your mind in a place of remembering her and re-living your time with her. I can imagine the range of emotions you may have went through putting that together. When my father passed away I had was asked to do something and at first I was, "What now?" But doing it was a heart-wrenching beatutiful task that I was happy I did. Yours was a great one. Keep her memory alive and be sure your children know of her especially the little one that will need you to remind her.
Be well,
Mario |
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| Whew, I'm overwhelmed by your kindness and generosity. This truly is the finest collection of people on the planet.
Way to go Beal, and a very special thank you for the dedication and your generosity. Johnny, you've been like a brother, and this coming January at G8rbowl-Dos I'll explain just how much that means.
Our love and blessings to you all. |
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Location: Omaha, NE | She was beautiful! What a great tribute! Thanks for sharing. |
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Location: Utah | g8r, my sincere sympathies for your loss. |
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Location: Crossville, TN | Very nice tribute g8r, She obviously was a very loved and loving person. I'm very sorry for your loss. |
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Location: nyc area | my sincerest condolences for your loss, Serge. Reminds me how precious our time with our loved ones really is. Write a song for her, and she will live on through your music and your memories. |
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RIP: My Mom